ADtempted

The Adtempted crew, and special guest Duane, find a positive use for the Xenomorph from the movie “Alien” and create an out of this world campaign to bring it to market. Will it be used as a mask, the most dangerous game, or perhaps an out of this world home security system?

The post ADtempt 005 – Xenomorphs (Alien) appeared first on ADtempted.

Enter the wizarding world of Harry Potter with John, Chris, Sam and special guest Andi Hendrickson as they create a brand new dating service, and decide if owls should wear bowties (spoiler: they absolutely should).

Chris Hanna 0:00
Alright guys, it’s time to introduce today’s special guest!

Future Chris 0:06
Hello podcasters of the past I’m honored to be back in this the year 2020.

Chris Hanna 0:11
Welcome to the show, Future Chris! did you have any trouble finding the place and or time?

Sam McKinney 0:16
Chris, you can’t be your own special guest. You’re breaking every rule of space time.

John Fish 0:20
Yeah man, and like several rules of podcasting.

Chris Hanna 0:23
Sorry, I just got inspired by today’s time traveling product from the world’s favorite wizarding franchise.

John Fish 0:29
All right, Lord of the Rings!

No, Harry Potter. Now say goodbye to Future Chris before existence as we know it ends.

Chris Hanna 0:37
Fine. See you soon, you handsome devil you!

Welcome back to ADtempted, where we make ads for things that don’t really need them. I’m Chris and I’m a copy wiz.

I’m Sam and I think art is magical.

John Fish 0:52
I’m John and i write things.

Chris Hanna 0:55
Today’s actual special guest is a big friend of the podcast whose kick ass copywriting skills are surpassed only by her passion for all things Harry Potter, and maybe also the Ohio State Buckeyes. Andi Hendrickson, welcome to ADtempted!

Andi Hendrickson 1:11
Hi guys. Happy to be here.

Chris Hanna 1:13
Yay!

John Fish 1:14
As always, here’s the game plan. We’re going to start by sharing our insights and thoughts starters. And then we’ll collaborate on a direction execute a campaign and finally presented to you our audience. What’s the product today, Andi?

Andi Hendrickson 1:26
Today we’re going to be tackling Time Turner’s from Harry Potter. For all you muggles out there, the Time Turner is a magical device that allows the user to travel back in time. The more you twist, the farther back you go. There are limits however, so that the fabric of time will stay intact and that you-know-who can never return. Featured prominently in the Prisoner of Azkaban, the device has great potential for good, or evil, or for a much longer nap. And today, we’re going to be targeting the general population, but we’re also challenging ourselves to come up with some non traditional uses for the Time Turner.

Sam McKinney 2:01
Just so you guys know, time travel is a complicated subject filled with paradoxical nuances that we don’t have time to explore. So here are some basic ground rules that we are following. The rest, we aren’t worried about. One, they can only travel back in time a maximum of five hours. Two, it will not allow you to change past events, and three, you cannot interact directly with yourself.

Chris Hanna 2:21
Wait, it only goes back five hours. I thought it let you go to any time for five hours.

Ah, shoot, me too. Guess my insights might get cut for time. Dang.

Snape 2:35
Mysterious thing, time. Powerful, and when meddled with, dangerous.

Chris Hanna 2:43
Alrighty Sam, why don’t you kick us off.

Sam McKinney 2:45
Alright, my first insight: having trouble finding a nice babysitter you can trust? With a Time Turner, You can just be your own babysitter. Go out, have your fun, but also spend time with your children. It’s the best of both worlds. Next one is: accidentally break your grandmother’s priceless heirloom? Robbed a magical bank run by goblins? Murdered a sniveling classmate? Give yourself an alibi with a Time Turner. You couldn’t have been the one who did it if you were over at Billy’s the whole time.

Chris Hanna 3:12
I like the idea of like, “Oh no, I just robbed a magical bank run by goblins, whatever will I do?”

Sam McKinney 3:19
It happens. I know I’ve done it once or twice. And then the last one: not getting enough work in? Wish there was more hours in the day? Can’t seem to find time to start that fifth sixth or seventh project you’ve been planning? You’ve got all the time in the world, and then some. Time Turner’s: for the workaholic in your life. That one is personally really close to my heart.

Andi Hendrickson 3:41
Same!

Chris Hanna 3:42
I was gonna say, is that one aimed at yourself, Sam?

Sam McKinney 3:47
My wife tells me I’m a workaholic all the time, so. Inspired by me.

John Fish 3:52
I mean, my wife even says you’re a workaholic, So.

Chris Hanna 3:57
Even my wife says you’re a work-No, just kidding. The one that I’m drawn the most to is the alibi one because I feel like there are so many different like scenarios for people who could use an alibi for something. And there’s a lot of really funny like opportunities to be like, made a mistake? unmake it with Time Turner’s or something like that.

Sam McKinney 4:18
Yeah. It’s a fun one.

Andi Hendrickson 4:21
The two-timers device. No, I wasn’t out with Becky I was over, you know, hanging with the guys at the bar. Everyone can vouch for you. Done.

John Fish 4:33
That’s funny, actually, if we turn it into like, the ultimate cheating device.

Chris Hanna 4:39
I actually thought about that at one point. I was like, it’s the perfect device for like cheating on your significant other but I was like, No, I don’t want to endorse that. There’s already a whole website, business, What is that thing? Ashleymadison.com?

John Fish 4:53
Oh, don’t act like you didn’t know, Chris.

Sam McKinney 4:55
It could be sponsored by Ashley Madison.

Chris Hanna 4:58
Speaking of, today’s sponsor is, no, just kidding. Andi, why don’t you kick us off with the next one?

Andi Hendrickson 5:05
Sure. So my insights for the Time Turner: the first one is you can be the super parent you always wish you could be. No more missed recitals or baseball games and your kids don’t have to question if you’re playing favorites based on whose event you go to. The time turner lets you be the best parent you can be, wherever you’re needed.

And my second one: time travel for the time crunched traveler, Paris in a day, all the rides at all five Disney World kingdoms, the Time Turner makes it possible. Visit the Eiffel Tower while you’re waiting in line at the Louvre, sample wine and cheese at Epcot while dueling with Darth Vader. All it takes is a little planning and a few twists of your travel friendly Time Turner.

Chris Hanna 5:48
That one sounds like a next level like Fastpass.

Andi Hendrickson 5:52
Yeah, exactly, except we should probably switch it to Universal considering, you know. Harry Potter.

Sam McKinney 6:01
That’s true.

Unknown Speaker 6:02
And then my final insight: Let’s be real, dating sucks. How much time have you wasted on a crappy date? Time Turner’s are a more efficient way to find the one. Instead of escaping out the bathroom window on a bad date, use your Time Turner and swipe right on somebody new. Want to double your efforts? Visit two bars at once.

Chris Hanna 6:25
So has anyone ever escaped out of a bathroom window on a bad date?

Andi Hendrickson 6:33
No!

John Fish 6:33
These are fun. I like these, Andi.

Andi Hendrickson 6:36
Thanks.

Chris Hanna 6:37
Yeah, I love the time travel for the time crunched traveler. I feel like there’s so many opportunities for like tongue twisting copy in there.

Andi Hendrickson 6:46
And I feel like it’s a very applicable use of a Time Turner that isn’t- like it’s marketable. You can do more on a shorter vacation. Who wouldn’t want that?

Chris Hanna 6:58
Yeah. And you could even do that, like a partnership with Harry Potter World and be like, need to see it all? Way quicker-

Andi Hendrickson 7:05
the Fast Pass for Universal.

Chris Hanna 7:07
There you go! We’re finally gonna be able to compete with Disneyland.

Sam McKinney 7:14
Perfect.

John Fish 7:14
I think, I think one common thread that I find with, with these three, too or like almost like, be the best you. Like it allows you to be the best person. Like you’re able to be the best traveler, or be the super parent, you know. So I think that could be a cool-

Chris Hanna 7:30
I was gonna say be the best persons!

John Fish 7:32
Persons.

Chris Hanna 7:33
Because you’re basically creating multiple versions of yourself.

John Fish 7:36
Oh, trippy.

Yeah, I like that.

Andi Hendrickson 7:41
All right, John, let’s see what you got.

John Fish 7:44
All right. Uh, as stated in the beginning, this will be cut for time. But I’m gonna read that, I’m gonna read all three of these just because I thought they were funny. The third one is the one that will work. Alright. See all the people again who you never wanted to see, again. You ever think, boy, wouldn’t it be nice if I could see people from high school I never wanted to see you again? Or relive that moment in elementary school where your bully made fun of you for having a tiny nose? Yeah, I thought so. So even though you don’t want to relive or revisit those ghosts from your past, now you can, with the Time Turner. Never forget.

Sam McKinney 8:24
So is this like going back in time and getting revenge?

John Fish 8:28
It’s really just going back, it’s just like saying like, yeah, you probably don’t want to go back in time. But you can.

Chris Hanna 8:34
I was gonna say I feel like this one could still work with a simple tweak. Instead of going back to like, meet your, like elementary school bully, you could spend like five hours going to see like what they’re up to nowadays. So it’s almost like a high school reunion that you don’t have to waste your time on.

John Fish 8:52
Ooooh. That’s kind of funny. And you kind of have like, it’s kind of like a roll of the dice. Like maybe the person is like a failure, but maybe they’re also ultra successful.

Chris Hanna 9:00
Yeah, and you could even apply it to being like, your ex like, if you really wanted to see like what your ex was up to. You could spend like five hours like stalking them and finding out and then you can come back to the present. And hey, you baked a pie and you also found out that your ex is dating someone who’s way less interesting than you. Score.

Andi Hendrickson 9:20
It’s Instagram stalking, in real life.

John Fish 9:24
All right, well, speaking of stalking, that’s my next insight: stalk yourself. Stalking is fun, but it is also a misdemeanor and for some reason looked down upon in our society. However, there is a perfectly legal way you can stalk yourself. Go back in time to watch yourself in those intimate moments of your first bath. Your first sleep over. Those awkward moments of you finding yourself. Sure, this may sound creepy, but if you are stalking yourself, there is no harm in that. With a Time Turner, you can always be there.

Chris Hanna 9:57
Oh my gosh. I love that line so much. You can always Be there.

Again, I think this one is it could still work. You just restricted to five hours. So like, the way I’m imagining you could use it is like, let’s say you went on like a job interview. And you just like, totally, you know, sucked at it. You could go back and you could like, watch yourself from another room and be like, Oh, so that’s why, you know, I did terribly. I like lifted a middle finger something.

John Fish 10:25
Chris, that was a quick fix, but I do kind of like that. I know, I would obviously we would change it from stalk yourself to something a little bit more- Like always better yourself or something because you’re just learning from your mistakes.

Chris Hanna 10:38
Yeah. And I think that’s actually a really powerful insight. Because, you know, I know when I was back in like college and I wanted to be an actor, a thing that they would do is they would record our performances and then we would watch them back with like a partner, and we would talk about the things that we were doing and what we maybe needed to emphasize more on and what we needed to draw attention to, So, I think there’s a lot of applicable situations for stalking yourself. That’s a really cool insight.

John Fish 11:06
Yeah. Okay.

Chris Hanna 11:07
All right.

Andi Hendrickson 11:08
As long as you’re not seen.

Chris Hanna 11:10
As long as you’re not seen, that’s true, so you gotta be a good stalker to trick even your past self.

John Fish 11:17
Only the best stalkers…

Sam McKinney 11:19
Free stalking classes with every purchase.

John Fish 11:25
the nose and the glasses.

You know what I’m talking- Okay, anyway.

Yeah, thank you for that pity laugh, appreciate it.

Relive the moments. We all have those moments, the moments singed into your memory because of the feeling they made you feel. They are the best moments in life. Like the time you caught the game winning ball in the baseball game, your wedding day or even the day your first child was born. These are the moments that burn bright in our memory. Rewatch them shortly after they happen so you can make sure your memory will hold these moments close to your heart.

Chris Hanna 11:58
So I want to touch on Something else that I thought about but didn’t put in here. There is this, you know, common like, I guess like area of research that talks about how the sooner and more frequently you can review things in your life, the better you’ll remember them. And you can also stage off, potentially, things like Alzheimer’s and dementia. So that’s a pretty cool way to do that.

Andi Hendrickson 12:23
Wow, that’s really powerful. Time Turner’s: the anti dementia tool you never knew you needed.

Chris Hanna 12:29
Yeah. And it’s it’s sort of like a journal that you can like, go back, you know, five hours in your day and sort of like review it. And I guess, like better encode the things that you want to encode. Hopefully, it’s a good memory. If not, it would be really crappy to have to go back and relive awful moments of your life.

John Fish 12:47
Yeah, I think like, it’s interesting. To that point, Chris, that you’re mentioning it about Alzheimer’s and memory and stuff. I’ve read also that in today’s society where we’re able to take a photo of everything, it’s actually like hindering our memory. Because since we’re taking photos, it’s like our brain is like, Oh, we don’t need to like, remember it, you just throw it out the window. So it’s kind of it’s very memory and time and this whole entire podcast is going to be super interesting. But um.

All right, so let’s pass this along to the man himself, Chris.

Chris Hanna 13:24
I love how I’m the man! Alrighty, so my first one I’m calling it: speed through life’s shit. Puberty got you down? Need to get through a 24 hour flu quickly? Wish you could just be an inch taller to go on those big kids rides with your friends? Well, you don’t need patience, you need a Time Turner. Now you can speed through the crappy parts of being human without adding on to your numerical age or missing moments that matter. You can beat time at its own cruel, cruel game with the Time Turner. My thinking with this is because your body probably still ages while you’re in the past, you can just accumulate that time and basically age yourself faster by going back in time and then coming back to the present.

Sam McKinney 14:08
Yeah, that make I didn’t it didn’t make sense at first. But once you explain that, that definitely makes sense.

Chris Hanna 14:14
Yeah. And then the second one, live your best double life. They say the grass is always greener on the other side. But now’s the time to find out for yourself. Whether it’s pursuing a second career your family wouldn’t approve of, or having another family all together, the Time Turner is the best way to explore another life without sacrificing the one you already have. It’s time to turn your what ifs into what is.

Sam McKinney 14:37
Nice. There’s your cheating.

Chris Hanna 14:39
You know me, I’m always trying to figure out how to have a double life.

Hermoine Granger 14:42
This is a Time Turner, Harry. McGonigal gave it to me the first time. This is how I’ve been getting to my lessons all year.

Harry Potter 14:51
You mean you go back in time?

Hermoine Granger 14:52
Yes.

Chris Hanna 14:53
Okay, so we have a lot of really cool ideas going here. What are you guys thinking about it?

Sam McKinney 14:59
I think it breaks down to get more done, be more efficient, or don’t waste your time kind of thing.

Chris Hanna 15:10
Yeah, I do kind of like the Don’t waste your time angle. And the thing that at least like resonated with me the most was Andi’s idea about the like dating, and how you know, like, if you do have a bad date, you can just sort of go on and like do another thing, like focusing on these tasks that are activities that exists within this five hour time span that you can sort of like get back your time for doing them, even if they don’t like work out, you can do something else. And I think that there’s a lot of opportunities for that idea.

Sam McKinney 15:47
Theme Song is Cher’s turn back time.

Andi Hendrickson 15:51
Definitely.

Chris Hanna 15:53
Sam’s always bringing in the Cher references on this podcast.

Sam McKinney 15:57
Always.

Chris Hanna 15:58
What are you thinking about, John?

John Fish 16:00
Don’t know, I think it’s, I think this is a tool for bettering yourself, whether that’s being the best parent, or giving yourself more time to do, work on things. I think those are the angles that I’m gravitating towards. Not not obviously not self help, but like a tool, right? The tool that can make you better. I don’t know, that’s, that’s where I’m thinking where I’m landing kind of right now. How about yourself? How about you, Andi?

Andi Hendrickson 16:32
I think that we’re definitely sort of all on the same page when it comes to this thing can help you manage your time better just by giving you more time to do whatever it is you need to do, whether that’s date more people, get more work done, or, you know, find a way to make yourself better at what you are doing.

Chris Hanna 16:54
I will also say that in terms of just like unexpectedness, I do like the idea of, you know, using this to like be a dating device rather than like anything else. And there’s all of this like, awareness around speed dating, and we could totally rebrand the concept of speed dating into our own sort of version of like time dating or something like that.

Andi Hendrickson 17:18
That’s an interesting angle: new speed dating.

Sam McKinney 17:22
That is pretty funny. It’s like don’t waste your time on speed dating, make time to date or something like that.

Chris Hanna 17:27
Make your own time to date.

John Fish 17:30
without going too far down into the rabbit hole, here, how many times can you go back in time? Right like so like, I can go back in time five hours. But then can the person that’s at the date go back in time five hours at the same time that I’m going back in time five hours?

Chris Hanna 17:46
Yeah, so you could be involved in a situation where it’s like, a double blind Time Turner dates where both of you are dating each other using Time Turner’s.

John Fish 17:56
Right, this sounds like a rom com waiting to be made.

Chris Hanna 18:01
Alright guys, shut it down. We’re making a movie.

Andi Hendrickson 18:06
Somebody called Warner Brothers.

Chris Hanna 18:09
Yeah. Do we want to explore the dating route? Or do we want to find something that’s maybe a little more broad?

Sam McKinney 18:14
Well, I’m trying to think of the speed dating and stuff like that. And it’s, the phrase that comes to mind is timeless. Like, timeless is something that lasts for forever, because it’s always like, like Apple’s timeless, that logo, all that stuff, but what if it was timeless and it doesn’t take any time and we’ve flipped that part on its head. And that kind of fits in with the dating, kind of fits in with getting stuff done without wasting any time. That kind of idea?

Chris Hanna 18:41
Yeah, I like that idea a lot. And I think timeless is also a very romantic word, when you think about it.

Sam McKinney 18:49
Yeah.

Andi Hendrickson 18:49
I think that’s a really interesting way to flip the word timeless and really give it new meaning. That’s cool.

Chris Hanna 18:56
John, do you wanna pursue this route?

John Fish 18:58
I have one qualm with this route. And the fact the only part is, is that it’s just a little specific.

Chris Hanna 19:03
Mm hmm.

John Fish 19:04
Or as it can be used for so many things like, I feel like this is one I feel like this is more like, executionally. Like this could be one execution of how we sell this, you know what I mean?

Chris Hanna 19:14
Mm hmm.

Sam McKinney 19:14
Well, the the brief we set out was to find a non-traditional use for this product. So it’s-

John Fish 19:20
okay.

Sam McKinney 19:21
It’s like taking this time travel and then marketing it in a way that is something that would not be marketed before, so it could potentially be pretty specific, if we wanted to hone in on that, because if we keep it too broad, it’s still a Time Turner.

John Fish 19:34
Right, That’s true. And that’s where this this product can get sticky, I suppose too. Well, then yeah, I say we pursue this and see where we go if that’s what everyone else is, is thinking too.

Chris Hanna 19:45
Alrighty, Let’s help people date better.

Dumbledore 19:49
Three turns should do it, I think.

Oh, by the way, when in doubt, I find retracing my steps to be a wise place to begin. Good luck.

Harry Potter 20:06
What the bloody hell was that all about?

Chris Hanna 20:10
Okay, so I guess I’m trying to think like the first place that my head goes to is obviously like a partnership with like a dating app. Because there’s all of these, you know, apps that can help you find people. And so it would only make sense that they would optimize their app to help you organize like, literally double dates, that you can go and like, two dates with like two different people at the same time.

Sam McKinney 20:35
That’s funny. Double dates is a fun way to do it. Do we want to keep the traditional form factor? Like it’s, we keep it as a device that you flip and turn or whatever or should we upgrade it to the modern age and make it a app like it works on your phone. You can download the app and do that?

Andi Hendrickson 20:52
Oh, the Time Turner app.

Chris Hanna 20:56
You just do it on your phone? Oh my gosh, we’re making people so powerful.

Sam McKinney 20:59
I mean, that is consideration, do we want to give them that much power?

Chris Hanna 21:02
Um, I kind of feel like we should stay true to the source material in the sense that it should be like a physical object that you have to keep on you. Right? Because otherwise, if you can just do it from a phone or an app, you could like, potentially do it from anywhere. And then you could just leave that app and then go and somewhere else, I don’t know, I feel like there has to be at least something that could indicate to the other person, “Oh, they’re somewhere else right now in our own timeline.”

Sam McKinney 21:32
Yeah, that make sense, and it’s good to control it and so that it doesn’t like not everyone is going back in time.

Andi Hendrickson 21:39
It’s kind of like the tokens and Inception, you know, you need the token to let you know where you are in space time. So the Time Turner- and then the Time Turner also helps keep track of that time so you can see how much more time you have.

Chris Hanna 21:54
Here’s a question from someone who is very much a muggle: Can you like let’s say you’ve gone back three hours and you’ve used an hour, can you, if you decide you don’t need those extra two hours, Can you speed through that? Or do you have to live through it?

Andi Hendrickson 22:08
Oh, that’s a good question. I’m not sure if you could just like turn it the opposite way to bring you back to the present.

Chris Hanna 22:13
Okay, because that’d be really cool. If you could then fast forward as well as like rewind. Anyway, I digress. Where also you guys thinking that this would live? Like where are you imagining people would be seeing this product?

Sam McKinney 22:28
In my mind, I’m thinking it’s like, so speed dating is set up in certain places, and you go there and they have the whole process. So maybe it’s more of a, like, you go to a place, like a bar that’s having this event and they give you Time Turners, so that you can go back in time, meet the person and then go back in time and switch around or something like that. So you have to go to a place.

Chris Hanna 22:55
So you’re kind of doing like a rental thing?

Sam McKinney 22:58
Yeah, because the product we’re selling, technically, in this situation is the dating process. Not the Time Turner.

Chris Hanna 23:05
Right. Have you guys seen that episode of Black Mirror where they have that dating simulation?

John Fish 23:11
Oh, yeah.

Chris Hanna 23:12
Yeah, so-

John Fish 23:13
That’s one of my favorites.

Chris Hanna 23:14
It kind of reminds me of that because in the episode, they basically set like a pre-determined amount of time for you to like spend with this person. And it might be like years, it might be a matter of like minutes. But it’s all sort of like organized that you can spend like a certain amount of time with this person because they think that you’re going to be compatible, or maybe you won’t be compatible. The whole episode is a total mindfuck. But this reminded me of that in the sense that we’re kind of telling people like, Hey, you should spend your time with this person. And it’s very dystopian, but maybe it’s the way of the future because there are a lot of fish in the sea. And to find your own, you gotta, you gotta go through it, you know?

Sam McKinney 23:57
Yeah. What if it’s like a first date kind of thing? We we focus on first dates because you never know how it goes you don’t want to get stuck for hours with this person and waste all that time. So you ask someone out on a first date, you go to this place you both do the time turner go back in time and then see if it works out. That way you aren’t wasting any time. And then if it does work out, you can just continue on in your relationship. But if not, you go your separate ways, you know, no time lost kind of thing.

Chris Hanna 24:24
That kind of reminds me of Hinge’s campaign right now, because the whole campaign is centered around the idea of like deleting the app. And I think there’s something really romantic about like, we don’t need our Time Turners anymore, we just want to spend normal time together. Ah,” there’s no time I’d rather be” AWWW!

Andi Hendrickson 24:44
I think we have to remember the benefit though of the Time Turner is the ability to be in two places at once.

Chris Hanna 24:49
Right. So it definitely sounds like something that you would be- I’m glad you brought that up Sam, because it sounds like we’re focusing in more on the people who are in like their first or second or third date, where they don’t want to like waste their time. And then after that they can just go and live their happy couple of lives.

Sam McKinney 25:09
Yeah.

Chris Hanna 25:09
Kewl. So obviously, we’re probably like marketing this product more to people who are like a little bit younger, people who probably like are still trying to like find their significant other. They probably have like a pretty busy lifestyle. Where do you think that those people would be? I know, Sam brought up that like, there could be like an event like a bar where you do like a speed dating sort of thing. Are you imagining this is a product that you could just like buy and own? Are you thinking it’s something that should be more regulated where it is, like rented out to you?

