A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan

Episode: "897 - Gotta Know Where the Nozzles Are"

Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis | Guest: Ross McCoy (comedian, The Orlando Talk Show)

• Jeff's Bagel Run: Opening read. The hosts rave about the cannoli cream cheese (ricotta and mini chocolate chips) and the banana pudding spread, which they call top three. They also mention the hot sauce and chive and onion spreads (there's a vegan version), Otis coffee and seasonal drinks. The free app gives a free bagel at signup and earns points. Find locations at jeffsbagelrun.com.
• Just Call Moe / DeWitt Law: Studio name ("Injured on the Go, Just Call Moe Studio"). They plug Moe's free VIP program at justcallmoe.com, which comes with a metal card and invites to events.
• Streamline Florida (Brian): Mortgage read. Brian keeps clients on file and calls when a rate or program makes sense. A host's sister-in-law Alex saved thousands with him. His cell number is under the Tom & Dan logo at streamlineflorida.com, and listeners should say they're a Tom & Dan listener.
• Surfshark VPN: Tom & Dan deal through the link on tomanddan.com, with extra months from $2.39/month. Uses mentioned: picking a country to stream shows from abroad (Andrea watches a British show through BBC) and watching soccer like EPL and Serie A.

1. Cold open: "What's up" greetings. The hosts riff on the classic 2000s podcast greeting. Then they argue again over whether to keep saying their names at the top of every show, a fight that also came up on Love Thy Neighbor with Colette. Dan defends the intro as "fit and finish" and a sign of respect for the audience.
2. Ross's podcast plug. Ross promotes the new Orlando Talk Show episode with comedian Larry Fulford. They break down Moe's Comedy Jam, and Ross tells a darkly funny story about his dad calling to say he has prostate cancer.
3. Moe's Comedy Jam details. The show is tomorrow at the Funny Bone and benefits the Yellow Brick Road Foundation (YBRF.org). Moe's bowling tournament usually benefits Rosie's Adventures. Colette and Kentucky Steve are coming. The start time gets mixed up on air, and Dan realizes he gave Colette the wrong time.
4. Ross's celebrity fishing. Ross is staying at "the Wizard's House" tonight so he can go pompano fishing with Captain B in the morning, using Captain B's three-hook setup. After that he'll be at the weigh-in after-party at Mavericks in Satellite Beach.
5. Tom & Dan Cruise 2027 update. Bookings are reportedly on pace to beat cruises from "bigger" radio shows. Prices go up as room blocks sell out, and balcony rooms already went up $20. Ross compares it to mining Bitcoin.
6. Beerfest gift bag debate. Gift bags are back for the Bad at Business Beerfest. Ross pushes for totes, but Tom insists on tiny black printed plastic bags because sponsors pay for everything. The running "brain internet search" bit starts here. Sponsors and partners mentioned: Pinball Dudes (Andrew, the first-ever Beerfest sponsor) with two free-play pinball tents, Tactical Brewing (moving to a new location soon) and the Supervillains playing a free after-party at the West End. SJ in the chat asks whether Publix could sponsor the totes. Tom says they won't, citing his Publix manager contact.
7. Sofas & Suds. The Sanford Couch Races are the next day. All teams are set, Tom and Dan call the races, and the event is free and family- and dog-friendly.
8. Science Center Halloween party. At Tracy's request, they call it the best value in town: drinks, food, karaoke and demonstrations, which makes it a good date night. Tickets at OSC.org.
9. Passing on traits to kids. Tom says he "cursed" his sons with his genetics. Talk turns to dads kissing kids on the lips. Dan says his week alone with Maisie, while Andrea traveled for work, was one of the best of his life, even though his routine fell apart.
10. Kids and phones. Tom regrets giving his sons phones but says it's almost a social necessity. Dan is upgrading to the new folding iPhone Duo and promises a review next week.
11. Unanswered texts. Tom's mom, Marilyn Vann ("Mimi"), texted Max about 30 times without a reply. Max had seen the texts but never registered them. Chat parents (Tracy, Conway J) say their kids do the same. Tom admits he ignores small-talk texts, including Dan's, and finds emoji reactions passive-aggressive. Tom also tells how he hearted a listener's text about a racing simulator and the listener's girlfriend took it the wrong way.
12. The after-school recap. Whichever parent does school pickup (Krystal, in Tom's house) hears all about the day, and the other parent gets "good." Tom also complains that English class is now called "ELA."
13. Tommy's hero letter. Tommy's ELA assignment was a three-paragraph letter to his hero. Tom pictures getting a letter about his half marathons and imagines framing it. Instead, Tommy used the rule that a letter handed directly to your hero gets the same credit, told the teacher he had done that, and never wrote it. Tom blames himself for passing down a loophole-hunting brain.
14. Do the hosts have heroes? Tom says he never really had heroes. As a kid he probably would have named his dad or grandfather, or given whatever answer the teacher wanted.
15. HHN RIP tour recap. Ross went to Halloween Horror Nights with Moe's VIP group (24 people), and comedian and Comedy Jam alum Danielle Mathis was their guide. They skipped every line, an estimated 12 hours of waiting saved. Food review: the viral vegan pizza skull was just okay, the carnival smash tacos (a Big Mac-style taco) were a 10/10, and the chimichurri beef and curry chicken over mashed potatoes were also good.
16. House reviews, part 1. Ozzy Osbourne (Ross loved it; he says the Orlando house uses different albums than the Hollywood one), Evil Dead (okay), Caged Cannibals (a walrus-man character Ross mistook for his reflection in a mirror), the frozen-corpse future house (decent), Invasion: Alien Abduction (the one to skip, the same scare repeated over and over), Jack and Oddfellow (lots of jokes about the name) and Stranger Things (excellent even for a non-fan).
17. Skipping the line. Tom says he feels guilty being ushered past people waiting and would rather use a secret passage. Ross says he loved it, admits he's normally a "line waiter" and jokes about photographing the crowds stuck behind barricades.
18. Babies at HHN. Ross sat behind a woman with a sweating baby in a carrier in the 95-degree heat, and the baby's dad put in earplugs for himself only. Tom admits he once forgot to cover Tommy's ears during a cannon firing in St. Augustine. They agree babies should pay full price or be kept out.
19. Nightmare Fuel: Blood Noir. The show is a sexy vampire show at the Fear Factor stadium, and the RIP group was seated next to a runway into the crowd. Highlights: a sword swallower who licks the blade, does push-ups and rolls with the sword in, then screws corkscrew props through his nose and sinuses inches from the group. The audience gets sprayed with water many times, and Ross wants to know where the nozzles are, which gives the episode its title. Tom and Dan both say they dislike the phrase "nightmare fuel."
20. House reviews, part 2. Sinners (amazing and acted like a walk-through stage play; Tracy liked it least but got scared in it), the Pinhead meet-and-greet (Ross nearly knocked over the lighting rig), Hellraiser (Ross is a big Clive Barker fan; 10/10) and his overall favorite, the original house HR Blood and Guts, built around a 70s schlock filmmaker who escapes prison and introduces each room on TV, likely Mike Aiello's idea. They also note Jack the Clown is now a Fortnite skin. Ross ends with a plug for Moe's VIP program and promo code 10 at moecomedyjam.com.
21. Comedy Jam time check. After the break they confirm the time. A few versions get floated before they land on doors at 5, show at 6.
22. Feel-good videos and principals. Tom says he likes military homecoming surprise videos. Then he plays a clip of students faking a cafeteria fight to surprise their principal for his birthday. Tom says principals shouldn't be friends with students and recalls his feared high school principal, Dr. E. Daryl Dean. Other bits: Kristine and others in the chat question Tom's take, a Butler balloon callback, coaches as tough-but-loved figures, and Ross's annoyance at teachers memorizing custom handshakes for every student.
23. AI photos. Ross's AI-edited celebrity fishing photo gets roasted (Ryan in the chat called him a "non-union Mexican stuntman"). Ross credits Tom for commenting "AI" under an old real photo of Tom in clown makeup at a gas station opening. Tom wore the makeup after losing a football bet with Brett Bourgie.
24. Tesla flying car demo. A host saw listener Richard Heron share the Tesla Roadster video, first assumed Richard fell for AI, then learned it's real. The car drives up a vertical wall, drops off upside down and lands on thrusters, then barrel-rolls over a semi. The chat (Kristine, Cara, Krystal) is skeptical and critical of Elon Musk, and the hosts argue over vaporware versus future uses like preventing rollovers. Side references: the "human flight is a million years away" story from their Brad Meltzer interview, the four-minute mile and a German robot groping case.
25. Wrap-up. Moe uses a Tom & Dan sound as his Tesla chime and tries to avoid driving himself as much as possible. A host is at 98.6% self-driving. Final plugs follow. Just before sign-off, the chat confirms the Tesla is a prototype that can't carry a person, and the host maintains it still really happened.

