A Court of Tattoos and Rosé

Dorian and Celaena twirl the night away at the Yulemas Ball while Chaol watches from the sidelines. The night ends with an interesting (or awkward depending on how you read it) kiss. The next day, Kaltain and Caitlyn’s Duke take a stroll in the steamy greenhouse and plan Celaena’s demise…how romantic. After reading a truly disturbing how-to guide, Celaena takes a fun trip down to the tunnels and finds Cain casually summoning a friend.

Everyone buckle in because we are in for a wild, dramatic visit with Elain’s former betrothed. What could go wrong? The simple answer is a lot. Turns out the whole “disguise Elain as a human” trick was pointless because everyone’s favorite eye accessory, aka Jurian, has spilled the beans already. Apparently Jurian has been playing double agent against Hybern. What’s his endgame? To apologize to Miryam and Drakon. How honorable, but sad, is that? Graysen gets what he deserves and the Inner Circle prepares for battle…yet again.

This week, Feyre puts on her high lady pants and she gets yet another dope tattoo! This one comes from a new bargain with the Darling of Darkness in order to entice Bryaxis to fight in the war. All in exchange for a single window, how freaking pure is that?! The Inner Circle (plus Elain and Nesta) go to the Illyrian war camps for a quick, not so great, check-in. While there, they prep for the meeting with Grayson and his family to see if they will offer shelter for the humans in their insane fortress.

The tense atmosphere in Thesan’s gorgeous palace following the High Lords’ meeting (and some extracurricular activities) makes for a very awkward breakfast which turns truly insane when Nesta becomes violently ill. Lesson learned: listen to Nesta when she says she has a bad feeling (Han Solo style). Hybern has destroyed the Wall. The gang debates how best to help the humans when Elain decides to finally speak up…and Blake hates every word of it. Feyre enlists Amren to help see about breaking out the Darling of Darkness and we can’t wait!

We are back with the epic conclusion to the High Lords’ meeting. Feyre does what we have all wanted to do for a while now…she puts Beron in his lowly, miserable place. Helion crashes the Inner Circle’s meeting in their suite and, in true Helion fashion, suggests a party that we would love to be invited to. He also opens up about his past with the Lady of the Autumn Court which leads Feyre to a startling truth. Do we think Prythian has 23andMe?

Celaena, the most feared assassin in all of Erilea, has to deal with every woman’s nemesis. Her two suitors have VERY different reactions to her situation, one races away like Roadrunner and the other settles in to read some erotica. After some quiet reading time, Dorian reveals some deep truths about his own actions and his hope for his future rule. The Prince and Celaena enjoy a romantic but cold walk through the gardens where Dorian notices Celaena’s eerily familiar necklace. After a terrifying bedtime surprise, Celaena takes a midnight stroll to the library only to get another unsettling surprise.