This episode is one of the most downloaded episodes of the podcast, and for good reason!

Alissa chats with Matt Landsiedel about the pattern so many empaths know but rarely name: feeling overly responsible for everyone else's energy, emotions, and well-being.

Together they unpack the deeper reasons HSPs fall into overfunctioning, where empathy ends and codependency begins, and what it looks like to stop rushing in to save everyone around you.

If you missed this one the first time or need the reminder, this is your sign to press play.

You'll Learn:

• Why empaths often carry a sense of responsibility that was never theirs to hold
• The subtle difference between deeply feeling someone's pain and making it your job to fix it
• What overfunctioning actually looks like in everyday relationships
• Practical ways to pause before stepping into the "rescuer" role

Connect with Matt:

IG: @inspiredtobeauthentic

Youtube: Inspired to Be Authentic

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

This week, Alissa sits down with social anxiety coach and author Claire Eastham to unpack where that fear really comes from and what it takes to stop performing your way through every interaction.

Claire shares how years of masking and people-pleasing led to a nervous breakdown, and how embracing the very traits she'd been told were "too much" became the turning point. Together they explore why sensitive, empathic people are especially prone to over-scripting social situations and why the goal was never to stop feeling uncomfortable.

This conversation is equal parts honest and light, full of personal stories, practical strategies, and the kind of permission-giving reframes that change how you show up. The real shift isn't becoming someone who doesn't get anxious. It's becoming someone who doesn't need to hide it.

In this episode:

• Why social anxiety develops from early experiences of being told you're "not okay" the way you are, and how the brain starts treating social situations as threats
• The two patterns people fall into: total avoidance or over-preparing and scripting every interaction, and why neither leads to real connection
• How naming your anxiety out loud in the moment can cut it in half and why the shame of being "found out" is often worse than the anxiety itself
• Claire's approach to gradual exposure with a specific goal, broken into small steps, paired with genuine rewards
• The power of replacing small talk with real questions and why curiosity is a better social strategy than performance
• Why the most magnetic version of you isn't a polished persona but the one who's actually comfortable being themselves

Connect with Claire:

Website: https://substack.com/@thatsocialanxietycoach?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5bv5ps

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/claireeasthamuk/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wereallmadhere00

My new book 'Party with Panic: How to Conquer Panix Attacks (for good)' Is available to pre-order now and will be published on 11th May. For every copy sold I will donate 50p to the charity MQ . https://amzn.eu/d/06xOHhPO

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this epsidoe, Alissa explores the post-social spiral that so many highly sensitive people get trapped in, and the surprisingly simple tool she uses to stop it in its tracks.

Alissa shares two recent experiences of her own, one at a casual social gathering where she felt quieter than usual, and one at a networking event that pushed her way outside her comfort zone. She also pulls from a live coaching call inside the Not Too Sensitive Club, where a member shared her own version of this breakthrough that stopped the spiral.

What you'll hear in this episode:

• Why the post-social replay isn't a sign you did something wrong: it's a self-protective pattern rooted in past experiences of rejection or judgment
• How Alissa mentally files a worry away and commits to not reopening it
• The difference between recognizing something you'd do differently next time and punishing yourself for how you showed up
• Why sensitive people often feel pressure to be "on" in every interaction, and what shifts when you stop trying to manage how others perceive you

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Drawing from a recent coaching conversation inside the Not Too Sensitive Club, Alissa walks through the pattern so many highly sensitive women fall into: outsourcing their sense of self to how others respond to them. When that source gets disrupted (e.g., a boundary gets pushback, a workplace stops reflecting your value) it can feel like an identity crisis.

Alissa explores what happens when the external validation you've relied on disappears, and why that unraveling is actually the beginning of something more solid.

Because the real work isn't getting people to see you differently. It's learning to source your steadiness from within so that outside opinions stop running your life.

What you'll hear in this episode:

• How being the responsible, accommodating, always-available person becomes the thing you can't separate yourself from
• Why life sometimes removes your external sources of worth, and what the growth opportunity actually looks like when it does
• The inner critic that shows up when you try something new…what it sounds like and how to respond without crumbling
• Being okay with someone having the wrong idea about you (the skill most sensitive people were never taught)
• The difference between needing people to see you a certain way and deciding for yourself who you are

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa explores the difference between people who tell you what you want to hear and the ones who love you enough to tell you the truth. Because validation feels good, but it can also keep you stuck.

Alissa makes the case for honest, loving challenge as one of the most underrated forms of care, and reflects on what changes when you finally have people in your corner who won't let you stay small.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why saying what someone wants to hear isn't kindness. It's just comfort in disguise.
• How a blunt comment from her husband stung, landed, and lit a fire that changed everything.
• Relating to your struggle and helping you actually move through it are two very different things.
• What it looks like to hold space AND hold people to a higher standard at the same time.
• The relationship audit: do you actually have people in your life who will lovingly call you out?

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa unpacks what's actually happening when you measure yourself against someone else, and how to use those moments as information rather than evidence of your own inadequacy.

