A Jaded Gay

Many of us have experienced “gay loneliness” from growing up gay in a straight society. We can feel isolated from our straight peers and even members of our community. But what happens when we feel that same sense of loneliness in a romantic relationship?

In this episode, my friend, Jordan Nofziger, joins us to discuss overcoming loneliness in a relationship and recognizing our inner strength to make our own happiness.

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It’s the most dreaded time of the year for single people.

In this episode, we’re talking through the pressures of Valentine’s Day and how we can celebrate the holiday by loving ourselves.

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In previous episodes, we discussed how being vulnerable in a relationship can trigger feelings of anxiety since it threatens longstanding psychological defenses formed to avoid emotional pain and rejection. So if we go through a breakup, we can feel alone and lose ourselves.

In this episode, Sara Sabatino joins us to talk through the realization of a relationship's end, moving on from a breakup, and finding yourself.

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Previously, we discussed how growing up gay can impact our attachment styles when it comes to dating. Unsurprisingly, gay men who were denied affection and emotional support from their caregivers may develop an avoidant attachment type in adulthood and have a harder time getting intimate with others.

In this episode, we’re taking a look at how our upbringing affects our emotional availability as gay men, identifying signs of emotional unavailability in a partner, and how we can allow ourselves to begin opening up to others.

Additional Resources:

• How to Spot Emotional Unavailability: 5 Signs
• Emotionally Unavailable Definition
• 15. Understanding Attachment Styles
• All About Avoidant Personality Disorder
• Are Men Really Less Emotionally Available Than Women?
• Emotionally Unavailable: What It Means & 15 Signs to Look For
• What It Really Means to Be Emotionally Unavailable
• Emotionally Unavailable: What It Means, Signs, & What to Do About It
• 10 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Man
• Do You Choose Mean Gay Guys?
• Why You End Up With Emotionally Unavailable Men (And What to Do About It)
• 14 Signs You're an Emotionally Unavailable Gay Man

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Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men.

In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with none other than…Donna Summer. Known as the Queen of Disco, Donna is the fourteenth greatest female soloist of all time (according to Billboard) and certainly left her mark on the disco scene.

Additional Resources:

• 19. The Queer History of Disco
• Why Disco Should Be Taken Seriously
• 04. Pop Icons and Their Gay Emotional Appeal
• Summer Fans, Some Are Not
• Exclusive: Donna Summer Denied Making Antigay Remarks That Hurt Her Career
• Donna Summer Denied Anti-Gay Remarks and HIV/AIDS Statements in 1989 ACT UP Letter
• Read Donna Summer’s Never-Before-Published 1989 Letter to ACT UP
• Gay Icons: The Queen of Disco Playlist

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Even though we may have had similar upbringings compared to our straight peers, members of the LGBTQ+ community still tend to carry trauma from growing up differently.

In this encore episode, my sister, Amy Loveless, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we date, generational differences regarding LGBTQ+ visibility, and dating intentionally.

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Even though we may have had similar upbringings compared to our straight peers, members of the LGBTQ+ community still tend to carry trauma from growing up differently.

In this episode, my sister, Michelle Loveless, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we date, generational differences regarding LGBTQ+ visibility, and living authentically.

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As gay men, many of us have had to repress our authentic selves and hide our emotions because of negativity we may have experienced growing up differently. Among the myriad of issues this can cause, some of us may not trust acts of kindness from others.

In this episode, we’re discussing why we may be guarded when it comes to receiving acts of kindness, the struggles this can cause when forming a romantic relationship, and how we can ultimately learn to begin accepting kindness.

Additional Resources:

• Trauma Makes Us Shun Kindness When We Need It Most
• 05. Interpersonal Vulnerability: Overcoming the Fear of Rejection 
• Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?
• 5 Reasons Why Receiving Is Harder Than Giving
• How to Understand and Overcome Help-Rejecting Behavior
• Fears of Compassion: Development of Three Self-Report Measures
• 11. Overcoming Internalized Homophobia
• 30 Ways to Deal with Internalized Homophobia for LGBTQ People
• Be Kind to Yourself
• The Importance of Accepting Compliments
• How to Accept Kindness
• How I Learned to Accept Kindness — Because that Doesn’t Make Me Selfish

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As we approach the end of another year, we may reflect on the past – from relationships to career pursuits to personal matters. And while we may look to a new beginning, we must learn to let go so that we don’t carry negative situations with us.

In this episode, we’re discussing the motivating factors for obtaining closure, how we can give others closure, and how we can create our own.

Additional Resources:

• Defining Closure Psychology
• The Need For Closure Scale (NFCS)
• The Need for Closure Scale (NFCS) Questionnaire
• Why We Need Closure From Broken Relationships
• How to Get Closure After a Breakup

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In previous episodes, we discussed the importance of LGBTQ+ characters in TV and film and how being our authentic selves can manifest true representation in the media. As part of this increase in LGBTQ+ portrayals, Christmas movies have begun featuring gay characters and storylines.

In this episode, we’re taking a look at some of my favorite gay Christmas movies, which include furry handcuffs, awkward family dynamics, and holiday setups.

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