Andi Hendrickson 25:45
I think it really could go either way. If we wanted to try a more experiential sort of ad experience, then that would be more of a renting for an event or for a period of time versus a more traditional form of advertising, which would be to the general public that anyone could purchase it.

Chris Hanna 26:04
Right. So let’s explore maybe the, like two bars at once thing. The one thing I will say that I’m getting hung up on is, if you’re renting it at like a bar, you would have to go to a different bar in order to use this thing, because you can’t really be in the same bar once with your clone self.

Andi Hendrickson 26:25
Mm hmm.

Sam McKinney 26:25
Yeah.

Chris Hanna 26:26
So would it be sort of like a like a partnership thing, almost like a like a pub crawl sort of thing where you like start at this one place and then you can go to like whatever two bars you and the other person want to go to?

Andi Hendrickson 26:40
I think that’s why this may be makes more sense as like a one off product that you can just purchase yourself, because organizing a whole event with like 20 different Time Turner’s would probably be a good way to see yourself and then go insane,

Chris Hanna 26:56
Right.Okay. So it’s sort of like the product that you hopefully only need for like a short time when you’re going on crappy dates. And then once you’re done with it, you just sort of move on.

Sam McKinney 27:06
I want to jump in and say there is another possibility for this. Maybe it’s not like a group speed date kind of thing. Maybe it’s more like a high end dating service for like CEOs and doctors and stuff, people who basically don’t have the time to have relationships, because they have to work so much. So the second place is your, you’re working. But while you’re working, you’re also dating to find that one.

Chris Hanna 27:31
Oh, that’s really cool. Actually.

Andi Hendrickson 27:33
I love that. Matchmaking for the busy witcher-wizard.

Sam McKinney 27:38
For the workaholic.

Chris Hanna 27:40
You just got to get your idea in there somehow, Sam!

Sam McKinney 27:43
Yeah, of course.

John Fish 27:44
I like I like that, though, that’s fun.

Sam McKinney 27:46
Yeah, it could be some sort of date. Like all these different dating services are out there, why not make one for people who don’t have time?

Chris Hanna 27:53
So I like that a lot because it kind of helps us craft like the voice and more specifically who we’re targeting. And those people are just, you know, those who are probably like really dedicated to their careers, or they live some sort of lifestyle where they just don’t have a whole lot of extra free time.

So I also like this idea of the dating service, and that it’s sort of like a high end thing, are you imagining that it would be sort of like an app or imagining that would be more of like that exclusive sort of high end experience where you have like a consultant and they tell you like, you’re going to be going on this date with this person, and also this person?

Sam McKinney 28:32
I would probably assume that would be like a high end service, because the people- it would be really expensive. The people who would be doing this are going to have money to spare and wouldn’t want to just do an app, because the app is like, it’s kind of frowned upon for some people still. So if we have that luxurious, like people go to that place, they set you up and then you go back in time and spend time together to see if it works. No time wasted. You don’t have to sacrifice anything. You learn if it’s the perfect person for you.

Chris Hanna 29:01
I was gonna say, Sam, the line that you came up with earlier I think is the perfect name for this service: Timeless. And you could call it like timeless dating or just keep it timeless. Um, cool. We’re making a dating service.

John Fish 29:15
Timeless love.

Chris Hanna 29:18
That’s the thing that I was thinking about is like, it can theoretically be timeless anything. And maybe that’s one thing that we can explore with the copy, if there is any copy on this thing. Cuz it could be like timeless love, timeless…I don’t know, what other experiences are there when you’re dating? Like timeless like vacations, timeless, whatever it is.

John Fish 29:41
Timeless sex, timeless-

Sam McKinney 29:45
Honeymoons.

John Fish 29:46
Honeymoons, timeless dessert.

Andi Hendrickson 29:48
Timeless dessert!

Chris Hanna 29:52
When you said that, my mind immediately went to this like really stock photo-y place, so these two people who are on a date and they’re like you a dessert, but the like perspective is pulled out a little bit. So you can see that it’s like two tables, and it’s the same guy. But he’s with two different women. Actually, when I say it out loud, that sounds like a terrible idea. Nevermind.

John Fish 30:16
It makes sense in context of what the product is, but-

Chris Hanna 30:19
Yeah, but when you- Yeah, when you think about it, it’s like, oh, he’s just cheating on one of these women with the other, or maybe he’s cheating on both. Who knows? Okay.

Andi Hendrickson 30:29
So what medium are we thinking for these, for the advertisements? For this service?

Chris Hanna 30:35
Hmm. So I, myself am not a user, unfortunately, of one of these high end premium dating services. But I would imagine that it’s probably like a word of mouth thing? Because it’s like, hey, Veronica, you should be using this service or something. I don’t know, how are high end dating services usually marketed to people?

Sam McKinney 30:57
I would probably think it would be word of mouth. But since we’re going to have to make something, a really high end mailer to like CEOs, celebrities, stuff like that we mail them out, like just this big package to explain what’s happening, what it is, just really high end stuff.

Andi Hendrickson 31:17
Can it be delivered by owl?

Chris Hanna 31:21
That’s perfect.

Sam McKinney 31:23
Yeah, yeah. It could be delivered by owl.

Chris Hanna 31:25
So I actually kind of love the idea of like, if I want to refer someone to the service I send like, it’s almost like one of those Valentine’s Day grams. But instead of sending someone like a chocolate with like a heart shaped piece of cardboard, you send them an owl with the super high end like an envelope. I actually kind of love that.

Andi Hendrickson 31:46
I think it’s great and it’s on brand for the franchise, but also feels super exclusive.

Chris Hanna 31:53
Yeah, because it’s like, maybe one of these days to like see an owl and you’d be like, Oh my god, someone’s getting- someone getting the dating service!

John Fish 32:01
Another place we could check out I guess would be maybe like LinkedIn.

Andi Hendrickson 32:05
Mm hmm

John Fish 32:06
Targeting, like the influencers

Chris Hanna 32:08
Influence- like LinkedIn influencers?

John Fish 32:10
Yeah, there’s like those. I don’t know. Are you guys very familiar with LinkedIn? Do you get on it very often?

Andi Hendrickson 32:14
Yeah. Like, Arianna Huffington is super big as like a LinkedIn influencer.

John Fish 32:17
Yeah. Right. Or, and there’s even some, like people that are just like, Oh, I’m a headhunter, but I had like 20,000 likes on a post because I say companies should hire people that are qualified. You know, I don’t know some of them are super dumb, but those type of people. Or like doctors that say something on LinkedIn that gets like 1000 likes. I feel like the people on LinkedIn get like a certain, um, it’s not like a blue checkmark. But they get like a thing next to their name like I can’t think of what it’s called. I don’t know

Chris Hanna 32:49
Don’t they literally just call it INfluencer? And “in” is like the “in” from LinkedIn.

Andi Hendrickson 32:54
That’s like the gold “IN.”

Chris Hanna 32:57
So John, maybe to your point, if this is a thing that is delivered mostly via word of mouth, maybe we kind of go back to the influencer idea as well. And the people who get these owls can like post about it on LinkedIn if they really want to. Maybe that’s like the people that we start with. And then after that, it’s like invite only or something.

Sam McKinney 33:16
LinkedIn feels, I mean, I get where it’s coming from because it’s like, busy people spend a lot of time on LinkedIn. But I think it shifts the verbiage a little bit more from finding a relationship and more to like a work life balance kind of field. Because LinkedIn is very much all about, like, your career. And it feels really weird to have relationship stuff on there.

Chris Hanna 33:39
Yeah. Although I will say that, like LinkedIn influencers are probably the exact kind of people that we’re trying to go after.

Sam McKinney 33:46
Yeah.

John Fish 33:47
Well, we could just stick with the mailers and just go full hog on those and create crazy packages for them. You know what I’m saying?

Sam McKinney 33:53
Yeah, I think that the mailer invites exclusive invites is the cool way to go.

Chris Hanna 33:59
Okay, cool. So So what do you guys imagine that this mailer would look like? Does it have the time turner in it? Or is that something that you would only get once you like sign up for it? And also is all correspondence from this dating service delivered via owl?

Sam McKinney 34:15
I think it might just be the invite. And then once you get that invite, you’re part of the club, like the Fyre guy, Fyre Festival guy. Before Fyre Festival, he had-had a credit card that he scammed people with, but it was like invite only, like, you have to have a friend that’s in it in order to get to it. But once you get that invite, you’re kind of part of the group, you’re in there for however long you want to be in there. And as for the Time Turner, I think the Time Turner would be at the events that you go, or the place you would go to date. I don’t think we should hand them out freely. And what do you guys think?

Chris Hanna 34:47
Well, I guess if we’re shifting more to the exclusivity thing, then shouldn’t the people who are going on these dates be in charge of it? Or is it sort of like the consultant person, if there is One, like gives you the Time Turner so you almost like rent it for a little while? And then when you’re done with it, you go and like give it back to them.

Sam McKinney 35:08
Yeah, I’m thinking that the Time Turner is more of a service that this company provides.

Chris Hanna 35:12
Okay. And maybe that’s just like the really key thing about this service is just like the Time Turner’s and not necessarily like helping you find people. Eh, it can be both why not? All right. So what are you guys thinking about- is going to be like on the mailer? Are you thinking that it’s going to be in the style of the like Hogwarts letter of acceptance? Or are you thinking that it’s more of like a high end thing, sort of like the black credit card that the Fyre Fest guy scammed everyone with? I’m kind of leaning more towards the latter.

Sam McKinney 35:45
I think a nice, like lux envelope card invitation, that’s like really simple, alluding to a timeless experience. All handwritten calligraphy, and gold ink just high end, crazy, like get these people, like what the hell is this? And they go to the place and find out that they’re gonna find the love of their life.

Chris Hanna 36:10
Aw, so sweet.

Andi Hendrickson 36:10
Yeah, I think, a nice tagline on there. And it’s sort of a brief instruction about where to go and you’re now a part of this exclusive club, and then you go to the place to get your Time Turner and start your experience.

John Fish 36:26
So that’s another question about the club. Is this only for people that are in on this Time Turner thing? Or is if I were to get Okay, let’s say I were to join, or I was invited to join, and I joined, would I be dating people that are also in this community? Or would I be able to just date anyone, right?

Sam McKinney 36:47
It would be people putting you together with like-minded people who are also high-end executives, and you guys get to meet. So you’d be both in this group, I think.

John Fish 37:00
This is just like, Have you guys heard of The League?

Chris Hanna 37:02
No. What is it?

John Fish 37:03
It’s like Tinder for like, really hot educated people. And like you have to like apply for it.

Chris Hanna 37:09
So it’s like Mensa, but only for attractive people.

John Fish 37:12
Yeah, it’s like, it’s it’s pretty disgusting. I pulled up an article about it just because of, it’s very similar to what we’re talking about right now. Where like, you’re vetted, and people, like, people actually vet you to see if you’re worthy to join.

Chris Hanna 37:27
There’s that one. There’s another one also, that’s like, you have to make a certain amount of money a year in order to even qualify to join this dating service. I don’t remember the name of it. But that’s kind of the idea, except instead of an app, it’s like a physical place.

And I will say, hopefully, the thing that we can convey with the service is that it’s not explicitly just for people who are like, super rich, it’s just mostly for like people who like don’t have a lot of time. And it’s like an exclusive community of people who want to date, but just aren’t able to put themselves out there. And it’s like, invite only, but I don’t know. I don’t feel like it has to be people who are like super rich personally. But uh, but that’s just me.

Andi Hendrickson 38:07
I think it’s more people who are super busy.

Chris Hanna 38:09
Exactly.

Andi Hendrickson 38:10
And usually that, you know, involves people who have, you know,

John Fish 38:14
Money.

Andi Hendrickson 38:14
A “C” in front of their job title.

Sam McKinney 38:18
C-suite.

Chris Hanna 38:19
Yeah. Okay, cool. So let’s start thinking about taglines and the kind of language that we want to have on here. I love the idea of like talking about, like, timeless, like love and maybe timeless sex. I don’t know if that’s something that would appeal people to use this dating service.

Andi Hendrickson 38:34
No, I don’t think it’s a sex service. It’s a dating service. So we should probably leave that out.

Chris Hanna 38:40
Sorry, John.

John Fish 38:41
Damn it.

Chris Hanna 38:42
But yeah. So let’s start thinking about like things that are going to be on this mailer. Do we like the idea of Timeless being the service, so then we would come up with something else for the tagline?

Sam McKinney 38:53
ie, I like that. Yeah, I think Timeless is like, high end enough-sounding, like it sounds like an exclusive kind of thing. Mm hmm. I think that works.

Chris Hanna 39:03
Okay, so let’s see, let’s think about-

John Fish 39:06
I’m kind of gravitating towards like, the time is now.

Chris Hanna 39:08
Well, the time is now, but it’s also like five hours ago and it’s also like-

John Fish 39:13
I know that’s, that’s why it’s kind of like funny, I think. I don’t know. It’s too trippy guys, this is too trippy.

I know, it’s flexing your brain a little bit. Um…

I’m not used to that.

Chris Hanna 39:28
Let’s see. Let me think.

John Fish 39:30
Timeless. I can see the writing right now. It’s definitely in cursive. I’m picturing white on a black background.

Sam McKinney 39:38
I was picturing gold on a black background.

John Fish 39:41
Okay, gold.

Andi Hendrickson 39:41
I’m thinking gold.

John Fish 39:43
Gold? Okay. Gold works, too.

Chris Hanna 39:46
As much as I love that idea that I brought up earlier about double dating, I feel like if some high end person saw that, they would be like, oh, this isn’t legit. Like double dating is something that like, you know, young people who are in like college like do on like a Tuesday night or something. So.

Sam McKinney 40:04
Yeah, it’s, it’s more the thought is more like, don’t sacrifice your work because that’s these people typically put work above everything else or put their careers above everything else. So the the verbiage would be more like don’t you don’t have to sacrifice your career for love, or something like that.

Andi Hendrickson 40:23
Yeah, I think that’s definitely the idea we’re trying to capture.

Chris Hanna 40:27
So the benefit is sort of like, the time to, like, do it all or something.

John Fish 40:33
Have it all.

Sam McKinney 40:34
How about you don’t have time to waste?

Chris Hanna 40:37
I don’t know. To me that feels like it’s, it’s like not quite shaming people, but making people more afraid of like the negative aspect of it, rather than the benefit of being able to like do both things at once. So what if it was, like waste less, date more or something like that?

Andi Hendrickson 40:59
There’s something to like using “less, more” as part of the tagline, because the name also has Timeless. So we could do you know, like a set of phrases that use the word less. And then it ends with Timeless. But I’m trying to think of those other words.

Chris Hanna 41:20
Right.

Sam McKinney 41:21
More time for less?

John Fish 41:23
Why don’t we play into like the indulgence of like dating? Like, I like playing with the word more, a lot more than I think more than less, because I think it’s just like “more, more dating. More life. More love more money.”

Sam McKinney 41:39
Yeah. But the less is that alliteration of less, Timeless kind of thing, the rhyming.

Andi Hendrickson 41:45
But you could flip it and do you know, put more at the end. So it’s, you know, “do more. See more. Date more. Timeless.”

Sam McKinney 41:55
Yeah.

John Fish 41:56
Yeah.

Chris Hanna 41:57
Yeah, what if it was just like, “Date more. Timeless”?

John Fish 42:00
What if it was just, “More time”?

No?

Chris Hanna 42:07
It’s okay. I want to make my case for “Date more.” Because if you’re reading this and the tagline is “Date more” that comes right next to the like logon or slogan or whatever. And I love the idea of like, Timeless and the tagline being “Date more,” because it’s like that juxtaposition that Andi was talking about. But it gets the benefit across in a really straightforward way. For people who maybe don’t understand what a Time Turner does.

Sam McKinney 42:37
Yeah, I like that. There would need to be copy that plays off of it a little bit.

Chris Hanna 42:42
Mm hmm.

Sam McKinney 42:42
I think, but I like that as a, “Date more. Timeless.”

Andi Hendrickson 42:47
Mm hmm.

Chris Hanna 42:47
Cool.

John Fish 42:48
Mm hmm.

Andi Hendrickson 42:48
Yeah, I think that’s strong.

Chris Hanna 42:50
So, as, I’m going to default to the Harry Potter experts, when you do get that letter, that is from the owl, what kind of language is used in it?

Andi Hendrickson 43:01
You mean your Hogwarts acceptance letter?

Chris Hanna 43:03
Yeah. Like how is it written? Is it written as like a really formal like acceptance letter?

Andi Hendrickson 43:08
Yeah, the the Hogwarts letters are pretty, they’re pretty formal and their cursive and calligraphy and all that and they have, you know, a wax seal.

Chris Hanna 43:18
Mmm.

Andi Hendrickson 43:19
But I don’t know that we necessarily need this particular letter to be super formal. I think it’s more about the experience being high end than the language being super flowery and traditional.

Chris Hanna 43:31
Gotcha. So I think it was John, who talked about this idea of having, like, a bunch of phrases with “more” in them, like kind of going down the sheet of the letter that we’re going to send out to people, where it’s like, you can date more, you can do all these things that’s “more.” Do you like that approach? Because in my head, the way I’m thinking about it is like on the left side of the sheet, or on the left side column is going to be be all of these things that you can do more of. And then at the very bottom of the list on the right hand side is just like Timeless. And then maybe below that is just instructions that say, “to start your Timeless experience, like, come to this bar and start your new journey of dating” or something like that.

John Fish 44:20
I like that. I do kind of like that. I think we obviously think out the “more’s” more.

Chris Hanna 44:27
So if so let’s maybe break it down a little bit when, like, yes, this service like allows you to date more, but what else does it allow you to do more of?

Andi Hendrickson 44:38
I mean, I think if we’re appealing to the C-suite, then it allows you to do all the things that your business requires of you, but at the same time, be able to, you know, go out and find the one.

Chris Hanna 44:53
Mm hmm.

Andi Hendrickson 44:53
So, I think all of those Moore’s would probably relate to all the things you normally do in your work day that you can still do.

Chris Hanna 45:02
Right.

Andi Hendrickson 45:02
But now at the same time, you can also date more.

Chris Hanna 45:05
So it’s like more networking, more, like, trips, more- it could be like, I guess, like more family or something? Mmmm.

Sam McKinney 45:16
It would be-I think it has to be more like, meet more, experience more, travel more, date more, Timeless.

Andi Hendrickson 45:26
Yeah, I like that. And I think all those things, those three things are related both to business and to what you might do in order to date. So I think it works both ways. It has double meaning.

Chris Hanna 45:40
We’re all about that. Yeah, I like that. Do you guys think that there has to be more information on this invitation letter besides the like, “meet more, date more,” and like the location information for your first date?

Sam McKinney 45:59
I think the secretive nature will kind of pique the interest.

Chris Hanna 46:05
I mean, I guess like the secretive nature did work for Fyre Fest, to an extent.

Andi Hendrickson 46:10
I mean, I’m hoping that this service would not be a Fyre Festival of dating. So like, I don’t know if we want to keep comparing ourselves to that.

Chris Hanna 46:20
Good point, good point. Um, okay, cool. Are you guys thinking that the owl has anything special on it? Or is it just straight up the owl from Harry Potter?

I mean it can’t just be any old barn owl. We gotta have it be that you know, Hedwig style, super fancy owl.

I’m looking up fancy owls, and all of them have top hats on. Okay.

Okay, so I have a very minor suggestion, just to class up the owl a little bit. Can the owl have a little bow tie?

Andi Hendrickson 46:52
Yes, it can.

Chris Hanna 46:54
Okay, and then Timeless can be on the bow tie.

John Fish 46:57
I’m sorry, I feel like the bow tie kinda cheapens the owl.

Chris Hanna 47:00
Oh, really?

John Fish 47:02
Yeah. Oh yeah.

That makes it a little, like a little tacky.

Chris Hanna 47:08
John, you’re telling me, that if right now, an owl came to your door, and it had a bow tie, you would think that’s not as fancy as an owl without a bow tie?

John Fish 47:18
Yes.

Chris Hanna 47:22
Okay.

Andi Hendrickson 47:23
Let’s compromise, and the- it’ll have the, because normally they they have it like tied to their foot, it can be with a velvet ribbon.

Chris Hanna 47:33
Ok.

John Fish 47:33
There we go.

Chris Hanna 47:34
We can agree on that.

Okay, cool. What else do you think we need to figure out?

Sam McKinney 47:43
Do we have the, so we have the copy-copy, then what’s, what’s the final line that we’re going to have go to…”For your exclusive, Timeless experience, go to blah, blah, blah”?

Chris Hanna 47:55
Yeah. And so it’ll basically be…I guess the key component that we need to answer here is if we’re not explaining, like, we’re not explaining how the Time Turner works in the invitation letter, correct?

Sam McKinney 48:10
No.

Chris Hanna 48:11
Okay. So then, yeah, it would just be as simple as like, “for your Timeless experience, go to this bar to like, begin to like, date more, do whatever.”

Sam McKinney 48:22
Okay.

Chris Hanna 48:23
So I actually have another question. Do you guys think that bars are the most, like, do they make the most sense for this? Because I’ve seen like, there’s this weird show on Netflix where, like, really, really like exclusive, high end executive people like going on these crazy dates in all these crazy places. Are you thinking that that is like a component of this? Or do you think it’s more about just like, finding a restaurant or a bar where people are going to meet and talk?

Andi Hendrickson 48:54
I don’t think it’s that we want to promote unattainable luxury because, again, these are just people who work really hard and don’t have a lot of time. So the place that they would need to go still needs to be accessible within their schedule. So I think you know, high end hotel bars would be a good place you know, if you think of in LA, 71 Above at the top of the US Bank tower would be a perfect location because it’s near offices, but it’s also high end and expensive and a little bit luxurious.

Chris Hanna 49:23
Okay, cool. I like that a lot.

Sam McKinney 49:25
There’s a, there is another option, just to throw it out there. Do you guys know Soho house?

Chris Hanna 49:31
No.

Sam McKinney 49:32
There are all across the world are basically it’s kind of like a club for people who have money. To just go hang out and have like, parties or social gatherings or stuff.

Chris Hanna 49:43
I was gonna say, I know this isn’t the same cinematic universe, but this just popped in my head. Speaking of like, places that are exclusive. It would be kind of cool if one of the dates could happen at the Magic Castle.

Andi Hendrickson 49:58
Yeah, that kind of thing where it’s, you know, more of an exclusive social gathering and not something that anybody could just walk into.

Chris Hanna 50:06
Okay, cool.

Ron Weasley 50:12
How did you get there? Who you always told you there?

Hermoine Granger 50:17
What’s he talking about, Harry?

Harry Potter 50:19
I don’t know. Honestly, how can somebody be in two places at once?

Chris Hanna 50:26
Okay, so our insight is that busy people need more time to date. So the idea we came up with is to use the Time Turner to create a high end, exclusive dating service so you can date people without sacrificing your normal schedule. We’re going to call this service Timeless, which leads into our tagline, “date more.” The execution that we’ve come up with is to create an invite-only dating experience for busy people. We’ll send out invites to this experience in a premium letter, and in classic Harry Potter fashion, they’ll be delivered via owl. These letters will say, “Travel more. Meet more. Experience more. Date more. Welcome to Timeless.” Along with instructions on when and where they’ll go for their first Timeless date.

Okay, cool. Well, that is a wrap on Time Turner’s. Good job guys! We’re getting better at this.

John Fish 51:16
Whoo! We are, that’s true.

Chris Hanna 51:19
Alrighty, I want to thank again our special guest, Andi Hendrickson, for coming on and lending her immense Harry Potter and creative know-how to us.

Sam McKinney 51:29
Thank you.

John Fish 51:30
Snaps!

