This week's episode comes from a riff request in the Not Too Sensitive Club group chat, a question about how to stop taking it personally when someone seems committed to disliking you, especially when you're wired to feel that discomfort in your body.

It's uncomfortable to sense someone judging you, and every instinct says to win them over. Alissa offers a different move: recognizing whose story this actually is.

She walks through what projection usually means psychologically, the energetic practices she uses before and after being around someone who triggers this, and why she'd rather be disliked for being herself than loved for shrinking.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why someone projecting negativity onto you is usually about an unexamined part of them, not evidence of something wrong with you
• The difference between setting a boundary with someone and pretending their treatment of you doesn't hurt
• How to use an energetic bubble and cord cutting before and after spending time with someone who triggers this pattern
• Why staying small and people pleasing can protect you from the discomfort, but why that's not the goal
• How to let someone's dislike of you be their thing to carry instead of yours

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa names the exhaustion of shape shifting to fit an imagined mold of what's acceptable, and offers the alternative: deciding, every day, who you are and how you want to show up.

Sparked by comments on a viral Instagram post about owning being "too much," Alissa calls out the excuse that other's won't let you be your true self. She's not buying the narrative that other people's discomfort is proof something is wrong with you.

Pulling from her own story and pattern she keeps hearing from women in the Not Too Sensitive Club, she shares ways you can take back your power and decide who you are going to be.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why trying to fit into everyone's idea of acceptable costs you pieces of yourself
• The real difference between wanting connection and needing everyone's approval
• What moving to California from Minnesota taught Alissa about owning her differences instead of hiding them
• Why overthinking after a social interaction is your nervous system reading it as a threat to belonging, not a character flaw
• How self-worth changes the entire experience of imperfect social moments
• Why healing your triggers matters as much as understanding where they came from

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Alissa recently shared a post that said "please be too much," and it went viral, reaching over 2 million people after nearly two years of feeling like her work wasn't getting seen. But this episode isn't really about going viral. It's about what happened in those two quiet years before it, and why the willingness to show up anyway, even when you feel embarrassed, judged, or invisible, is what actually builds confidence and self-trust.

For sensitive people, the fear of being seen trying runs deep. Alissa offers two words that changed her life: so what?

She shares the stories behind it, from being mocked by people she went to high school with, to an email that hit her most painful insecurity square in the chest, to the six years of unseen work that led to her book deal with Penguin Random House. You don't wait until you feel healed and confident to start. You start, and that's what makes you confident.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why "so what?" are two of the most freeing words when you're afraid of being judged
• What showing up without applause does for your identity and self-trust over time
• Why waiting until you feel fully healed to take action is actually fear and control in disguise
• How saying you want something but never acting on it quietly erodes your trust in yourself
• What it looks like to treat triggers as stepping stones instead of stop signs
• The difference between responding from your sensitive shadow archetype and your sensitive strength archetype

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa shares the duality she's been living inside, where heartbreak over a forever diagnosis sits right next to genuine blessing, and offers a way to honor every feeling without letting those feelings run the show.

Through real moments from her own week, the 7am overwhelm she interrupted with gratitude, the choked up drive home from the doctor, the surprise of a new car the same afternoon, she gets honest about what it really means to be steady. Being unbothered was never about feeling less. It's about feeling all of it and still choosing how you move forward.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why holding duality, the joy and the grief together, is one of the most important skills for a sensitive person
• What it means to honor your feelings without letting your feelings make every decision
• How a quick gratitude rampage can pull you out of a morning spiral
• How to catch the moments you slip into "why is this happening to me" and choose a higher perspective instead
• The difference between pushing past a hard feeling and actually moving through it

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Being seen means being judged. In this episode, Alissa lays out why that's not a reason to stay small, and what it actually takes to let other people have an opinion of you without losing yourself in it.

For HSPs, this isn't just a confidence issue. It's energetic. You feel it when someone misreads you, when a comment lands sideways, when the room shifts after you share something you're proud of. The instinct is to pull back, smooth it over, or shrink to keep the peace.

Alissa pulls from her own experience, including a pointed DM from a stranger who made it clear she wasn't a fan, and from a client who just hit a major life milestone and immediately felt the weight of other people's reactions.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why being judged is actually a sign you're doing something that matters
• The "zoomed out lens": how to observe someone's reaction without taking it on as your own
• What it really means to allow someone the dignity of their own experience, including their jealousy or discomfort with your success
• Practical energy-clearing techniques for releasing what doesn't belong to you
• Why dimming yourself to protect other people's feelings costs you more than it saves them

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

For HSPs navigating a world that wasn't built for them, the default can become: everything is hard, no one understands, and discomfort is a signal to retreat.

