The Art of We

33. The One Question All Couples Must Ask


Listen Later

We’re revisiting our first episode to take a look at one of the foundational principles that supports our relationship. We reflect on what's different about our partnership compared to previous ones and unpack the juicy conversation we had on our first date. 

Because we’re so committed to a very clear and explicit purpose within our relationship, we skipped the first-date small talk and got right into our vision. We were open about what we wanted to be up to as a couple, which ultimately provided a sense of validation, orientation, and collaboration. We continue to come back to this core question, especially during moments of conflict and disconnection, 

When was the last time (if ever) you and your partner talked explicitly about what you’re up to together? Why are you together? Where is your relationship going? These might feel like big questions to bring up, but they provide the roadmap for getting out of those stuck places and building a relationship that feels really aligned. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

  • Where we came up with guiding question we use to discuss the course of our relationship 
  • How we individually got clear on what we desired in a partnership 
  • Embracing the challenge of living authentically
  • Why a commitment to personal growth is so important for this type of collaboration
  • Bumping up against childhood patterning and wounding 

Resources Mentioned: 

  • The Art Of We Weekly Newsletter
  • The Relationship School Podcast - Episode 166. Evolutionary Love with Andrew Harvey 


Get in Touch: 

  • The Art Of We Website
  • The Art of We Instagram 
  • Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training


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The Art of WeBy Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

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