Welcome to the 2018 midterms, which will never ever #%$&ing end.

Light up a fat one in honor of the nation’s most reviled Keebler Elf, Jeff Sessions.

Podcast friends! Check out the podcast Other People’s Lives for the inside scoop on being a 40-year-old virgin, a ghost hunter, and much more.

The good: over 1 million Floridians had voting rights re-instated, over 100 women were elected to congress, Democrats took control of the House, the first openly gay governor was elected in Colorado, and the Beto effect trickled down to the state level.

The bad (and expected): Republicans maintain control of the Senate, Democrats already infighting about Nancy Pelosi, and several key races still too close to call.

The ugly: Voter suppression in Georgia, Trump White House bans Jim Acosta, and with Jeff Sessions fired, Trump has a new lapdog overseeing the Mueller investigation.

In The Spin Room, Trump, Huckabee-Sanders, and Conway make appearances to defend the President’s post-midterm rhetoric.

We take out the Mailbag and touch on some of your questions: outsider funding for elections, vegetarianism, NaNoWriMo, and gay bath houses.

This week’s episode is sponsored by SquareSpace (use offer code MILL) and Policy Genius - support the show by supporting these companies!

The Number returns with a midterms edition! How much student loan debt could have been paid off with the amount spent on this election?

We Surprise Bitch three listeners. Two pick up the phone, and one gets an interesting voicemail from Andrew.

Laura gets some intel on where in Canada she can move to (she’s sort of not kidding).