The Art of We

8. Top-Shelf Listening (+ Our Edgy Example)


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One of the greatest gifts we can give somebody is to generously listen to them. When we tune in for the contribution, value, or lesson of what someone is saying, we create a new level of commitment and presence.

So often, people compose their responses while the other person is talking. Instead of listening with curiosity and intention, we put up unconscious filters and get distracted. By practicing generous listening, you can open up more possibilities and deeper understanding in your conversations. In this episode, we work through a live example of an emotionally-charged topic to demonstrate how generous listening provides space for vulnerable, restorative discussions. 

We also look at this methodology through the lens of parenthood, especially with teenagers and young adults. We explore the profound impact that generous listening has had on our relationship and our ability to assume positive intent with each other. Listen in to learn more about taking yourself off autopilot and becoming a more present listener. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

  • Examples of listening filters that we have 
  • Tuning into the physical and emotional cues that you need to listen generously
  • Where Krista has found some of the greatest insights and gems in this practice
  • Taking responsibility for the impact of your listening 
  • What to do when you get distracted in a conversation 
  • Recognizing when you’re being a stingy listener 

Resources Mentioned

  • Download our “3 Game Changing Conversations For Couples” guide at kristavanderveer.com 
  • Learn more about The Collaborative Way 

Get in Touch: 

  • Art of We website
  • Art of We Instagram 
  • Integrative Psychiatry Institute
  • Krista’s Instagram
  • Will’s Instagram


Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. 

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The Art of WeBy Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

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