• Ongoing (Halloween season): Halloween Horror Nights at Universal, including the RIP tour. Science Center Halloween party, tickets at OSC.org.
• Tomorrow (Saturday) morning: Ross fishes with Captain B, then is at the weigh-in after-party at Mavericks, Satellite Beach, 12 to 2 p.m.
• Tomorrow (Saturday) evening: Moe's Comedy Jam at the Funny Bone, doors 5, show 6 (final confirmation). Benefits the Yellow Brick Road Foundation (YBRF.org). Tickets at moecomedyjam.com, promo code 10.
• Monday: Next show.
• Next week: Dan's iPhone Duo review.
• November 21: Bad at Business Beerfest. Gift bags from noon, sample cups and wristbands noon to 2, must be 21+. Free after-party with the Supervillains at the West End.
• November 22: Sofas & Suds, Sanford Couch Races (free).
• September 2027: Tom & Dan Cruise. Deposits at TomandDanCruise2027.com; price rises with each block sold.
• Anytime: Ross's Orlando Talk Show episode with Larry Fulford. Moe VIP signup at justcallmoe.com. Surfshark deal at tomanddan.com. Streamline Florida at streamlineflorida.com. Jeff's Bagel Run app at jeffsbagelrun.com.

• Ross McCoy: In-studio guest, comedian and host of The Orlando Talk Show
• Chat room: SJ (Publix tote idea), Tracy (Science Center plug, HHN comments), Conway J, Kristine, Ryan, Cara and Krystal weighed in
• Mentioned, not on air: Moe DeWitt, Colette and Kentucky Steve, Captain B, Danielle Mathis (HHN tour guide), Larry Fulford, Marilyn Vann (Mimi), Richard Heron, Dr. E. Daryl Dean
• No phone calls or voicemails in this episode

Indulge in the finest moments of the award-winning talk radio show, "A Corporate Time with Tom & Dan," airing weeknights on Real Radio 104.1 FM. As one of the pioneering FM talk radio stations, Real Radio 104.1 has been a trailblazer, and Tom & Dan have been the captivating voice of the reluctant night show. Why reluctant, you ask? Well, after two decades in the radio industry, they've experienced its unforgiving nature, but they've gracefully transformed it into a realm of delightful silliness. Thank you for being a part of their journey and tuning in!

Episode: 896 - 28 Year Walk Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis | Guest: Seth (Silverback Seth, dojo owner)

• Central Homes Roofing: $500 off a re-roof if you mention Tom and Dan. They use their own W-2 crews, offer hurricane warranties, and will come out for repairs under $1,000 when other roofers won't. They have 1,100+ five-star Google reviews (4.8 average), were voted Orlando Weekly's best roofer three years running, and offer same-day estimates. Site: centralhomesroofing.com. The hosts note that one listener just got a repair and another is about to get a re-roof.
• Hollerbach's German Restaurant (downtown Sanford): Oktoberfest party October 16 and 17, with an upstairs buffet on Saturday, October 17 for $35 a person. Seating is limited, so get tickets on the front page of their website. The hosts also plugged the market's pumpkin-season items and take-home German groceries.
• Moe DeWitt (attorney, "injured on the go"): Moe Comedy Jam on Saturday, October 17 at the Funny Bone, a charity show of Ross McCoy and Larry Fulford's "What Do You Want From Us," where the audience votes on jokes by phone. Tickets at moecomedyjam.com. The hosts also pushed the free Moe VIP program (free dinners and events) and his charity work with Rosie's Adventures and the Yellow Brick Road Foundation.

