This week I will be joined by my colleague and friend Jesse MacBeth. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Pennsylvania. You can find Jessie at www.abetterlifetherapy.com

Today’s Question: I have been trying to get my feelings back for my partner for about two years. Do you have any advice?

Answer: This is a very complex question. You are asking this question and not simply leaving the relationship. I would like to know if anything has changed. What are the dynamics now? Is there a bigger item at the root of this? How much is the other person involved? Have you let your partner do all the work hoping to rekindle those feelings? Also, how were things in the beginning? What were the feelings like? 

Usually it seems that people are looking for the same feelings they had at the beginning. Has there been a betrayal of trust? Has there been a major shift in the relationship? Were you super excited and they were luke warm? 

What does it mean to have feelings in a long term relationship? In the beginning these feelings are usually fueled by hormones and they do not last forever. Real life does allow those hormonal surges to last forever. 

Have you lost feelings truly? You are still here two years later, why? I would be curious why you haven't ended it? Is this that you miss the feelings of the honeymoon phase? Are you simply feeling lonely?

Consider this, do you want to be the one making the effort or do you want your partner? Try to start by asking the question, what is the balance here? 

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Producers: Jason Seagraves & Margot Carmichael.  

Audio Editing: Revision Sound.

Music: Gramoscope Music. 

Show Notes by: Brett Burris

Executive Producers: Elizabeth Earnshaw, Dana Brunetti & Keegan Rosenberger. 

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