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In this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Hosts Patrick Cloud  and Tahir Moore break down the wildest real internet stories you couldn’t make up if you tried. From a Florida woman arrested with drugs in a bag labeled “Definitely Not Drugs,” to a man who panicked and cut off his own finger after a snake bite that wasn’t even venomous, the chaos is nonstop.

We also get into:
Internet icebreakers gone wrong
Dating honesty that went way too far
Canceling plans, food discipline, and pizza relapse
Rubber duck mind games that made a cleaner quit
Theme park tragedy and real-life consequences
Why social media might actually be frying our brains

00:00 Cold Open: Diets, Bone Broth, and Anchovy Trauma
04:41 Politics, Fear, and Feeling “Too Adult”
11:08 If You Had to Leave the Country Right Now…
14:53 Icebreaker Chaos: When to Say the Truth
20:26 Getting Kicked Out Mid-Hookup (Twice)
24:42 Canceling Plans vs Getting Canceled On
28:18 Food Discipline, Pizza Relapse, and Aging
31:15 Ad Break: Mint Mobile (50% Off Unlimited)
37:08 Social Media Addiction & Celebrity Overexposure
42:08 Florida Woman Arrested With “Definitely Not Drugs”
44:38 Cleaner Quits After Rubber Duck Scavenger Hunt
50:22 Woman Dies on Universal Studios Ride
55:09 Man Cuts Off Finger After Snake Bite Panic
58:14 Final Thoughts + Tour Dates + Outro

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