In this solo episode, Alissa challenges that frame directly. She shares how her life experience has shaped her view of challenges.

So even with the newest challenge life is giving her, to raise her daughter Blaine through a Type 1 diabetes and celiac diagnosis, she knows this discomfort is not something to escape but the exact thing that is building her confidence that she can handle the life she wants.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why expanding your tolerance for discomfort is the foundation of feeling steady and unbothered in your daily life
• How resilience shows up as curiosity about what a triggering moment is pointing to
• The cost of living as the "effect" of everything around you
• Why being an open-hearted, sensitive person in a non-sensitive world is something to own, not apologize for
• How every trigger and insecurity that surfaces is an invitation to strengthen something within yourself

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa revisits one of the most important distinctions for highly sensitive people: the difference between caring about someone and carrying their experience as your own. Using real examples from clients and her own life, she unpacks why the impulse to manage other people's emotions is actually anxiety disguised as empathy.

For HSPs who grew up as the peacekeeper, the fixer, or the emotionally responsible one, this pattern runs deep. The discomfort of watching someone be disappointed, frustrated, or hurt can feel so unbearable that smoothing it over becomes automatic. But Alissa names what that actually costs: your steadiness, your self-worth, and your ability to show up with any real integrity.

You’ll Learn:

• Why the urge to smooth things over or manage someone's reaction often comes from your own discomfort, not from genuine care
• The difference between high self-worth and self-abandonment when someone pushes back on a boundary you've set
• How HSPs who grew up as caretakers or peacekeepers learned to tie their sense of safety to other people's emotional states
• What it looks like to let someone have a hard feeling without making yourself responsible for changing it
• Why allowing people the dignity of their own experience is an act of respect, not indifference

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa explores one of the most deeply ingrained patterns she sees in highly sensitive people: the belief that having needs makes you a burden.

For HSPs, this is a story that gets built early, when your emotional reactions were “too big”, when your needs felt different from everyone else's, and when the people around you responded with frustration instead of understanding.

That story then follows you into adulthood, into relationships, and even into restaurants where you over-apologize to the waitress for ordering plain chicken.

You’ll Learn:

• Why HSPs are especially vulnerable to good girl conditioning and how it shows up in relationships, work, and health
• Ways you may be getting something out of being the over-apologizing, people pleaser that ends up keeping you stuck.
• How your triggers in moments of self-advocacy are actually your best opportunities to build self-worth
• What it means to expand your tolerance for discomfort so other people's reactions stop running the show
• Why letting people help you, and asking for what you need, is a signal of openness, not weakness

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this solo episode, Alissa shares a deeply personal update about her daughter's new celiac disease diagnosis and what it revealed about the way life equips you long before you understand why.

Years of navigating her own severe digestive issues, strict diets, and the emotional weight of feeling different gave Alissa a toolkit she never expected to need for her child. She connects that thread to the broader truth about how sensitivity, struggle, and the discomfort of being "too much" are never wasted.

You’ll Learn:

• The difference between riding the wave of hard emotions and getting stuck in "why is this happening to me" energy
• How confidence is built through withstanding discomfort
• A Not Too Sensitive Club member's story of staying steady in the face of someone else's judgment
• The shift from living as the effect of your environment to sourcing your own steadiness:

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Alissa opens up about the very challenging season of life her and her family have recently been thrust into.

Her three year old daughter Blaine was suddenly diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, and navigating it has revealed so much about the power of sensitivity, the discipline of steadiness, and the choice to see growth inside the pain.

In this episode:

• How Alissa's sensitivity helped her catch her daughter's diabetes early
• The practice of being steady and grounded for your child while separately making space to feel everything, cry, and lean on people who can hold it
• Why the adjustment period after a life disruption often means you stop caring for yourself first, and how to return to yourself.
• The shift from "this isn't fair" to "I was given this because I can carry it."
• How Alissa's faith has been an anchor for her through this experience.
• The Not Too Sensitive Club protocol reframes challenges as expansions.

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW

Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!

Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!

Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa

As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!

All you have to do is:

• Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
• Email a screenshot of your review to [email protected]

That's it! 😊

🦋🦋🦋

Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