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141-Year-Old Tortoise, RFK Poems, and Other Nightmares - EP. 603
THE BALLER LIFESTYLE PODCAST — EPISODE 603
Hosted by: Brian Beckner & Ed Daly
Support the show: patreon.com/theballerlifestylepodcast
FULL SHOW NOTES (APPLE PODCAST COMPREHENSIVE EDITION)
Cold Open / Welcome Back
Brian returns with Episode 603 of TBLS and immediately shouts out the Patreon crew—home of Bonus Bri, emotional sobriety updates, and all the private crying he refuses to do in public. Ed Daly joins and promptly delivers breaking news about an NFL player suspended for watching porn in a team meeting… at full volume. Chaos ensues.
Thanksgiving Recap & Tea Talk
(The answer is apparently controversial.)
️ Woke Up Gay Again Mug Saga
Brian receives a custom “Woke Up Gay Again” mug—plus his very own “gay card”—leading to:
ToeCutter strikes again.
RIP Segment
The boys honor (and roast) the deceased:
️ / Sports News
Browns DL Shelby Harris calls 49ers WR Jauan Jennings a “hoe”
And he clarifies it. Repeatedly.
Patrick Beverley accused of punching and choking his teenage sister
The guys discuss:
Pickleball vs. Carmel, CA
Carmel considers banning pickleball because it’s “too noisy.”
Brian rants about temporary courts, olds blowing Achilles tendons, and why tennis is superior.
Drake Maye Spotted at His Girlfriend’s Adult Cheer Competition
Wait—adult cheer competitions?
The guys spiral into:
Listener Voicemails & Mailbag
Ben
Astounded that Brian & Ed only consume gravy once a year.
Matthew Richards
Asks if Ed would peek at Hitler’s infamous micro-penis if gifted a time machine.
(Consensus: obviously yes.)
Gfish
Offers to file a complaint against Jay Stew’s online bullies.
Toe Cuttter
Sends physical mail (!) including the mug and gay card, then demands:
Loudest Comer Power Rankings
Non-Sports: Weird News, Sexual Disasters & Political Horrors
Hitler Micro-Penis Discourse
Time travel urinal etiquette.
Historical dick analysis.
Rasputin’s jar-encased hog.
RFK Jr. Felching Poetry Scandal
Brian & Ed read actual RFK sext-poems involving:
Listeners are begged to call in if they’ve ever actually felched (unlikely, but we’re listening).
UK Man Hospitalized After Eating 7 Pounds of Gummy Cola Bottles
Relatable to a point. Then horrifying.
Hugh Hefner reportedly drank 20 Pepsis a day + 3 lbs of M&Ms
The true cause of Playboy longevity?
Macaulay Culkin legally changes his middle name to Macaulay Culkin
The poll results are honored.
Italian Man Dresses as Dead Mother to Collect Pension
Mrs. Doubtfire but make it mortifying.
Smokey Robinson Accused of Forcing Strangers to Touch His Erection
Brian plays tracks from GASMS, Smokey’s actual album filled with sex songs to confirm:
Yes, this man is capable of anything.
SUPPORT THE SHOW
Patreon subscribers get extended dong talk + bonus content weekly.
Join here: patreon.com/theballerlifestylepodcast
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
View all episodes
By TheBallerLifestyle.com
4.8
203203 ratings
THE BALLER LIFESTYLE PODCAST — EPISODE 603
Hosted by: Brian Beckner & Ed Daly
Support the show: patreon.com/theballerlifestylepodcast
FULL SHOW NOTES (APPLE PODCAST COMPREHENSIVE EDITION)
Cold Open / Welcome Back
Brian returns with Episode 603 of TBLS and immediately shouts out the Patreon crew—home of Bonus Bri, emotional sobriety updates, and all the private crying he refuses to do in public. Ed Daly joins and promptly delivers breaking news about an NFL player suspended for watching porn in a team meeting… at full volume. Chaos ensues.
Thanksgiving Recap & Tea Talk
(The answer is apparently controversial.)
️ Woke Up Gay Again Mug Saga
Brian receives a custom “Woke Up Gay Again” mug—plus his very own “gay card”—leading to:
ToeCutter strikes again.
RIP Segment
The boys honor (and roast) the deceased:
️ / Sports News
Browns DL Shelby Harris calls 49ers WR Jauan Jennings a “hoe”
And he clarifies it. Repeatedly.
Patrick Beverley accused of punching and choking his teenage sister
The guys discuss:
Pickleball vs. Carmel, CA
Carmel considers banning pickleball because it’s “too noisy.”
Brian rants about temporary courts, olds blowing Achilles tendons, and why tennis is superior.
Drake Maye Spotted at His Girlfriend’s Adult Cheer Competition
Wait—adult cheer competitions?
The guys spiral into:
Listener Voicemails & Mailbag
Ben
Astounded that Brian & Ed only consume gravy once a year.
Matthew Richards
Asks if Ed would peek at Hitler’s infamous micro-penis if gifted a time machine.
(Consensus: obviously yes.)
Gfish
Offers to file a complaint against Jay Stew’s online bullies.
Toe Cuttter
Sends physical mail (!) including the mug and gay card, then demands:
Loudest Comer Power Rankings
Non-Sports: Weird News, Sexual Disasters & Political Horrors
Hitler Micro-Penis Discourse
Time travel urinal etiquette.
Historical dick analysis.
Rasputin’s jar-encased hog.
RFK Jr. Felching Poetry Scandal
Brian & Ed read actual RFK sext-poems involving:
Listeners are begged to call in if they’ve ever actually felched (unlikely, but we’re listening).
UK Man Hospitalized After Eating 7 Pounds of Gummy Cola Bottles
Relatable to a point. Then horrifying.
Hugh Hefner reportedly drank 20 Pepsis a day + 3 lbs of M&Ms
The true cause of Playboy longevity?
Macaulay Culkin legally changes his middle name to Macaulay Culkin
The poll results are honored.
Italian Man Dresses as Dead Mother to Collect Pension
Mrs. Doubtfire but make it mortifying.
Smokey Robinson Accused of Forcing Strangers to Touch His Erection
Brian plays tracks from GASMS, Smokey’s actual album filled with sex songs to confirm:
Yes, this man is capable of anything.
SUPPORT THE SHOW
Patreon subscribers get extended dong talk + bonus content weekly.
Join here: patreon.com/theballerlifestylepodcast
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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