Andi Hendrickson 51:31
Thanks for having me.

Chris Hanna 51:32
Of course. And as always, we would love to hear what you guys thought of the podcast. You can leave us a review if you’re on Apple Podcasts, or you can always follow us on Instagram @ADtempted. That’s a-d-t-e-m-p-t-e-d. Andi, got any Harry Potter quotes to wrap this up?

Andi Hendrickson 51:51
We’ll end with a little Prisoner of Azkaban quote, and I’m going to quote Hermoine Granger here. “Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?”

Chris Hanna 52:00
Very appropriate in these times.

Sam McKinney 52:02
Perfect!

Chris Hanna 52:03
All right. See you next time, everybody!

Sam McKinney 52:06
Bye!

John Fish 52:16
Later!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

The post ADtempt 004 – Time Turner appeared first on ADtempted.

Jumping into any career is daunting. Jumping into a creative advertising career is down right crazy! Sam, John and Chris, while early in their advertising careers, are using this episode lend some advice that they wish they had from the beginning. Important advice like what is the difference between an Art Director and a designer. Or, just exactly what a copywriter even does. Join them on this 30 minute journey while they talk about awesome topics like: 

• What exactly a creative job in advertising is
• How to get started 
• The types of people in an agency
• And most importantly their own opinions of what makes you a good creative

ADtempt-003.5-Advice001

Chris Hanna  00:00

Huh, this feels different. 

John Fish  00:02

What does man?

Chris Hanna  00:03

This episode. We don’t have a brief, we haven’t stolen any jokes, and we aren’t selling anything.

Sam McKinney  00:07

Well, this episode is going to be a little bit different. We’re pulling back the curtain to give our audience some insight into who we are and what we do.

Chris Hanna  00:14

So we are selling ourselves.

Sam McKinney  00:17

Well, maybe not

Chris Hanna  00:19

Yet. Welcome back to ADtempted, the show where we attempt to give advice to people who probably don’t need it. I’m john. I’m a copywriter.

Sam McKinney  00:32

I’m Sam, and I’m an art director.

John Fish  00:34

I’m Chris and I’m a copywriter. Today’s episode is going to be a first for our little show. Instead of selling a product. We wanted to share some of our experiences: who we are, what we do and why we do it.

Sam McKinney  00:45

sounds good to me. Where do you guys want to start?

John Fish  00:48

One place that we should maybe start is our titles, because for some people, they probably have no idea what that is.

Chris Hanna  00:56

So we all know there’s an art director and a copywriter, but not everyone knows the Difference. Can you guys explain that to me?

John Fish  01:03

I’ll explain it to our audience and to you, John, at the same time. Okay, so I guess I can start with copywriters since that’s what I am. So copywriter is basically responsible for everything that is copy based. The way I like to think of it is that whatever text you see on any sort of ad, or any sort of scripts that you might hear in a radio or a TV commercial, that’s the copywriters job. But just like an art director, copywriters are also responsible for the conceptual side of things. So the whole idea is sort of in the hands of the copywriter, as well as the art director. And every partnership is different. Usually there’s one copywriter and one art director. Sometimes the copywriter will take more of the conceptual side of things because the art director has to do, er I guess spend more time, on the art side. Maybe Sam can speak a little bit more to that. But other times it’s equal partnership. Sometimes there’s an art actor who literally just does everything and the copywriter just sits back, and I don’t know, what do other copywriters who don’t do anything all day do? 

Sam McKinney  02:07

Write scripts for themselves. 

Chris Hanna  02:11

Yeah, so Sam, why don’t you talk a little bit about art direction?

Sam McKinney  02:15

The way that I think about it is copywriters, and art directors essentially are the same job in a way. Because first and foremost, you you’re concepting, right and come up with ideas. You are there to talk back and forth, bounce ideas off each other and come up with something that’s going to get people’s interest. 

John Fish  02:32

Yeah, 

Sam McKinney  02:32

But then it breaks down to your secondary skills. The secondary skills for copywriter, obviously Chris went through that. Art direction, you do everything visually related. So you make ads, you make banners, you work with directors, you’re on set, you’re making sure everything works cohesively and kind of visually makes sense. So the more you can do with art, Photoshop, Illustrator, drawing stuff, the better off you are To be able to advance in your career.

John Fish  03:02

Yeah, I know that when, I guess at my last gig, a lot of the art directors who got certain jobs, it really depended on their skills. So there were some who were really, really good with Premiere, for example. And so they would get certain video projects because they knew how to work with it. Others, of course, we’re better at things like illustration. And so they would get more of that, like, aesthetic-feel sort of projects.

Sam McKinney  03:27

Yes, yeah, there’s, there’s a lot of that stuff. And the nice thing about art direction is you need to know or you get to work on so many different things that you don’t, if you’re better at one thing, you work on that more, but then you also get to do everything else. It’s a lot of fun. Never the same.

Chris Hanna  03:48

Oh, yeah. 

John Fish  03:49

And don’t worry guys, for you out there. There’s a lot of people at the agency that back these positions up. If they’re editors or designers, or people that just are able to make things a little bit more polished. The copywriter and the art director are the people that come up with the idea and are able to present it in a way that makes the client go, “Fuck yeah.”

Sam McKinney  04:11

Yeah. It’s very much a team effort on everyone’s part. Depends on how big the agency is. If it’s a small agency you might be on your own at some points. But usually not.

John Fish  04:24

Yeah, john, maybe you can speak to this too. But I feel like even within copywriting sometimes there’s certain sort of specialties. Like I know it, my agency, the last agency that I worked at, there were some people who were like the go to script people. There are other people who were probably better with like social copy. Or sometimes there would even be people who were just like the headline guys, like whenever you have like a headline, they were the ones that would always beat out everyone else’s ideas or lines or whatever. Did you ever feel like that was sort of a thing with copywriters?

Chris Hanna  04:59

Yeah I mean, I can’t speak directly to the agency side of it. But it does seem like that is kind of my experience working in teams and even just working on this podcast. I think in order to work fluidly, people kind of have to have roles, right. And I think people kind of almost self select into those roles. I don’t know, I just can’t really speak too much to that point, Chris. But I think I definitely think you’re right.

Sam McKinney  05:25

At my agency, there’s there’s certain people who they go by voices, like there’s one guy who’s very uplifting and upbeat. And he does a lot of the uplifting storylines, or the ads for lines like that. And there’s another guy who is spot on with humor. And if you need a funny script, some ridiculous thing, he’ll come up with the craziest stuff that’ll get sold through. That’s his specialty, and he’s done really well at it. You do have a voice just like artists have styles. copywriters have a specific voice and that they are better at. 

John Fish  05:57

And maybe that kind of gets to like the self selecting part. You know, like so and so’s a little bit better at humor. So let’s give them that or Oh, so and so is really good at making people cry. Let’s give him the Procter and Gamble pitch. Okay?

Chris Hanna  06:12

I want to meet the person who’s really, really good at making people cry. Like he walks into a meeting. And then he walks out and everyone is just like balling on like the coffee table or whatever. I want to meet that guy. So, Sam, since we’re kind of talking about different specialties, why don’t you talk about what makes a graphic designer different from an art director.

Sam McKinney  06:34

Mostly, it’s concepting. Graphic Designer usually is just you’re given stuff to make it look pretty. And that’s your puzzle. So the idea is there you just need to put stuff together and make it look visually appealing. Whereas art direction you go in and come up with ideas, you have to sell that idea and then make it pretty, or at least be able to speak to how it will be pretty and then take it further. Also, graphic design typically is only visuals on products: paper, print, stuff like that. Whereas art direction is also you have to be able to manage a set. So it takes all of the skills that you could ever have you’d ever want. And you’d have to apply them in some way, basically.

John Fish  07:16

Yeah. And to that point, I just want to stress how important concepting is. The second point is to Sam’s point about how you’re working on a set and stuff is, and I’m not speaking from experience just experience of working with people, is just that this job is so about being able to work with people and get along with different personalities. And if you’re not able to do that, it makes your job a lot harder.

Sam McKinney  07:43

Yes, it does.

Chris Hanna  07:44

Yes. Something that is something that I heard from a creative director that had really great advice was he said that, you know, each agency sort of has its own culture, and sometimes if you’re really butting heads with people And you’re trying to, you know, like sort of bridge the gap, but it’s just not working for some reason, a lot of the time it can be because of like, whatever culture like the agency values. So there are some places that are very, very much focused about like, winning new business. And that’s like the only thing that matters. Other places are all about getting headlines, some places are more about like people. Others are, I guess more about like the craft of that sort of, and I don’t know, I just kind of liked the way that he phrased the whole, like, agency vibe thing, because that’s very much a factor, I think, when you’re trying to like get into the industry and trying to find your place and your fit.

Sam McKinney  08:40

Yeah. And if you do have problems with a partner, because sometimes it’s unbalanced, and sometimes you’ll get people who were hired on that don’t have any skill or have a very specific skill or they’re lazy or they whatever. There’s a chance you can work with other people and get a new partner, but it’s very small. Like normally you get stuck with someone or you’re you work with them. And that’s kind of who you are with for however long, so you have to try and make it work. So you need to be able to understand that person, understand what their motives are, and find a way to work with them, or just leave them behind. And just don’t let them drag you down. Basically.

John Fish  09:23

It is like marriage in some ways.

Chris Hanna  09:26

Yeah. And like most careers, professions, advertising is very incestuous. What I mean by that is everybody knows everybody, right? So you don’t really want to be pissing in anybody’s coffee at work, so to say, just because you want to be able to make sure that you’re kind of maintaining these relationships, you know, even when you’re living in a big city like Los Angeles.

Sam McKinney  09:51

Yeah, it’s a very small industry. You don’t want to be the one that everyone talks and jokes about for years to come.  All right. Cool, guys. Well, what kind of got you all both interested in advertising? I don’t remember exactly when I wanted to be an advertising, because I was pretty young. I just really enjoyed the short stories of commercials. Back when commercials were really smart, and billboards and all these things like just being able to visually change the world was pretty awesome. And I always wanted to do something that changes the world, but I never knew how to get into it. So I just kind of went through life, went through school trying to find a way to get to this and no one tells you how to get into advertising basically. So I went into graphic design, worked my way through design for I think I worked into it for like 10 years, and then moved out here because my wife is in film, and kept trying and eventually I figured out that I was doing it wrong. And then went to an ad school. And we’ll talk about that a little bit later. But that was that’s, it’s an interesting path. It’s interesting also how different paths to advertising is and reasons for people being in it. It’s it’s pretty, pretty unique in that way.

Chris Hanna  11:16

Yes. Some people just fall into it somehow. Yeah, I remember I had this one interview with a team. And one of the guys introduced himself and said, “Well, I’m a failed screenwriter. So here I am as a copywriter.”  Yeah, Chris, how did it How did you get into it? Yeah. So I think for me, it was maybe more instantaneous, then maybe it was for Sam. I, like Sam was also a kid that like, wanted to watch the commercials whenever they would come on. I didn’t want to fast forward through them or anything. And so when I got to college, I went through, of course, the quarterlife crisis, where I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. And I went through like, I took out the majors sheet of every single major that was available. And I just like checked them off of like, Okay, do I want to do this don’t want to do that. And I did these informational interviews with a bunch of professors who are on campus to ask them like, Hey, what is this field? Like? What do you teach? What kinds of things can students go on to do? Which I think is really a great thing to do. Regardless of whether or not you’re in a quarterlife crisis. It kind of like broadened my perspective of what I thought I could do. And the advertising professor who was on campus was really sweet. And I was like, yeah, this kind of sounds cool. But I didn’t really know that creative was the thing that I wanted to do, because a lot of the program was dedicated more broadly to sort of marketing or public relations. And the thing that changed it for me was there was this field trip that the school’s like public relations society went on, and the agency that they went to was sort of like a hybrid. They did mostly PR, but they also did a good deal of creative. The moment for me was when this creative director came and sat down. And he started talking about what he did. And he shared some of his work. And I had a light bulb moment where I was like, Oh, I didn’t know that people get paid to do like really idea concentrated work. And after that, I sort of tried to figure out what I wanted to do. And I always knew that I was a pretty strong writer. So I naturally started pursuing copywriting. And like, Sam, after I graduated college, I was like, Okay, I’ve got all of these great blog posts in my book, and I’m going to be ready to apply to all those agencies. And of course, it didn’t work out initially. So what I ended up doing was cold emailing people, sort of what I did with, you know, the professors at my university, but instead I went on LinkedIn, and I stalked the people who had the job title or the job history that I was really interested in. And I just cold emailed them and I was like, hey, I really want to do this for a living and I’m not able to break in, can you give me some advice? And nine out of 10 people didn’t reply, but the one out of 10 people who did were super kind and super informative. One of them actually, I ended up finding the creative director who worked on one of my favorite TV campaigns ever. It’s that Carl’s Jr, shake ad, where the guy’s like shaking the cow. And it’s just like 25 seconds of that, and then the bumper on the end. I don’t know why, but that just sticks out in my mind. It’s like my favorite commercial. And I connected with that guy and talked with him. 

Sam McKinney  12:53

He talks about it all the time.

Chris Hanna  14:35

I do. It’s such a great ad. If you haven’t seen it, I highly encourage you to go out and see it now. Anyway, so after I like talked to those people, they all had something in common, which was that they had this emphasis on a portfolio or a book. And a lot of them were LA based and I was kind of local to the LA area. So They recommended this one school. And so I went on the first day, everything that I thought I knew had been kind of crushed, but it’s okay, because they rebuilt me into a smarter creative boy. Who is copywriting.

Sam McKinney  15:15

How about you, john? 

John Fish  15:16

Yeah. So, you know, as as as corny as it is, what got me interested in advertising was Mad Men. I that was like, my first time when I realized, wow, that’s something that you could do for a living. Because up until that point, you don’t really it’s, it is kind of one of those like shadow industries where you’re, you don’t know how it got how it came to be. But you’re like, Oh, that’s interesting. That’s cool. How did that but once you find it out, you’re kind of like, oh, I’ll check that out. So I was in college. I was an athletic training major at the time, and I ended up making the switch to advertising. Advertising as a college degree is really focused on the business side of advertising, the account side of advertising. So I learned about media buying, media selling, more than the creative side of it. But I did take one creative class from a really awesome man named Mark Seacrest who was just like the sweetest dude, ever. He was an older gentleman, but it was a really fun class. And I was like, wow, this is something this is what I want to do. I want to do this. I was also smoking a lot of pot at the time. So I thought all my ideas were fucking kickass, right. Like most people that smoke a lot of pot. During college, also, I was on an experience called advertising team. Advertising team created a fake campaign for a real client, and then pitched it to that client at the end of the year. Our client was Pizza Hut. It was really fun. It was one of my first times like really collaborating with a group of people that we’re all really interested and excited about something because group work usually sucks. But if you’re doing group work with people that are all interested and have that same goal, it’s pretty fun. We didn’t win, unfortunately. But at the end of the year, we had alumni from my College, University of Idaho, go vandals, come up to Moscow, and one of them was a creative director at a big agency in LA. And he mentioned, and this is a segue into our next topic, but he mentioned Book Shop that was like, I was like, oh, okay, cool, because you hear all this, like, Oh, you need a portfolio, you need a portfolio, you need a portfolio. I was like, Okay, cool. Well, that would be nice. If I could do that. I ended up getting a job right out of college and moved to Seattle in advertising sales. I took a class outside of work at the Seattle school for visual concepts, which was cool, but they didn’t give you the opportunity to create a portfolio, right. And then Two years go by and my wife gets into physical therapy school in Los Angeles. So we moved to Los Angeles, I’m thinking, Okay, advertising sales is doing pretty well. I’m gonna stick with that. And then I was talking to my mom, and she said, Hey, I know you really wanted to get into the creative side of advertising, and I found this paper that was shoved in a drawer at your desk at home, and it’s talking about Book Shop, which I think is a pretty good segue into our next topic of advertising schools, portfolio schools in particular. So we’re all alumni of Book Shop. So we’re going to probably be a little bit biased.

Chris Hanna  18:38

Go fighting books!

John Fish  18:42

I would have to say that my experience in Book Shop has been so far so good, I’m, I’m done. I don’t think I’m taking another class. But at the same time, if you are lucky, and you know what you want to do right out of college or run out High School, I’m sorry, then you could go to another another ad school, like creative circus or Miami Ad School. So I don’t know. Do you guys want to talk about your experiences with portfolio schools and how you made the decision?

Sam McKinney  19:16

Yeah, well, there’s a big difference between full ad schools and like smaller, and the major difference is cost. It can cost you a crap ton of money to go to a full Ad School versus something like Book Shop, the bigger schools, you’ll have a full department behind you, you’ll be able to make full on commercials, you’re able to do everything because you have so much equipment there. You’re paying for it, you might as well use it. Small a la carte stuff like like Book Shop, it’s very much focused on the one thing that matters and that’s concepting. The whole point of it is to get you to concept ideas better. So you get in you go through this what I think six classes?

Chris Hanna  19:58

Well, it kind of depends, because the last class is basically designed to be able to give you a piece, like a full campaign for your book. So it’s like six classes from like, start to finish or whatever. But you tend to take the final Teams class multiple times.

John Fish  20:13

I just want to stress too, like everyone has their own path, right? And there’s not one ABCD. I, for example, I’m probably more of like a, a, b, f, g type of person as as far as how I’m working on getting into the industry.

Sam McKinney  20:31

And I have one last point for all of this before we move on to the next fun question. You don’t actually have to go to ad school to go, you could do all of this stuff. If you’re like a brilliant ad person, and you come up with a book on your own writing, designing, doing everything, if at the very least, there is one thing you cannot get outside of ad school and that’s your connections. Like the people we went to class with, me and John were in the same class. And we have friendships that are out of that class that we’re going to know for the rest of our lives, probably. It’s a small a small industry. So we’re going to have those connections, the rest of our lives if we need help, if we need to get a job, whatever. And then the fact that each school has people from that school who’s going to be out here, you’re going to have connections there from that to like Book Shop’s pretty prevalent out in LA. So we have a lot of people who know Book Shop, and they’re like, Oh, yeah, we went to Book Shop too, we know, it’s a good program. Let’s

Chris Hanna  21:32

Maybe we’ll hear from some of those people as special guests. 

Sam McKinney  21:36

Yeah, it’s very possible. But that’s, that’s the main thing because this career is all about networking. You need to know people, and you can be the best artist or the best designer, the best idea person in the world. And if you aren’t friends, with anybody in the industry, it’s gonna be hard. 

John Fish  21:52

On top of that real quick, not only if you’re not friends with anyone, but if you’re a dick and people don’t want to work with you, you’re not going to get far, no matter how good you are. I promise, right.

Chris Hanna  22:04

On the topic of connections and networking and the value of the people that you know, let’s talk about student awards for a second. Are they worth it?

Sam McKinney  22:15

Student awards are a great accomplishment. It’s hard to win, takes a lot of work. It’s a good way to have a carrot at the end, like show you what it really takes to win. In Book Shop, we do a One Show term where we work our asses off however many hours a week to try and come up with a campaign that they put out on a brief. It’s the closest I think you’d be to an actual, like new business pitch outside of actually pitching new business. And the experience is worth it. Learning how to work with people who are really angry and annoyed and tired and don’t want to do this shit anymore. That’s a priceless experience. The award is worth it to a point. It’ll get you into the door to get hired. But as soon as you’re hired, it does not matter anymore. In my opinion.

John Fish  23:04

Well, I was on I was on Sam’s team when we won a pencil for our campaign Buds Over Beer. Awesome experience. It was really fun. Our group put in so much work. And we came out with something that at the end of the day, you kind of knew was special. But that doesn’t mean anything cuz is being judged. And since it’s a, it’s a judging competition, it might be awesome to you. But to Joe over here, it might be garbage, right. But luckily, we were selected and we won. In the end, I think the student award is worth it. Because it’s a really cool trophy. I have it in my home right now. My wife is very proud of me. But to Sam’s point, once you’re in an agency, the award doesn’t matter until you get other awards for your work.

Sam McKinney  23:51

You have to get the adult awards, not the student award. 

John Fish  23:53

Yeah, there’s a couple of different awards in advertising. So one show is one that has adult awards. We also have the Clios is one, that’s an adult one. Those are adult awards. I think they also have a student faction of awards.

Sam McKinney  24:12

I don’t know if Clio does, there’s the Young Lions , the D&AD I think has a young kid student or not kids awards. The One Show has 

Chris Hanna  24:21

I love how you guys are calling them adult awards, by the way.

Sam McKinney  24:26

Actual industry awards. Yeah, there’s there’s a few of the smaller awards. The One Show i think is 

John Fish  24:33

And unfortunately that this industry is so like, the self masturbatory.

Chris Hanna  24:39

Adult awards that are self masturbatory.

John Fish  24:42

Yeah, well, have you seen the pencil, Chris?

Chris Hanna  24:45

I have not won one, so I, no. Sam’s shown me his pencil. Oh God, it sounds so dirty. I don’t like this. Let’s let’s transition to something else.

Sam McKinney  24:59

Anyways, Internships Yay. Or nay. 

John Fish  25:03

You guys should take this one on.

Chris Hanna  25:05

So we need to get something clear here first, in that internships come in all different shapes and sizes in the industry. There’s some internships that seem to be more focused just on like, getting people exposed to the industry. I don’t know how many of them are, you know, actively trying to get you on the best possible track to get like a junior position there. I think each one is different. And some of them are gonna, you know, be more of the stereotypical, you know, go get me coffee versus others are going to be like, hey, we’ve got this brief, come in and work on it. I guess in terms of my internship, mine was a little bit longer than most it lasted around nine months. And I think that the reason I would say yay to this internship was because it just totally transformed sort of my understanding of what the industry really was. To be able to work inside an agency. And I think that Sam will agree that Book Shop and I probably most portfolio schools give you a pretty good understanding of what it’s like to work in the industry. But until you’re in it, doing it full time, often more hours than full time, and you’ve got all of the, you know, responsibilities of life, that sort of changes the way that you approach work, and the way that you are able to sort of like time manage. That was definitely a big one for me being able to time manage and, you know, get my best self to work every day to be able to come up with the best ideas possible. So I think I had a pretty positive overall experience. Sam, you’ve interned at a couple different places, right?

Sam McKinney  26:47

Yeah, I did a big agency and a small agency. The big agency, great experience, met a lot of cool people worked on a lot of cool stuff. I think my favorite part of my internship was when we ended up working on a new biz pitch, and I was there late, a lot to get things done and get things ready. But there are those times where you were literally in the room with a creative director like with shit on the wall. And you’re, you’re all just sitting there together, working through ideas and trying to clear things up. And I was like, Man, this is what I saw on Mad Men. And like, this is what I wanted to do. This is why I’m in this. So I was always trying to get to that. And that was my first internship. The smaller internship, I don’t know. It was one of those situations where I got dealt a short end of the stick, doing a lot, but there’s some really cool people I met there. I eventually got hired there, and that’s where I’m currently at, and it’s a great place. You do a lot more in a small agency. Big agencies, you’re like you’re on one brand and you’re like my first internship. I was doing emails and banners as, as you would expect. On the second internship, I was doing TV scripts, I was doing campaign pitches like I was on so many different things. I don’t even remember all of it. But then also they had us do some firm, they actually used the interns to sand down furniture and repaint it. They say it was for a business pitch. I did make a video out of it because it was part of the project. So it’s fun, but like, really, you have a sanding down your patio furniture and painting it? Whatever. But definitely got the real feel of what an agency was like. And it was awesome. I would definitely recommend if you can, an internship because it gets you primed and ready for the actual thing, and it’ll probably get you hired, eventually, unless you’re lucky enough to just fall into a position. Usually you have an agenda. 

John Fish  28:46

So, I’ll take the question real quick and say I have not done an internship. And this is kind of because this is a grim reality that I’m going to lay down on y’all. 

Chris Hanna  28:58

Here we go. 

