A Jaded Gay

While the holiday season is typically viewed as a joyful time, the pressure of gift-giving, traveling, and spending time with loved ones can cause stress. For the LGBTQ+ community, this time of year can also serve as a reminder of their strained relationships with family, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

In this episode, we’re navigating the LGBTQ+ community’s complicated relationship with the holidays and discussing tips to get through these difficult times.

Additional Resources:

• Holiday Stress - American Psychological Association
• Holidays Exacerbate Depression in LGBTQ+ Community
• Holidays Can Exacerbate Depression Among LGBT People
• Why Some LGBTQ People Feel Especially Stressed at the Holidays — and Seven Things They Can Do About It
• Five Tips for LGBTQ People on Surviving Holiday Depression
• LGBT and Heading Home for the Holidays?
• Holidays Are Not Happy for Many LGBTQ+ People
• Eight Queer Tips to Get Through The Holidays
• Navigating Awkward LGBTQI Holidays
• Five Holiday Tips for LGBTQ People in Recovery

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Since 1984, the gay best friend has been a staple character in movies and TV, often being portrayed as sexless and sassy. However, this stereotype—while often thought to be innocent—can actually be harmful and damaging.

In this episode, we discuss the origins of the gay best friend trope and cover the negative impact it can have on gay men.

Additional Resources:

• Gay Best Friend (Urban Dictionary)
• A History of the Gay Best Friend in Film and TV
• Gay Best Friend: A Letter to Straight People from the 'GBF'
• Just Because I’m Gay Doesn’t Mean I Want to Be Your Sidekick
• How to Find Your Gay Best Friend
• The Evolution of the Gay Best Friend in Romantic Comedies
• The “Trans Best Friend” is Hollywood’s Hottest New Accessory

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For gay men, humor has played a central role in their resiliency and helped get them through tough times. However, one form of humor, self-deprecating, can become a problem and may actually signify deeper issues.

In this episode, we’re discussing the role self-esteem and humor play as a coping mechanism for stressful emotions, signs that our self-deprecating jokes may be negatively impacting how we view ourselves, and how we can break this cycle.

Additional Resources:

• Self-Deprecating Definition
• Self-Deprecating Humor
• Self-Depreciation: Why Do We Do It?
• Making Sense of Self-Esteem
• Humor as a Coping Mechanism
• How Camp and Gallows Humor Keep Us Alive and Resilient
• The Gay Humorist as Public Man
• Being Humorous & Seeking Diversion: Promoting Healthy Coping Skills Among LGBTQ+ Youth
• Is the Use of Humor Associated with Anger Management? The Assessment of Individual Differences in Humor Styles in Spain
• When Does Self-Deprecating Humor Become Detrimental?

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From social media to cover models, society has an obsession with body image, which we all struggle with. But for gay men, our bodies tend to be objectified and labeled to define our worth.

In this episode, we’re discussing why gay men tend to obsess over their bodies, the negative impacts this has had on our physical and mental health, and how we can treat ourselves and our bodies with kindness.

Additional Resources:

• What are Eating Disorders?
• Eating Disorder Statistics
• Gay Men and Body Image: What You Need to Know
• The Mental Health Issues Gay Men Deal With
• Why Do So Many Gay and Bisexual Men Struggle With Body Image?
• The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Body Obsession
• Body Image Satisfaction in Heterosexual, Gay, and Lesbian Adults
• Body Dysmorphic Disorder
• Body Dysmorphia in Gay Men
• Higher Rates of Body Dissatisfaction in Gay Men Leading to a Rise in Cosmetic Surgery
• The Gay Men Risking Their Health for the Perfect Body
• It Gets Better, Unless You're Fat

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The term gaydar, a colloquialism referring to the intuitive ability of a person to assess another’s sexual orientation, has been thrown around casually in the media and among the gay community. However, is there any truth to this concept?

In this episode, we take a look at the early origins of gaydar, the science behind the phenomenon, and how advancements in technology may be able to identify a person’s sexual orientation from a photo.

Additional Resources

• Gaydar Definition (Urban Dictionary)
• Gaydar Definition (Green's Dictionary of Slang)
• What is Gaydar? Does it Work Like Other Gay Dating Apps, and Can I Join for Free?
• Detection of Sexual Orientation by Heterosexuals and Homosexuals
• Accuracy of Judgments of Sexual Orientation from Thin Slices of Behavior
• Gaydar: Visual Detection of Sexual Orientation Among Gay and Straight Men
• The Science of “Gaydar”: How Well Can We Detect Other People’s Sexual Orientation?
• The Truth About "Gaydar"
• Inferences About Sexual Orientation: The Roles of Stereotypes, Faces, and the Gaydar Myth
• Deep Neural Networks are More Accurate Than Humans at Detecting Sexual Orientation from Facial Images
• This Psychologist’s "Gaydar" Research Makes Us Uncomfortable. That’s the Point.
• The Invention of AI "Gaydar" Could be the Start of Something Much Worse
• Gaydar (2002)
• Gaydar (2013)

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In America, there has been a decrease in the number of teenagers who’ve received formalized sex education over the years. And for LGBTQ+ youth, inclusive sex education is practically nonexistent.