1. Cold open and Seth on the couch: Seth arrives "as stressed as ever." The hosts tell him he's still one of the most-viewed guests and run through the week's guests: Guy Torry, Kevin Martin of Candlebox, Marley, and Brad Meltzer coming Monday.
2. Grocery talk and Aldi hate: Seth has moved from Whole Foods to Fresh Market and explains he can only eat Pacific halibut, not Atlantic. A host goes on a rant about hating Aldi and its cheese advent calendar.
3. Dojo relocation: Seth signed a five-year lease on a new spot because his plaza is being torn down. He's due out by the end of November but may need another month, and moving is hard over the holidays. The hosts worry that the new upstairs location will cost him students, and a host says he asked Claude, which estimated a 3 to 5 percent loss. The new space will get a jungle-themed mural. A chat listener warns about termites in that part of town.
4. Free water and trash etiquette: Seth complains about members leaving half-full free water bottles everywhere and plans a vending machine. Tom and Dan have the same problem with guests and their mini bottles. This leads to a debate over whether cleaning up your own trash at the movies is a new thing, with chat listener 757 disagreeing.
5. Studio lease news: The hosts say their building has a new owner and they signed another two-year lease yesterday. They admit they were dreading having to tear out and rewire the studio. Former owner Ed is back in town.
6. Subleasing ideas: Seth's new lease lets him sublease five front rooms. The hosts riff on what could go there: "Air T&D," a cuddle business (the cuddle lady from Weird Job Wednesday has been emailing and wants to come back), a capybara cafe, a copy of the cat cafe in Clermont, and crude massage-parlor jokes.
7. Medium Pace Challenge: The hosts play the first submission to their challenge of showing kids the "Medium Pace" song. Longtime listener EJ played it for his 14-year-old son Nicholas, who wasn't amused. Seth estimates he's sung it at karaoke about 50 times. One host says he backed out of trying it with his own kids.
8. Seth's beach and outdoor kitchen: Seth had about 40 yards of beach sand dumped by his lake and spread it himself with his neighbor's tractor. Rain washed some away, so he redid and cemented his seawall. He's also installed an outdoor kitchen with a Paradise Grills / Artisan grill and a fire pit, and is waiting on the permitted gas hookup. The hosts warn about outdoor fridges rusting and trade stories about kitchens exploding. Tom describes his own concrete outdoor kitchen, with countertops by Concrete Mike and a grill a listener sold him for $700. Seth admits his boat is filthy from neglect. Dan says his daughter thinks Seth is the coolest and once danced in front of the dojo. Chat listener Captain Dano calls concrete countertops white trash.
9. Caller LJ from South Carolina: LJ says Seth's project needs a professional look at gas bonding and ventilation and offers to drive down on a weekend he visits his parents in Cape Canaveral. Seth says it would take months, not a weekend. The hosts share a crude Concrete Mike chat-room anecdote.
10. Karl Bushby's 28-year walk: A host tells the story of Karl Bushby, a former British paratrooper who set out on November 1, 1998 from the southern tip of South America to walk home to Hull, England, with no motorized transport. Highlights: crossing the Darien Gap; walking to Washington, DC for Russian permission; crossing the frozen Bering Strait and being detained in Russia; swimming the Caspian Sea; and being denied the Channel Tunnel, so he swam the English Channel at 57. He has about 250 miles left, the finish is expected around November, and a documentary is planned. The hosts debate whether he lived the fullest life possible or abandoned his son, citing the son's Yorkshire Post comments and Bushby saying that stopping scares him. Side tangents: pneumonic plague, AI and universal income leaving people without a purpose, ikigai, Tom Brady's sacrifices, and travelers killed on roadsides.
11. Document your life: Picking up on Guy Torry and Steve-O saving all their footage, the hosts talk about digitizing old MiniDV tapes. Seth's stunt tapes from his early stunt tour were stolen in a break-in. A host remembers the "drunk in the bear suit" video still circulating on Facebook. A host says he's starting South Park with his sons after Family Guy.
12. Mike Ditka dies at 86: The hosts react to breaking news of Ditka's death and compare old-school "smash mouth" football with today's game, mentioning CeeDee Lamb, Cam Skattebo, and a host's dad meeting Bears great Dan Hampton, who described getting injections before and after every game. One host mentions someone who is 104 and still mailed a handwritten birthday card. There's a brief crude tangent.
13. Robot fight setup and music picks: The hosts tease an event with Seth fighting a robot, since a listener has access to one. Music played includes a new single from The Interrupters released that day, The Bar Stool Preachers featuring Angelo Moore of Fishbone, the pick of the week (Sira Dream, "Death Versus Dying," 8-bit meets punk), and a live Suedehead track. Warped Tour comes up: it's coming in November at about $250 for two days, and a friend, Tony, is filling in on guitar for Make War.
14. Viral robot fight critique: The hosts break down a viral human-vs-robot fight clip as staged and compare its star to a radio stuntman. Joe Rogan reacted to it. The hosts say real threats will look like faceless Boston Dynamics robots and kamikaze drones, not Terminator-faced humanoids.
15. Animal Talk with Concrete Mike: In a voicemail, Mike tells the story of a poacher who hit a deer, went to butcher it, and was kicked in the chest and killed by the still-alive deer. The hosts suspect it's an urban legend, which leads into other legends like the mistranslated Chinese-character tattoo and hidden images in tattoos.
16. Band and restaurant collabs / Hooters closing: Following up on OutKast's Waffle House collab, a listener loved Tom's Limp Bizkit x Hooters idea but noted Hooters locations are closing in Jacksonville and Daytona. The hosts say they still take their families to Hooters, blame the closures on customers staying away, and pitch karaoke at Hooters. P.O.D. reminds a host of stocking shelves at Home Depot while listening to WJRR.
17. Voicemail from Bubble Bath Billy: baseball mom follow-up: Billy says the mom from the viral baseball-game story posted an essay explaining it: she chose to hold the baby for warmth, the dad had been working and hadn't eaten, and he'd recently lost a friend. Billy says Tom called it. The hosts discuss how a very independent wife can make a husband look bad in public, using Andrea as the example, then debate the new expectation that fans hand any caught ball to a kid.
18. Caller BDM Bug Man Charles: Charles jokes about the termite threat to Seth's new spot and suggests Twin Peaks in Altamonte Springs, with its Lamborghinis in the lot. The hosts float Seth performing "Medium Pace" at their next event, possibly in a fake ninja costume, since he's protective of karate tradition and won't wear his gi for a bit.
19. Seth's office space pitch: Seth describes the five rooms: about 15x15 each, roughly 800 square feet total, with a floor-to-ceiling glass wall overlooking East Colonial Drive and Publix. Internet, water and electric are included, and he's thinking $700 to $750 a month per room, which the hosts call a great deal. Contact Silverback Seth on social media or at [email protected].
20. Grocery wrap and sign-off: Closing chatter about Publix locations, Fresh Market, and Bravo, then "see you Monday."

• Today (Friday): Mike Ditka's death reported as breaking news. New Interrupters single out.
• Yesterday: Tom & Dan signed a new two-year lease on the studio.
• Monday: Brad Meltzer is on the show.
• October 16 and 17: Hollerbach's Oktoberfest in downtown Sanford, with the upstairs buffet on Saturday, October 17 ($35/person). Tickets on their website.
• Saturday, October 17: Moe Comedy Jam at the Funny Bone (moecomedyjam.com).
• November: Warped Tour (about $250 for two days). Karl Bushby expected to finish his walk.
• End of November: Seth's deadline to leave his current dojo location, possibly extended a month.
• Ongoing: Central Homes Roofing ($500 off a re-roof when you mention Tom and Dan). Moe VIP program (free to join). Seth's office rooms for rent (contact Silverback Seth on social media or [email protected]).

• Seth (Silverback Seth): In-studio guest and dojo owner, relocating his school and subleasing office rooms.
• LJ (South Carolina): Phone caller who offered to help with Seth's gas and outdoor kitchen work.
• BDM Bug Man Charles: Phone caller with termite jokes and the Twin Peaks suggestion.
• Bubble Bath Billy: Voicemail with the baseball mom follow-up.
• Concrete Mike: Animal Talk voicemail. Also built Tom's countertops.
• EJ and his son Nicholas: First Medium Pace Challenge video submission.
• Chat room: 757 (movie trash debate), Captain Dano (concrete countertops), and a listener with the termite warning.

Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis | Guest: Guy Torry

• Surfshark VPN: Sign up through the link at tomanddan.com for 4 extra months, at $2.39 a month. The hosts pitched it for getting around Florida's ID age-verification sites, staying safe on airport Wi-Fi, and watching blacked-out or out-of-market games like Braves vs. Marlins, EPL, La Liga, Mexican soccer and cricket by picking a country to connect through.

