It's natural and healthy to aspire to things like having more equanimity, being more generous, and overcoming negative habits – and, in fact, such aspiration is part of the Buddhist path. However, when we encounter aspects of ourselves that are difficult to change, we may be tempted to wage war on ourselves. This is not only counterproductive, it's incompatible with our own aspirations. I'll outline five steps to working on positive changes in your thoughts and behavior without waging war on the self.