In this raw and real conversation, we sit down with a therapist and mom of four who opens up about what it was like to fall apart just when everything looked "fine." She shares the unexpected crash of antenatal depression during her third pregnancy, the challenge of diagnosing herself when she's supposed to be the expert, and how she finally got the help she needed. We talk about receiving a BRCA+ diagnosis after her mother's cancer, deciding to undergo a preventive mastectomy (with a hysterectomy still to come), and grieving the loss of future fertility. Julia also reflects on how her view of G-d has shifted from religious anxiety and bargaining to a more grounded kind of faith, and why posting honestly on social media became her lifeline. If you've ever felt pressure to "hold it together," questioned your faith, or wondered how anyone survives the chaos of being human—this episode is for you. Topics include: - What antenatal depression can actually look like (even when you're a therapist)

- Getting a BRCA+ diagnosis and making hard decisions

- Letting go of the fantasy of more children

- Religious anxiety, fear, and finding balance

- How humor and public storytelling became part of her healing

- Control, or lack thereof—and learning to live with it

Mentions:

Sharsheret and Chai Lifeline

More about Julia Makowsky:

Grew up in Los Angeles moved to New York for school where I was set up with my husband. I have a masters degree in social work and have been working in the field for over 13 years. I am a mom of 4 children and reside in the five towns. Recently I was diagnosed with BRCA1 where I have been navigating what is the best course of action for myself and my family.

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