1. Surfshark cold open: The episode opens mid ad read. The hosts joke about Florida's age-verification laws leaving them "down to underwear ads," explain how picking a VPN country works, and mention using it for blacked-out baseball and soccer.
2. Guy Torry arrives: Guy is in town for a last-minute pop-up weekend at the Funny Bone Orlando. He gets an airhorn welcome, and the group talks about the Chet Hanks and Eric Andre beef. Their take is that Chet tried to out-weird Eric on his show and crossed a line by grabbing him.
3. Short people problems: Guy (5'2") and a host (5'7") talk about people constantly touching short people. Guy says he only notices his height when someone points it out. This leads into his bit about strangers re-pushing an elevator button that's already lit.
4. Beards and turning 50: Guy gets ribbed about his gnome-like beard and calls his new look "biker stepdad." Dan says he stopped caring about his look when he turned 50.
5. Work ethic at 57: The hosts praise how hard Guy works after 34 years of touring and say he looks far younger than 57. Guy talks about taking last-minute pop-ups, like filling in at Nate Jackson's club in Seattle on a day's notice, and calls comedy medicine for an angry country. A host mentions his own hip replacements. Guy credits his parents, especially his dad, who retired from the military, then the post office, then took a church custodian job.
6. Church stories: The group trades stories about a preacher locking the church doors during the offering, and about preferring a one-hour Catholic Mass to four-hour services. A host remembers going to Sonny's BBQ after church. Guy says he was an altar boy under a priest named Father Griesedieck, whose family owned St. Louis's Griesedieck beer. That brand was bought by Falstaff, and the founders' grandsons are trying to bring it back. The hosts don't believe him at first.
7. Comedy union push: The hosts mention Guy's comment on Bert Kreischer's post about a comedians' union. Guy says most standups have no healthcare, and that openers, hosts and local comics earn about what he did 34 years ago. He says SAG covers comics who act but not straight standup. Since leaving acting he pays out of pocket, which he says is very expensive.
8. Pulmonary embolism scare: Guy describes feeling strange in an airport baggage claim and dropping to a knee. He didn't want to miss a show three hours later, but comic Tony Tone got him to the hospital, where he stayed three days, and Tony finished the weekend for him. Guy's travel advice: wear compression socks, get up and walk every 90 minutes, and do heel raises. He does 500 a day. A host notes he had to wear compression socks after his hip surgery.
9. SiriusXM Raw Dog royalties: The group discusses the controversy over SiriusXM's Raw Dog channel and Sebastian Maniscalco. Guy says he publicly guessed it wasn't Sebastian's decision before Sebastian confirmed it. Guy says his own streaming residual checks are usually $200 to $300 a quarter. He says Tony Tone's first check was $18,000 and now comes monthly. The hosts point out nobody else posted real numbers.
10. Life in LA: The group jokes about LA gas prices at $7 to $9 a gallon. Guy says it would take "a lot of zeros" to get him to move. Being on the road so much left him "out of sight, out of mind" for acting work, so he's spending more time in the LA club scene, partly because health insurance costs push him back toward acting.
11. Tom Cruise's "Digger" flop: Guy explains why a star vehicle can lose around $170M. Some actors are "in the budget" and others are "part of the budget," marketing scales with the budget, and executive producers get real creative control. Other topics: Will Ferrell's Netflix golf series flopping, Cruise in Tropic Thunder, Top Gun, actors with a signature "thing" (Denzel, Sam Jackson, Danny McBride), and the Progressive spokeswoman playing extra characters to show her range.
12. Collecting and hoarding: Guy jokes that his mom was a hoarder and his dad a purger, so he's both. He tried to purge his house three times, but last-minute gigs kept interrupting, including Nate Jackson's club and Birmingham. He describes a roughly 5x3 art piece of hotel key cards that spells "HOTELS," his Starbucks city-mug collection, and 35 to 40 gifted bottles of Don Julio 1942 he plans to sign and give away. A host brings up musicians selling gear on Reverb, like Green Day's Mike Dirnt. Guy says he'd rather donate signed items to a charity auction, such as the LA homeless foundation he works with.
13. Tumi luggage: Guy and the hosts are all Tumi fans. They talk about the old lifetime warranty getting shorter after the Samsonite purchase, Guy flying about 300,000 miles a year, and plans to visit the Tumi store at the Mall at Millennia or the outlets. A host shouts out the Monsters for having Stormy Daniels on that morning.
14. TSA cutting locks: Guy complains about TSA cutting off his TSA-approved Tumi locks. Comic Joe Fox, a former TSA agent, told him the keys and cutters are often in different places. A host half-defends TSA as a miserable job and tells a story about a buddy fired from TSA over jokes about a passenger's wooden rooster carving.
15. Wood carvings and "WPS": A host talks about chainsaw carvings fans gave him during his radio days. Guy files them under "white people stuff." This turns into a crude tangent about body preferences and BBLs.
16. Comedy special plans: Guy plans to shoot a special around January 12, pay for it himself, then shop it. Amazon is first on his list since his Fat Tuesday documentary is there. He explains that owning the special lets him license it short-term, while Amazon owns the documentary. Other topics: COVID derailing his plan to release the two together, canned laughter in some Netflix specials, a comic (he thinks Owen Smith) shooting a special on nine iPhones and returning them, miking the audience, the hosts' live-podcast audio and upcoming cruise, and YouTube vs. premium platforms. The segment ends with HBO's specials legacy and HBO boxing.
17. Sports lightning round: Guy shouts out Sean Sweeney as the new Mavericks coach. The group covers the Magic, Guy being a Lakers fan first, LeBron, the Falcons and Bijan, and a Rams debate. Guy says the Rams are 2-2 but should be 4-0, blaming a loss after flying overseas and a bad pass interference call against Denver. Also: Aaron Donald, Guy being a Cardinals fan first and Dodgers second, his prediction of no MLB season next year, Sean McVay's physique, and SoFi Stadium being dug into the ground, compared to Orlando City's sunken stadium.
18. Wrap and plugs: The hosts shout out longtime listener EJ and plug Guy's Funny Bone shows as a holiday-weekend date night, with some confusion over whether the site ends in .com or .net.

• This morning: The Monsters had Stormy Daniels on.
• Tonight and tomorrow (holiday weekend): Guy Torry at the Funny Bone Orlando, two shows each night. Get tickets on the Funny Bone Orlando site.
• Monday night: Rams vs. Buffalo.
• Ongoing: Surfshark VPN through tomanddan.com (4 extra months, $2.39/month).
• Ongoing: Guy's Fat Tuesday documentary, streaming on Amazon.
• Around January 12: Guy plans to shoot his new self-produced comedy special.
• Next year: Tom & Dan cruise, now on sale.

• Guy Torry: In-studio guest. Comedian and actor in town for the Funny Bone Orlando pop-up weekend.
• Tony Tone (mentioned): Comedian who got Guy to the hospital and finished his weekend of shows.
• Joe Fox (mentioned): Comedian and former TSA agent who explained the lock cutting.
• EJ (mentioned): Longtime listener and friend of the show.
• No phone-in callers or voicemails.

Speaker labels in the transcript weren't clear, so I wrote "a host" for some lines rather than guessing between Tom and Dan. The transcript also spells the guest's name several ways ("Torres," "Torre"); I went with Guy Torry, as in your file name.

Indulge in the finest moments of the award-winning talk radio show, "A Corporate Time with Tom & Dan," airing weeknights on Real Radio 104.1 FM. As one of the pioneering FM talk radio stations, Real Radio 104.1 has been a trailblazer, and Tom & Dan have been the captivating voice of the reluctant night show. Why reluctant, you ask? Well, after two decades in the radio industry, they've experienced its unforgiving nature, but they've gracefully transformed it into a realm of delightful silliness. Thank you for being a part of their journey and tuning in!

Episode: 895, "Tom & Dan in a Tizzy" Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis (with Ross McCoy in studio) | Guest: Michael McWhorter ("Tizzy"); pet expert Sam (Zoom, opening segment)

• Core Flooring Center (coreflooringfl.com): Owner Corey works in the Winter Park showroom. Made-in-the-USA waterproof laminate, vinyl plank, wood and carpet, plus dustless tile removal. 0% financing for 24 months, prices starting around $1 a square foot, and 10% off flooring and labor for a limited time if you say Tom and Dan sent you. Dan's sister-in-law Alex redid her condo with them, and listener Eddie the Biker is about to call them.
• Fairvilla (fairvilla.com): Halloween costumes built to last for years, mix-and-match pieces, and a range from sexy to non-sexy, including onesies, festival wear, shoes and roller skates. A host mentions his handmade leather kilt. Multiple Central Florida locations.
• Bud Docs (buddocs.org): Medical marijuana recommendations with Dr. Shen Latte. Locations include Hunters Creek, Tampa and Melbourne, with same-day appointments. After the first in-person visit, renewals are virtual. Pricing: $99 for transfers, $125 for existing patients, $175 for new patients. They also share dispensary first-visit deals. The hosts read a listener email: when the listener said he heard about Bud Docs on a podcast, the doctor guessed Tom and Dan right away.

