MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

If you've ever convinced yourself your kindergartner's reading struggles mean he'll never get into college, hold a job, or leave your house, welcome. I've been there. 😂

After 23 years of parenting, I've learned that some of the things we worry about most aren't the things that matter most. And some of the struggles we desperately want God to take away from our kids might actually be the very things He's using to shape them.

Today we're talking about what it means to build our families on a firm foundation in a world that seems to value everything but the things that matter eternally. I'm also sharing four parenting lessons I learned at the playground (because apparently there's more to learn there than just how to avoid getting taken out by a swing).

We're talking about letting kids struggle, not comparing their paths, finding the right people, and figuring out what success should actually look like for our families.

Because at the end of the day, our goal isn't to raise impressive kids. It's to raise kids who know and follow Jesus.

Whether your kids are five or twenty-five, this one's for you. And trust me, I needed the reminder just as much as anyone.

For more playground rules parenting advice check out Life is Messy, God is Good

All things Cynthia

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After 25 years of marriage, I've learned one critical thing: my husband loves a good gift, and I'd prefer someone just unload the dishwasher. And that's just one of the many things we're talking about with this week's legendary guest, Dr. Gary Chapman, the man who literally wrote the book on love languages.

We're talking about why you can know your spouse's love language and still completely miss the mark. Turns out, there are different "dialects" within each love language, and what makes one person feel loved might drive another person absolutely crazy. We get into why good intentions aren't always enough, how to stop turning every disagreement into a courtroom argument, and why the attitude we bring into marriage might matter more than how we're feeling about our spouse on any given Tuesday.

Dr. Chapman also shares some great advice on loving our kids as they grow, why our love languages can look different depending on the season of life, and one simple question we should be asking our spouses every few weeks. Oh, and if you're wondering about the behind-the-scenes of my conversation with one of the world's leading relationship experts, I'll just say I accidentally missed our original interview. Thankfully, grace appears to be one of his love languages, too.

Don't miss this one, friends. It's funny, practical, and a really good reminder that loving someone well isn't just about what we're giving, but whether they're actually receiving it.

The Love Language That Matters Most by Dr. Gary Chapman

5 Love Languages Website

All things Cynthia

I’ve had the privilege of interviewing Pastor Max Lucado many times over the years, and somehow it never gets old. He’s someone so many of us have admired for years and years, which means I decided it was time to ask him a few questions I’ve been saving. You’re welcome. 😊 

Today Pastor Max tells us the spiritual habit that has shaped his faith more than any other, what he wishes every 40-year-old knew, what every 70-year-old needs to remember, which Bible character he most wants to sit down with in heaven, and what he would preach if he only had one sermon left. 

I know, right? 

We also have such a meaningful conversation about courage—what it looks like to stay steady when you feel outnumbered, discouraged, exhausted, or like you’re the only one trying to live faithfully. Max takes us into the life of Elijah and reminds us that courage isn’t about never struggling, but knowing where to anchor your faith when you do.

This is such a special conversation with one of my spiritual heroes. I can’t wait for you to listen. And pretty please, share it with a friend too!

All Things Cynthia 

Unbreakable Courage: Strong Faith in an Age of Anxiety, Chaos, and Exhaustion by Max Lucado

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Last week on MESSmerized, I talked about what happens when you’ve prayed and prayed . . . and nothing seems to change. You know God is good. You know He hears you. But sometimes it still feels like He’s nowhere to be found.

That’s why this week’s conversation with Tammy Trent feels so timely.

Tammy lost her husband in a tragic diving accident in Jamaica on September 11, 2001, and that loss began a very real journey of asking God where He was in the middle of unimaginable pain.

Today we’re talking about what Tammy has learned in the 25 years since then—how to trust God when you can’t feel Him, why hard questions don’t mean you have weak faith, why truth has to carry us when our feelings can’t, and how to let go of the life we thought we were supposed to have. She also shares some incredibly specific ways God met her in the middle of her grief.

If you’ve ever thought, “God, do You see me? Do You hear me? Where are You in this?” this conversation is for you.

Also, if someone came to mind while you were reading this, send it their way pretty please!

Where are You Now God? By Tammy Trent 

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Tell me I’m not alone. Have you ever prayed for something so long that you’ve started wondering, “Are You there, God? It’s me, Cynthia.”

Today we’re talking about Habakkuk and what prayer looks like when God feels silent, His answer makes no sense, or nothing seems to be changing.

Habakkuk gives us three things to hold onto:

Honesty. God can handle the real prayer—the frustrated, confused, “Where are You?” prayer.

Higher ground. Sometimes we need to get out of the weeds, quiet the noise, and let God’s Word—not our circumstances—shape what we believe.

Hope. Habakkuk doesn’t end with everything fixed. He ends with confidence that God is still sovereign and will give him the footing to walk whatever terrain is ahead.

If you’re waiting, wondering, or wrestling with God right now, today’s show is for you.

P.S. — If you haven’t filled out the MESSmerized survey, will you do that pretty please? It’s right here!

P.P.S. — If you enjoyed today’s show, will you share it with your besties?

All things Cynthia

I recorded this interview right before meeting some friends for lunch, and I could not stop talking about it. By the time lunch was over, they had all bought the book. That’s how much this conversation got me.

And so . . . I’m thrilled to have Dr. Kathy Koch on the show today. The last time she was here, the response from you guys was incredible, and she was gracious enough to come back—even after I mistakenly called her dead one time. 😂

Today we’re talking about her book 8 Great Smarts, and I’m telling you, this one has changed the way I look at my kids—and myself.

Dr. Kathy walks us through the eight different “smarts,” how to recognize them, and why understanding the way God wired us can be so freeing. We talk about why struggling in school does NOT mean you aren’t smart, how some of the things that drive us crazy about our kids may actually point to their strengths, and even how understanding your smarts can help you recognize the ways you naturally relate to and connect with God.