The reflex most of us have when comparison hits is either self-diminishment or quiet resentment. What Alissa offers instead is a way to get curious.

Alissa shares personal examples and client stories to show what it looks like to catch the comparison mid-spiral and redirect it. The more grounded you are in who you are and what you actually care about, the less comparison has to take you out.

In this episode:

• Why the first instinct is often self-criticism or justifying why the other person "doesn't count,"and how that keeps you stuck
• How to read what you're comparing yourself to as data pointing toward your desires and values
• A simple question to ask when comparison hits:"Do I actually care about this?", and how it can dissolve the charge almost instantly
• Why staying in frustration or victim energy doesn't just feel bad. It follows you into every conversation and relationship
• How knowing yourself deeply changes the way comparison lands, and how fast you can move through it

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa takes an honest look at why validating your feelings too much can be a problem. Your feelings can be completely valid and still not be an excuse to stay stuck.

Alissa shares examples from her own life like the overstimulation of motherhood, the chaos of a busy household, the moments where snapping feels like the only option; and gets real about what it actually looks like to validate your experience without letting it run the show.

She also opens up about writing her entire 70,000-word book while postpartum, not because she felt inspired and ready, but because she showed up anyway.

This episode isn't about pushing through or toxic positivity. It's about the difference between having your feelings witnessed… and hiding behind them.

You will learn:

• Why emotional validation is essential, and where it starts working against you
• The "growth gap": the space between who you've been and who you're becoming, and why your biggest triggers live there
• What it means to hold a higher vision for yourself, even on the hard days
• How sensitive people can get stuck in awareness without action (and what to do about it)
• Why waiting until you "feel ready" is quietly keeping you from the life you say you want
• The relationship between self-trust and follow-through, and how your actions either build or erode it

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa is joined by poet and author Bri, whose work speaks directly to the experience of being deeply sensitive in a world that often doesn’t understand it.

They talk about what it actually feels like to grow up highly sensitive, and how that shapes your identity, your relationships, and your sense of belonging.

Bri shares her experience navigating intense emotions from a young age, the pressure to suppress them, and the journey of reclaiming sensitivity as something meaningful rather than something “wrong.”

This conversation goes into:

1. The difference between feeling something and carrying it
2. Why sensitivity isn’t caused by trauma (even if trauma exists)
3. The healing power of creativity and self-expression
4. Navigating social media as a deeply sensitive person
5. Letting go of the need to be perceived a certain way
6. Learning to trust your own way of doing things

Connect with Brianna:

https://briannapastor.com/ https://www.instagram.com/briannapastor/?hl=en https://www.threads.com/@briannapastor https://www.tiktok.com/@briannapastorpoetry

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

1. Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
2. Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa explores how highly sensitive people can keep their “channel clear” so they can access their intuition, creativity, and natural gifts.

While sensitivity comes with powerful strengths—like empathy, intuition, and emotional intelligence—many HSPs feel disconnected from those gifts because their inner channel is cluttered by outside noise, old conditioning, and self-doubt.

Alissa shares three ways to clear that channel so you can trust yourself more deeply, connect with your authentic perspective, and stop letting insecurity or comparison block your natural strengths.

What You’ll Learn:

1. Why consuming too much outside input can disconnect you from your intuition
2. How shadow patterns like overthinking, perfectionism, and people-pleasing block sensitive strengths
3. Why doing deeper inner work helps highly sensitive people access their gifts
4. How to develop your own perspective instead of constantly outsourcing answers
5. What it means to “keep your channel clear” so your authenticity and wisdom can come through

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

1. Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
2. Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa sits down with therapist and author April Snow to talk about writing books, being seen as a highly sensitive person, and building resilience in a world that isn’t always HSP-friendly.

They share what it’s really like to write a full-length book (including the vulnerability of putting your words on a printed page), how confidence is built through discomfort, and why highly sensitive people are uniquely positioned to lead with empathy right now.

From fawning and people-pleasing to navigating criticism, creative risks, and visibility online, this conversation is an honest look at what it takes to trust your voice, even when it feels scary.

If you’ve ever held yourself back because you’re “too sensitive,” this episode will challenge that narrative in the best way.

You’ll learn:

1. Why highly sensitive people need more representation and resources
2. The healing power of being seen (especially after relational trauma)
3. How to stop making visibility “about you” and anchor into purpose instead
4. Why discomfort is unavoidable, and how to choose the empowering kind
5. The difference between confidence and arrogance for HSPs
6. Building resilience without burning yourself out
7. How to create a “supportive bubble” that allows you to show up in the world
8. The importance of reducing consumption to reconnect with your intuition
9. Why HSPs are emotional leaders and changemakers in subtle but powerful ways

Connect with April:

https://www.sensitivestrengths.com https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths https://www.tiktok.com/@sensitivestrengths https://www.youtube.com/@sensitivestrengths

Sensitive Circles community: an online hub for HSPs to find meaningful connection without the noise of social media. https://www.sensitivestrengths.com/sensitive-circles

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

1. Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
2. Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