In the spring of 2011, I was cleaning a stove and quite suddenly the knob I was holding became the rag became my hand became the space became the stove as all lines between things between moments and between myself and the world dissolved. It was like the scales had fallen off my eyes! I had heard of no self but had never heard there were no things!

There was an intense psychological and physical relaxation, and I was amazed that my body didn't crumble to the floor! It was obvious that there was no one doing life, and that life wasn't happening to a me. It was the end of a lifetime propelled by hope and fear and need of a never arising next. It was as if time died. It was as if I had died, yet it was obvious that I had never existed, yet here I was!

This knowing feeling of seamlessness has not left for almost eight years.  It is always obvious... it kisses me awake in the morning and holds me as I drift off to sleep.... life is overwhelmingly beautiful and wondrous always, like edgeless liquid love.... no matter what it looks or feels like.

The longing to sing of this, knowing that it cannot be kissed with words paints my reflection with sky in sky.... I am not a teacher or guru, simply a lover of love.

Nancy's posts and poems (blog)

YouTube Channel

Books:

To Kiss What Cannot Be Kissed...: Love songs from the canyon

Liquid Eyes

This Is It, Coyote

Your Infinite Intimate Embrace: you have never left

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Summary and transcript of this interview

Interview recorded April 13, 2019.

YouTube Video Chapters:

00:00:00 - Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump

00:05:06 - A Journey of Seeking and Glimpses

00:10:01 - The Search for the Elusive Goal

00:14:32 - The Terrifying Experience of Losing Beliefs

00:18:56 - The Burning of Personal Armageddon

00:23:35 - The Nature of Belief and Unknowing

00:28:42 - The Astonishing Nature of the Known World

00:33:30 - The Shift in Perception

00:38:00 - The Illusion of Separation and Thingness

00:42:20 - The Dream of Separation

00:46:47 - The Illusion of Separation in the Physical World

00:51:43 - The Unity of the House

00:57:01 - Life Doing Itself

01:00:45 - The Wholeness of the Universe

01:03:12 - The Shared Dream of Separation

01:06:19 - The Sword of Ignorance

01:09:41 - The Illusion of Self

01:13:24 - The Fear of False Evidence Appearing Real

01:18:10 - The Perception of an Actor

01:20:54 - Starting a Podcast & Creating a Website

01:24:13 - Awareness without perception

01:28:26 - Awareness in Deep Sleep

01:33:15 - Discussion on Paintings and Posters

01:36:23 - The Frustration of Seeking and Inner Transformation

01:40:29 - The Role of Spiritual Practices

01:44:55 - The Intensity of Desire and Love in Spiritual Practice

01:49:29 - The Co-dependency of the Seeker and the Teacher

01:53:23 - Embracing our Humanness

01:56:29 - Embracing the Flow of Thought and Emotion

01:59:53 - A Gentle Conversation

02:02:11 - Conclusion and Farewell