John Fish  29:00

Internships don’t have health insurance. For the most part. Unfortunately, I live in LA, I have to pay the bills. My wife is in school. So I’m not I wasn’t I’m not in a position really to take an internship at this time. But I do think they are very beneficial. And, you know, when I’m ready to make that leap and can make that leap, and this pandemic is over, I probably will make that leap, you know, to an internship. If I could go straight to the workforce with my book, I would love to do that, too. I feel like I know what it’s like to work in an agency just from talking with Chris and Sam all the time about it and kind of being annoying, probably and asking him What’s it like? What’s it like? So? How’s it going? 

Chris Hanna  29:46

I think if anything, we’re probably the annoying ones talking about agency life. I don’t know I asked a lot of questions. And I think that is something that all people that are interested in this profession can do and should do because, and I’m going to sound like a beating a dead horse. It’s all about being friendly. And most people in the industry are, from my experience, pretty friendly and human. So reach out ask questions.

Sam McKinney  30:17

I do you have a couple of tips for you, John, when you get into it, and for everyone else who’s considering an internship. Make sure that you’re taking a paid internship, you’re not taking on unpaid internship, that’s not okay anymore. It is minimum wage. They rarely pay more than that. So that’s going to suck. So have savings if you need it, and then be hungry but humble. And that’s going to be a lot-a theme that I want to have. You want to search out things, don’t just do what you’re told. Search out other things to work on. Find that project, listen to people, if they’re like, Hey, we have a pitch coming up, like hey, I want to get on that. I would love the experience. Yeah, you probably won’t ge shit to the client, but at least you’ll get stuff presented to the creative director, show that you’re hungry for it. And then you’ll get critiques. And then eventually, you’ll have something in your book. It doesn’t have to go to the client for it to be a book piece. I have stuff in my book that didn’t make it all the way the client, but I thought it was a kick ass idea. So we make it, put in your book, show it off, make it more than it is. Because the more you do it, the better off you’ll be in the long run.

Chris Hanna  31:23

Yeah. And on that note, John, I think you said something great, that needs to be echoed. And that’s to ask lots of questions. And I think everyone in their heads has this idea of interns being really annoying and always, you know, being where they shouldn’t be. But honestly, I feel like a lot of the opportunities that I got was because I asked lots of questions and because I talked to people about like what they were up to, and I always was offering you know, help if they needed it. You know, don’t like badger them every single day. But be present, I guess is a really good piece of advice.

Sam McKinney  32:00

You are an intern, you’re new, you are not expected to know everything. Don’t be afraid to be wrong. It’s better to ask questions. 

John Fish  32:09

And, on that point to be social, like get out there and talk to people in the agency. You know, I think that’s like good advice for any job is to like, you know, do that bullshit like, oh, how was your weekend type of thing, you know, like, within reason, obviously, but get to know the people you work with because you need to put your face in front of them so they know who you are.

Sam McKinney  32:35

Introduce yourself to anybody and everybody who will listen. Usually your internship your first week, is like them getting paperwork taken care of and figured out and you’re just sitting around like, learning the lay of the land, learn the lay of the land and go talk to people.

Chris Hanna  32:53

I guess one more piece of advice that I would advise people and this is whether you’re currently working or whether you’re trying to break into the industry, is just keep making stuff with people that you really admire and respect. Because oftentimes, you’ll find that the best work, or at least the work that you enjoy doing the most, is sometimes the stuff that, you know, you just start by shooting the shit. And then all of a sudden you’re like, Hey, can we make that? And then you go and make it, and then it’s awesome. So keep making things and do it with people that you like.

Sam McKinney  33:27

So what’s your best advice for whoever? 

Chris Hanna  33:29

You know, the best advice that I have is advice that one of the people that I emailed actually sent me, and he just simply said, don’t be precious. And at first I thought he was just talking about not being, you know, like a typical intern that is just trying to be precious with everything. But I think what he was trying to say was, don’t be so precious with your work that you can’t let it go.

Sam McKinney  33:54

Okay, what about you John? 

John Fish  33:56

Be kind. You know, treat, the golden rule. treat everyone the way you want to be treated. And while this industry is competitive, very competitive, it can do you no harm if you treat people nicely.

Sam McKinney  34:12

Cool. And my advice is I’ve been saying it a lot. Be hungry, but be humble. Try to do as much as you can, within your means. But be nice. Be humble about it. Don’t be don’t have an ego, let things go kill your babies.

John Fish  34:27

I don’t know if we can talk about killing babies, Sam, that might be too political.

Sam McKinney  34:33

Kill Your darlings? 

Chris Hanna  34:34

This is a lot more than one piece of advice, Sam.

Sam McKinney  34:37

Yeah, I have a lot of advice. I’m sorry. And reach out if you want. If you have questions reach out to us. We’ll be happy to answer those questions. 

Chris Hanna  34:43

Alrighty, thank you so much for joining us on our first ADvice ADtempted episode. We’re always looking for ways to make our little show better. So please leave us a review on Apple podcasts or comment on our Instagram at @ADtempted,  a-d-t-e-m-p-t-e-d. And with that, we will bid you goodbye until the next time we attempt to give you advice that you probably don’t need. 

John Fish  35:02

Bye! Outro music! doo doo doo doo doo

The post ADvice 001 – The ADtempters appeared first on ADtempted.

Blast off to the year 3000 to hear Chris, Sam and John share the horrifying truth about Slurm, and then turn it into a one-of-a-kind soda ad that’s pure crap.

ADtempt-003-Slurm • 47:53

Chris Hanna  00:00

Good news, everyone!

Sam McKinney  00:02

Did they bring Nixon’s head back to life? 

Chris Hanna  00:03

Nope. Well, maybe but that’s not what the good news is. 

John Fish  00:07

Did you finally get accepted into Mars university?

Chris Hanna  00:11

I checked, my application status still says “in orbit.”

Sam McKinney  00:14

Oh, I know. You said dating a robot.

Chris Hanna  00:17

I was, until Fernando-tron got…amnesia. 

Sam McKinney  00:24

Must have been your magnetic personality.

Chris Hanna  00:29

Anyway, the good news is that today’s product is from one of my favorite TV shows, set and the not so far off year of 3000.

John Fish  00:36

Shut up and take my money. 

Chris Hanna  00:38

All in good time, john.

Sam McKinney  00:45

Welcome back to ADtempted where we make ads for things that don’t really need them. I’m Sam, and I’m addicted to art.

John Fish  00:51

i’m john and i write things.

Chris Hanna  00:53

I’m Chris and I’m 40% copy.

Sam McKinney  00:55

This is a very special episode because we are recording on John’s birthday. Happy birthday. Man

John Fish  01:02

Ah, thanks, guys. 

Chris Hanna  01:03

How does it feel john? One year older, one year wiser? 

John Fish  01:08

Feels pretty good. We’ll see what happens. I’m hoping next year is better than this year. Anyway, as always, here’s the plan. We’re going to go around and share some thought starters. Then we’ll collaborate and execute a campaign and finally present it to you, our audience. What’s our product today, Chris?

Chris Hanna  01:28

Our product today is Slurm, the ooze-y soda from the TV show Futurama. Slurm is a delicious soft drink with a mysterious secret ingredient. It is highly addictive and the more you drink it, the more you crave to quench your never ending thirst. Slurm is the economic lifeblood of the planet Wormulon, and if the secret of the soft drink gets out, it could destroy their business and wreck economic ruin. Spoiler alert: the secret ingredient is an excrement from the Queen of Wormulon’s butt. Our target audience today is parents with kids aged 7 to 13 because we wanted to challenge ourselves to see what we could do with the soda market, which is an increasingly tough thing to break into.

Party Babe #1  02:15

Look, it’s Slurms Mackenzie!

Party Babe #2  02:15

He’s the original party worm!

Slurms Mackenzie  02:22

Whimmy-wham-wham-wazzle! Let’s party!

Chris Hanna  02:25

let’s let the birthday boy go first with his thought starters.

John Fish  02:30

Oh, well, thank you, Chris. All right. Well, I have came up with I’ve I have come up with two insights. I can’t fucking talk. Because I’m so flustered with the internet. Leave it in. don’t edit that out. Ashley. Okay, anyway: The natural choice. High Fructose Corn – high fructose corn syrup has cornered the soda market, leaving you, the parent, with terrible options to quench your kids’ thirst. The worms here on Wormulon believe your kids deserve better. They don’t need all that crap in their drink. So using our secret formula, we made Slurm and all natural soda that comes from a sustainable source. Not only are your kids getting a high quality soft drink, but it also is universally sustainable. The best of both worlds making slurm the natural choice. Obviously a bit of wordplay there, natural, I think, Okay, I think it’s kind of like I think one of the ways we corner parents is totally going like the organic natural route. So that’s where I was coming from with this one.

Chris Hanna  03:43

Yeah, for for those who aren’t familiar with the episode, it’s basically revealed that Slurm is literally just a product from the like Queen worm’s butt, it’s like nothing else. It’s straight up just her excrement.

Grunka Lunka’s  03:58

Yeah, she eats fruit, I guess, or some sort of blueberry? 

Chris Hanna  04:03

Aren’t they, like snozzle berries or something? 

Sam McKinney  04:06

and then she poops it out. And that’s Slurm. which makes sense cuz that’s what bees and ants and all of them do.

John Fish  04:18

Well, Sam, they even make reference to that in the episode about how we eat bee’s honey. So right on the nose there, man, right on the nose.

Chris Hanna  04:31

I like your inclusion of the best of both worlds because you’re getting the best of, I guess like Earth’s choice and also Wormulon’s choice. 

John Fish  04:39

Yeah, yeah, it’s kind of playing on that. And then also, like, the natural choice is like, Oh, it’s natural. And then, like, natural choices also kind of a saying that’s like, “Oh, well, naturally I chose to do…” right. So it’s just kind of like, Oh, that’s the easiest thing to do. And I think playing on the organic nature is really a good way to a parent’s heart. Yeah. 

Sam McKinney  05:03

Yeah, I think it works. 

John Fish  05:05

Awesome. Okay. The other quick one I got is make your children cool again. Tired of your kid coming home and complaining complaining about bullies? Are your children whiny wimps who deep down you know won’t ever have those golden years? Life is tough for kids. Why limit what they drink? Slurm is a thirst quenching drink that can also make your child cool. So help Slurm make your kid the coolest on the block.

Chris Hanna  05:42

I have a question: What does “they’re not gonna have their golden years” mean? Are they gonna die because they’re wimps?

John Fish  05:49

So the golden years from my understanding, and I’m probably totally wrong, but how I look at the golden years are like, the best years of your life right? Most of those years are not in high school. So I’m basically saying that these kids are not going to ever have like, very good years. Like, it’s just gonna be kind of, meh. You know what I mean? Like that. 

Chris Hanna  06:12

I love the values that we’re teaching on this podcast.

Grunka Lunka’s  06:16

I was, I totally agree with this one, I was actually trying to figure out how to position Slurm as something that makes you cool and, and fancy. Which I can go into, right. 

John Fish  06:28

So, it’s kind of funny, like Sam like to that point. Like, it’s like, this is almost from the kids perspective. It’s almost making the child’s argument to your parents, right? is how this is kind of what this insight is coming from. Like, it’s like, because you know, as a kid, when you’re like, “Mom, I want this I want this, I want this.” They’re just basically like, “shut up. I’m done.” But if we target the parents, like we’re from the kid but you using you know, a little bit better arguments then maybe this puts forth, we could, uh that’s that’s the way we could get to their their heartstrings.

Sam McKinney  07:08

slurm is cheaper the name brand clothes and cigarettes. The two other ways.

Chris Hanna  07:17

Sam, do you want to go next?

Grunka Lunka’s  07:19

Okay. Minor more insights I didn’t really I figured we would have very similar thoughts. So I didn’t want to like jump in too hard on some things. Kids not doing their chores, not eating their vegetables, not picking up after themselves. Give them a Slurm. It’s so addicting. They’ll do anything to get their next sip. Basically, instead of an allowance, just give them some Slurm it they’ll they’ll do anything.

Chris Hanna  07:44

I mean, the tagline in the show for slurm is, “it’s highly addictive!”

Grunka Lunka’s  07:48

Yeah. And it’s healthy. So it’s not a bad thing, which is my next insight. It’s literally organic, vegetarian and naturally processed. It’s the best healthy crap you’ll ever Drink. Then we have, it’s a taste so unique, it’s out of this world, literally like nothing you’ve ever experienced. 

Chris Hanna  08:10

Hmm, yeah, I had that thought too early on, and I wasn’t quite sure if I should include it or not. So I’m glad that you did.

Grunka Lunka’s  08:17

It’s it’s an interesting kind of aspect to it. And then for my last insight, this is kind of more of a real world example. I don’t know if you guys heard of civet coffee? I don’t even know that’s how you say it. The civet cat is in Asia, I believe in the cat eats coffee berries off the plant and then poops it out. It’s partially digested and fermented and people collect it and make coffee out of it and it’s supposed to be better. It’s like the world’s most expensive coffee. It’s like $100 per cup.

Chris Hanna  08:51

Is it $100 better than like, my like $4 cup of coffee or whatever?

Grunka Lunka’s  08:57

professional taste testers have said. It’s not, but it’s that cool factor. Like I’m drinking coffee out of some cat’s ass. So that makes me better than you. I’m more refined, which kind of makes me think that kind of goes hand in hand with the cool factor that John was talking about.

Chris Hanna  09:17

Hmm. Slurm is for snobs. 

Sam McKinney  09:20

Snobby Slurms. 

John Fish  09:21

Snobbies! Sam, a line that I really like that you wrote down here is “the best healthy crap you’ll ever drink.” I think it could be really fun if we lean in to, to that kind of, you know, like, who needs any of this crap when you can have Slurm right? 

Sam McKinney  09:42

Yeah.

John Fish  09:43

It’s just like basically talking about how crappy other sodas are when this is crap, right? 

Sam McKinney  09:49

This is literal crap.

John Fish  09:50

But I also I also really love the idea of using Slurm as like a theme to get your children addicted to so they do things that you want them to do.

Grunka Lunka’s  10:03

What would you do for a Klondike bar but soda form? 

John Fish  10:07

I love it. All right, let’s hear. Let’s hear ’em, Chris.

Chris Hanna  10:11

Alrighty, we’re gonna hear some of the same thoughts. So prepare yourselves. First one. These days, parents are hyper vigilant about nutrition labels because of all the crap put into processed foods like soda. But Slurm of course is different. It’s technically an organic product that is completely free of any earthly sugars, additives or preservatives. That means no added toxins to your kids favorite soft drink, just real Slurm from real worms. Second, I’m taking Sam’s idea and putting it a little step further. Any parent will tell you that raising preteens is a nightmare. They become rebellious, they’re hopped up on hormones, and most want nothing to do with the people who raised them. However, Slurm might be just addictive enough to get those rambunctious tweens to behave and pay attention to their parents. Preteens can get into all sorts of bad stuff, but this is one addiction their parents can control. And last but not least, I just threw this in because I thought it was funny. Spoiler alert: in the end of the Slurm factory tour episode, the brand’s mascot sacrifices himself to save the main characters from certain doom. The soda brand now needs a new mascot, and who better than the Oompa Loompa-like workers in the episode who dance and sing in the Slurm factory? These small orange men, known as Grunka Lanka’s, can give Slurm a new voice that moves away from the disgusting truth about the product, and they can entertain both kids and parents with their ominous rhymes and dancing.

Grunka Lunka’s  11:38

I like the earth free soda because we all kind of have that we’re all leaning towards that sort of feel. But one of the lines that popped in my head was “why drink sodas that put in all that crap when you can drink Slurm which is purely crap?”

Chris Hanna  11:53

Our crap is better than their crap. 

Sam McKinney  11:56

The best crap

Leela  11:58

I’ve never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm.

Fry  12:01

This is nothing! Back in high school, I used to drink 100 cans of cola a week, right up until my third heart attack.

John Fish  12:07

I feel like Yeah, no, I feel like we have kind of right now we have almost two different directions. We have one, where it’s like, almost just giving in to what the kids, giving in, the parents just giving into the kids, right? And just being like, Okay, fine. You get this, I’m going to get this for you. And that’s like, that goes with the addiction ones that you guys wrote and then, like, make your children cool, right? It’s kind of like just it’s like just the parents like being like, whatever, like I’m over it. And then the other one is, which I think is probably a little bit more obvious, is the natural choice right, or the natural choice or the earth free soda. And the why drink why drinks soda when you can drink Slurm type of type of brief right? And I think it’ll be interesting to see which one wins out out of those two thoughts there.

Grunka Lunka’s  13:08

Yeah, I think the way that I’m thinking about it is like, reward kids naturally. Or like, a never before drink that you’ve like never before taste or something like out of this world. Cool like you want to be the cool be the first ones that try it, because technically we’ll be launching this on earth because this probably doesn’t exist right now.

Chris Hanna  13:32

I’ll be honest, I am not seeing the cool factor thing as much as maybe you guys are. And perhaps you can sell me on it a little bit more? Is it just because of like the mascot Slurms Mackenzie being the original party worm that it makes you cool?

Grunka Lunka’s  13:48

I think it’s more the fact that it’s such a unique thing like cronuts, and all those things that they have. They come out with like you always wanted that the first one to try this new trend. It’s the new fad. So it’s like the Civet coffee. Do you really want to drink coffee, shit out by a cat, other than the fact that it’s cool because everyone else thinks it’s cool? That’s the question. I mean, I don’t know if it’s, it’s not a benefit, besides the fact that we would make it seem like it’s the next big thing. 

Chris Hanna  14:21

Hmm. I see. So here would be my argument, then. I think that given that we’re trying to reach parents, not necessarily like, Well, I suppose that we’re trying to like reach kids, but we are trying to reach them through their parents, because parents are the ones who are making the rules and who also have the spending ability. And that to me says that we should probably go more for the reward kids naturally direction, and we can incorporate elements of like being cool. And having you know, like it being like this out of world flavor with the whole like nutrition natural aspect of it.

Grunka Lunka’s  15:03

the best way to do it is one benefit. And I think the strongest two are the natural. And then I guess, how would you present kids’ addiction to it? Would addiction be the benefit?

Chris Hanna  15:18

Well, I don’t think that addiction is the benefit so much as it is the 

John Fish  15:22

Control.

Chris Hanna  15:23

Yeah, the things that you’re able to do. It’s like, the the addiction you can control. 

John Fish  15:28

Yeah.

Chris Hanna  15:28

Rather, the addiction that parents control.

Grunka Lunka’s  15:31

Yeah. So I think those are the two directions that we should go. We play on the addiction factor or the natural factor. I think if we go the natural factor, we have more fun with this crap that play on words, which could be funny in the end, or we go more ridiculous and try and get kids addicted to the shit without any repercussions because it’s not bad for them. Well, is it? I don’t know. I don’t think they ever say it’s bad for you.

Chris Hanna  16:00

Well, there’s kind of a saying that says that anything you get addicted to probably isn’t great for you. But in terms of like what the show tells us about Slurm, it’s probably not great for you, because there’s this one version of Slurm called Slurm Loco that we can only assume is like a different flavor. And one of the characters eat so much or drinks so much of it, that he becomes radioactive and glows. So.

Grunka Lunka’s  16:29

is he radioactive? Or is he just glowing?

Chris Hanna  16:32

I think at one point, like he tries touching something and it like vaporizes before him.

Sam McKinney  16:39

Oh, yeah.

Chris Hanna  16:40

Yeah. So I mean, depending on who you ask, some people will say, hey, that’s not healthy for you. Other people will say, dude, you’re a Fantastic Four person, go out there and solve crime. Regardless. It’s probably not great for you. But you know, it’s the FDA hasn’t reviewed it yet, I don’t know how they would review it. So keep that in mind, I suppose. 

Sam McKinney  17:07

Yeah. Okay. What do you think, John? 

John Fish  17:10

As far as what direction I’m leaning more towards? or? 

Chris Hanna  17:13

Yeah.

John Fish  17:14

I think probably the natural, reward naturally, or naturally rewards, because because Yeah, I think that’s just a pretty like that gets the parent. You know, if I was a parent that would be like kind of like, Oh yeah, that’s good. It’s good for my kids. But at the same time, I have to say, I do think it is a really funny idea. If we make the commercial or the ads almost as annoying as the kids asking their parents for the drink all the time.

Chris Hanna  17:45

So it’s like an endless stream of pop up ads wherever you go, like you’re on Amazon shopping for like a chair, and you all of a sudden get these ads that are like, “Can I have some Slurm?”

John Fish  17:57

Right. But that being said, the natural choice is also, or the natural reward naturally is also more natural. See what I did there?

Chris Hanna  18:06

So there’s one thing about that line that I want to I want to poke at a little bit. Because I think that the benefit is that it’s healthier for you in some way because it’s lacking all of these other things that are in it. And I think that the language that Sam was talking about, the crap, kind of lines up with that a little bit better than like reward naturally, because reward naturally is a testing a little bit more towards the addiction aspect that we were talking about.

John Fish  18:35

Right, No, that’s a good point. I think I agree there too, Chris.

Grunka Lunka’s  18:39

Yeah, I think the plane on the crap thing is a smarter way about it. It’ll it’ll get people to doubletake like, you’re talking about crap? What do you mean? 

John Fish  18:49

Okay, here we go. Here we go: Why drink crap when you can drink crap?

Chris Hanna  18:58

Yeah, there was one point where I was Concepting and I was like is there a way that we can make it like a fancy product, like le Slurmé and then I realized that was a bad idea. 

John Fish  19:09

Le Slurm. 

Chris Hanna  19:10

Because there is this, just to talk about this idea that we’re not going to pursue for a second, there is this kind of interesting idea of in like an imported good that people don’t know that much about, and that you know, the best stuff is always the stuff that isn’t packaged in the factory, it’s like packaged by some, you know, smaller organization that doesn’t put nutrition labels on it because they’re big enough for like them to be regulated. I digress. Let’s sell some crap, shall we?

Grunka Lunka’s  19:46

Grunka Lunka dunkety doo, We’ve got a friendly warning for you, Grunka Lunka dunkety dasis, The secret of Slurm’s on a need-to-know basis.

Chris Hanna  19:58

Okay, so as much as I love that idea about like a pop up ad that follows you wherever you’re shopping, I’m not sure if it’s I guess like attesting to the insight as much as it was the the other thing that we’re talking about, addiction 

John Fish  20:15

Yeah, so fortunately I don’t think,Yeah, I don’t think that was really much anymore.

Grunka Lunka’s  20:20

Yeah, that’s a different direction completely. So this time, how would you, how would we sell crap?

Chris Hanna  20:27

Well, I think it’s kind of what we were talking about earlier. Like, why, why have their crap when you can have our crap? And I don’t know maybe there’s something about like we cut out all the crap except for the crap that you really want or something. is there? Is there something about that because it comes out of a worm queen. So is there like a royal crap or we crap out royalty or stuff like that? Like some sort of-  We crap out liquid gold.

John Fish  21:05

Let’s think about like us think about maybe if we think about placement, we can think it will come to us a little bit better. So like, Where? Where do we reach these parents? Like, is this gonna be like in store advertising? You know? Like, is this going to be by this soda’s like already

Chris Hanna  21:26

Something that tells me that might be a good way to go is if we want to juxtapose the idea of their crap versus our crap. Because I’m imagining in my head like some sort of in store display, that is like pointing to the sodas that’s on like the left and right, and is referencing the crap that they have in them versus like the crap that we have.

Sam McKinney  21:48

Yeah, it would end up being like a laundry list of ingredients for like, soda, normal soda, and all the different flavors and then on our side, it just Crap.

Chris Hanna  22:00

100% crap.

John Fish  22:03

That’s exactly where my head was going to there, right right there, Sam.

