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It’s often said that relationships are like mirrors that magnify what’s happening beneath the surface, and recognizing attachment styles is one of the greatest ways to use that mirror. In this episode, we look at ambivalent attachment, or as psychologist Stan Tatkin refers to it, the “Wave” attachment style.
The typical core injuries of “Wavy” people include receiving reward from a caregiver for being dependent or experiencing inconsistent levels of soothing. These patterns can lead to hyper-vigilance about the security of a relationship and often result in a willingness to do anything for it, even at the expense of one's needs or desires.
“Wavy” folks tend to place responsibility on their partner for feeling sufficiently loved rather than co-creating a secure relationship. This is where the “what are we up to as a couple” question comes in handy to collaborate on building a safe, fulfilling relationship. In our conversation, we summarize how Stan Tatkin suggests couples move towards a “two can do better than one” perspective.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.
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Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
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It’s often said that relationships are like mirrors that magnify what’s happening beneath the surface, and recognizing attachment styles is one of the greatest ways to use that mirror. In this episode, we look at ambivalent attachment, or as psychologist Stan Tatkin refers to it, the “Wave” attachment style.
The typical core injuries of “Wavy” people include receiving reward from a caregiver for being dependent or experiencing inconsistent levels of soothing. These patterns can lead to hyper-vigilance about the security of a relationship and often result in a willingness to do anything for it, even at the expense of one's needs or desires.
“Wavy” folks tend to place responsibility on their partner for feeling sufficiently loved rather than co-creating a secure relationship. This is where the “what are we up to as a couple” question comes in handy to collaborate on building a safe, fulfilling relationship. In our conversation, we summarize how Stan Tatkin suggests couples move towards a “two can do better than one” perspective.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Topics Covered:
Resources Mentioned:
Get in Touch:
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
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