Plus, I share how I passed the bar exam but never managed to pass a piano theory test after nine years of lessons. Make it make sense.

Turns out, life smarts a little less when you understand how you’re smart. See what I did there? 😂 And PLEASE share this one with a friend. I really think every parent—and honestly every adult—needs this word from Dr. Kathy. 

All things Cynthia

8 Great Smarts by Dr. Kathy

Dr. Kathy’s Website

WE’RE BACK! After taking August off, MESSmerized is officially back for a brand-new fall season. I’ve got lots to catch you up on in the intro, and first I just want to say thank you for giving me a little space to step away and recharge. It was so needed, and now we’re coming back firing with some incredible guests this fall.

And there was really only one way to kick things off: my dear close personal friend Candace Cameron Bure. And by “close personal friend,” I mean we’ve never actually met in person, talk about once a year, and I remain fully committed to making this friendship happen.

Candace and I talk about everything from becoming “Candy Graham” to two new grandbabies, what she’d tell her younger self about parenting, and why busyness can quietly steal our hope. We also talk about her new devotional, Wild Hope, the Scripture she memorized before heading into the Malaysian jungle for Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test, and of course, her Christmas movies. Plus, because apparently I learned nothing from last time, I put her through another Full House trivia game.

One more thing before you go: later this week I’m sending out a survey, as promised, because I really want your feedback on the show—what you’re loving, what you want more of, what you want less of, all of it. If you haven’t already, head to cynthiayanof.com and enter your email so you can be part of all the MESSmerized happenings.

Grateful for you friends . . . can’t wait to kick things off!

Wild Hope: A 30-Day Devotional to Overcome Life’s Challenges by Candace

Candace’s Live Tour

Remember the time I accidentally killed off a guest? Me neither. 😬 Okay...so I confidently announced on another podcast that sweet Dr. Kathy Koch had been dead for years. Turns out she's very much alive, incredibly gracious, and has a fantastic sense of humor.

If you're wondering how to parent your adult children without driving them—or yourself—crazy, this episode is for you. We talk about the practical, biblical wisdom in Dr. Kathy's new book on navigating relationships with adult children. From knowing when to speak up (and when to zip it), to letting your kids struggle without rescuing them, navigating prodigals, kids moving back home, boundaries, and conflict, this conversation is packed with wisdom. Best of all, it's one of those conversations that will leave you encouraged instead of guilty.

And one little programming note: thank you for spending time with me each week. I never take that for granted. We'll be taking a little break over the next few weeks for some much-needed rest and relaxation. (Okay...who are we kidding?) Around here, it's more like moving kids back to college, buying elementary school supplies, and wondering why I live in Dallas with the ridiculous heat. 

But don't worry—we'll be back in late August with meaningful conversations, plenty of laughs, and some guests I absolutely can't wait for you to meet. Thanks for being here. I can't wait to catch up with you then.

How’d I Miss That

All things Cynthia

Kathy Koch’s New Book

Kathy Koch’s Website 

Last night I had my Wednesday lunch girls over to celebrate a few birthdays, and as I looked around the table, I found myself feeling incredibly grateful. We've done life together through babies, college kids, aging parents, health scares, marriage struggles, celebrations, disappointments, and all the ordinary moments in between. It reminded me how much we were created for community. We need people who know our stories, tell us the truth, laugh with us, pray for us, and show up when life gets hard.

Which is exactly why I loved this week's conversation.

I sat down with author Becky Harling to talk about friendship—the lifelong kind, the complicated kind, and the kind that takes a whole lot more work than any of us expected.

We talked about loyalty, why assuming the worst about people rarely ends well, how to have hard conversations instead of quietly disappearing, and why every friendship eventually needs a little grace.

Becky also shared how her cancer journey reshaped the way she thinks about relationships, including loneliness, jealousy, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, unmet expectations, and all the other things that can make friendship feel harder than it should.

It was one of those conversations that left me thankful for the women God has placed in my life and reminded me not to take those relationships for granted. Deep friendships don't happen by accident—they're built over time, through showing up, extending grace, and choosing to stay connected even when it's hard.

If you have a friend who's walked through a season with you, checked in when you needed it most, or simply makes your life better by being in it, would you do me a favor? Send this episode to her. Friendship is something worth celebrating, and my hope is that this conversation encourages both of you.

I have a feeling you'll see yourself somewhere in this episode. Can't wait for you to listen!

All things Cynthia

Friend-Wise by Becky Harling

This week, Cynthia and Melissa catch up on everything from ambulance rides and college move-out day to porch geese, peptides, protein goals, and why neither of them can pretend to care about the World Cup anymore.

Melissa shares the story behind her recent car accident (and the surprisingly attractive ambulance crew), while Cynthia relives her own ambulance horror story involving a stretcher apparently designed for someone much smaller than either of them.

They also compare notes on life with college kids home for the summer, including questionable fashion choices, suspiciously healthy savings accounts, and the sudden realization that their children now have better electronics, better clothes, and possibly better lives than they do. 😂😂😂

Along the way they discuss moving crews for dorm rooms, porch goose culture, Little House on the Prairie, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, lip flips, jelly shoes, hair perfume, outdoor furniture covers, and Melissa's plan to one day travel to Turkey for a facelift.

But beneath all the laughter is a meaningful conversation about gratitude. Melissa shares a simple phrase that has been challenging her lately: We are rich. Not because of what's in the bank account, but because of all the gifts God has already given us.

Come laugh with us. Summer is weird, our kids are grown, and apparently we're now at the age where facelifts and peptides are legitimate conversation topics.

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All things Cynthia

Melissa’s Website

Chicken-Fried Women by Melissa Radke