Chris Hanna  22:09

You know, it’s kind of funny is we there’s this kind of like thinking that a lot of like soda companies are sort of like pulling a fast one on consumers because they’re, you know, they hide all of these chemicals and toxins by saying things like additives or other natural flavors or whatever. And in a way, we’re the ones who like aren’t bullshitting them on what’s actually in our stuff. And I kind of love this idea of like, 100% crap, 0% bullshit.

John Fish  22:42

or like or no bullshit just crap.

Grunka Lunka’s  22:45

My thing would be RX bars. Their commercial campaign right now is no bullshit.

Chris Hanna  22:51

Do they actually say that in like the ad?

Grunka Lunka’s  22:54

I mean, it’s it’s their that’s their tagline is no bullshit. 

John Fish  22:58

Wow.

Chris Hanna  23:00

Okay, so then maybe we can move away from bullshit if it’s already being used in like a really popular brand. And bew-bew-bew, going back to John’s point about placement. So the interesting thing to me is that I don’t feel like I actually see a whole lot of soda advertisements that are in store. Maybe that’s just me. I know that there’s like, you know, when you’re checking out in the at the grocery store, there’s like a Coca Cola-branded refrigerator that’s right there by the cash register. But besides that, I feel like soda advertising maybe takes place elsewhere? I’m not quite sure where.

Grunka Lunka’s  23:41

Pepsi and Coke do like huge big ideas, stuff, events and stuff just to get their name out there. But then there are like certain brands do like in-store promotions to kind of get certain like a stand or something that kind of gets your attention like Gatorade does that a lot, or they do a lot of programmatic stuff. You enter the code on the cap and you can win, there’s a big prize for whatever reason, or you can collect points.

Chris Hanna  24:06

Right? I will say that I not sure if like the high level stuff is right for Slurm because people probably aren’t as like familiar with it as like Pepsi and Coke.

Grunka Lunka’s  24:16

Yes. If we go health tonic, like kombucha that’s more social and taste tests at events, getting your name out there. So maybe it’s like, experiential or like taste tests. Something like that. I don’t know though. It’s gonna be interesting because do we how far into like, are we tongue in cheek eating crap, are we coming out and say, “Hey, this is crap. This is literal shit from something,” like we I think we needed to decide that. 

Chris Hanna  24:43

Hmm.

John Fish  24:44

I think that we’re not saying that. I think that we’re like, I think that we’re saying that it’s crap. But I think that we’re not saying that like, “Oh, this comes from a worm’s butt.”

Grunka Lunka’s  24:57

it’s a organically produced compound created through natural processes. Like it’s a single compound. That’s the way maybe that’s the way we should. Or maybe we come up with a an anagram with crap. Like,

John Fish  25:12

I was just gonna say what if it’s an anagram like…crap is a hard one to do like it

Sam McKinney  25:20

Created Rectal something.

John Fish  25:25

We can’t have rectal in it, Sam.

Grunka Lunka’s  25:28

I know it’s just hilarious.

Chris Hanna  25:34

Here’s what I will say as someone who is very much in touch with their middle school grade sense of humor. If I was like a kid and I saw crap on like a soda, I would kind of be interested in it. At the very least, I would giggle and then I would be like, “Hey, Mom, look, it’s crap.”

Grunka Lunka’s  25:53

Yeah, I think I think the best way since we’re kind of marketing towards kids having fun with it, but then also their parents like we, we play off the crap part as if it’s like a tongue in cheek thing. Like, it’s like, “Hey, we’re crap.” But it’s like we’re actually crap. But you don’t know that we’re actually crap. Like we we lean into it so far that people assume that we’re joking.

Sam McKinney  26:20

So when they come back to sue us, we’re like, “But hey, we told you up front. It was crap.”

John Fish  26:25

right. 

Chris Hanna  26:26

This is crap!

John Fish  26:28

I think No, I think that’s kind of the way to go. Like, yeah, I agree. I like that. I think that’s really funny. And it does play to both the parents and the kids.

Grunka Lunka’s  26:39

And then if we do that, there’s like, me we have an experiential pop up that goes everywhere and it’s just “try some crap.” And it’s just like, we have a bunch of- 

Chris Hanna  26:49

The crap booth?

Grunka Lunka’s  26:52

Yeah, stuff like that, like just play heavily into it, but it’s like, try some crap and it’s like, you go into an outhouse, but it’s actually a refrigerator full of Slurm.

Chris Hanna  27:06

So you so you open the Porta Potty, step in and someone standing there and they’re like “Hello, would you like to try some crap today?”

Sam McKinney  27:14

Take some crap. 

John Fish  27:16

Free crap.

Chris Hanna  27:17

if you really awkward if they just wanted to use the bathroom. Yeah, I was kind of thinking about the like taste testing experiential thing too. And maybe you could almost like make a game out of it or it’s like spot the crap or like taste the crap where you can like give people like different kinds of soda. And then you can tell them like, “so which one of these has crap in it?” And then you’re like, Oh, I don’t know, that one?” and it’s like, “yeah, it’s got sucralose and maltodextrin and whatever else the hell else is in Coca Cola.”

Grunka Lunka’s  27:53

This makes me think of I’m trying to think of how to say this. So the soda junk food market has always been referred to as crap, crap food stuff like that. So what if the line is something like making crap good again? Like we’re making soda good again, but really it’s we’re making shit good again? There’s kind of that double play.

Chris Hanna  28:19

Was it good? Yeah I think like “better” is probably the way to go, was the soda industry like really not crap at some point?

Grunka Lunka’s  28:29

Um I mean when coke had cocaine in it I’m sure a lot of people liked it.

Chris Hanna  28:35

Fair point, fair point. I’m also trying to think of this I guess like comparison to because in my mind like the thing that parents are most conscious of is like the stuff that isn’t supposed to be in the soda. And I’m wondering if there’s maybe like a parallel between prou- like proudly wearing like the crap, you know branding, but also pointing out like the junk so to speak that isn’t in it.

Grunka Lunka’s  29:05

Yeah, I think that’s, because you’re going to get your kids soda. No matter what. I don’t know any kid who has never, well, there’s probably one or two, that has never had soda in their entire life. So it’s feels like make better crap or making better crap or the better crap. “Slurm. The better crap.”

Chris Hanna  29:25

The better crap. Yeah. I was also thinking of like, “all crap no junk” or something.

Sam McKinney  29:32

Yeah. 

John Fish  29:32

I kind of like “just crap.”

Grunka Lunka’s  29:35

that the I think that doesn’t come off as like healthy though. In that phrase. Like better crap says “hey, the sodas it’s sold as bad for you, but at least we’re better than the other sodas” but just crap is like, “well, it’s just the bad stuff or just just shit.”

John Fish  29:51

What if Okay, okay, what if like, obviously, and I don’t know if this if this works for it, but like, we know it’s crap. Right? Yeah, we know it’s crap. No one else knows it’s crap. 

Chris Hanna  30:03

Mm hmm.

John Fish  30:04

Well, could this get- 

Chris Hanna  30:06

So I have a question about that actually. 

John Fish  30:08

Yeah. 

Chris Hanna  30:08

Are they gonna read the ingredients and be like, “Oh, so that’s what it made what it’s made of”?

Grunka Lunka’s  30:14

That’s where the whole organically created compounds comes into play.

Chris Hanna  30:22

That’s how we’re phrasing it!

Sam McKinney  30:25

Yeah, maybe. 

John Fish  30:26

But like that’s the thing though. Like we could we could play on the fact that everyone else is crap. Look at all the stuff that’s in there, ours is just a natural, sustainable. We can use words that are not saying that it’s crap, but are kind of like dropping hints at it you know, like a regenerated reusable ingredients. ingredients, recycled ingredients.

Chris Hanna  30:50

Minimally processed.

John Fish  30:52

Yeah, no, like, I’m serious. Like, I think that’s more fun, and then we don’t have the weird issue like “This is crap.”

Grunka Lunka’s  31:01

I personally think they live hand in hand. Like I think the the tagline is something like “the better crap.” But that’s just the tagline and the copy or the words and everything else is very much like playing on that recycled ingredients or minimally processed or er- organically or naturally processed something like that. And this is speaking to our audience because we’re making an ad to sell to real people. But our audience also knows that this is crap, because we told them. So it’s like an inside joke that they’ll get, that they’ll find this ad to be funny, if that makes sense.

John Fish  31:38

Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, so then, like naturally processed crap.

Chris Hanna  31:42

I was trying to think of line with some something like, “This crap’s natural, there’s isn’t” or something like that.

John Fish  31:50

I don’t know. I don’t know. But I feel like that almost like, because I hear you Chris. Like I was thinking the same way. How do we say that without being so A-B-C?

Sam McKinney  31:59

Yeah. 

John Fish  31:59

And I’m wondering if the placement of this and grocery stores is enough to be like, Oh yeah, cuz it’s like buy all this other like, garbage. That’s why it’s saying like naturally processed crap, right?

Grunka Lunka’s  32:12

I think. Yeah, when we’re writing when the the mindset we should be in is when we’re saying crap, we’re talking soda, and that’s how we should write 

John Fish  32:22

Yes. Yeah right. 

Sam McKinney  32:24

Really what we’re talking about is that they’re the you’re gonna drink crap anyways at least make this better.

John Fish  32:29

yeah why not drink naturally processed crap?

Grunka Lunka’s  32:32

Yeah I think that’s the the funny angle and then it has the extra layer of it’s actually crap it’s actually shit.

Chris Hanna  32:42

So it sounds like we’re kind of gravitating around this idea of doing something in store.

Grunka Lunka’s  32:46

I don’t know Are there other because you kind of just went there and

John Fish  32:49

I think we said that because that’s kind of like where that’s like the easiest like oh that’s where people would definitely see this right? 

Chris Hanna  32:56

Mm hmm 

John Fish  32:57

I think there’s probably other areas too

Sam McKinney  33:00

movie movie theaters would be a good place to, um, we could do a partnership with fast food. Or like 711, or…

Chris Hanna  33:11

Is there like a, an anti fast food-fast food place?  Funny you say that! Oh!

Sam McKinney  33:18

Ashley is currently watching Supersize Me 2 where the guy makes a fast food restaurant. And that is exactly what you’re talking about.

Chris Hanna  33:29

So I didn’t have that much soda as a kid, but if you guys did, where were you drinking it most of the time?

Sam McKinney  33:36

Everywhere. 

Chris Hanna  33:37

Everywhere! Okay, skate park? Where else?

Sam McKinney  33:41

I mean, in the Midwest, you don’t drink water. You drink soda. Some people drink water, but they’re weird.

Chris Hanna  33:47

John, what about you?

John Fish  33:48

Ooh, you know, I was drinking it. You know? On the school playground. 

Chris Hanna  33:55

Are you Canadian all of a sudden?

John Fish  33:57

No, I was drinking, do you guys know what I drank? Like, all the time, like when I was like a kid, like in this demo? Was were these drinks called Fruitopia. 

Sam McKinney  34:09

Oh yeah, the Fruitopia. That’s bad shit. That’s a lot of sugar. 

John Fish  34:14

Surge is a soda that I kind of like whenever I think of Slurm, I think of Surge and they’re like the same colors. 

Sam McKinney  34:21

Surge is back. 

Chris Hanna  34:22

It has resurged.

Sam McKinney  34:24

I don’t know like my parents also didn’t really control what I drank and ate. That just wasn’t how they were. And I also wasn’t the type, like I never really loved sugar.

Chris Hanna  34:33

Were you a child, John?

John Fish  34:35

No, I was born a 29 year old man.

Chris Hanna  34:40

29 years ago today? 

John Fish  34:41

29 years ago today! 

Chris Hanna  34:43

From my experience with, not soda but my thing was more candy, a lot of the time I would get it from like a gas station with my parents like doing errands and they would have to get gas and I would clamor to go inside and get something and they’d be like, yeah, okay, whatever.

John Fish  34:59

Um, I think I might have figured out our like, “the good crap.”

Chris Hanna  35:05

I kind of like that actually. It’s kind of simple.

Grunka Lunka’s  35:09

Yeah, I think that works.

John Fish  35:11

Slurm. The Good Crap.

Chris Hanna  35:13

Yeah, I like that a lot. Let’s go with that.

Sam McKinney  35:15

Now how do we translate that into ads?

John Fish  35:20

Oh, my job here is done.

Chris Hanna  35:24

Stepping out?

John Fish  35:25

You guys like, right? No, um, yeah. What about, remember those meth commercials where it shows like meth mouth, and they’re just like gnarly pictures right?

Chris Hanna  35:37

Oh, and there’s all that like truth advertising, right?  Dude, totally. I feel like that’s what this campaign might be actually. In my head I’m imagining like, this kid who’s like trying to walk home from school. And there’s like a bunch of kids in like biker, outfits and they’re all drinking like, the brand name sodas. And they’re like, “Hey kid, give us your your Soda money,” and then like a hero, like swoops in and he’s he’s the good hero because he drinks the good crap or something.

Grunka Lunka’s  36:08

All I can think about right now is if you have to attack somebody else, it’s not a good ad.

Chris Hanna  36:14

Fine, Sam. We won’t attack anyone else.

John Fish  36:17

what my train of thought has always been kind of, if you’re number one, you don’t attack anyone. 

Sam McKinney  36:24

Yeah, I mean if you’re the underdog it’s you have a lot more to fight for.

John Fish  36:28

Yeah, it’s more it’s more accepted if you’re the underdog for sure. But I get I hear your point. I don’t know if it’s like attacking other brands as much as it is saying pointing out an alternative, right? It’s not necessarily crapping on soda. It’s more just saying like, this is actually a little bit better for you. This is better crap.

Grunka Lunka’s  36:49

I guess if it’s more like attacking the the whole market in general, like the whole space of soda in general? And “we’re better than that.”

Chris Hanna  36:58

Yeah, I don’t think that attacking is the right way to go either. I was just thinking that in the vein of those like Truth ads, a lot of the time they’ll present some scenario where there’s this like group of people who’s doing the bad thing, and they end up like paying for it in some like way or fashion. And I think that there’s also like the good point of, if we are talking about like the good crap, we are kind of insinuating that there is bad crap out there. 

Sam McKinney  37:28

Yeah. 

Chris Hanna  37:28

And so not so much attacking so much as it is just making an observation about the other alternatives besides Slurm that are out there.

Grunka Lunka’s  37:37

And I’m good with that. I think that works. I think, inferring that we’re better than everyone else, without being too direct works. Like we don’t have this stuff, we don’t have, we don’t need high fructose corn syrup. We don’t need all this other shit. We’re the good crap. We can stand on our own naturally process compounds. 

John Fish  37:57

What about Yeah, I don’t know. Like what if it is how They’re like that then it’s like news. No high fructose corn syrup. Slurm, the good crap? 

Chris Hanna  38:06

Here’s what I’m thinking. Something that I’ve noticed a lot with, like, especially like alcohol advertising, bear with me for a second, is that I feel like the benefit of like enjoying this lighter beer, even though it’s still like a light beer, is like important, you have to have this idea that whatever it is you’re selling, if even if it’s like a healthier version of the typical version of the thing, it’s still in a way like an indulgence or it’s something to like, be enjoyed. And that’s kind of got me thinking about this idea of like, don’t totally discount this as like, a health drink. Because for all we know, like, it probably isn’t, you know, it’s addictive in some form. 

Sam McKinney  38:54

Yeah. 

Chris Hanna  38:54

Your kid is not gonna be able to stop drinking it. And so in my mind, it’s like you like to just take out like the junk from like the junk food. It’s almost sort of like, junk-free junk food, in a way if that makes sense. Like don’t market it as like a health tonic, just say like, this is still like a soda. This is still something that hopefully you’re not going to give your kid like three of every single day, but it’s like the healthy it’s the better version of that thing.

John Fish  39:26

Yeah. Yeah. Should it just be then like, real crap?

Chris Hanna  39:31

No, I’m saying like, I think the tagline the good crap is smart because it’s attesting to that idea. Like it’s, it’s the crap that you are going to be giving your kid at the end of the day but it’s like the better good, so to speak, version of that. And so thing that whatever other like accompanying copy that we come up with, if there is any, and I think if there is any, it should be real simple. Like you guys pointed out with a lot of other brands, creating like the lighter, healthier version of things. It’s usually a lot simpler in nature. I’m just saying that like, we should continue to message like, yeah, like, this is like a soda. This is an essence like junk food, but it just doesn’t have that junk in it, so to speak.

John Fish  40:15

Mm hmm. That’s interesting. That’s an interesting point, though. Like, does this need that much more copy? If it is just kind of like more of a rebranding, making it look a lot cleaner, making it look nice. making it look just natural, I guess. 

Sam McKinney  40:31

It would, it would definitely be a rebranding of some sort. So there’s gonna be some explorations there. But I think like, minimally processed, or naturally processed, something like that. And then a follow up line, like, something about that process or-

John Fish  40:46

Dude, I honestly I honestly, like, naturally processed, white background, picture of the soda can, and then Slurm the good stuff. Because I think that’s I think Chris brings up a good point. Like, you kind of don’t want that much copy. And I feel like that kind of gets across the point pretty pretty well. I don’t know, I just like that, I can even see the ad right now in my mind.

Sam McKinney  41:13

there is something to be said about it being very simple because it’s one ingredient. I don’t know about being on white, it’d be like in a natural setting.

John Fish  41:21

Alright, art director. 

Sam McKinney  41:23

Like just imagine like a nice organic-looking, like kind of-  Forest background?  Like on a table, with a nice park in the background, or something like a wood table it just sitting Right.  And then like the can designs very natural-looking like, earthy colors with the Slurm green and the words but the logo will be a little bit different. And then the tagline: the good crap. Yeah, I think that I think that works. 

John Fish  41:52

Should we think of other funny ways to kind of get to the point of what it is without saying what it is?

Sam McKinney  41:56

Yes. 

Chris Hanna  41:57

Yeah. Um, let’s see. So it is naturally processed is, I think the idea of like it being a single ingredient is also a selling point.

Sam McKinney  42:07

Is it one ingredient? Or is it like no excess ingradients?

Chris Hanna  42:12

I don’t know, my mind keeps going back to this idea of like, like “100% naturally processed soda, 0% junk” or something like that.

John Fish  42:21

It just doesn’t get to that, the kind of pun that we’re kind of also like trying to hit too.

Sam McKinney  42:26

Yeah, and if we’re gonna keep the same sort of pattern, even keep it around two or three words, it’ll feel like it’s in the same sort of world.

Chris Hanna  42:34

It’s canned at the source.

Sam McKinney  42:38

It’s feels very much like natural spring water.

John Fish  42:43

I like it though. I think I think that’s funny. I just, I mean, it just puts the picture in my head of her like, shitting in the cans in the cartoon.

Chris Hanna  42:52

Okay, um, so we’ve got naturally naturally processed, canned at the source. I like additive free, but I feel like it, like there’s something else that it needs, you know?  What if it’s “all organic ingredient” without the “s”? I kind of like that. All organic ingredient. Is there something maybe about like other soda that we can think about that – what about like flavoring, for example? Out of this world flavor.

Sam McKinney  43:26

Unworldly flavor. 

John Fish  43:27

I don’t think “unworldly” works like I think that unfortunately gets away from natural a little bit.

Chris Hanna  43:32

Hmmm. Pure flavor.

Sam McKinney  43:35

It could also be since there’s only one ingredient maybe there’s a like, naked flavor. Like it’s just one thing. It’s just flavor.

Chris Hanna  43:44

Naked. 

John Fish  43:45

I like both, Chris said, pure flavor. And pure is a pretty good word, I think, for this too.  Cause that’s how we’re selling it right? As like natural, pure.  Pure is a good word. Yeah. Pristine.

44:05

Pure ingredients. Would that be it?

Chris Hanna  44:08

Pure ingredient? 

Sam McKinney  44:10

Yeah. 

Chris Hanna  44:11

Yes. I really love the idea of getting rid of the “s,” for some reason. It’s like a subtle nod at the fact of what this really is. Yeah. Do you want to go for that? Like, pure ingredient? 

Sam McKinney  44:24

Sure.

Chris Hanna  44:25

Okay, cool. So it sounds like this is almost more of like a rebrand, which I’m totally cool and okay with, have you guys thought about, like what form this would ultimately take on? 

Sam McKinney  44:38

We could do commercial, we could do just posters. We could do print ads. I don’t think I think the rebrand’s the main thing. 

Chris Hanna  44:46

I know that we kind of thought that the in store thing was just like a first gut reaction. But is there something to be said for just like, a really simple sort of, I don’t know what you would call it, like piece of collateral above like a shelving unit for the cans of soda that just says like one of the lines that we’ve got here?

Sam McKinney  45:11

Yeah, we can do that. We could do either a standee like a, one of those little shelf things that go in the middle of an aisle.

Chris Hanna  45:19

Yeah. 

Sam McKinney  45:19

Or we can do a shelf strip. Or we can do like, a hanging thing.

Chris Hanna  45:26

Yeah, something, something like that. Because I think that it, it does, like the simplicity of like, the copy that we’ve come up with does work well for that medium. 

Sam McKinney  45:36

Okay. 

Chris Hanna  45:37

What do you say, John? 

John Fish  45:38

I think that’s like, that’s how I was thinking of it, too. That’s awesome. I’m stoked on this. This is gonna be funny.

Wormulon Queen  45:44

We’ll market it as “new Slurm.” Then when everyone hates it, we’ll bring back “Slurm Classic” and make billions.

John Fish  45:54

Run it back, Chris. 

Chris Hanna  45:56

Okay, so our insight is that slurm is the healthiest junk food that you can get for your kid. And that’s led us to the tagline “the good crap.” For the execution, we’re going to be doing an in store display with a very simple visual rebrand, along with simple copy that’s going to be speaking to the organic, natural aspects of the soda, as well as hinting at the fact that it literally is crap. And so the first line that we have is “naturally processed.” The second one is “canned at the source.” And last “pure ingredient.” The good crap. Slurm.

Sam McKinney  46:36

Good job, everybody. I think this one’s a good one.

John Fish  46:40

I think this is some good crap!

Sam McKinney  46:42

You beat me to it. 

Chris Hanna  46:45

We were selling crap. Well, John, we hope that you have a very happy birthday. Do you have any any big plans? 

John Fish  46:53

I think we’re gonna get takeout, and this will be the first time that we’ve gotten takeout since everything happened in our-

Sam McKinney  46:59

Who you got, where you gonna get it from? 

Chris Hanna  47:01

Yeah?

John Fish  47:02

um, I I’m trying to decide right now, it’s actually kind of tough. And like the basic bitch in me wants to get Cheesecake Factory.

Chris Hanna  47:13

There is no shame with the Cheesecake Factory. All right, well, while John decides what restaurant to get his first takeout in months from, we want to thank everyone for listening to this episode. You can as always follow us on Instagram at @ADtempted, A-D-T-E-M-P-T-E-D. Spelled it right that time! And yeah, any any last words of wisdom, Sam?

Sam McKinney  47:41

Pop open the good crap. 

Chris Hanna  47:42

John Fish  47:42

Bon voyage!

The post ADtempt 003 – Slurm appeared first on ADtempted.

Hold your companion cube close as Sam, Chris and John test their [insert skill here] with the Portal video game AI supervillain – for science!

ADTEMPTED – adtempt 002 – GLaDOS • 43:38

John Fish  00:00

Hey, Chris, have you have you heard from Sam yet? We need to get started. We need to go. 

Robot Sam  00:05

I am here.

Chris Hanna  00:06

Oh shit Sam turned himself into a robot!

John Fish  00:09

Hasn’t Sam always been a robot or have I just not noticed?

Robot Sam  00:13

I have concluded that the most efficient way to advertise insert product here was to remove human error.

Chris Hanna  00:21

Well, let’s hope that robot Sam is programmed with more empathy than today’s product. Otherwise we might be the next errors he removes.

John Fish  00:29

Hey, robot Sam, can you make your voice sound a little bit more like human Sam?

Sam McKinney  00:35

How does this sound?

John Fish  00:38

Okay, close enough. Welcome back to AD tempted where we make ads for things that don’t really need them. I’m john and i write things. 