1. Straight Talk: pet expert Sam. Dan opens by saying his dog Dansby has dermatitis and sends him a hello. Sam joins on Zoom from the South Shore of Montreal. He walks 35 dogs off leash in a 175-acre private forest and jokes that he keeps count by counting legs and dividing by four.
2. Caller Harold and Bilbo. Harold's 8-year-old rabbit-hunting dog keeps tearing up his mattress and got into his kratom powder. Sam suggests redirecting the dog's search instinct into a scent game on command. Harold gets more and more profane, and the hosts drop the call.
3. Caller Susan's bandana dogs. Susan has about 16 rescue miniature dogs that won't keep their color-coded bandanas on, and she floats spray adhesive or hot glue as a fix. She also says the dogs drink sweetened coffee and that she lives in Barbados. Sam steers her away from all of it and suggests frozen chicken or beef stock instead. Another profane caller gets put through by mistake and is asked to hang up. Sam spells out his website, and the hosts call it a "snake eyes" day for live radio.
4. Show open and introducing Tizzy. It's the Friday free show, with Ross McCoy in studio. The hosts joke about Sam losing dogs to polar bears and treating forests like everyone has one. They introduce longtime friend of the show Michael McWhorter, known as Tizzy, the guest with by far the biggest following they've had.
5. The Predators video flashback. Around 2011 or 2012, Michael was a listener who did the After Effects work on the hosts' Orlando Predators "300 kick" video. He also animated their logo spin, which the show used until about a year ago. This is also the show's original connection to Rick Ross.
6. Tizzy's film origin story. A Details magazine piece on Robert Rodriguez and his book "Rebel Without a Crew" convinced Michael, then working moving and AC installation jobs, to go for it. He left film school early to learn on sets. He bought a DVX100 with help from his grandmother, found local bands through MySpace's search tool to shoot their music videos, and won a RED camera contest plus a $25,000 grand prize.
7. Music video editing career. He built a reputation as a fast editor working at a flat rate, then ran a Miami post-production facility. He has cut more than 300 music videos, including work for Hype Williams, Beyonce, The Pretty Reckless, Rick Ross, Pitbull, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Daddy Yankee and reggaeton artists. The hosts relate his speed to their own fast-moving small business and to Tony Palmiotti's cruise business.
8. TikTok beginnings. Vine's limits appealed to him, and he started making TikToks while waiting on renders. His first viral clip, a fake beard-shaving video set to Imogen Heap that he almost deleted, became a trend. Annoyed by misinformation spreading on TikTok, he began debunking it, which grew into identifying people seen behaving badly on video.
9. How identification works. Victims started asking for help when police said they'd charge someone if he could be identified. Often he finds the person and passes the information along without ever making a video. Dan shares how a single Instagram post identified a man who dented his car door within 14 minutes. Tizzy calls the internet "one giant small town," and the hosts bring up the birthday paradox and six degrees of Kevin Bacon.
10. Ethics of internet justice. The hosts compare cases like the Hawaii monk seal incident and Steve Bartman. Tizzy says he "swings a pretty big hammer," so he weighs whether the backlash would fit what the person did. His test is whether anything that happened before the camera rolled could justify what's on screen. He won't post addresses or phone numbers and discourages threats. Example: a man who punted a kitten in Texas and kept bragging about it was later fired, arrested and fined.
11. Self-identifiers and threats. A man who punched a woman messaged Tizzy on his own, which identified him. A man who posted slurs alongside a photo of his own business card left a threatening voicemail, and Tizzy answered by sending him Florida's stand-your-ground statute. Tizzy says he is in therapy for the toll the work takes, and his therapist compared him to the canary in the coal mine. Also mentioned: critics who object when he posts something lighthearted, like a Garth Brooks concert.
12. Garth Brooks and "hands of leather." A callback to an old bit about a Garth song involving a widow and a farmhand. The hosts float a "leather hands" T-shirt.
13. Celebrity followers. Alan Ritchson followed Tizzy before he was cast as Reacher and later thanked him for being an early supporter. Channing Tatum messaged him about Publix fried chicken. The follow Tizzy was most excited about was composer Michael Giacchino, known for the Up score and Werewolf by Night.
14. Getting the Discovery show made. Greg Grunberg of Heroes reached out, and they developed the show over about three years with the production company behind Snapped. A Discovery subsidiary had it first under a working title like "Disturbing the Peace." Then the head of main Discovery described exactly that show in a pitch meeting and claimed it. It survived merger uncertainty and executive turnover, and Tizzy values that it created crew jobs.
15. Lawyers, blurring and the title. Corporate fear of lawsuits led to some faces being blurred late in production, though everyone shown had already been identified. A fan suggested adding a QR code that links to the unblurred originals. The favorite working title was "How to Catch an Asshole," marketing rejected it, and "Dirtbag" stuck after someone used it as a placeholder in emails. It airs internationally, including in Afghanistan, Iran and North Korea, which sets off a riff on Kim Jong-un responding to it. There's also a tangent about promo press kits, like Dan's American Idol hoodie with thumb holes.
16. Jacksonville Beach dock clip. They play Tizzy's video of an older couple at a Jacksonville Beach condo harassing teenagers who were fishing off a dock. One of the kids later told Tizzy he just wanted to catch a sheepshead to take home and eat. Neighbors identified the man, reportedly retired from the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office. They discuss "one bad day" as no excuse. Dan brings up his fear that a neighbor would post a selectively edited clip of their July 4th hose dispute.
17. Repeat offenders and cold cases. Tizzy recognized a Las Vegas livestream harasser by his voice when he resurfaced in California pepper-spraying women. In one stream, a woman broke his nose, which helped confirm it was him. A Washington DIY auto shop firebombing remains unsolved and bothers him. He has found people with no social media through wedding photos posted online. Minority Report vs. Terminator jokes follow.
18. Cruise and Trail of Terror plugs. About 230 people are booked on the Tom and Dan Cruise 2027 so far, a group of inside cabins remains at the original price, and the deposit is refundable. The hosts plan a vendor walk-through video at the St. Cloud Trail of Terror.
19. Crude locker-room tangent. A short off-color bit about flexibility, a college acquaintance, and how earlier generations passed around homemade videos compared with today.
20. OutKast x Waffle House collab. Merch includes tees (Andrea got Dan the bootleg-style vintage tee and a storefront tee), a work shirt, a hoodie, a jacket, a bucket hat and a $70 laser-engraved spatula on pre-order. The hosts brainstorm other music-and-restaurant pairings: Jimmy Buffett with Orange Julius or Hooters, then Limp Bizkit with Hooters as the winner, with a crude sauce joke.
21. Caller Debary Joe on Buffett. He points to "Why Don't We Get Drunk" as Buffett's love song. A host remembers a raunchier live lyric. Then a mention of McDonald's Hello Kitty x Godzilla Happy Meal toys, how small Happy Meal fries are now, and why McDonald's apple slices never brown, plus a tip on soaking pumpkins in vinegar.
22. Toys R Us comeback. On a father-son steak dinner, Tom and his son Tommy passed the old sunken Toys R Us on 436, which is now a Hobby Lobby. Tom's wife Crystal had bought signage when the Oviedo Mall store closed, and Toys R Us is returning there. The group debates whether standalone toy stores can survive when kids prefer iPads.
23. Old toys and collecting. A host remembers Stompers 4x4s, and the group pulls up photos. They also cover airport-gift toys, KB Toys, Micro Machines and their fast-talking pitchman, and GoBots vs. Transformers. Dan admits he was sad when Maisie gave up her American Girl dolls for dance. They reminisce about in-store game demos like the Game Boy kiosk at Zayre. A host tells how ordering Harley-Davidson diecast models online killed the fun of the hunt, and the collection was donated to a church sale and thrown out. Also mentioned: McFarlane toy crate exclusives and West Coast Choppers' Jesse James.
24. Band intro and plugs. XCOM (teens from Venice Beach) with "Fake ID," which Tom heard on SiriusXM. Mo's Comedy Jam moves to a Saturday at the Funny Bone with Ross producing. Merch Man Eric is clearing out the storage unit and posting old BDM shirts for $5.
25. Tizzy's hot mic and AI scheduling. It turns out Tizzy stayed the whole previous segment without anyone realizing. There's a bit about a host's new AI calendar assistant mangling entries like "Ross McCoy." Tizzy explains anemoia, nostalgia for things you never experienced, like Gen Z missing Blockbuster. Drive-in theater memories and Michael vs. Tizzy nicknames follow.
26. Banned from TikTok. Tizzy's account with 8.1 million followers is banned for the fifth time in about four months from mass reporting. He says the TikTok Creator Fund pays very little, though a friend made far more from it. YouTube and Facebook still pay. Instagram pays almost nothing. He talks about shadowbans and fans who say they were silently unfollowed.
27. Followers vs. real reach. Tom vents that brands go by follower counts even though the show's engagement is stronger, and Tizzy explains bot-detection tools. They talk about niche creators like the Chinese-buffet food-poisoning guy, the one-star hotel blacklight reviewer, and "Johnny Sips," along with brand deals that fall through when brands look at Tizzy's content.
28. Leverage with Discovery. The network first treated Tizzy as "on-air talent" and made a low offer, which he laughed off because he makes more per post. Because he doesn't depend on the show, he kept the freedom to post what he wants. A listener named Westmoreland jokingly unfollowed over the sauce bit. Big Boi is into owls and serious grilling, and Guy Ritchie makes grills for celebrities.
29. Famous followers roundup. The hosts compare notable followers, including Amy Kaufeldt and the A Day to Remember drummer. Pete Holmes once followed someone and made them afraid to tweet.
30. Wrap and final plugs. Ross plugs his Orlando talk show and a Whatnot copper sale. Tizzy plugs his show and describes the first episode's infamous road-rage incident: the woman involved first agreed to appear, her attorney talked her out of it, and she later complained the episode made her look bad. The hosts sign off until Monday.

