May 02, 2025

48. What I’d tell my 20-something self:

50 minutes

I’ve been asked this question twice this week: “What would you tell your 20-something self?” And I get why people ask. Those years are full of decisions, confusion, stretching, and becoming. Looking back, I can honestly say I’m proud of the life I’ve built—flawed, beautiful, and shaped deeply by grace. A lot of my growth came through my insecurities, fears, and missteps, but also through leaning into God’s presence and learning to trust His process over my own.

So here’s what I’d say if I could sit across from my younger self over coffee:

You’re exactly where you need to be.

You don’t need to be further along. Stop chasing your imagined timeline and be present in your season. Everything you’re walking through is shaping you in ways you can’t yet see.

Prioritize your secret place with God.

Make space for stillness. Get used to quiet. Learn to be anchored in His presence now, not just when you’re desperate. That connection will carry you through more than you realize.

Stop doing so much. Learn how to just be.

You’ve gotten really good at performing and producing. But being—resting, receiving, slowing down—that’s where real transformation happens. Don’t wait until burnout to learn it.

God will exceed your expectations.

You can’t plan your way into the life God has for you. It’s going to be more than you can imagine—stretching, surprising, and better than what you would’ve written for yourself.

Tell the truth.

Silence might feel safer, but it will eat away at you over time. Say the hard things. Be honest—with yourself and with others. That’s where healing begins.

Your dreams will come to life.

Not always in the timeline or form you expect, but they’ll unfold—bit by bit, often through pain and process. Stay open to how they show up.

Deal with the beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

“I’m not enough.” “I don’t have what it takes.” “I am what I do.” These are lies that sound like truth. Start confronting them now so they don’t dictate your decisions later.

Learn how to cook—and enjoy it.

It’s not just about food. It’s about slowing down, nourishing yourself, and learning rhythms that bring peace. You’ll thank yourself later.

Wear sunscreen.

You’re not invincible. You don’t need to prove anything to the sun. Take care of your skin—it’s not superficial; it’s stewardship.

Invest in your friendships.

Not the convenient ones, the real ones. These people will become your support system when life gets heavy. Nurture those relationships now. They’ll be a safe place when you need one most.

If I could sum it all up: You don’t need to have it all figured out. Just keep showing up, keep telling the truth, stay grounded in who God is, and trust that the story unfolding is far more meaningful than the one you’re trying to control.

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By Chantelle Nelson

4.9

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