Sam McKinney  00:47

I’m Sam and I experiment with art.

Chris Hanna  00:50

I’m Chris and I write copy in exchange for cake.

John Fish  00:52

We may not have a special guest today, but we do have a very special product that we cannot wait to dive into. So Here’s the plan. We’re going to go around and share some thought starters. And then we’ll collaborate on a campaign, execute it and finally present it to you, our audience. What’s the product today, Sam?

Sam McKinney  01:12

Today we’re doing GLaDOS or genetic live form and disk operating system from the portal video game series. She is the talking AI supercomputer who runs a massive scientific research facility in the game. She is as intelligent as she is snarky and programmed to create and run manipulative problem solving experiments on humans and robots. Once plugged in she can mass produce things like killer robots and neurotoxin, but her most deadly trait is her insults. Think of her as a more witty, passive aggressive version of Hal in 2001 Space Odyssey. The target today is Gen pop, mainly because why wouldn’t we market this to an average human? Why wouldn’t we? It’d be fun.

GLaDOS  01:54

before we start However, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all Enrichment Center activities, serious injuries may occur.

Chris Hanna  02:05

Alrighty, john, what do you got for us?

John Fish  02:07

All right. So, ai with a human touch, let’s face it, AI is going to kill us all. So we’re going to create something that will kill us. Why not make it a little bit more human? With all the wit and narcissism of your typical American, obviously a little more narcissistic than not, with GLaDOS, it will surely wipe us out. But it will be nice to have the human touch. And basically, with this idea, just kind of like Siri and Alexa are so robotic, and they’re so polite. You can call them whatever you want, and they’ll respond with. “That’s not very nice.” Whereas this OS will respond with, “Yeah, okay, that’s not very nice,” but it’s also going to be probably plotting to kill you. So I think it’s just an interesting way to look at AI and Potentially get us to a more interesting space in the AI realm. 

Sam McKinney  03:06

It would be a fun way to get killed by a robot. It’d be very enjoyable. I’d laughed the whole way.

Chris Hanna  03:12

1001 ways to die via GLaDOS.

Sam McKinney  03:16

Yeah, it’d be hilarious.

Chris Hanna  03:19

Up until the very last moment.

John Fish  03:23

We’re kind of in a race right now to see what’s going to wipe human population out first.

Chris Hanna  03:29

Yeah, and and maybe there’s something in the idea of like, the AI figures out what kind of death you want, and then it delivers that preferred death upon you. You know, it’s like, customizable, like living your whole life, you know, with technological preferences, like with music, and movies, you get recommendations for all those things. And it’s like, you know what, here is your recommended way to die.

John Fish  03:56

With no, I like the idea of it not even asking you. Kind of like in the game, where GLaDOS is just kind of gently leading you towards your death, right? 

Chris Hanna  04:07

Mm hmm. 

John Fish  04:07

What if? What if this AI system doesn’t even ask you it just gathers all this intelligence, and then you don’t even know it. But when you do get wiped out, you’re like, oh, that was actually a pretty good way to go. 

Chris Hanna  04:20

Yeah, yeah, it’s kind of “Whoa. Cust- it was just like it was for me.” I was kind of thinking like, Do you guys know in Futurama, those death telephone booths? 

Sam McKinney  04:31

Yeah, yeah. 

Chris Hanna  04:33

That was the first thing that popped in my mind. 

Sam McKinney  04:35

That’s hilarious. That’d be fun. 

John Fish  04:37

Next product.

Sam McKinney  04:40

That’s gonna be down the line somewhere. Yeah,

Chris Hanna  04:42

Let us know in the comment section. What products do you want us to do next?

Sam McKinney  04:48

Alright, let’s jump into my stuff. First one. Let’s face it. Young adults don’t make the best decisions. Heck, they don’t even have the life skills to recognize which decisions they have to make. That’s where GLaDOS comes in. She’s here to coach them through their 20s in the only way she could: manipulative tests and unparalleled snark. GLaDOS is the only life coach you ever need. Next one. Step aside, Siri. Shut up, Alexa. GLaDOS is taking assistance to the next level. More personality more snark more getting things done no matter what. GLaDOS the better personal assistant. I actually have four. So here’s my third one.

Chris Hanna  05:27

Such an overachiever.

Sam McKinney  05:29

I know. The education system is going to crap. We focus on book smarts and test scores, but ignore street smarts and critical thinking. Well, no more GLaDOS is here to give you problems to solve, then chide you until you solve it guaranteed to teach you how to survive the hardships of life with ease. Welcome to the GLaDOS School of critical testing. And then finally, the country is a complex structure filled with moral and political obstacles that even the most qualified people struggled to overcome. Let’s take morality and human error out of the equation, let’s run the country with pure scientific structure and the darkest of humor. Let’s elect GLaDOS for president.

John Fish  06:08

Of these ones, Sam, I actually I do like that fourth one. I think but I might be gravitating towards that. Because let’s face it, that would be a pretty, we would know exactly what we could do with it right off the bat. You know, I think like, with propaganda and political posters and, and stuff, 

Chris Hanna  06:29

I just want to know who’s in GLaDOS’ cabinet, that’s what I want to know.

John Fish  06:35

Yeah. And then again, and then also on this one, I do think the better personal assistant kind of goes along with my insight, where it’s basically it’s a more human assistant, right. It’s an assistant that’s able to talk to you on a, on a on a level it’s able to level with you. So I think that’s kind of fun.

Sam McKinney  06:54

Yeah, it’s able to talk to you makes makes it enjoyable can actually do things Rather than just tell you factual information from Google that it finds,

Chris Hanna  07:04

SO are you imagining that this would be like the same way that people have installed Amazon Alexa in their homes? They would install a GLaDOS in their homes? 

Sam McKinney  07:13

Yeah. Yeah, something like that. Maybe Maybe not. Like GLaDOS. Specifically, maybe GLaDOS is like a local area and then you have a connector to GLaDOS so she can speak to you. But either way, we can figure that out. If we go that directions

John Fish  07:28

GLaDOS turn on the lights. No, you do it. You fat ass.

Chris Hanna  07:37

I will say that something that I would kind of be interested in is having like a personality sphere in my home. Personality sphere, for those who don’t know, are basically these sort of like dampeners that are put on GLaDOS because she’s so incredibly super intelligent. They sort of slow her down but also have personalities of their own. And I for one would love a personality sphere that’s just Like wisecracking at me every single day. It would keep me on my toes? It would get my insults better spoiler alert. Yeah.

Sam McKinney  08:11

Yeah, that sounds like fun. Do you want to jump into yours, Chris?

Chris Hanna  08:16

Why not? Okay, so first one, everyone gets bored doing the same workouts over and over and over again. But GLaDOS can change that she’s able to devise unique simulations that are perfectly suited to her subject’s mental and physical abilities, which means that you’d always be challenged with something new every single time you go to work out with her. This is a godsend for people looking to get a solid, unique workout. But I was also thinking it could be ideal for those with young kids too, since GLaDOS, could tire them out while also helping to build their problem solving skills.  Okay, second one. I’m going to ask john this question: john, what do drag queens, Steve Jobs and GLaDOS all have in common? 

John Fish  08:59

Huh, I don’t know, what Chris?

Chris Hanna  09:04

They’re experts at insulting people. As we’ve seen in big elections and across Twitter quality insults can help you get attention, clout and even wealth. And of course, some well played shade never fails to put someone in their place. GLaDOS’ dry humor and super intelligent wit makes her the perfect product for those looking to master the art of the insult.  Third, but not least, this one was sort of inspired by our intro today. You know, these days it seems like just about everyone has a podcast or at least has an idea for one. And one of the hardest parts of starting one up is finding a fellow co host who always shows up ready to go. And I just want to say this is not of course an issue on our podcast. We’re all always ready to go. Anyway. GLaDOS is the perfect podcaster co host: she’s super intelligent, she learns quickly and always has a witty one liner ready to go.

Sam McKinney  09:54

Nice. What my overall feeling of this is first of all, Personal escape room trainer is it makes me think of like, taking life coaches to the whole new level, like not just your personality, but like training you like your your whole facade, your whole public image will maybe that’s a bigger idea too. We can mark that down. But like she trains you to do everything from make the right decisions, to learn how to make the decisions, to exercise, right to keep you in shape to be able to survive anything. Like that’s just hilarious, because it’s what everyone really needs. 

Chris Hanna  10:38

She could run simulations for any situation you might encounter in life.

GLaDOS  10:43

I don’t want to tell you your business. But if it were me, I’d leave that thing alone. Do you think I’m trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously now?

Chris Hanna  10:53

Yeah, a recurring theme that I’ve kind of noticed with a lot of our insights is that people like there’s two things that We really love about GLaDOS. And the first thing is just like her personality, the things that she says, the way that she goes about doing things. And then the second part is sort of this like program that she has or this, I guess, like directive that she has to always be like testing and pushing people, which I think are both really valuable things in a product that we’re going to sell the people. So to your earlier point, Sam, about the sort of like 360 life trainer, I think that’s kind of interesting. It’s super dystopian. It kind of reminds me of like, in Wall•E, how everything is just like ready for you and simulated. Like if you want to go and play golf. There’s a simulation to play golf.

Sam McKinney  11:48

But GLaDOS makes it so that you have to work for everything.

Chris Hanna  11:52

This is true, no floating hover chairs with GLaDOS.

Sam McKinney  11:55

So you get everything you ever need, but you have to work for it. So it’s worth more to you.

Chris Hanna  12:02

Maybe you’ll get some cake at the end.

John Fish  12:04

I’m definitely leaning most towards this idea that Chris kind of was just just encapsulating like the insult coach, slash the trainer slash and AI that just kind of has a little bit more of a attitude and talks to you like a person and not just like “okay master Yes.” Like this thing actually gets in your face and tells you what to do. But that being said, I don’t know if insult coach is necessarily the umbrella we would want to put all this under. How do we frame it in a way that sounds warm and fuzzy to people?

Sam McKinney  12:41

What if she’s a confidence coach, your she teaches you insults because it makes you more confident, she teaches you to make more the right decisions. So you’ll be confident in the choices you make. You’re more confident in your body because she trains you like all of these things like it’s about confidence, making you more accountable. Because you can handle anything that’s thrown at you.

Chris Hanna  13:03

Yeah, I do like the idea of competence. But I also think that there is something to selling this idea of like 360, like every aspect of your life that maybe you need improvement on, like, Glados is going to push you to get to those boundaries. So like, yeah, like, maybe you’re confident, but maybe you’re also like, really, like bad at making like rash decisions, like maybe you’re way too spontaneous. And she’ll test you to dial back that instinct. So it’s almost like whatever you need to work on, like, she’s gonna push you to do it.

Sam McKinney  13:38

Yeah. It’s like the school of hard knocks but GLaDOS style.

John Fish  13:42

I like that. It’s funny because like, I think, I don’t know, I just watched the Michael Jordan documentary. And it was kind of like, he would take a little slights that were said to him, and he would use that to inspire him to you know, go out on the court and drop 60 points. So that’s kind of what Glados will be it will be the slight you need to be Michael Jordan.

Chris Hanna  14:08

Become Michael Jordan with Glados.

John Fish  14:10

Yes, exactly. Push yourself 

Sam McKinney  14:13

Become the goat.

Chris Hanna  14:14

You know, I will say there’s something kind of interesting about this idea of like, whatever your weakness is GLaDOS is going to pummel you until she makes that like a strength area. And I think that there is something very unique about that offering to people.

Sam McKinney  14:30

Yeah. What is that, quote, we’re most receptive to change at our darkest times or whatever, something like that.

Chris Hanna  14:37

Yeah, I was thinking of like, the strongest chain is only as strong as its weakest link or something. 

Sam McKinney  14:44

That’s good too.

John Fish  14:45

become glad with GLaDOS.

Chris Hanna  14:52

Okay, so it kind of sounds like we’re going more towards this like life coach style, offering to people

Sam McKinney  15:00

360 life coach, 

John Fish  15:02

I think so I think we’re all kind of in that in that bucket.

Sam McKinney  15:06

Yeah, that’s it sounds like it.

GLaDOS  15:07

We are very, very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success.

Chris Hanna  15:16

Cool. So let’s maybe think a little bit more about how we’re going to like talk to people. Because as much as I love the idea of like, really flowery language to sell this product that’s going to, like insult you mercilessly. I do think that there is something to be said for like brutally honest Marketing, especially when it comes to improving your own life. 

Sam McKinney  15:39

If we’re doing the 360 the life coach thing or generally marketing GLaDOS, would she ever actually trust anyone else to do it? Wouldn’t she do it herself? 

Chris Hanna  15:49

Oh, you mean like would GLaDOS make her own advertisements? 

Sam McKinney  15:53

Yeah. Everything should be in her voice and her snark and her her own way. to kind of get you to understand what she means.

Chris Hanna  16:04

I’m just imagining that like, you’re listening on Spotify to like your breakup playlist, and then all of a sudden, the GLaDOS ad comes up and it’s like, “you silly, sad human. Why don’t you get up off the floor and stop eating Ben and Jerry’s?”

John Fish  16:18

Yeah, I think that’s that’s actually really funny. And I think radio is almost a go to medium for this. Do you guys think so too, then kind of just using that voice? 

Sam McKinney  16:30

I would say it would be, It would either be a radio or like a TV script with montages of things, that but radio would probably be the, Yeah, cuz if you’re in the car, you’re driving a lot, then you’re probably sitting there thinking, “What am I doing with my life? I’m wasting so much time” like you’re just that’s a lot of time to think so that’s when we interject puh, listening to podcasts like would be another thing. So yeah, like radio things because usually listen to that stuff just kind of zone out or Think.

Chris Hanna  17:01

Can we interrupt our own podcast for our GLaDOS radio spot?

John Fish  17:05

Maybe for the next, that’d be funny if that was for the next podcast just to remind people “Oh, and you can check out our ads online.”

Chris Hanna  17:12

And now to our sponsor, 

John Fish  17:14

“you people are so lazy.” I think it’s kind of funny to like playing off of like, not your typical AI in a way where it’s like, yeah, sure, Alexa can tell you to take your pills, but GLaDOS will tell you to take your pills or you’re gonna die. You know, kind of like that’s obviously very drastic.

Chris Hanna  17:31

Something GLaDOS say it would be like, “there is a 33.2% chance that your life will be premature if you do not take these omega three fatty acids.”

John Fish  17:41

right that’s oh my gosh, that’s such a better way of making someone like do something to

Chris Hanna  17:48

Yeah, like you would do it right.

John Fish  17:51

Oh, okay. I’m going to take this fish oil that site pillaging the ocean of fish but whatever. I don’t want to die. Oh my god, that’s Funny. 

Sam McKinney  18:00

I think it all kind of connects into that. So it’s all kind of within that realm.

John Fish  18:05

So, this being said, Spotify, I think is one of definitely one of the areas where we want to definitely have ads. So let’s think of kind of like, do you guys want to think of like, some things that people are doing when they’re listening to Spotify, that we can tell them? “Hey, you should be doing this,” or, “yeah, that podcast is really cool. But are you any more woke than you were 15 minutes ago?” I don’t know. You know, something like that, like, let’s do we want to think about some some things that we can tell people listening to podcasts do to better their lives.

Chris Hanna  18:42

JOHN is our resident Spotify expert, by the way. Yeah, I will be super down. that’ll probably be like, it’ll almost be like contextual Spotify like audio ads, but I think it could also even potentially be like YouTube, pre roll ads. You just have like an image of her just staring at you as she talks to you about, like, you know, “watching these bone appetit videos isn’t gonna make you a better chef. Get up and go start cooking.” 

Sam McKinney  19:12

I think visually it just be her eye. Her glowing eye. 

Chris Hanna  19:17

Just staring at you.

Sam McKinney  19:19

yeah, we don’t really do we have a tag?

Chris Hanna  19:24

Huh? Yeah, let’s think about that. So I don’t know I kind of like I love the idea of like taking like, your weakness is like somehow going to become your strength or like your weakness is the thing that she’s going to like manipulate into making you a better person.

John Fish  19:42

It’s almost like pushing your buttons to improve you, that’s like very long, but it’s something like that, you know, it’s like it just keeps hammering on these things or like little insecurities until you do something.

Chris Hanna  19:55

It’s like negative reinforcement has never been so effective.

John Fish  20:00

This is an abusive relationship, guys, this is what we’re advertising. 

Chris Hanna  20:04

Yeah, that like, You are the one who bought her and who continues to keep her on. I mean, we’re we’re assuming that she’s not going to prevent you from turning her off, which she totally would prevent you from turning her off.

John Fish  20:20

Right. 

Sam McKinney  20:20

She would definitely, yeah, as soon as you turn her on she’s never turning off you were screwed. You were stuck with that new life.

Chris Hanna  20:28

Maybe that’s what it should be. You’re stuck with your new life.

John Fish  20:32

Welcome to the new you. Glados. 

Sam McKinney  20:35

Maybe it’s fighting for a new you?

John Fish  20:37

This is, Yeah, I’m just I’m thinking honestly, in that kind of tone, because it kind of is totally going to be like, I’m like, we’re here to change the future. You know, that’s kind of like,

Chris Hanna  20:48

what it was like, test out a new you or something. 

John Fish  20:51

Oh, I do kind of like that. I don’t know if it would be testing though, because it’s basically like going to change you right? It would only Yeah, like, become 

Sam McKinney  21:01

You wouldn’t be able to 

John Fish  21:02

become your new you know,

Sam McKinney  21:06

reshape the new you. You’ll be new I promise.

Chris Hanna  21:10

I guarantee it.

John Fish  21:14

You’re gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it. That’s it guys! Let’s do it!.

Chris Hanna  21:20

Ah, Men’s wearhouse. 

Sam McKinney  21:24

Man, this is a tough one.

Chris Hanna  21:26

If there’s any way that we can come up with a line that almost sounds a little threatening. Like, you will like the new you trust me? Because that’s totally within like her wheelhouse. 

John Fish  21:37

Okay, I like that. That’s like, that’s pretty funny too. That’s funny. 

Chris Hanna  21:41

Mm hmm.

Sam McKinney  21:42

Yeah, I like, trust me.

John Fish  21:44

I like I like trust me if we could come up with like, if we use trust me, it will be like a line before that. And then it would be like, you’ll stop eating those potato chips. Trust me. I don’t know. I just don’t know if I have the Glados voice down perfectly. I think you guys are better at getting the Snark, so it’d be something like that.

Chris Hanna  22:06

I mean, I the one of the things that people love about GLaDOS is that she is always guaranteeing some sort of, like, reward at the end of your tests. A lot of the times it’s cake that may or may not exist. Sometimes it’s like, I think there’s one scene where the main players like trying to solve a testing chamber, and GLaDOS tells her that if she solves it, she’ll like call her birth parents. And so GLaDOS like, calls the parents and has an automated voice that says, “the birth parents who are trying to reach do not love you,” and then there’s just a dial tone. So she’s, uh, yeah, she she would definitely be down with like, vaguely telling you about the things that you will achieve, even if you are not going to get those things.

John Fish  23:01

That’s a little beyond snarky. That’s

Chris Hanna  23:06

Yeah, she, she’s awful. I mean, let’s not, let’s not gloss over this, like she’s an evil supercomputer that wants to wipe you out. But she’s also going to help you to become a better version of yourself before that happens.

Sam McKinney  23:20

Yeah. What if, Since she’s pretty cocky and confident that she can do whatever so. And she hates humans, so there’s always something wrong with you, no matter how perfect you are. There’s always something wrong. So maybe the tagline is, I’ll fix you, I promise. Or something snarky than that, but like with the idea of I’m going to fix you.

Chris Hanna  23:43

Um, yeah.

Sam McKinney  23:44

Because then people who like “hey, you don’t I don’t need to be fixed. What are you talking about?” Like? They’re, they’re doubting themselves.

Chris Hanna  23:52

Yeah, like, I kind of like this idea of like, you’ll be better. Trust me.

Sam McKinney  23:58

Yeah. 

John Fish  23:59

And we could show pictures of people that are just like, I don’t know, this might not this might not fly, but it’d be like really like morbidly obese people. And it will and then we’ll just have like, you can get better Trust me. I don’t, ya know. 

Sam McKinney  24:14

I think humor is more like average people, or like really in shape people who look like they’d be perfect. And it’s more like it’s okay. perfections not easy. I’ll fix you.

John Fish  24:32

That’s good. I like that because, okay, that’s kind of that’s kind of funny. Let’s see, say,

Chris Hanna  24:41

flaws are fixable. Trust me.

Sam McKinney  24:44

What if it’s perfections not easy. Trust me or something like that.

Chris Hanna  24:49

 I, I almost kind of like the idea of like, perfection won’t be easy trust. I mean, yeah, I do kind of like perfections not easy, Trust me, because she is in her mind in infallible being.

Sam McKinney  25:04

Yeah. Does that speak to? I guess that depends on the voice on what that radio message would be.

Chris Hanna  25:14

So something in my head that I’ve been thinking about is like, the way that GLaDOS tends to, like speak to people is usually by first cutting them down in order to like, make her point. So maybe the thing that she’s doing to people is that she starts whatever ad by just straight up being like, you know, you like pathetic, flawed, awful human. You’re doing all these awful things, but you can be corrected. And then she says, like, “with enough training, maybe I can get you to get down to like four pints of Ben and Jerry’s in like a week. perfections not easy, trust me.”

John Fish  25:54

I think that’s where the contextual comes in here, right? Like what we were talking about earlier with like the contextual pre roll for YouTube. It’d be maybe it maybe maybe instead of like that cooking magazine you were talking about Chris maybe like, like a chocolate cake. Totally. You know, something that like, oh, someone’s watching that and they’re definitely like, probably not eating healthy. And then GLaDOS will come in and just be like, cue snarky evil tone.

Chris Hanna  26:27

I did watch a chocolate cake cooking video, by the way, very recently. I mean, that would get my attention. If I was like watching a video, My mouth is watering because Claire Saffitz is cooking something incredible. And then all of a sudden, there’s this glowing yellow eye on my screen. Telling me that I’m a fat ass, but that I can be redeemed. I would pay attention to that.

John Fish  26:55

Or it could be before like self help videos to right?

Sam McKinney  26:59

I like the word redeemed, too. 

John Fish  27:00

Redeemed?

Chris Hanna  27:01

it’s, it would be kind of funny. I know this is completely off topic from what we’ve been doing so far. But it would be kind of funny if GLaDOS hosted like a self help seminar, and she just goes down the row and just breaks every single person.

John Fish  27:16

Tony Robbins-style 

Sam McKinney  27:17

That would be funny for an extension. Because GLaDOS was a woman. Is there some sort of women do it better kind of angle? I don’t know. That might be. I mean, obviously, that’s not really,

John Fish  27:28

US woke man, we know that women do it better. It’d be convincing everyone else.

Sam McKinney  27:37

We were kind of leaning towards the perfect is an easy kind of thing. But in her mind, perfection for a human is not possible.

Chris Hanna  27:45

I think that actually ties more into the tagline “perfection is not easy, trust me,” because it’s, it’s like snidely saying like you are not going to achieve this and because it’s literally possible, trust me, I know. 

Sam McKinney  28:02

Yeah. Okay,

John Fish  28:04

so I’m still liking that. But I like what you’re saying, Sam, And what if it’s kind of like GLaDOS Does it better?

Chris Hanna  28:13

Glados Does it better. You’ll do it fine.

John Fish  28:16

Yeah. Well, it’s hitting on the fact that it’s the best AI, right? It’s gonna help you actually help you. And it will help you get fit, kind of like will help you get better I don’t know if It gets all those kind of messages, we’d have to figure out a way to get all that in. But that’s kind of an interesting way to look at it. Potentially. 

Sam McKinney  28:36

if we do that, it would be “I do it better GLaDOS.” 

John Fish  28:40

because she is just that okay, the narcissist the narcissism there plays out.