• August 5 (premiere): Tizzy's Discovery Channel show (said on air as "To Catch a Dirtbag" / "How to Catch a Dirtbag"). Eight-episode first season, now on Discovery, HBO Max and Discovery+, with international releases coming.
• Tonight (day of recording): Ross McCoy's Whatnot sale at All American Bullion FL.
• Next Thursday: Tom and Dan film a vendor walk-through at the St. Cloud Trail of Terror.
• October 9 and 10, then two more weekends: St. Cloud Trail of Terror at Peghorn Park. Six dates total, tickets at tomanddan.com.
• Upcoming Saturday (date not given): Mo's Comedy Jam at the Funny Bone, tickets at mocomedyjam.com.
• Ongoing: $5 clearance of old BDM shirts and other past merch at tomanddan.com.
• Ongoing: Core Flooring 10% off for a limited time, Fairvilla Halloween costumes, and Bud Docs same-day appointments.
• January 31, 2027: The OutKast x Waffle House spatula pre-order ships.
• 2027: Tom and Dan Cruise 2027 (tomanddancruise2027.com), about 230 booked. Refundable deposit holds the price, and a few inside cabins remain at the original rate.
• Follow: Tizzy as "Tizzy" on every platform (TikTok currently banned). Sam's pet website was spelled on air, but the transcript is unclear.

• Michael McWhorter (Tizzy): In-studio guest. Social media creator, music video editor, and host of the Discovery Channel dirtbag show.
• Sam: Pet expert and off-leash dog walker from the South Shore of Montreal, on Zoom for the Straight Talk segment.
• Harold: Caller with a hunting dog named Bilbo that destroys mattresses. Dropped for profanity.
• Susan: Caller from Barbados with about 16 rescue miniature dogs and a bandana problem.
• Unnamed caller: Put through by mistake, cursed on air, and was asked to hang up.
• Debary Joe: Caller who corrected the hosts on Jimmy Buffett love songs.
• Ross McCoy: In studio. Host of the Orlando talk show and producer for Mo's Comedy Jam.
• Listener email (unnamed): Bud Docs patient whose doctor guessed he heard about it from Tom and Dan.
• Westmoreland: Listener who messaged that he "unfollowed" over the sauce joke.

Indulge in the finest moments of the award-winning talk radio show, "A Corporate Time with Tom & Dan," airing weeknights on Real Radio 104.1 FM. As one of the pioneering FM talk radio stations, Real Radio 104.1 has been a trailblazer, and Tom & Dan have been the captivating voice of the reluctant night show. Why reluctant, you ask? Well, after two decades in the radio industry, they've experienced its unforgiving nature, but they've gracefully transformed it into a realm of delightful silliness. Thank you for being a part of their journey and tuning in!

Episode: "The Dinner Divorce" (LTN48)

Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None

• No sponsor segments or ad reads in this episode.

1. Cold open: intro debate. The hosts argue over whether they need to introduce themselves at the top of every show. Tom calls it pointless since listeners already know who they are. They float making a new intro with names in it for year two, to mark the show's anniversary.
2. What's a food divorce? Colette talks about her recent news appearance on "food divorce," which is when couples eat separately and each person handles their own meals. She puts it alongside other trends like sleep divorce. Dan asks why those couples even live together.
3. The Dennis family dinner. Dan says he and Andrea sit down to dinner together every night, while Maisie often eats at dance. He calls the ritual almost as important as sex because it's when Andrea opens up, including her project manager work gossip. He also covers meal kits like Home Chef and Blue Apron and his weekly meal prep for Maisie.
4. Colette on connection rituals. Colette explains that shared meals are one of the few unstructured connection rituals couples have left. People who grew up eating as a family tend to keep doing it. She shares how she ate alone in her room as a teenager after her parents divorced, making prank conference calls.
5. Tom at the head of the table. Tom's family eats together too, and he likes sitting at the head of the table. He jokes that nobody should introduce themselves there either. He complains that his kids share nothing, eat slowly, and ignore his celebrity stories (he recently talked to the actor who played Puddy on Seinfeld). Colette suggests word games to liven things up, and Tom says his car-ride games haven't gone well.
6. Dan's date nights. Dan says he's recently enjoyed date nights at a local tavern known for crispy pizza, where he mostly just listens to Andrea talk.
7. Quiet Kobe. Tom's wife took their youngest son Max to Hamilton at Dr. Phillips, so Tom took his oldest son Tommy to Kobe Japanese Steakhouse. The two barely talked all night, then Tommy turned on the TV as soon as they got home. Lots of jokes about the oil, the "double white" rice, and the aftermath. Tom also recalls quiet car rides with the men in his family, including a story that started with "one time I killed a man."
8. Companionable silence. Colette reframes the Kobe night: small talk isn't necessarily more connecting than silence, and parents shouldn't feel guilty about quiet moments. Dan and Andrea both thought the outing was great. Dan mentions upcoming one-on-one time with Maisie while Andrea travels for work.
9. In defense of food divorce. Colette says her household basically has a food divorce because of schedules. She wants quiet after a day of doing therapy, and she and her husband still share meals a few times a week. She also points to GLP-1 use and the mental load of meal planning, often carried by women. Her takeaway: do what works, but make time to be present.
10. "What's for dinner?" prank. A host describes his favorite prank: asking his wife what's for dinner at her most stressed moment. It works every time.
11. Email: friend in a scam. "Baltimore Beef Stew" writes about a friend putting $50,000 into an MLM-style unclaimed property scheme despite being warned. Colette says he's already said his piece. Adults have to make their own choices, and he can set limits on what he'll do if it goes badly.
12. Florida Treasure Hunt. The hosts explain that Florida's unclaimed property site, fltreasurehunt.gov, is a real government website even though the name sounds like a scam. They guess the scheme is built around middlemen charging people for money they could claim themselves.
13. When it's your money too. Colette says it's different when a bad decision will land on you financially, like an elderly parent you'd have to support. She shares that she once voiced doubts when her late mother gave money to a questionable religious organization, then let it go.
14. Ask before advising. Tom admits he's a blunt truth teller with the people he loves. His example is laughing off the Grizz's AI-assisted spy novel, and his wife says he comes off like a jerk. Colette's fix is to ask whether someone wants your opinion first. She notes that offhand comments can stick with people for years, and that it's okay to say you're not ready to hear someone's take.
15. Tom's coward approach. Tom says he nods, checks his watch, and then says "that's not going to work" after the person leaves. Also a riff on a past helicopter pilot dream.
16. You don't have a crystal ball. A host says he often stays quiet and then watches things play out just as he predicted. Colette counters that she has seen couples she privately doubted turn things around. She says it's unethical for therapists to tell clients whether to end a relationship, and references Dolly Parton hearing her plans wouldn't work. Joke about the Nigerian prince actually showing up.
17. Email: wife in a hard season. A longtime listener says his 47-year-old wife is moody and down on herself, their kids are about to leave home, one child is struggling, and she has open heart surgery coming up. His compliments aren't landing. Colette says it could be any mix of perimenopause, health stress, empty nest, or feelings about the marriage. She recommends a conversation, possibly a few therapy sessions, and simply being present instead of trying to fix it.
18. Name your own experience. Tom riffs on everything a husband should never say. Colette advises using "I" statements, like saying you feel helpless and worried, instead of telling the other person what's wrong with them.
19. Empathy between genders. Tom says he's glad he never has to go through "the change." Colette lists what women deal with, and Tom agrees men have it pretty easy. Colette warns against letting online anger, tied to a recent news story, turn into hating all men.
20. Perimenopause 101. Colette explains that perimenopause can start in the 30s (a chat room listener said hers began at 39) and that 51 is the average age of menopause. Technically, menopause is a single day, one year after the last period. She shares that she's had few symptoms, and that a past uterine ablation makes it hard to tell where she is.
21. Next week teaser and close. Colette teases a story about a possible perimenopausal outburst that "traumatized" her husband. Chat room member Ryan coined "Quiet Kobe," and Colette jokes her book's paperback will be called The Cost of Kobe. Plugs and sign-off.

