A Farmish Kind of Life

172: This is Not About “Them”


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There is a difference between relying on each other and relying on Them. I believe healing and progress will take place in our country when there is more of the first and far less of the second, but in order to have less of the second, we have some uncomfortable questions to answer.
I think this is important to talk about because as the world is going through these challenging times and shifting into whatever is coming next, I hear so many people say, “Screw it. I’m just gonna lock my door and be a hermit.” or “I’m gonna move to the woods and be all by myself because I don’t need anyone else.” And so they shut themselves off from the benefits of community, sometimes because of a misguided belief that we're not supposed to have to depend on anyone.
But here's the thing. There's a difference between learning to rely on each other and learning to rely on Them. Relying on people with a face and a name you know—someone you could invite over for coffee—in a relationship that's an agreed upon, two way street is completely different than relying on Them, the government or giant corporations/systems.
Each other vs. Them
Surviving and thriving because you depended on each other was normal way back in the day, and is even pretty common in some communities still. (I'm looking at you, Yoder.)
Community and depending on each other used to be the name of the game. If it was 1800 whatever and you were on the prairie, would you give a rat’s ass or probably even know what the government was up to on a daily basis?  But I bet they knew what Mr. So and So was up to down the way. They had to. Mr. So and So and Mrs. Whoever and your family were the only ones for miles. You had each other. You didn’t have Them.
Community is give and take. Community is I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine. Community is I’ll help you finish siding your house if you butcher and process my deer this year. It’s bartering. It’s helping each other. It’s following through on your end of the agreement. It’s offering help in ways that you can and knowing other people will help you out when you need it.
I don’t feel that with government. I don’t feel that with the public school system or the medical system or the corporate food system. That’s not community. That’s Them.
And yet there's a lot of people relying on those things. And when that system starts to break down—as it currently is—we have a lot of struggle and chaos. Because people have been relying on Them, not each other.
This is important to talk about
I hear people in the survival community sometimes spout off the importance of being able to care for yourself because ain’t nobody coming to help you. And while I agree with that, I think some people misconstrue what they’re saying. The way I see it, they’re saying learn to take care of yourselves because They aren’t coming to help you.
But you’d better believe that someone is coming to help you. Your community will help each other, right? You’ve seen this happen in times of struggle, right?
Gosh, I hope so. If not, you need to build that community.
I also think it’s important to talk about because there are people out there who won’t accept help from others because they’ve learned that relying on others is weak. Or that you’re taking a handout. Or that you should be able to fend for yourself. And I think they’ve learned that because of watching others take from the system and everything that comes from that.
Some uncomfortable truths
Now, I want to point out here that I think it’s great that there are food banks and soup kitchens and places for people to get clothing and there are shelters for people who need it. I’m not against assistance. I just know that some forms of assistance are horribly abused by some people. And I think it’s harder to abuse that assistance when it’s not done on a large scale by Them.
But, and this is a huge but, if we’re going to be a people who talk about how it’s not the government's job...
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A Farmish Kind of LifeBy Amy Dingmann

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