November 19, 2025

271. How to Help Someone Change Their Mind (Without Nagging or Controlling)

45 minutes

Have you ever tried to “help” someone change… and they just dug in their heels? 😅

More resentment. More distance. Zero real change.

In this episode, Matt and Erin from Metanoia Catholic break down how to influence virtuously so you can help others change for the good without controlling, nagging, or manipulating.

This is Part 1 of a 2-part series on virtuous influencing – how to make a real impression on others while honoring their freedom and dignity.

You’ll learn:

👉 The difference between influence and manipulation
👉 Why real influence always starts with your interior disposition, not their
behavior
👉 How John Paul II’s personalistic norm applies to parenting, marriage,
work, and coaching
👉 Why trying to “fix” people usually backfires (and what to do instead)

Matt & Erin walk through the first 5 influential dispositions:

1. Compassionately Curious – seeking to understand what people truly
want
and value instead of assuming you “know what they need.”
2. Benevolently Boundaried – setting and keeping loving boundaries that
actually teach people how to be in healthy relationship with you.
3. Fearlessly Free – maximizing the other person’s freedom, even when
you’re afraid they might not choose well.
4. Confidently Candid – clearly naming the real consequences of actions
(without shaming or drama).
5. Impartially Inviting – inviting people into growth and a common good,
while staying detached from whether they say yes or no.

Whether you’re a:
• Catholic parent who wants to guide your teens without constant power
struggles
• Spouse who wants deeper change without nagging
• Leader or ministry worker who wants to call people higher
• Catholic coach who wants to ethically influence clients

…this episode will give you a clear, practical vision of what virtuous influence looks like day-to-day.

🟣 This is Part 1 – in the next episode, Matt & Erin cover the remaining 5 influential dispositions so you can grow into a truly impactful, virtuous leader in your home, work, and parish.

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