• Recently: Colette appeared on the news talking about food divorce.
• Recently: Tom's wife and Max saw Hamilton at Dr. Phillips Center through her season subscription.
• Year two: The show is celebrating its anniversary, which prompted the new intro idea.
• Upcoming: Andrea's work trip to Austin, Texas, which means one-on-one time for Dan and Maisie.
• Upcoming holiday (Presidents' Day, per Dan): Dan has a day off to plan an outing with Maisie.
• Next week: Colette's perimenopause outburst story.
• Ongoing: Insights from the Couch, the hosts' other podcast.
• Ongoing: Send emails to [email protected].
• Ongoing: fltreasurehunt.gov, Florida's official unclaimed property search.

• Baltimore Beef Stew: Listener email (made-up name) about a friend caught in an unclaimed property MLM scheme.
• Anonymous longtime listener: Email from a husband whose 47-year-old wife is going through a difficult stretch.
• Ryan (chat room): Coined "Quiet Kobe" / "The Cost of Kobe."
• Chat room listener: Said her perimenopause started at 39.
• The Grizz (mentioned, not on air): Friend whose spy novel Tom dismissed.

Episode: "69 Come Sticks" (#894)

Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis | Guest: Ross McCoy (comedian, The Orlando Talk Show)

• Bart the Realtor / The Bart Marek Team: Opened with a host doing a "cool dude" character, then Bart called in. He said Central Florida real estate is having a rough, locked-up year because 30-year rates are near 7.25%. Cash buyers have the edge, and homes that have sat for a month or more have room to negotiate. His team is also doing a lot of estate, job-loss, and divorce sales. barttherealtor.com has cell numbers for Bart Marek and Crystal Vann. Bart has been a gold star sponsor for nearly 15 years.
• Seaz Nuts 2027 Tom & Dan Cruise: On the MSC Seashore out of Port Canaveral, with stops in Nassau and Ocean Cay. Interior staterooms start at $1,200 for two and include Wi-Fi, in-room breakfast, and a premium drink package (15 drinks a day). There will be a live broadcast and the Mediocre Idol karaoke contest. Deposits at tomanddancruise2027.com.
• Injured On The Go / Just Call Moe (justcallmoe.com): Studio sponsor, also named as a cruise sponsor.
• Trail of Terror "Sweet 16": At Peghorn Nature Preserve in St. Cloud, six dates only. Tickets are $15 in advance or $20 at the door, via the zombie girl link on TomandDan.com. Supported by Experience Kissimmee and Orlando Health St. Cloud Hospital.
• Modern Plumbing Industries (modernpi.com): Mention Tom & Dan for 10% off. The read included a listener story about a sewer backup coming up a shower drain. They cover all Central Florida counties, residential and industrial, including cast iron pipe relining.
• My Eternal Vitality (myeternalvitality.com): A quick drop-in plug during the Method Man TRT joke.
• Cruise sponsors: justcallmoe.com, Empire Spot Fireworks, Celery City Craft, Villain Coffee / Villain Roasters.

1. Cold open: cool dude character. The Bart ad read was framed around a revived "cool dude" character that Bart likes. Afterward the hosts argued over how to sign off after a sponsor read.

2. Cruise update: $20 bump. Dan debuted a new "Yachty" sound effect. The first block of balcony cabins sold out, and Tony from Ahoy Cruises got a second block at $20 more, which he was angry about for the listeners' sake. Inside cabins are still at the original price, but another block could cost more. Deposits are fully refundable until a couple of months before sailing. The hosts mocked anyone who cancels.

3. Falcons and Garth tonight. Tom was still wound up after the Falcons game, where a rough first quarter gave way to a strong performance. Moe DeWitt invited the crew, Ross included, to the Garth Brooks show at the Kia Center that night. They joked about how many people dropped out before Tom and Dan got invited, and guessed Buzz Stecker would skip it. Crystal had been playing Garth's greatest hits on Amazon Music (the audio quality got panned), and a host's daughter caught him in "Garth mode." Favorites included "Callin' Baton Rouge" and "Friends in Low Places."

4. Billionaire musicians quiz. A report that Garth considered selling his catalog, valued around $2 billion, led into a guessing game about the six billionaire musicians. The crew landed Jay-Z, Beyonce, Paul McCartney, Taylor Swift, and Rihanna. Rihanna got an asterisk because most of her money comes from her cosmetics line. Ross also floated "A billion is a lot" as a T-shirt.

5. Chris Gaines deep dive. Dan went down the Chris Gaines rabbit hole:

   • Gaines was written as a fictional Australian rock star from Brisbane, with a made-up back catalog.
   • The album was meant to set up a movie called The Lamb, a thriller about a fan trying to prove Gaines was murdered. The character was written as a sex addict, and Garth would have needed an Australian accent.
   • The album sold about 2 million copies and became Garth's only Top 40 pop hit.
   • The SNL episode where Garth hosted and introduced Gaines as the musical guest confused a host's dad.
   • The hosts compared the idea to Borat and to found-footage horror. A host remembered seeing a found-footage film at the Enzian with its UCF filmmakers and believing it was real.

6. Caller Cara: nanny stories. Cara was a nanny for a top makeup artist who worked with Garth, Faith Hill, Reba and others. She said Garth's team went along with the Gaines look because nobody told him no. She lived on the artist's property in her early 20s and fried okra and chicken at Faith Hill's Southern-style baby shower. The artist's husband played in Barbara Mandrell's band. The hosts brought up Tom's childhood nanny again. They also recalled the Gaines album ending up in bargain bins once record stores over-ordered.

7. Garth, music rights, and yes-men.

   • Garth fought used-CD stores in 1995, resisted iTunes, and launched his own download service, GhostTunes, later absorbed into Amazon Music.
   • The hosts roasted his naming choices: GhostTunes, The Lamb, a fake Gaines album called "Fornicopia," and his production company Red Strokes.
   • Tom created the "Castleberry Garth" bit about rich stars who won't take notes from employees.
   • Claims from a 2013 lawsuit by an ex-business partner: Garth supposedly passed on Twister (the Helen Hunt role) and Saving Private Ryan to avoid sharing the spotlight.
   • His Padres spring training stint was for charity (a donation to Boys & Girls Clubs), not a real tryout. Dan admitted arguing with Claude about it before conceding. Pre-internet news coverage made stunts like this confusing.

8. Caller Charles: concert parking. BDM Charles was taking his wife to the Garth show for their 23rd anniversary and asked for parking tips. The hosts first gave joke advice: tip a random guy in a construction vest to valet your car. Then came real tips about the Kia Center lots and a gate most people don't know about. Dan's partner Andrea has a secret back-alley parking route. The crew planned crispy tavern-style pizza downtown and Uber rides home.

9. Ross's Uber nightmare. After Wu-Tang Clan at the MidFlorida amphitheater in Tampa, Ross and his wife could see their Hard Rock hotel balcony but had I-4 in the way. Rideshare signs led them nowhere, and the app's pickup point was a slab of concrete in an empty fairgrounds field. The driver stayed in a different lot and stopped answering, while black SUVs kept offering rides. They ended up walking toward a distant Hampton Inn. Chat and hosts piled on about Uber's decline (rider-rating filtering, cancellations) and a Waymo that got stuck in traffic.

