The Art of We

23. Do Your Perfectionistic Tendencies Impact Your Partnership?


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Do you have control over your perfectionism or does it have control over you? Today we get into the pros and cons of perfectionism and the impact it has on our “We.” We illustrate ways that we work with perfectionism, both individually and together, and also the ripple effect that it has on our relationship when we don’t address it.

Perfectionism tends to get a bad rap, but when it doesn’t have you in its grip, it can be used as a tool to strive for better quality and continued improvement. It’s when we spiral into obsession and stress that we start to question our worthiness, safety, and validity. Like so many aspects of our psychology, those reactions are often linked to imprints from childhood. 

When we notice the talons of perfectionism sinking into one another, we like to gently make contact with each other and work through the root cause of that behavior. Sometimes it looks like parts work, other times it’s meditation, movement, or just changing up the routine to get out of our heads and into our bodies. 

Our challenge to you this week is to notice where perfectionism comes up for you: How does it serve you? How does it stifle you? How does it impact your partner?

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

  • Reflecting on how perfectionism affects our quality of life and world together
  • The aspect of perfectionism that feels fun and empowering 
  • How the feedback we received as children connects to our relationship with perfectionism as adults  
  • Examples of where our perfectionistic tendencies show up 
  • What we like to do individually and together when we notice an unhealthy attachment to specific outcomes 

Resources Mentioned: 

  • The Art Of We Weekly Newsletter


Get in Touch: 

  • The Art Of We Website
  • The Art of We Instagram 
  • Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training


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The Art of WeBy Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

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