028  To get what we want in our marriages, many of us HSPs unconsciously fall into using some tactics that...backfire. In this episode, I share what those are and dive deep into 2 of my personal old go-to’s: blame and criticism.

 They were at the heart of my first marriage's demise. From my end. I want to help you to avoid that experience. 

Blame and criticism can be sneaky, and insert themselves into our patterns of behavior just below our conscious awareness. So it’s important to take a kind close look at where and how they might show up for you.

It’s also so key to know that these tactics aren’t BAD. They don’t make you bad for getting caught in their sticky net. They just don’t work well. They leave you with a hardened heart and powerless to improve things. And they ultimately feel awful to use. 

Once we catch ourselves using them, we can stop using them and learn better ways that actually work.

In this episode, we discuss: 

• The problems with blame and criticism and why you really don’t want to do it chronically.
• Why it’s not your fault if you use these tactics
• How to recognize blame and criticism and some of the sneaky ways we do it without realizing it. 
• How to avoid making the common mistake many women fall into that stops them from changing the habit or makes it all worse…
• The antidote to blame and how to break the habit
• And what you need to know and do instead that will free you up to feel lighter and more energized, and way more empowered to learn and implement effective strategies to have more of what you want in your marriage.
• what to do if you revert into the habit again in the future to make your marriage ever more into a zone of loving safety.

 Though not a FUN topic, the reward on the other side of being willing to look at and free yourself from these tactics is delightful. I’m living it now: being a woman I feel great about being, with a marriage I love! I celebrate you for taking steps towards creating the same for yourself.

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Related Episodes Mentioned:
#22 How To Encourage More Of What You Want From Your Husband
#11 The HSP Mind-Body-Heart-Slump
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