Happy New Year! We ring in the new year with a twist off champagne disappointment and a commitment to embracing the struggle. We review our 2025 resolutions, celebrating a shocking victory involving the Goodyear Blimp while admitting defeat on our gym consistency, and set new, oddly specific goals for 2026. Erin also goes on a passionate rant about the "rage" of physical limitations during yoga and the stress of friends who refuse to sync their digital calendars.

In sports news, we dig into the messy bankruptcy filing of Grand Slam Track, exposing the staggering amounts owed to athletes and media companies (including a $3 million marketing bill) and discussing the drama unfolding on Threads regarding undisclosed sponsorships. We also debate the purpose of those mysterious trash cans in drive-thru lines and share a childhood fear of stuffed animals. Finally, we determine the ultimate "worst sound when overstimulated" in our bracket segment—pitting shoe squeaks against loud dishes—and close with a high energy "No Bad News" story about a music teacher turning his kindergarten class into a techno rave.