A Table at the Tan-O: Conversations About the World of General Hospital

Well, another Olympics in the books, and Gia and Keisha are full of woe. And also donuts and watermelon (donuts: Keisha; watermelon: Gia). Or is General Hospital just falling a little flat? Of course, after someone crashes through a poorly constructed window into a hotel pool overrun by locals, there is going to be a bit of a lull. A toweling off period. Still, everyone seems tongue-tied. Except for Maxie. But she can't be everywhere, providing a running commentary on everyone's bad decisions, although that would be awesome. Let's hope somehow Maxie's energy and sass can spread throughout Port Charles, or else give her a major storyline because she is a star. Also, Gia was very happy to see Brennan all settled into the Metro Court (apparently he didn't hear about the defective windows), but Keisha isn't there yet.

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Finally! Donna is getting the help she needs for that excessive cheeriness. JK. Finally, Sonny is getting the help he needs, sort of. A mix of Kevin and Jason. A good cop, good enforcer approach to mental health. Why not?!! And lovely to see Morgan, but it wasn't enough. Just enough to remind us how much we miss him. Meanwhile, Ava is wearing a sweatshirt! Criminal. A sweatshirt. Ava. Wow. Jagger doesn't seem to mind. He's hopeless. Kristina, Molly, and TJ are in hell. Three separate hells. How much will this loss change them? Plus, where the hell is Blaze?

P.S. Gia and Keisha continue to provide their take on the Paris Olympics. Take notes, Mike Tirico.

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Oh the sadness. Poor Kristina! Poor, poor, poor Kristina! And Molly. Not so much TJ. Will Kristina survive? And if she survives, will she be able to get past this terrible loss? Molly blames Sonny, and TJ blames Kristina, but will they eventually blame each other? And who will help Sonny? Would he feel better if, as Gia suggests, James Taylor's version of "Up on the Roof" was playing in the background? Possibly. Or maybe he would prefer the original by The Drifters? We'll probably never know. But two things are abundantly clear: 1.) TJ is a real jerk, and 2.) The Metro Court should be facing some stiff fines. 

Also, Gia and Keisha are celebrating the Olympic athletes (from their couches), and they hope you are too!

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Well, the heat is getting to Keisha, and Gia is all full of feelings because Jagger continues to forget to wear clothes and Brennan is out of the clink, so it's only a matter of time before he will be wandering around in a towel too. All of this is to say that the girls are perhaps not performing at the level our Olympic athletes are. Speaking of sports, how about that dive Kristina took? The entry into the water could have been cleaner, but otherwise a solid effort. If she's seriously hurt, Molly, TJ, Sam, Alexis, and Jordan will feel like real stinkers. As they should. And Sonny might finally come completely unglued, possibly making Ava feel like a stinker for continuing to deprive him of his meds. Possibly. So a lot of people looking to medal in the competition for Big Stinker. They might need a bigger podium. Also, have we seen the end of Pikeman? That would be more exciting than Carly making it to Wiley's pool party (not how Keisha would celebrate).

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So how unpleasant are Molly and TJ? Yeesh. Luckily, they haven't spent time talking to Kristina's belly, or that kid would never come out. And then there's Ava. How scary must she be to think it's okay to tell people she's been watching Sonny walk around undermedicated? Although he continues to impress with his powers of perception (occasionally). Michael is going to have his hands full if he has to maintain alliances with both Sonny and Nina. If he can manage that, maybe he should get custody of Molly and TJ's baby. The good news is, Friday and Monday were Drew-free! And (if you're Gia) Jagger took his shirt off.

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Rose = Tracy, Ned, Sasha, Dante, Maxie, Laura, Felicia, and a lot of other people. Thorn = Drew. Just Drew. How long before Willow starts seeing him as just a big old creep? And sure, there are people who are becoming thorns (Jagger, Ava, Molly, TJ,....), and others who will always be both rose and thorn (Sonny? Nina? Valentin?), but who will prevail? Who will end up in jail? Carly? Hard to imagine. Sonny? Slightly easier to imagine. Drew? Well, his only crime so far is that he's a massive tool, but we can dream, right?

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Lots of nice moments in Port Charles lately (mostly)! Cody and Tracy. Gio and Tracy. Laura and Dante (and a headless body plus a wig). Joss and Trina. Ava and Scotty (well, that's where it got a little dicey). Diane, Sonny, and Michael (more of a nice moment turned hostile). But, overall, high marks across the board. Still, Gia would like the record to show that James would not wear a cowboy hat while riding at the Quartermaine's. And also, she wishes the props department could have chosen something other than a fragile turtle dove with no means of being displayed properly as a cherished memento (which Trina somehow misplaced without even realizing it). And Keisha would like less ruffles on clothing. Otherwise, good job everyone!

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Good news, America, World, and, of course, Portugal! Gia had to rush off to a gig, so she and Keisha really tried to stay focused and not waste time on pointless digressions. You've probably already figured out what the bad news is. Although it could have been much worse (some would say). They did manage to address, well, dresses. Mostly Natalia's, which they estimated was constructed from 47 or more bedsheets. And Anna's, which neither G nor K would look good in, and, though it did look good on Anna, may have come from the GH lost and found. Which also contains a deck of tarot cards (incomplete), and a Pikeman employee manual (which is actually blank inside). Keisha discussed some scenes which she believed contained Sparkle Pony moments, and Gia disagreed. Neither of them liked the track suit Lois was wearing. And now for the bad news. Gia found time to reiterate her belief that, when it comes to underwear, everyone should have a deep bench (e.g., underwear for weed whacking should come from further down the bench, whereas underwear for, say, breaking Brennan out of Pentonville should come from the starting lineup). It's possible the analogy wears a little thin (weed whacking underwear thin). But the real takeaway should be that, as important as underwear is, it isn't as important as General Hospital. 

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So Nina got to smack Drew first! And smack him she did. Hopefully that was the first of many slaps and/or knuckle sandwiches coming his way. But nice mother-daughter moment for Willow and Nina? We'll see. And Anna has once again demonstrated she is not a good spy. Jason will have to handcuff her to a radiator or fix her some coq au vin if her wants her cooperation. Plus, Charlotte is back, and who knows if she is a good Cassadine. Papa certainly isn't. Brennan knows just how bad he is. How bad is Brennan? Does Carly know what she's doing, or is she just one of those ladies who likes a fella who is always going to be right where she left him?

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Gia and Keisha would like to ask the writers to try a little harder. But in a friendly way. They don't need to be punished with more pep rallies for Drew. Please. But if more attention could be paid to Sonny's undermedicated state? Of course, you have to be careful what you wish for. G and K don't want anything really terrible to happen. Maybe he could just start walking around shirtless like Cody? That could be fun. Also, is Portia supposed to be just a big mosquito? Maybe she and Jordan could finally get the fully developed character treatment? With professional and personal lives? Why not give it a try? Thanks!

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