Abject Suffering

Hey everyone, remember Doug? The nineties, am I right? Oh man, life is a grim chore.

Listeners essentially listen to a podcast, and audio program released over the internet, about an ostensibly bad but actually good video game for the Gameboy called Fish Dude. Long story short, and stated as simply as possible, this is a wonderful compliment to video games the world round.

BREAKING NEWS: Babe Ruth sinks a fly ball right into the cerebral cortex of Joseph Goebbels in this alternate universe where balls are the new phallic symbol.

Gather 'round and hear a tale of how two guys can't decide why they don't like anime.

Cat*fish [kat-fish]: noun. 1. any of various fishes having a fancied resemblance to a cat. verb (used without object), verb (used with object) 2. Slang. to deceive, swindle, etc. by assuming a false identity or personality online: "He fell in love with her online before he realized he'd been catfished." 3. Slang. to advertise that your game has sweet wizards and skeletons and then have the game not deliver on that promise. "He fell in love with the box to Hydlide before he realized that the game inside was Hydlide."

GENERAL MILLS MEMORANDUM: All Staff. For several fiscal reporting periods, we've all felt the systemic pressure on the Chex brand that arises due to the close relationship between the corn-square vertical and the dairy vertical. If you will open the nearest box of Chex, you will see the results of our new corporate initiative to demonize milk and the phlegm it causes. And you'll also get 50 free hours of America Online.

Job Posting: NEEDED - Tone Lōc Lookalike (or: Lōcalike). Does not need to sound like Tone Lōc, I will cover the auditory portion of the ruse. Need to handle infestation of Bébé's kids at my theme park. Will pay in funnel cakes and ride vouchers. Call between 7am and 4pm, ask for "Rap Man".

Text found on a flyer of a Bronx corner store: "HEY, YOU KIDS. DROP YOU'RE CYBADEKS AND STOP CONTRIBUTIN TO THE DEGRADATION'S OF SOCIETY. THE NEXT CYPADEK I SEE IS GOING RIGHT IN THE GARBAGE" and then the rest is torn off.

We're tired of it. Being pushed around, look down upon, treated like garbage. One day, soon, we're going to... oh god, we're bugs now. Fortune, and good mojo, have ordained that our 50th episode be about a good game that one of us actually played to completion!

Script Treatment: Duck Generations. EXT. -- DAY: Donald, Scrooge, Darkwing, and Jason Alexander waddle into a liquor store, shades perched precariously on their bill. Each squawks incomprehensibly, as if trying to out-fury each other. ECU on a nervous clerk's face as they flock toward the corn liquor. The streets would be rowdy.