Oh sweet surrender! Whether it’s gristly doom or erotic orgasm, the buildup of tension and release is universal to pleasure, and that is why I put on my special black spandex outfit for you today. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, cough...

We’re thrilled to present 50 Shades of Halloween: sexy gay tales of terror complete with monsters, ghosts, murderers, zombies, all downright evil bitches, read to you by some of our favorite guests.

There’s more than enough tricks and treats to get you into the Halloween spirit.

Listen as Joshua Grannell, who by night crawls the world as Peaches Christ, performs a story about a frustrated queen with a poltergeist in her booty.

Comedian Brian Sweeney, a big fan of the TV show Supernatural, no homo, reads a tale of slash fiction between the show’s brothers (and sometimes lovers.)

And the hillbillylicious Dwayne Speaks entertains us with a tale of two twinks at at a Halloween party that are confronted by a zombie drag queen.

Plus, how do you make love to a man that’s a true beast, and what lies at the other end of the glory hole?

Gather around the campfire as we tell tales that will make the hairs on your body stand on end.

50 SHADES OF HALLOWEEN, THE STORIES:

• Wolfwood – Written and Read by Marc Felion

• Revenge of the Glory Hole – Written and Read by Keith Ecker.

• The Picture Taker – Read by Fausto Fernós, Written by Marc Felion

• Hot Breath – Written and Read By Zach Lamm

• Mother, I Accidentally Put a Ghost In My Butt – Read by Joshua Grannell, Written by Marc Felion

• Dil-Don’t – Written and Read by Marc Felion

• Zombie Twinks- Written by John Ashton, Read by Dwayne Speaks

• Supernatural Goes Wild – Read By Brian Sweeney, Written by Marc Felion and Brian Sweeney