10. Break: ska block. The Family Business Limited's "Still a Jamaican" (new album out today) and the Barstool Preachers' "Want to Know" (pick of the week), followed by the Trail of Terror read.

11. Oviedo e-bike arrest. A News 6 clip covered an 11-year-old in Oviedo who got a written arrest for riding a Sur-Ron-style electric dirt bike near Sweetwater Park. He bought it with $900 from selling squirrel picnic tables. The charges were an unregistered vehicle, no insurance, no motorcycle endorsement, and no eye protection. His father called it an overreach, and the boy will miss school for court. Tom recalled his brother getting a written arrest for riding a dirt bike on the street.

12. Officer interview: e-bike law. A BDM police officer (name unclear in the transcript) called in:

    • The crackdown follows a wave of crashes and kids getting hurt, plus newer statutes that classify e-bikes.
    • With working pedals it's a bicycle. With the pedals removed it's a motor vehicle. Fake pedals may get riders by some officers.
    • Enforcement is at the officer's discretion: a civil infraction with a misdemeanor consequence.
    • Registering a Sur-Ron takes blinkers, lights, and a plate. Dan's old scooter has only an antique tag.
    • Stand-up scooters are speed-regulated, and OneWheels are unregulated. You can get a DUI on anything motorized.
    • Adults can be charged for letting an unlicensed minor drive.
    • Traffic court has a hearing officer, not prosecutors. Seminole County is stricter than Orange.

    Afterward the hosts wondered how their Miami friend Turkey Leg, who rides one, would react.

13. Wu-Tang concert recap. Ross described the night:

    • Bone Thugs-n-Harmony opened with medleys, including an Eazy-E tribute and a Biggie and Tupac tribute.
    • RZA gave a spoken history of the group, then the set ran through 36 Chambers material and solo spots for Method Man, Ghostface, Raekwon, Cappadonna, and a Mobb Deep member.
    • Method Man showed off his physique and hair, which set up the TRT joke.
    • There was a memorial tribute to late rappers.
    • The reveal: ODB's parts were performed by his son, Young Dirty Bastard. His mother tried to steer him away from music, and RZA didn't cast him in the American Saga series.
    • The hosts traded ODB stories and tried, unsuccessfully, to play a TRL clip.

14. Seacrest and aging. A host's parents cut cable and now use an antenna for NFL games, which means catching Ryan Seacrest on Wheel of Fortune. The crew discussed Seacrest's changed face, weight loss versus cosmetic work, and his frosted tips at his age. Vanna White came up too. Tom said he's getting gray streaks and would dye his hair, which got jokes about jet-black "magician hair."

15. Elizabeth Holmes documentary. Nathan Fielder's secretive Holmes documentary screened at a festival with breathless reviews but no specifics. It's rated R for graphic nudity. The leading theory was that it includes a childbirth video. The crew expected a three-hour absurdist art piece and joked about betting on its reception on Kalshi. They noted a trailer scene where her husband takes the whisk from her while she's making eggs. Ross's theory: the story turns to Holmes cheating on him. That led to a tangent on Italian brainrot videos, Skibidi Toilet being over, "6-7," and how much Fortnite has changed.

16. Break: pop punk block. Rivals' "Adrenaline Rush," the Modern PI read, and Cartel.

17. "Mother of the Year" video. In a viral Giants broadcast clip, a mom juggles a baby, a carrier, and stacks of food and drinks back to her seat while her husband sits idle, and the announcers roast him.

    • Tom defended the dad, saying partners who don't ask for help end up making the other person look bad. The others ribbed him for how he phrased it.
    • Dan described Andrea handing off their daughter at Magic and Orlando City games so she could take a break.
    • Ross offered a gentler defense, citing $25 concert beers and sending his wife to the beer tent.
    • Dan shared Andrea's backhanded compliment that she's glad he drinks less, but "even this one scares me."

18. Dripstick product. Ross got a targeted ad after Monday's cruise talk about tampons. The product is Awkward Essentials' Dripstick, a post-sex sponge applicator. The hosts read the instructions, then argued at length about hygiene and peeing after sex. Dan explained his cleanup routine, and Tom compared it to cleaning a paint sprayer or a beer line. The product's FAQ recommends peeing afterward anyway. The punchline was a "69 for $69" deal, which gave the episode its title, plus a joke return address on the "discreet packaging."

19. Caller Toad King. Last call of the day: a crude one-liner about the post-sex topic, with nothing substantive.

20. Tom's crazy fact: snakebites. The US averages about 5 snakebite deaths a year, and Tom asked the crew to guess India's number. The answer is about 58,000, mostly rural. The crew discussed the colonial snake-bounty story (often called an urban legend), India's "big four" venomous snakes, the Monsters of God documentary, and a story about someone stealing a nearly extinct tortoise breeding population.

21. Plugs and wrap. Ross plugged The Orlando Talk Show and the Moe Comedy Jam. The cruise price increase got a reminder, and they announced Villain Roasters' new location with a possible Tom & Dan chicken-and-waffle item and a meetup.

• Today (Friday): Garth Brooks at the Kia Center, with the crew attending as Moe DeWitt's guests. The Family Business Limited's new album is out.
• Next Tuesday: Court date for the Oviedo 11-year-old in the e-bike case.
• Monday: Next show.
• October 9 and 10: Trail of Terror, Peghorn Nature Preserve, St. Cloud.
• The 17th (month not specified): Moe Comedy Jam at the Orlando Funny Bone (formerly the Improv), hosted by Ross McCoy and Larry Helms, with Will Blalock, Amy LaCour, and Sean Fenergate. Tickets at MoeComedyJam.com. Tom, Dan, and Colette will be there.
• October 16 and 17: Trail of Terror.
• October 23 and 24: Trail of Terror. These late dates are expected to sell fastest. Tickets are $15 in advance or $20 at the door via TomandDan.com.
• Soon: Villain Roasters opening in the former Goombay spot in Satellite Beach, with a possible Tom & Dan chicken-and-waffle item and a meetup.
• Ongoing: Bart Marek Team at barttherealtor.com. Modern PI at modernpi.com (10% off). Just Call Moe at justcallmoe.com. The Orlando Talk Show. Easy Moe with Joe (Moe DeWitt, DeWitt Law Firm, and Joe Byrne, Byrne Pest Control).
• Up to a couple of months before sailing: Cruise deposits are fully refundable.
• Thursday, September 23 to Sunday, September 26, 2027: Seaz Nuts 2027 Tom & Dan Cruise on the MSC Seashore. Deposits at tomanddancruise2027.com. Balcony cabins are now in a second block at $20 more.

• Ross McCoy: In-studio guest for the full show. He's a comedian and host of The Orlando Talk Show.
• Bart Marek: Sponsor call-in with the real estate market update.
• Cara: Caller who was a nanny for a top 90s makeup artist, with stories about Garth's team and Faith Hill's baby shower.
• BDM Charles: Caller asking for Kia Center parking tips before taking his wife to Garth for their 23rd anniversary.
• BDM police officer (name unclear in the transcript): Phone guest who explained Florida e-bike, scooter, and OneWheel rules and traffic court.
• Toad King: Last caller of the day, with a crude one-liner.

Indulge in the finest moments of the award-winning talk radio show, "A Corporate Time with Tom & Dan," airing weeknights on Real Radio 104.1 FM. As one of the pioneering FM talk radio stations, Real Radio 104.1 has been a trailblazer, and Tom & Dan have been the captivating voice of the reluctant night show. Why reluctant, you ask? Well, after two decades in the radio industry, they've experienced its unforgiving nature, but they've gracefully transformed it into a realm of delightful silliness. Thank you for being a part of their journey and tuning in!