People have a lot of misconceptions about boundaries. You may hear people say that boundaries are harsh, rigid, a punishment, or even selfish. Some people even believe that sharing boundaries is a way to control others or tell them what to do. Recently, I’ve heard another misconception: setting a boundary with someone is a sign that you disapprove of them. Tune in to learn why this isn’t the case, and how your boundaries are all about you.

 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #141:

• Whether you disapprove of someone isn’t the focus or the issue when you set a boundary. To focus on approval or disapproval is a deflection away from your limits.
• If someone’s first reaction to your choice to set a boundary is to accuse you of disapproving of them, they are simply expressing their opinion, and the may be acting without accountability.
• Your limits are about you and you alone. Boundaries are a form of self-care. They’re about taking care of yourself, not disapproving of someone else.

 

Highlights from Episode #141:

• Welcome to the episode! Vicki chats about the reasons she started this podcast. [00:39]
• We hear about some common misconceptions about boundaries. [02:15]
• Vicki adds a new misconception to the list: if you set a boundary with another person, it means that you don’t approve of them. [05:57]
• Does setting a boundary mean that you disapprove of someone or their behavior? [09:40]
• Vicki talks about boundaries as a form of self-care, and explains with an example. [11:35]
• If you set a limit and someone calls you rigid, harsh, or disapproving, they’re changing the subject from you to them. [14:52]
• Remember that your boundaries are about you and your self-care! [17:06]

 

Links and Resources:

• Vicki’s monthly Boundaries Clarifier Workshops
• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
• Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram
• The Radiant Threefold Path
• Beyond Bitchy on Spotify