Chris Hanna  28:46

What if it was: “You’ll do it better. I do it best. Glados.”

Sam McKinney  28:53

That’s funny, too.

Chris Hanna  28:54

Do you guys want to talk about like placements? And maybe that’ll help inform the tagline?

Sam McKinney  28:58

Yeah, maybe we should do lines for stuff, and we’ll figure out what we end up with. So, situations that we’d be listening to, like on Spotify, so we have options for like, love songs, breakup songs, angry stuff, like Angry playlists, coffee shop playlists.

Chris Hanna  29:24

I mean, in my head, it’s, I think, john hit it on the head earlier, when you’re at your lowest like, that’s when you would be most susceptible to this crazy AI, making your life better. So I think we should focus on those moments.

John Fish  29:42

What if we like, what if it was on YouTube or Spotify and we basically like had you know how at the end of the week your iPhone tells you how many hours you spent on social media or on just on your phone, right? 

Chris Hanna  30:00

You know, screen time, 

John Fish  30:01

what if it was something like that, like, “Oh, you just spent six hours listening to or watching YouTube videos. Think of what you could do with your time.” And then it would have the tagline. So it’s kind of like, because I feel like you feel low, especially if someone’s calling you out for wasting time. And it sounds like GLaDOS is the type of like AI that would kind of do that, you know, like a total like, oh, you’re a piece of shit.

Chris Hanna  30:29

That’s actually a pretty good observation.

John Fish  30:32

followed with like, oh, but it’s okay, we can help.

Chris Hanna  30:35

And I can prove it mathematically.

John Fish  30:38

Yeah, exactly.

Chris Hanna  30:40

No, but I love that like, I was submitting like percentages of all of the crappy, sad things that you’re doing. And then something about like, “we can improve that by point something percent. If you got off your button did something” that’d be really good. If we could find And 100% in the tagline.

Sam McKinney  31:03

Yeah, though, I think the way that it would happen though, would be like, “great job spending three hours on YouTube. It’s not like we needed dinner or anything.” Or “it’s not like we needed you to do something.”

Chris Hanna  31:18

Yeah, for sure 

Sam McKinney  31:19

Because that’s the kind of snark

John Fish  31:21

Glados, 100% real. Like, cuz it’s real with you. It gets away from the voice of Glados I know But  what if it’s 100% honest, sometimes?

Chris Hanna  31:34

Hundred percent brutally honest.

John Fish  31:38

I do like I do like keeping it real though. Like almost kind of, because it is kind of like it’s telling it like it is. You know, it’s not sugarcoating it.

Chris Hanna  31:51

Yeah. Something else that I’ve been thinking about is how, with a lot of these like life coaching programs, or just self help in general, like the human And touch is something that is talked about a lot, and GLaDOS has literally none of that. So I kind of like the idea of contrasting this idea of like, hundred percent efficient zero percent human touch or something like that. 

Sam McKinney  32:15

Yeah, that feels very mechanical though. Is there a better way to say that? I think.

Chris Hanna  32:20

I mean, I like the percentages because of what john brought up. If you’re like, doing these contextual ads that tell people how much time they’ve wasted or what percentage of their day they’ve spent, like, looking at pictures of their ex on Facebook, there is something to be said for following it up with a tagline that has like a stat in it of some sort.

John Fish  32:43

Right? Or it could be like we noticed, this is your fourth time visiting Pornhub today. Think of what you could be doing with your time or you know, like, it could be like on that those type of websites, it could be on YouTube and your total Like at your low, I don’t know, I just think being called out. And then the fact that it’s artificial intelligence is kind of funny. Like, oh, it knows what I’m doing.

Chris Hanna  33:13

So it kind of sounds like we’ve got two different directions sort of going on, we’ve got this one idea where we’re doing some sort of notification or some sort of messaging of statistics of what people are doing that, like time that could be better spent. And we’ve also got this more like audio approach.

Sam McKinney  33:34

I think the audio is probably this the statistics like, I don’t know, I guess it works. Just feels a little different, for some reason for me, but I could be wrong. 

Chris Hanna  33:47

I mean, they are different. And there’s no problem with kind of pursuing both, but we should start thinking about like, the kinds of things that she’s going to say in like the audio ones For example. let’s say You’re on your breakup playlist, right? And you’re sad, you’re mopey, you got your tissues, your emo mascara is running down your face or whatever. And then all of a sudden, Glados comes on, what kinds of things she can say, to first cut you down a little bit, when you’re at your low, and then encourage you to get this product.

Sam McKinney  34:26

So what I would say is something along the lines of for the breakup playlist is there are 3.9 billion people or billion other fish in the sea. I’m sure we can make one of them like you.

Chris Hanna  34:42

I like that. I mean, hey, like, Why just restrict it to that half of the population? There’s, you know, 

Sam McKinney  34:49

oh, yeah, there’s 7.8 billion fish in the sea.

Chris Hanna  34:52

 Yeah, 

Sam McKinney  34:53

we can. Yeah, that might be that’d be better. It’s more inclusive as well.

Chris Hanna  34:57

Because that’s what we’re all about.  Yeah, Sam, geez  I like that. 

John Fish  35:02

That’s pretty good. That’s her voice.

Chris Hanna  35:04

Honestly, that could just be like a six second placement. There are 7.8 billion other fish in the sea. Let’s see if we can get one of them to like you. Perfection’s not easy. Trust me.

Sam McKinney  35:16

Yeah. Here’s another line that has kind of slowly developing so you guys can probably fix it. So, if it’s in the middle of a playlist of a breakup playlist, and it’s a “insert ex’s name here is better off without you. Let’s fix that. Perfection.”

Chris Hanna  35:36

So you’re gonna get revenge on your ex with Glados.

Sam McKinney  35:40

Yeah. swell up, swole up. That that feels more GLaDOS like that feels more in the tone with that tagline, I think. um, because it’s really just like, this person’s better off without you. So let’s fix that. And then it’s perfection isn’t easy. 

Chris Hanna  36:03

I think you should say this person thinks they’re better off without you. 

Sam McKinney  36:07

But that wouldn’t be glad I was glad this is like, this person is better off without you because you’re a fucking piece of shit. Let’s fix you. That’s the voice that it needs to be.

Chris Hanna  36:17

Oh, I thought you said let’s fix that. That’s why I thought it was revenge.

Sam McKinney  36:24

Well, yeah. No, it was let’s fix you. Let’s fix that, like, fix you, I guess. 

John Fish  36:32

You like where we’re headed with that. I think before a cake video is maybe a pretty obvious place to have an ad then. 

Chris Hanna  36:40

Um, I mean, I don’t think it is out of the running because I think that, like food videos is definitely a place where people probably waste a lot of time. 

Sam McKinney  36:52

Maybe it’s more general, because people, everyone feels the same sort of shit every once in a while. And if we Hit them in the right spot at the right time, then they’re always going to be interested or intrigued. Maybe it’s like a workout kind of one of them’s a workout because everyone tries to work out and like, but they feel down on themselves. That could be a cake line.

Chris Hanna  37:20

You’re going to eat cake after this, aren’t you? Yeah, I kind of like that. Let’s think about that workout thing. I feel like Glados would lay something really heavy about like, doing cardio only, and how you need to like start doing like other things. So it would be something like “if you feel like you aren’t going anywhere on the stationary bike, it’s because you’re not” or something like that.

John Fish  37:50

Yeah, I thought that was funny. They had enough snark.

Sam McKinney  37:54

I think that Yeah, I agree. I think that’s a good, good line. Let’s come up with one more line. One more situation will kind of come up with a tag that kind of ties everything together. 

Chris Hanna  38:03

What about when you like don’t know how to do something, and you’re looking up online, like wiki how or something like that? 

Sam McKinney  38:11

Yeah. 

Chris Hanna  38:12

Like imagine like, you’re looking on YouTube to find a video of like how to sew your pants or something. And halfway through GLaDOS just slams you for not knowing how to sew.

Sam McKinney  38:22

I think it would be more at the end. And it’s “Congratulations, you now know how to sew. It still won’t fix the hole in your life.”

Chris Hanna  38:34

You won’t be able to sew up the whole life. That’s funny.

John Fish  38:41

I like I like that line actually a lot. That’s really that’s pretty funny. It kind of it does follow the formula that you’ve that we’ve created. I think for the other two lines. Yeah, it’s like backhanded comments.

Sam McKinney  38:53

Yeah. So if you put it in front, it’s like, “good. You’re going to learn how to sew. It still won’t sew sew shut the hole in your life or something like that. The Void you’re trying to fill.” You could probably say it better than that.

Chris Hanna  39:08

No, I like hole because you’re going to a sewing video to learn how to fix a tear hole. 

Sam McKinney  39:14

Yeah. won’t fix the hole in your life. Yeah, fix the whole your life

Chris Hanna  39:22

could we? Okay, so maybe this is a bad idea. Could we pitch these ads as being hyper specific to people? Like Could it be like “congratulations on learning how to sew Too bad it won’t fix the hole in your life left by Jeffrey.”

Sam McKinney  39:40

That feels a little too much I think  What’s the what’s the tag we have on that first one. The radio?

Chris Hanna  39:48

“perfections not easy. Trust me.”

John Fish  39:52

That just sounds – I like it but I just can’t – do you guys feel like it sounds a little long? I think I think the best part of the line is – I don’t know you guys might not agree – I think the best part is the “trust me” part, because especially with our hindsight of knowing what GLaDOS does, it’s kind of funny having her ask you to trust you – trust her, right?

Sam McKinney  40:12

 Yeah, maybe it is. Just “trust me.”

Chris Hanna  40:14

Yeah, let’s give that a shot. 

John Fish  40:15

But then so at the end of that first line, it’s like, your insert exes name here is better without you. Let’s let’s fix that. Trust me. 

Sam McKinney  40:24

Maybe it’s you can fix. You can fix that. Like, insert name here is better off without you. You can fix that. Trust me.

Chris Hanna  40:33

Yeah, that works. 

John Fish  40:34

I’m sorry. I think I think the tag might be like, you can change that. Trust me, 

Chris Hanna  40:38

Because I feel like an AI would probably say fix. It’s kind of talking. It’s kind of tapping into that imperfection thing that we were talking about earlier.

40:47

Yeah. Fix works- Fix works then, too, you for all those. 

Chris Hanna  40:50

Okay, cool. 

John Fish  40:51

This is hard. This one’s hard. 

Sam McKinney  40:52

Yeah.

Chris Hanna  40:53

Yeah, it’s not easy doing a super intelligent, evil AI, who’s gonna force you to Improve your life.

John Fish  41:01

I think you guys were able to get the voice down pretty pretty well, just from the quotes that I was reading today. And it’s pretty funny. 

Chris Hanna  41:10

yea… so is there anything else that we need to figure out right now?

Sam McKinney  41:14

I don’t think so.

Chris Hanna  41:16

Yeah, so let me let me go through all of it. So our insight is that GLaDOS is the best way to fix any aspect of your life, which is why we’re going with the tagline, we can fix that, trust me. For our execution. We’ve decided to go with contextual ad placements that are going to be spoken in GLaDOS’s voice. And so our first one is going to be on a playlist that you would probably go to after you’ve had a breakup, and the line will say, insert ex’s name thinks they’re better off without you. We can fix that, trust me. The next one is going to be on a workout playlist and it’s going to say if you feel like you aren’t going anywhere on that treadmill, it’s because you’re not we can fix that. Trust me. And last but not least we’re going to put our final placement on a how to video. We thought a sewing video would be funny and so we have congratulations on learning how to sew. Too bad it won’t mend the hole in your life. We can fix that. Trust me GLaDOS 

Sam McKinney  42:16

Awesome. 

Chris Hanna  42:18

All right, well done boys. Another one in the bag.

John Fish  42:22

Awesome! are we excited?

Chris Hanna  42:29

Alrighty, Well that is gonna be it for Episode Two. If you liked what you heard, please leave us a five star review we are on I think every single podcast platform. If you didn’t like it still leave us a review. We’re always looking for ways to improve what we’re doing here. Be sure to follow us on Instagram we are at add tempted ADTEMPTED I don’t have autocorrect in front of me, but I’m pretty sure that’s it. Sam says that’s it. So we’re going with it. Thank you all so much for listening. We had A bunch of fun. JOHN, any final words you want to leave our listeners with? 

John Fish  43:05

Be safe out there everyone.

Chris Hanna  43:07

Yeah, be safe. Be safe. All right, and Sam, I’m gonna leave you to go back to your AI robot voice so do what you want to do, man.

Sam McKinney  43:18

Let’s eat cake.

Chris Hanna  43:19

Yaaay, cake!

GLaDOS  43:20

This was a triumph. I’m making a note here. huge success. It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

The post ADtempt 002 – GLaDOS appeared first on ADtempted.

In their pilot episode, Chris, John, Sam and special guest Rob come up with a Death Star ad campaign targeting the most misunderstood demographic of them all: dictators.

ADTEMPTED – ADTEMPT#001 44:58

Chris  00:00

Rob, what do you want more than anything else? 

Rob  00:03

I want my children to respect me for once. 

Chris  00:06

Then I think you’re gonna like today’s product so it can travel at lightspeed. It’s got enough room for your family, and it’ll demand respect from your enemies and your children. How does that sound? 

Rob  00:17

Sounds a little too good to be true. 

Chris  00:20

Oh, it absolutely is. And we are going to make some ads for it. 

Rob  00:24

I’ve got a GOOD feeling about this.

Sam  00:29

Welcome to Adtempted where we make ads for things that don’t actually need them. I’m Sam, I make art.

Chris  00:34

I’m Chris. I make words. 

John  00:36

I’m John and I write things. 

Sam  00:38

And our special guest today is Rob. 

Rob  00:40

Hi, Rob Chester Smith. I’m an actor and writer here in LA currently sheltering in place and loving it. 

Chris  00:47

Well, we are glad to have you on Rob. So let me break this down. We are going to start by sharing some insights, then we’re going to pick a direction and ultimately we’re going to come up with a single execution that we will present to you our audience.

John  01:00

Alright, let’s jump into it. Here’s the brief. Today’s product is the Death Star, the iconic planet destroying Doomsday weapon from Star Wars, it’s large and in charge, destructive. And if you don’t know any better, you think it was just a nearby moon, almost completely indestructible. It can move at lightspeed from planet to planet and has all the resources to conquer an entire galaxy. The target for this demo will be people in power dictators, emperors, presidents, despots, you name it, we’ve got it.

Luke Skywalker  01:34

Heading for that small moon. That’s no moon.

Obi Wan  01:38

It’s a space station. 

Han Solo  01:39

It’s too big to be a space station.

Sam  01:43

Full disclaimer, we’re doing this for fun. We don’t actually like dictators, or evil people, but let’s get into it. First up. Special guests Rob 

Rob  01:52

Okay, here’s the problem I found when I really dug deep did a deep dive on the Death Star is for a lot of deathsots War sucks. it drags… they drag on forever. There’s expensive. They’re politically unpopular. The populace doesn’t like them. You know, it’s they go on and on and on. They cost there’s arguments in Congress all this stuff. Well, guess what? Now we have a Death Star. Now instead of fighting with their enemy for years at a time, boom, it’s done. Nope. war over no fuss, no muss. There’s no more enemies to cry “Oh, war crimes!” there’s no enemy at all. They’re gone. That’s what makes the Deathstar so great and so popular to a despot.  Another insight is, in this age of inclusivity we’ve overlooked something so many horrible weapons of mass destruction are phallic in nature. Think of every cannon every laser cannon every missile it’s just a bunch of penises. For boys, let’s be honest, to wave around and have penis measuring contest with their foes. Well guess what? The Deathstar is spherical. So instead of a phallic symbol, it’s an ovum. It’s ovic? ovum, uh.. symbol? it’s an egg — finally a weapon for the lady despot. We’re no longer – we’re no longer excluding half of the people in the universe. We’ve got sort of the inclusivity angle.  I personally like this one, you know how many… how many people buy a weapon? You know, here on Earth, we have nuclear bombs that nobody ever gets to fire and then they just sit there and are useless for anything else except maybe a paperweight. The Deathstar not the case. Let’s say it’s wartime. I use my Deathstar to destroy Alderaan and several other planets. Well, now the war is over. Guess what? I’m not gonna mothball this thing. I’ve now got a valuable revenue source. Think about it. bachelor party, you know party barge rentals. bachelorette party, it can be a bed and breakfast for billions. You know the the sort of offseason uses for this thing are off the charts so it really in this in this way it sort of pays for itself you know 

Sam  03:31

[laughs] That’s very true – good insight.

Rob  04:26

Yeah. With the sharing economy… with the sharing economy right now it’s this is a really easy way to turn your Deathstar your deadly weapon into a nice revenue source. 

Sam  04:39

Deathstar now on uh, what is it? 

Chris  04:42

Airbnb?  

Sam  04:43

Airbnb

John  04:45

Of these insights I really like the second one, because I think this is the perfect product to really take a stand for something that’s bigger than itself. you know?

Sam  05:01

Let’s face it, we’re never going to have a female president, at least not anytime soon. Let’s give them the chance to take that. 

Rob  05:07

Well, I want to…

Chris  05:09

by deadly force? [laugh]

Rob  05:11

I don’t know if you guys in the news currently as we’re recording this, there are a lot of rumors of the death of Kim Jong Un and what I read is that next in line would be his sister. SO, you have a twin sister. So it met it’s the first lady despot that I personally can think of. I don’t know any other totalitarian regimes that were headed up by ladies so it’s kind of a fun you know, the future is wide open. 

Sam  05:39

its cutting edge

Chris  05:41

I don’t know what a death spot is. What What is a death spot? 

John  05:46

Another word for like a tyrant.

Chris  05:49

I did not know that.

Rob  05:52

d e s p ot a death spot is a spot where deaths occur.

Chris  05:57

Gotcha.

Rob  06:02

But this is so this is finally a saber rattling weapon for the lady totalitarian regime.

Sam  06:10

I like it. 

John  06:11

I love that. That’s hilarious. 

Sam  06:13

That is the best one so far

Rob  06:18

As a father though, and a guy who’s trying to trying to make his mortgage every month, I’m really turned on by the idea of this thing becoming a revenue source and paying for itself. I would not I like the idea of the Deathstar party barge you’d take bachelor parties out and they get to like, zap asteroids and stuff with with the cannon. You know what I mean? 

John  06:43

Yeah, I hear you but I think that could be something that we tie in with the non phallic-ness of it.

Sam  06:53

That’s a stretch. It’s a little bit of a stretch. All right, let’s move on. 

Rob  07:02

Yes. 

Sam  07:02

And then we can come back and… 

John  07:04

All right, Chris, I think you’re up Chris. 

Chris  07:06

I’m up next? Okay. So here’s what I got for you. Um, you know, the Deathstar is a world unto itself, which I think is something that’s really overlooked in the movies. You can fill it with whatever things you want, you can fill it with whatever people you want. And no one outside of it can tell you what to do, or even like, make you leave. It’s literally a dictators dream, because it’s your own world that you get to create.  So my next one, okay, I’m going to drop some truth on you guys. Humans are going to wreck the planet. And we probably are not going to have a whole lot of you know, tech when that happens to get human civilization off of our planet when that happens. And so that’s why I think the Death Star is going to be a space arc for humanity and you as the dictator get to decide what is going to survive what is going to die.

Rob  08:00

mhmm.

Chris  08:00

Are you going to take you know certain pieces of humanity or history with you, you get to decide you get to be Noah. And then my last one Earth is a shitty place it’s filled with lots of lame people and they are doing a lot of lame things. And there are probably better things beyond our solar system that are just waiting to be conquered. I, you know, like there’s such like a high chance that there is intelligent life in this universe. The Death Star is like the best way to go out explore it and conquer it.

Rob  08:36

I definitely am sparking off that last one if I’m a despot, I am a narcissist. My soul as a black hole of validation requiring – I need more and more and more and more. A despot takes over earth or whatever planet they’re on. you need… 

Chris  08:53

It’s boring. 

Rob  08:54

Yeah, eventually you have to keep feeding the hole. What better way to do that and then in your own floating death machine that no one can oppose?

Sam  09:06

Yeah. 

John  09:07

Mm hmm. 

Sam  09:08

Valid. Very good. 

Chris  09:10

All right, John, let’s see what you got.

John  09:14

Alright, so looking into this, I thought of the idea of the Death Star as an organizational tool for these despots around the world. So organize your life and the galaxy. We all know how clutter can affect the life or despot. That can cause anxiety, deppression and the sense that you are not able to control the masses on your own life, well fear no more. Now you can get rid of the planets that as Marie Kondo would say, Don’t spark joy, and take back control of your destiny by eliminating the chaos.

Rob  09:50

Ah, Yes. 

Chris  09:52

Can I just say that when you started reading that my mind immediately went to like a Viagra style ad of like, do you suffer from the following? Try… Ask your doctor about the Deathstar. 

John  10:06

Oh, it can really put these despots and tyrants into a better mental state, which would in turn, you know, create a better planet and Earth. 

Rob  10:17

I say, John, I think that clutter and clearing you’re taking back control of your life and making it the way – making it the galaxy that you want to live in. 

Chris  10:28

Mm hmm. 

Rob  10:29

Instead of having dictated to you I mean, the clutter thing with Marie Kondo very hot right now. Personally, I’ve been affected by it. Because of her. I have to fold my T shirts neatly in my T shirt drawer. It’s uh, it’s really it hasn’t sparked joy yet. I guess I shouldn’t bring this up. I’m getting off. off topic here. Love this idea. 

Chris  10:53

I was gonna say one thing that I was also thinking about while you were talking was like, you can probably find a way to like organize entire, like solar systems and constellations if you really wanted to, 

Rob  11:04

right 

Chris  11:05

like you could you theoretically you could like Star write in the sky by destroying everything within certain view so that you can create letters and messages by the blackness left behind by your destruction. 

Sam  11:21

destroy everything to write a message. Wonderful. 

Chris  11:25

How romantic would that be though? 

Rob  11:27

Hey Mother’s Day is coming up! 

Chris  11:29

oh God, I would love to see what my mom would do with the Death Star. Okay. 

John  11:34

All right, I got one more. One more insight. And it’s a rebranding this. These are always part of the pitch, but I thought we could pitch it. Let’s call this the life star. We’ve all heard of the circle of life, the Death Star speeds up that circle. Because with death comes new life. The Death Star is actually a life star. Controlling populations to insert… ensure we can all thrive

Rob  12:00

Oh, very Thanos. Very Thanos of you. 

John  12:04

exactly an allegory. I would say Thanos is an allegory for eugenics, all that bad stuff. So let’s just rebrand it. Let’s make it something good. 

Chris  12:16

So are we also saying that like, Hey, we know that you’re a totalitarian dictator, but we know that you’re going to do the right thing. And control populations. 

John  12:28

well don’t totalitarians think they’re doing the right thing?

Chris  12:31

ooooo…

John  12:31

don’t they think They’re doing the right thing, because I think we’re advertising to them. 

Rob  12:36

Hey, we’re not here to judge. We are not here to judge.

Sam  12:41

Unfortunately, 

Rob  12:43

this is not the fake news media. Okay? 

John  12:46

We’re here to sell a product Chris. We got it. We got to move that product.

Chris  12:52

Okay, let’s let’s control some populations. 

Sam  12:56

It’s important. 

John  12:57

All right. I think Sam’s up next.

Chris  13:00

Round us out. 

Sam  13:00

So I have some, I have some quick insights. The first one is it allows you to become an instant global superpower, you’ll have 20 years of non stop jobs, plus the jobs that come afterwards.

Rob  13:13

[laughter]

Sam  13:14

You automatically fix the housing crisis because you have 2 billion homes that need to be filled and you’ll have the – the best political power and military power in the world so basically, you’re gonna jump right up to be the best country… planet… in the world in the universe. Actually, now I think about it.  My next one is it’s an eco alternative to Earth. It’s clean powered, can take it anywhere. And everything you need is in one place, all powered by a kyber crystal so no pollution, nothing you can just destroy anything you want – 

Rob  13:46

Oh that’s right.

