Deliberate self connection in the service of partnership is a practice that deeply serves our relationship. When we commit taking time to ourselves we can do the inner work of discovering what’s inside us at deeper levels. When we are in more touch ourselves below the surface layers, we can share ourselves more fully with our partners, creating a connection together that penetrates into a deeper, more present state of mind, heart, and soul, and that disrupts the surface level connection that can become habitual when living busy and full lives.

In this episode, we share the negative impacts on our relationship when we are not intentionally taking solo time away from one another and away from external distractions. We share the importance of appreciating and naming our different needs around solo time and also our different styles of processing our experience. When we don’t lean into this practice of solo time, our nervous systems are more easily dysregulated and younger parts of ourselves tend to show up and steal the show. 

Lastly, we share how we’ve invested effort in navigating what can come up relationally when we stand for our individual needs, including working through the fear that our partner may experience when we take time to ourselves. We include our specific practices that help us stay connected to ourselves so we can more fully show up for each other, and truly live into “We can do more than I can” together.

If this episode sparked any interesting conversations, or inspired a topic request for future episodes, we’d love to hear from you. Share them with us at kristavanderveer.com. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

• Our heartfelt prayers for those impacted by the Maui fires
• Why we need solo time to have a healthy & meaningful connection together
• What taking specific deliberate time to connect with ourselves looks like
• The negative impacts on our relationship when we don’t take time to ourselves regularly
• Our individual approaches for deeper self connection 
• Uncomfortable feelings that may come up when we choose to take time alone 
• An invitation to check in with your self connection, and then ask the same of your partner 

Resources Mentioned:

• Books by Stan Tatkin

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.