“This is going to be a pretty dark interview… with suicide, Islamic dreaming, jihad… it may get a little dark. But anyhow, it is what it is, I guess. Welcome to my life.”

There you have it — straight from Ben himself. Hard to top an introduction like that. But I will add this: beneath all the darkness Ben deeply cares. And despite the weight of the conversation, we shared a lot of laughs too.

Ben Pendleton was born into a family deeply affected by mental illness — and as he openly shares, he didn’t quite dodge that bullet himself either. As we discover, his love of religion and inner spiritual struggle have helped him make meaning of his own suffering, his sibling’s, and others’.

Ben served in the United States Marine Corps, reported from Afghanistan during the Soviet-Afghan War in 1983, and in 1991 photographed and interviewed legendary Afghan resistance commander Ahmad Shah Massoud. Ben introduced me to a side of Islam, poetry, and the Middle East I likely never would have explored on my own.

As Ben says, afterward he went back to working construction — “boringly, scraping paint.” Well… I’m not sure I quite buy that. You can decide for yourself.

I feel genuinely lucky to bring Ben’s story, and in many ways the parts of ourselves we often wrestle with most, to you.

Welcome to Episode 51.

Check Out:

Ben’s page: The Use of Dreams in Islamic Jihad (@benyameenp)

Caleb’s Café: 583 Hawk Mountain Road, Kempton, PA (normally open Saturdays 8am–2pm)

Book Recs & Related Material:

Massoud: An Intimate Portrait of the Legendary Afghan Leader — Marcela Grad

To the Mountains: My Life in Jihad from Algeria to Afghanistan — Abdullah Anas

The Dream in Islam: From Qur’anic Tradition to Jihadist Inspiration — Iain R. Edgar

Surah Yusuf (Qur’an, Chapter 12) 

“Song of the Bow” (David’s lament for Saul) 

New Church Writings

Arcana Coelestia (full text archive) - see numbers 1975-1983

Arcana Coelestia (Elliott), AC 5091

Spiritual Experiences (#8) 

The Heavenly City, A Spiritual Guidebook #269

Divine Providence 326

Elevate the Experience

Help bring better audio, video, and filmed episodes to life: Venmo. I tithe 10% of all contributions—half to the All Secure Foundation (supporting soldiers’ transition home) and half to the Academy of the New Church High School.

Stay Connected

Contact: https://ethanclewin.com/

A Note from Me

I’m inspired by the stories people carry, the power of honest feedback, and the magic that happens when creative minds connect. If you’re a brand interested in partnering, let’s talk: LinkedIn.

Thanks for being part of this journey—PEACE!