Most so-called “high conflict” divorces are not what people think they are.

The term suggests two volatile adults locked in mutual chaos. But in a significant subset of cases, what looks like dysregulation is strategic. It is controlled, reputationally aware, and often concealed behind the language of concern, therapy, and child wellbeing.

In this episode, I examine how some separations become arenas for status repair and control after narcissistic injury. Drawing on trait-based personality psychology — particularly the Dark Tetrad — I outline why diagnostic psychiatry and family courts frequently misread these dynamics, and why well-intentioned interventions can unintentionally strengthen them.

If you have lived through this, you will recognise the pattern.If you are trying to understand why standard advice keeps failing, this will clarify why.

Free material is about recognizing patterns. The paid tier exists for a different purpose: applying that understanding to real situations. Psychobabble Insiders are invited to take part in live clinical case sessions twice a month, so join us this Saturday for a “How-To” on anxiety.

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