In this episode, we’re taking a look at the current state of sex education in America, the lack of inclusive education for LGTQ+ youth, and how we can be advocates for inclusive, formalized sex education.

Additional Resources:

• The State of Sex Education in America in 2022
• The 2019 National School Climate Survey
• Let's Talk About (Queer) Sex: The Importance of LGBTQ-inclusive Sex Education in Schools
• Including LGBT-Content in Sex Education: Four Wrong Ways (and One Right One)
• A Call to Action: LGBTQ Youth Need Inclusive Sex Education
• Planned Parenthood
• Advocates for Youth
• SIECUS

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At the start of a romantic relationship, it’s exciting to receive positive affirmations and affection from your partner. However, if this affection becomes exaggerated and excessive, it can lead to a manipulative cycle of abuse.

In this episode, we look into what love bombing is, common red flags, and how to heal after being love bombed.

Additional Resources:

• Love Bombing (Psychology Today)
• Spotting Narcissistic Love Bombing: What It Is — and Isn’t
• Idealize, Devalue, Discard: The Dizzying Cycle of Narcissism
• What Is ‘Love Bombing’?
• What to Know About 'Love Bombing,' the Trend That's Ruining Dating for Everyone
• What is Love Bombing? 11 Ways to Spot this Relationship Red Flag
• Empath Definition
• 'Love Bombing': What It Is, Why It's Dangerous, and How to Protect Yourself

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The history of horror goes back more than 250 years and has depicted queer themes since its origins. From Frankenstein to Freddy Krueger, horror has always been queer.

In this episode, we’re taking a look at the history of the horror genre, queer coded representation in horror literature and film, and modern-day depictions of queer characters.

Additional Resources:

• Britannica - Horror Story
• Gothic Literature
• The History of Horror is Gay
• Guessing the Mould: Homosocial Sins and Identity in Horace Walpole's The Castle of Otranto
• Queering Gothic in the Romantic Age
• The History of Horror is the History of Queerness
• Did Mary Shelley Lose Her Virginity on Her Mother’s Grave?
• Did Mary Shelley Keep Her Late Husband’s Heart?
• Famous Bis: Mary Shelley
• Lesbian Representation in the Vampire Classic Carmilla
• The Queer Life of Bram Stoker
• Out of the Shadow of ‘Nosferatu’
• A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2 Freddy's Revenge 1985 Film Clips I've Got The Brains
• The Nightmare Behind the Gayest Horror Film Ever Made
• Welcome to Our Nightmares: Behind the Scene with Today's Horror Actors
• Get Out: The Rise and Rise of Queer Horror
• 33 Essential LGBTQ+ Horror Movies
• Top 100 Gay Horror Films
• Eleftheria by Rob Loveless

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On October 8, 1998, a 21-year-old college student was picked up from a gay bar, tortured, and murdered because of his sexuality in a state that had no hate crime laws to protect him. More than twenty years later, we continue to remember his life and legacy.

In this episode, we discuss the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard, the United States’ reaction, and the impact this tragic event had in bringing about stricter hate crime legislation.

Additional Resources:

• Matthew Shepard
• Matthew Shepard, Victim of Anti-Gay Hate Crime, Dies
• Matthew Shepard: The Murder that Changed America
• Witnesses Trace Brutal Killing of Gay Student
• Beaten Gay Student Dies; Murder Charges Planned
• McKinney Gets Two Life Sentences
• Gay Murder Trial Ends With Guilty Plea
• Two Decades After Matthew Shepard's Death, LGBTQ Community Still Battles Hate Violence
• President Clinton During Departure Statement (1998) (Matthew Shepard)
• Celebrity Vigil For Matthew Shepard
• The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act / Matthew Shepard Act
• MatthewsPlace.com

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Many of us grew up knowing we were different than our peers, feeling like being “other” and fearing rejection at an early age. Therefore, it’s no surprise that gay men experience increased rates of anxiety compared to their straight peers.

In this episode, we’re taking a look at anxiety disorders, unique factors that negatively impact gay men’s mental health, and strategies we can implement to better manage our stress.

Additional Resources:

• National Alliance on Mental Illness: Anxiety Disorders
• Is There an Anxiety Epidemic?
• Understanding Anxiety and Depression for LGBTQ People
• The Mental Health Issues Gay Men Deal With
• 11. Overcoming Internalized Homophobia
• Anxiety Treatment Without Medication: Seven Holistic Ways to Cope
• When in Doubt, Shout It Out! Eight Drug-Free Ways to Battle Anxiety
• Just-Records: Dan Yost (Podcast Editor)
• Eleftheria by Rob Loveless

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