Absurdist News

Ready for your goat to get got? Well Dave is ringing in 2020 with 5 goat related news articles as Marks and Max try not to get their goats got. I refuse to believe that phrase actually is used. Please help me prove this.

Topics include: Goat armed robbery, sex goats ain't scared, pistol whipping passengers, pig goat bonding, goat sacrifice.

Happy New Year! I hope everyone's ready for YEAR 2 OF ABSURDIST NEWS! Bringing in 2020 is Marks with 5 New Year's Eve/Day stories with Dave and Max trying to figure out which one is fake news. Topics include: Science shenanigans, holiday crime, monorail fun times, roadkill, age does matter.

Welcome to the holiday special episode of Absurdist News! The Max "The Holiday Specialist" Vieweg brings 5 joyful Christmas news articles to Dave and Marks as they try and figure out which one is naughty.

Topics include: drug quality sniffing dogs, kg of electricity, faux trees, nativity mistakes, environmental Santa.

Happy holidays! Get ready for some snow. Marks hosts this drug fueled episode while Dave and Max reveal in the stories and honestly, seem to care more about the concept than the articles.

Topics: Spider-Coke-Man, accidental airport disaster, gamer cocaine market, White Christmas, complicated words.

We at Absurdist News like to get ahead of ourselves and start doing holiday themed episodes a little early. Sue us. Dave takes Marks and Max down the candy-cane trail of Santa related news. Topics include: how many ho's, copyrighting Santa, mall Santa attacks, fat shaming, and emergency Santa cursing.

Ready for your teeth to be cleaned? Marks brings up 5 toothachey stories, that Max and Dave have to figure out which tooth has a cavity. Then remove it. Also beware gingivitis.

Topics Include: Charcoal Toothpaste, slidin' in the DMs, Old Town Road, the shakes, dog dentist.

Bet you're probably wondering what this one's about aren't you. Well Max (Marcus Wong) takes Marks (Max Vieweg) and Dave (D. Titty) into the wonderful land of food stories. Oddly we talk about alot of drugs too.

Topics include: Really good branding, belly button beer, opium noodles, Saudi Arabian delicacies, and fake restaurants.

It was bound to happen, and it finally did. This week Dave dives into 5 Florida woman stories to try and throw off Max and Marks on their hunt to fin the fake article. This one gets wild.

Topics include: maid of honor hit and run, cuddling problems, sandwich invasion, 77 thousand stupids, the nibbler.

Time to be happy! Ish. Marks brings 5 news articles for Max and Dave to discuss, all about bringing smiles to your faces. Or something along those lines. Topics include: the power of money, dogs vs cats, spouses, abducted babies, whale watching

Weird relationships! You know a couple people in them. Well get ready cause Dave is bringing 5 weird news stories about really weird relationships. Time for Marks and Max to figure out just how weird people get when they get hitched.

Topics include: rat gold digger, shazz the plane boyfriend, pillow marriage, the Idea of Pizza, Tetris > math.