What can you do when your child refuses to do schoolwork? For a variety of reasons, kids sometimes (or often!) are unmotivated to do what needs to be done. You know the importance of schoolwork, so it can feel frustrating when your child digs their heels in and flat-out refuses to do it.

You can bring more joy to your child’s educational experience. No matter what your schooling situation is (homeschool, private, public), here are some practical ideas to empathize, encourage, and empower (problem-solve). Before we dive deeper, it’s important to first check what’s going on in your own heart.

Check what’s going on inside you first

Effectively helping your kids starts with learning to navigate your own anxiety, so you can lead your children calmly. Ask yourself, “Why does this bother me so much? What is underneath my frustration?”

* Are you simply overloaded with responsibilities, and you just want your child to do this without all the fuss? 

* Are you frustrated that your co-parent isn’t as involved as you’d like them to be? 

* Are you anxious about your child’s future? 

* Or maybe your childhood experience of school impacts what you’re feeling now.

* If you struggled, are you determined to prevent the kind of discouragement you experienced? 

* Or if you were a high achiever, are you determined that your child has the same success? 

With that insight, what are some beliefs based in the rock-solid foundation of God’s truth? 

For example, you might be thinking, “If my child fails this class, I have failed her, and she may fail in life,” Instead, try to embrace this freeing truth: “If my child fails a class, it’s a class. That’s it. It doesn’t define either of us or limit God’s purposes for my child. “

Remind yourself and your children that there is plenty of grace for this struggle, God is with you in it, and it doesn’t have to be perfect.

Try to embrace this freeing truth: “If my child fails a class, it’s a class. That’s it. It doesn’t define either of us or limit God’s purposes for my child. “

Empathize when your child refuses to do schoolwork

It is important to empathize with your kids before you try to solve the problem. Step into their shoes as you ask yourself:

* What’s it like to be them?

* What are they feeling? 

* Are there basic needs (nutrition, sleep, outside stress) that could be causing them to struggle? 

Your child might be experiencing overstimulation, boredom, low blood sugar, fatigue, or lack of exercise and/or sleep. Whatever the stressors your kids are experiencing, it’s helpful to express, “I get what it’s like to be you!” 

Some kids’ brains are like a microscope – easily dialed in on a specific focus, while others are more like a kaleidoscope of bright, distracting thoughts that are constantly changing. And remember, compared to you as an adult, your child doesn’t have the same maturity and development.