Welcome back to To Hump A Pillow! We're kicking off Season 4, our 20 episode season with episode #60 — on dating apps.

When most of us think about dating apps, we roll our eyes at the thought of what a task that can be. “Dating apps suck” — a common refrain from most of my clients. I've said those word myself! What if the app isn’t the problem? What if you’re the problem?   I’ve always wanted to do an episode about dating apps, and now I’ve got the data and experience (my own and from clients) to create meaningful content around this topic.    In this episode I’ve brought my boyfriend of 6 months, Mike, to discuss our experiences of dating apps — the different intentions for getting on dating apps over the course of our dating journeys, including before we met, our experience of meeting on Hinge, and how using dating apps felt after being in long term relationships. Lastly, I’ll walk through my dating app framework I use with clients who are single, thinking about dating, new to a relationship or just wanting to explore hook ups.   Dating App Framework:

1. intention: what part of me wants to download a dating app? what part of me is holding me back from trying dating apps?
2. profile creation: what meaningful and authentic stuff can I put out there?
3. swiping considerations: what parameters do you have in place for swiping? what red flags are you looking for? what green flags?
4. communications and boundaries: how do want to protect your time and energy by setting boundaries on communications? how long do you want to talk on the app until there's a sense of trust built? when is the right time to meet up?

This framework is mostly geared toward people with an anxious-attachment style, historically quick to have sex, and often attract emotionally immature partners, people that are only physically attractive (vanity-based dating), or emotionally unavailable partners. 

Coach Ellen Melon links:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

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