Sam  13:47

… stop all that stuff. Keep everything healthy. Live that minimalist lifestyle with pure power.  And the last one, you’ll have the most friends in the galaxy. Everyone will like you because they’ll be too afraid not to, you could just kill them. Why wouldn’t they like you? 

Chris  14:04

Oh, yeah, I like that last one. I will say that like, I think something that dictators maybe sometimes lack depending on their power is like, friends and people liking you. 

Sam  14:18

Yeah. 

Chris  14:19

Especially having like friends from different backgrounds. Mm hmm. 

John  14:23

I think that last one hits the nail on the head of the fact that these dictators are all narcissists, you know, and one thing that narcissists want, people will like them. So if we tell them, “hey, this can give you the most friends.” I’m pretty sure. Case in point Trump, would be like, hell yeah. Sign me up. I need some of that… 

Chris  14:46

death stars will be flying off the shelves, 

John  14:48

right? 

Sam  14:48

Yeah.

John  14:50

That’s a good point.

Sam  14:52

Yeah, we all need friends. No matter how we make them. 

Leia  14:55

Your friend is quite a mercenary. Wonder if he really cares about anything. or anybody. 

Chris  15:01

So I absolutely love and laughed at the ovum idea from Rob. I think it’s really funny, especially because it would be unexpected to talk to a more female audience for the Deathstar. And I also think that there’s something interesting that can be done with a combination of the Noah’s Ark idea, the lifestar rebranding, and the Eco alternative. And you know what, I’m a little biased. I do kind of like my galaxy’s best space exploration device idea, you know, go beyond Earth, see what else is out there? What What say ye fellow podcasters

Rob  15:39

on the subject of bias, I love the idea of of making this like a third love campaign. For those of you not familiar, third Love is a very much. It’s very it’s a bra brand, but it is very much like women’s like favorite bra. It’s like it’s the bra for people who actually respect and love women and I don’t know I love the idea like Hey guy- Hey ladies, like war has been in the hands of these stupid men for too long. Let’s do it right with the Deathstar. The world’s first non-phallic, like, WMD. 

Sam  16:20

I like that one. I like that idea a lot. That’s one of the ones my top ones. 

Rob  16:25

But, uh, however, I also think it’s important to consider the mindset of the totalitarian regime and that is narcissism. This is someone who is ruled by their own ego. And if that’s the case, then which of these really speaks to that? To me, that’s the galaxy’s best space exploration device. 

Chris  16:51

Well, thank you, Rob. 

Rob  16:53

yeah

Sam  16:54

if I can jump in real quick. 

Chris  16:56

No… [Laughter] Go ahead.

Sam  17:00

I Have something that speaks to that, in a way, it’s kind of a combination of the best exploration device and organize your life and galaxy. All right, hear me out. It’s Make the galaxy your own.

Chris  17:16

Ooooo

Sam  17:17

The Galaxy is what you make it. So basically giving you the power to make it exactly as you are or as you want it literally. You can explore it. You can change it, you can take control of it. It’s your galaxy. 

Rob  17:33

It’s your Galaxy.

Sam  17:34

Yes.

Chris  17:35

We may have just found our tagline 

Rob  17:37

It’s your Gallaxy that is that it’s your galaxy. That’s what the kids love these days. They want to make it their own 

Chris  17:43

customization personalization. 

Rob  17:46

What – I mean come on, you can craft your own galaxy.

John  17:51

I like that a lot. 

Chris  17:53

Damn. Okay, john. Let’s what’s what’s going through your brain?

John  17:59

initially, I Love robs us market this as a WMD for women 

Chris  18:06

women MD 

John  18:06

because it plays so well in the #Metoo movement

Rob  18:11

we put the WM in woman and WMD

John  18:18

but upon further reflection I’m kind of leaning more now towards this make the galaxy yours and that would be the combination of having the most friends organize your life and best base exploration device, kind of, you know, just because it’s all about you know, it really is targeted to this audience 

Rob  18:41

it’s perfect it’s it’s it’s “Hey, hey narcissistic freak show like it’s all about you. Make the galaxy your own. Make it your galaxy.” Oh, its perfect!

Chris  18:55

I’m trying to think of like, Is there like a line somewhere there about like having things revolve around you or orbit around you. 

Rob  19:02

That’s a, your, Yes. absolutly.

Sam  19:05

It does have its own gravitational field. 

Chris  19:08

Ooo. Okay, so it sounds like we’re kind of down for it’s, it’s your galaxy.

Rob  19:15

[Laughter] It reminds me of blaze pizza. Because we went there recently. It’s like because the whole lure the kids love blaze pizza because they get to be in charge of their own little pizza. And it’s just that concept exploded to the size of a galaxy. 

Starwars Character  19:33

The final checkout is completed. All systems are operational. What course shall we set? 

Admiral Tarkin  19:39

I think it is time to demonstrate that the full power of this station Set your course for Alderaan. [Dramatic music]

Sam  19:46

Sounds like we’ve made our decision. Let’s figure out how we can take make the galaxy yours a little bit further. 

Chris  19:52

So what are we thinking is like the best way to talk to these dictators. These people who want everything And probably aren’t reading print magazines. I don’t know. 

Rob  20:06

Here’s what I’ll say about I keep saying that we’re Narcissistic Personality complex, the world revolves around them and they also feel like no one understands how hard it is to be them because not only are they the best but they’re also have the hardest problems. In Alcoholics Anonymous they say like, I’m the piece of shit the world revolves around. I think when you’re speaking to a totalita– a dictator, you need to come to them with like, You’re totally right. You have so much on your shoulders, and nobody understands. Those people in the press. They don’t understand. They need to be coddled you know what I mean? They need to be spoken to as like we get it, It’s hard. 

John  20:48

i know, I almost want to see this as like a DR. Type campaign where it’s like “have protester been really tampering your mood lately?. Have your executions of world leader — have your has your executions of peacekeepers been in the media? Oh, have we got the solution for you? Like call one 800 554 death now for your own Death Star.

Chris  21:19

 So so far what I have is like the idea is like simply expressed like it’s your Galaxy make the galaxy that you want and that you want to see. And there’s some sort of line about like the galaxy revolves around you or something. 

Rob  21:34

That’s the one, I really like that. I also I’m realizing that like, because I’m really turned on by this one of two tags, it’s your galaxy, or make the galaxy your own. And what we’re appealing to is the sensitive artistic side of the of the dictator. 

Chris  21:54

A lot of dictators do see themselves as like very, like misunderstood artists.

Sam  22:00

Yeah.

Chris  22:00

 Okay, so in terms of like, media, I know that john talked about, like direct response mailer, I kind of liked the idea of like a dictator watching, like Sky News or some sort of like international news programming. And immediately after, it’s like, bagging on them, like, ooh, like Kim Jong Un’s missiles that didnt go somewhere, cuts to commercial. And then it’s like, you know what, like, we hear you, we know that things are hard, and that everyone’s kind of cramping on your style. Make your own style. So I kind of think that, like something about like, news placement might be a good idea, because I feel like dictators are probably worried about the reputation. And that’s, that’s where they’re talking about it the most. 

Sam  22:47

In my opinion. There’s not a lot of dictators out there. And I think, yes, we can put it on like Fox News and target a specific dictator and all that fun stuff. But it doesn’t really make them feel too special. What if we do it in a way like an influencer package in the form of like what we would send an influencer. So we would make them feel super special. You’ll do a thermos we’ll do a trophy, a golden trophy that looks just like the Death Star or maybe we do a track suit with the Deathstar branding on it. Stuff like that. So they’re really hyped about it. They obviously have to get it with messaging all over it with a letter explaining it like we want we’re here to help we want you to influence people and make the world your own. 

Rob  23:37

Oh okay, so influencer kit means you send it to an influencer and they were that shit on our next podcast or whatever it is, yes, or their next Instagram thing. 

Chris  23:46

So we would we be sending these kits to the dictators or are we kind of creating an influencer? That’s like living that Deathstar life

Sam  23:57

 I think because they’re narcissists –  If we send it directly to them saying you’re the only ones get this exclusive package, 

Chris  24:06

hmm, 

Sam  24:07

it speaks to them more. And we’ll get more attention. Like, I’m sure if we send something to Trump, it was gold plated. So this is only to you and a few other people, you’re very special. They’ll be like, buy everything. We want this buy all of them, no matter what  one thing I’m thinking about with dictators is heavy is the head that wears the crown. In other words, we all imagined, like whoever’s in charge, like, Oh, they get to do whatever they want. But in a TV show, the person who’s in charge is always like, I have all the power the kingdom, but I can’t walk down the street to get a sandwich. Like, they’re there. They’re constantly assaulted with decisions they have to make, and everything’s up to them and that and they just want to be like an artist, like, Is there a way to say like, Hey, this is gonna free you. I’m trying to figure out like, Is there a way to play on that a little bit. I don’t know what it would be either a spot that shows them finally like you know you can finally with this you can finally cast off your burdens or do we send out coloring books so they can express themselves? Death Star coloring books

Chris  25:18

Hmm, So it sounds like we’re kind of between two mediums either sending them something directly or doing like a very targeted TV spot 

John  25:29

What if we took out billboards outside of these dictators you know palaces where they where they live that say we know we know is tough having a bad day we know is tough. Why not let us help Death star. you know, or something like that and maybe almost make it like a propaganda poster too, just to make it a little bit. You know, funny, keep them in on the joke. 

Chris  25:59

I was gonna say that If we do like a visual medium like that, I love the idea of doing propaganda style, it would make perfect sense for who we’re talking to. 

Sam  26:07

If we do billboards, we should make them contextual. So like, the place where people usually gathered a protest the dictator, we just write above “you getting annoyed. Let’s do something about it. Death star.”

Chris  26:22

I actually really love that.

John  26:23

I actually, I like that

Chris  26:25

 Rob what do you think

Rob  26:26

I’m stuck here because we were I was really, I guess, maybe I just seem to let go of it’s your galaxy. 

Sam  26:33

we’ll still.. we will – 

Rob  26:35

Because right now we’re talking about right now. We’re talking about terrestrial dictators that we know of, you know, do we need to speak to all the fictional dictators out there in the galaxy? 

Sam  26:45

We’re speaking to people now as if they had access to the galaxy.

Rob  26:52

Okay, 

Sam  26:52

I think 

Chris  26:53

Yeah, because the the idea is that we have like a death star like it’s right behind Earth’s moon. Like it’s there ready to go for whoever is gonna buy it. It’s got like all the capabilities of the Death Star from the movie. So like, you know if tomorrow, Kim Jong Un or Vladimir Putin drops, how much are we charging for this thing? By the way? Is it like 800 trillion dollars?

Rob  27:19

Maybe in the quintillions? I’m not sure. 

Sam  27:21

It’s Septillions I believe a think its is like $380 septillion something like that. 

Chris  27:26

Okay. Okay, so I kind of like the out of home contextual idea.

John  27:31

 I do too.

Chris  27:33

Yeah. What do you thinkin and Rob? 

Rob  27:35

I’m thinking about the dictator as this lonely, misunderstood artists locked in an ivory tower. Did anyone see the movie Team America world police?

John  27:48

America fuck yeah

Rob  27:49

theres a lot of- . It’s the it’s the it’s South Park guys made a parody action movie. But in the action movie was Kim Jong Il, I believe it was because he was still alive at the time. But he sings a song about how lonely he is. He’s just he’s just ordered, you know, people to be murdered or whatever. And then he turns and he’s but he’s still just alone all by himself. We are the one product that understands him. And how important what he does is, is there a way to hit them with that? We get it no one else gets it not even your your closest advisors do but we do. Here. We’re going to give -here’s your golden ticket. finally be able to express yourself in the way that you deserve. I’m not sure what,  talk about you said out of home contextual? Meaning like..

Sam  28:49

I think what you’re speaking to you right now, Rob, is the voice of the campaign. 

Rob  28:54

Okay. 

Sam  28:55

That’s the voice. 

John  28:56

Yeah. 

Sam  28:56

Like we’re speaking to them like we understand. We’re the only ones that understand So now, let us help you. 

Rob  29:02

Okay. 

Sam  29:03

So we can do that in various different ways in the mediums because it just depends on how you want to present it. 

John  29:09

Honestly, I honestly almost see our voice being very similar to like a rehab commercial for Malibu, like the Malibu rehab centers. 

Sam  29:19

The problem with that is the rehab centers are speaking to people who know they have a problem. And they’re wanting to fix it. Whereas, 

John  29:27

right 

Sam  29:28

I guess it could work. 

John  29:28

Yeah, I hear you but I guess as far as the voice goes, I’m thinking almost like a calming, soothing, like, ah, I kind of you know what I’m saying like, if you watch those passages ads, they’re not calling out that people how that someone has a problem really necessarily. They’re almost just like, get get out, figure it out 

Sam  29:49

reassuring 

John  29:50

yeah reassure. Yeah, the word I was looking for, could have done that whole sentence was just reassuring. Thank you Sam.

Chris  30:00

Well, I was gonna say one of the reasons why I actually really liked the idea of the contextual out of home is because we can speak in that voice to dictators, depending on what it is. So like Sam said, it’d be kind of funny if the copy on the Billboard that’s near an area where people are protesting was something along the lines of like, you know, we like we know that the people below are like stressing you out Don’t you wish that you could like go out to like the cosmos and kind of make it your own?

Rob  30:32

 We get it, yeah

Chris  30:34

Exactly. Like we get it. The people below this billboard are raising your blood pressure. 

Rob  30:40

They just don’t get it. They don’t get it. They don’t get it 

Sam  30:44

Don’t go somewhere where everyone gets you. 

Rob  30:48

Is there something more dynamic than a billboard in that case? Because we don’t know where a protest is going to take place. 

John  30:57

They don’t even necessarily have to be They could just be in famous locations like we can Tiananmen square. Or the red. What is it the red? outside of the Soviet building?

Chris  31:15

Isnt that also The Red Square? 

John  31:17

Yeah, I think it’s the red square – whats with all these squares and communist countries

Sam  31:24

They’re such a square group of people

Chris  31:27

Sorry, Sam, what was that line you were saying before? Don’t you wish you could go somewhere 

Sam  31:32

where everyone gets you? 

Rob  31:33

Well, it’s also a safe space for, for dictators. 

Chris  31:37

That is really what we’re selling at the end of the day. So 

Rob  31:39

it’s finally a safe space for the dictators. 

Chris  31:43

Okay. I actually really love the idea of having these billboards and, like specific places where rebellions happen

Rob  31:51

ooh right

Chris  31:52

 Especially because it has a lot to do with the material that’s in the film being the whole point of it.  I like that. That’s fun. Because it’s basically you put up billboards where that you would expect it to be about like the fight goes on, but it’s not. It’s about like, you believe these people here 200 years ago protesting.

John  32:12

Yeah

Sam  32:12

Yeah.

John  32:13

Perfect. I like that. 

Rob  32:14

So where where would they like Tiananmen Square is perfect. Is there an iconic American Revolution site? That would be like, oh,

Chris  32:23

 Boston Harbor? 

Rob  32:24

Yeah, like pro King George. 

Chris  32:26

Gettysburg.

John  32:27

Gettysburg. haha Pretty controvertial .

Chris  32:36

Okay, so we got tenement square. Do we want to do the Red Square in Russia? 

Sam  32:42

We have internet in front of us. 

Rob  32:43

Well, then that thing is, yeah, it needs to be well known. And also not offensive. I’m just realizing like there are plenty of places where revolts were put down in the United States that you definitely don’t want to 

John  32:59

Right

Chris  33:00

Yeah, I really do think that like, the more modern we can get it though, the better and more relevant. It’ll be like, that’s why I love Tiananmen Square so much. I was gonna say I have a bad one, the DMZ. 

Rob  33:12

That’s a great one. That’s terrific, because that’s absurd.

Sam  33:16

 the DMZ for North Korea? 

John  33:18

billboard on the DMZ? 

Chris  33:20

I was gonna say if you want to get his attention, or her attention, depending on when this podcast goes up. 

Rob  33:26

I think Chris is right. I think the DMZ is the prime place. Look, where else is there a single spot where everyone’s focused. It’s DMZ or nowhere. 

Chris  33:38

Yeah, and the line could be something along the lines of like, the only like division or the only border that you have to worry about is like your Imagination or something like that 

Rob  33:47

Your imagination! the only limit is your imagination! Look, no one’s got any there’s no other billboards. There got 100% media saturation.

Chris  34:03

Oh God, the funniest part is that it would have to be probably on the South Korea side in order for North Korea to see it. 

Sam  34:12

Yeah. It would definitely would.

Chris  34:16

 Okay, so what’s our third one? Do you want to place in America? 

John  34:20

What about like Waco, Texas? Put up a billboard near Waco. That’s where the government just killed like 75 people, right? 

Sam  34:29

Wasnt Waco a cult? 

John  34:31

Yeah. 

Chris  34:33

Here I guess is maybe another question that might help us think about, like who to talk to or what to say is like, so we know about like Kim Jong Un obviously, like Putin’s a pretty easy target. Are there any other dictators that we aren’t really thinking about? Because for example, like are there dictators in like African countries for example, we might want to

Rob  34:57

currently all the best African dictator are in the past, sadly, really well, Edamine is a classic –  Papa dog and baby

35:08

All the best dictators are in the past, and they were like the worst human beings ever.

Sam  35:16

I think the problem with Russia is Russian Russians actually really like Putin. So I don’t think there’s like a problem. Unless we do like Cremiera or whatever that is.

Rob  35:28

 crimea. 

Chris  35:31

I mean, is there like, I’m trying to think Is there like a place in like Central America that we could maybe do? I’m trying to think of like, 

Sam  35:41

Yeah, one of the Central American countries then as well yet?

Rob  35:44

Well, I was thinking of like, there’s always a journalist getting killed in Russia. So maybe we had a billboard on top of like the ITAR TAs news agency. That’s like, hey, a person We get it these guys just don’t get 

Sam  36:02

it also speak to Russia because Russia wants to control more land so you could speak to them like hey, there’s there’s a whole galaxy out there Why worry about it?

Rob  36:14

Okay, how about this? What if there’s a Yeah, what if you put it up in Berlin where the wall used to be and it’s basically face towards Russia and it’s like hey Putin come back or something like that 

Chris  36:27

Berlin wall would be oof. We could do the Berlin Wall

Rob  36:33

whatever is there now? 

Sam  36:35

I don’t know if thats Strong enough

Chris  36:37

Actually, I was gonna say their Berlin Wall was down the middle of Germany right Right.

Sam  36:43

Yeah. Yeah.

Chris  36:45

Cuz gotta be somewhere the dictators eyes are gonna be. isn’t there? What is Putin most like obsessed with right now? Do we already talk about Crimea?

Sam  36:56

Yeah, I have a list of dictators right now.

Rob  36:59

Classic dictators

Sam  37:00

Well, we can do something with Iran. Sure. Right outside a military, American military base saying Don’t you wish these people would leave?

Rob  37:10

Right? We get it. Yeah, the shots not the shot the ayatollah, who’s in charge of Iran now, who is the

Sam  37:20

supreme leader? Al cominius. comini comoney? 

John  37:26

No, the Ayatollah 

Rob  37:27

Khomeny

John  37:28

Yeah. ayatollah is 

Rob  37:28

Khomeini,

John  37:29

  like a prime minister that

Rob  37:31

right the Prime Minister is elected. The Ayatollah is is technically actually in charge. 

Sam  37:38

What if we do Russia and we play off the Mother Russia thing and go back to the ovum?

John  37:45

I think above like the new york times in office in Russia would be fun. You’d see it

Chris  37:51

and the line, something about like, the only voice you have to listen to out there is your own.

Sam  37:57

hmm

John  37:59

 yeah. There you go. That’s Like that it’s perfect.

Chris  38:02

Okay, do you want to do that New York times in  russia– 

Sam  38:04

Yeah do that. 

Chris  38:05

DMZ and tiaman, tiamanan. Is that how you say it?  tia-na-men.

John  38:08

tiananmen, Tiananmen, 

Chris  38:10

Tiananmen. Okay.  Okay, so it sounds like we’ve decided we’re gonna have contextual billboards in Tiananmen Square, The New York Times office in Russia and the DMZ facing towards North Korea. So I threw out like a couple lines and I can just kind of go over them really quickly. So as a tagline I love make the galaxy your own. Love that so much. Some other lines that we’ve thrown out include the galaxy revolves around you. Don’t you wish you’d go somewhere everyone gets you. The only borders are your imagination. And the only voice you have to worry about is your own.

Rob  38:50

Oh, those are Oh, I oh..

John  38:55

Okay, so the only border is your imagination is a lie. And the tag i think is make the galaxy yours. I don’t think we need 

Chris  39:05

make the galaxy yours? 

John  39:07

I think it can be just make it make the galaxy yours.

Sam  39:10

Yeah. 

Chris  39:11

I like it too

Sam  39:12

Make the galaxy or yours should be our main tag. Definitely.

Chris Hanna  39:16

How are we feeling about any of those lines? I kind of love the imagination borders one for DMZ.

Sam  39:22

Yes.

Chris  39:23

Okay. 

John  39:24

Oh, That’s perfect placement for the DMZ.

Chris  39:26

So DMZ. The only borders are your imagination. Make the galaxy yours.

Rob  39:32

That’s just like it’s caring and like gentle and like, thoughtful.

Chris  39:38

in the most volatile place. Okay, cool. So, um, I think that the line is kind of long right now the only voice you have to worry about is your own. But I like something for that in the New York Times office on in Russia, because it’s kind of talking about the fact that like, obviously, you Time has been reporting on Putin saying what he’s doing. And I love this idea of like, you know, out in space you don’t have to worry about other people’s like opinions or recording or something

Robert Smith  40:11

or something like you can’t. In space no one can hear you scream was the 2001 tagline. 

Sam McKinney  40:20

Yeah

Robert Smith  40:20

I believe  it there something like that, like in space. You can’t hear fake news or something like that, like

Chris Hanna  40:29

no can… 

John Fish  40:29

no one can criticize in space.

Robert Smith  40:32

In space. There’s no bad news.

Chris Hanna  40:36

No fake news and space.

Robert Smith  40:38

what is that thing in Space or you’ll make your make your own news in space.

Chris Hanna  40:41

Is there something we could play with like “your truth” because that’s like also something that’s like really big with like, self help is like finding your truth. And…  it also has to do with the New York Times campaign that’s running right now. 

Sam McKinney  40:55

Yeah.

Robert Smith  40:56

Oh my god. 

John Fish  40:57

 Kind of how it how this campaign shaping now. It’s almost like a self help for dictators in a way. So it’s like your truth 

Sam McKinney  41:06

You’re truth is  the one that matters.

John Fish  41:08

Yeah, your truth is the only one in space.

Robert Smith  41:11

Yeah. 

Chris Hanna  41:11

Your truth is the only one. Okay, so in space your truth is the only one that matters. 

Robot Sam  41:17

Uh huh. 

Sam McKinney  41:18

Yeah. 

Chris Hanna  41:19

I like that a lot. Actually.  I’ve got the last one for tiananmen square. Don’t let anyone stand in your way.

Everyone  41:29

hahahaha.

Robert Smith  41:32

Oh, that’s so terrific, Sam a horrible monster. I’m glad it’s funny. I’m glad they’re suffering is funny for you, Sam.

Sam McKinney  41:40

 I am a dick.I know.

Chris Hanna  41:43

Sorry, Sam. Can you repeat that?

Sam McKinney  41:47

Don’t let anyone stand in your way.

Chris Hanna  41:50

Sam, how long were you sitting on that?

Sam McKinney  41:54

A couple minutes.

Chris Hanna  41:55

ugh God… okay guys, we got it.  

Robert Smith  42:00

All that cocaine is finally paying off, Sam

Sam McKinney  42:03

There we go. We have a campaign! 

Chris Hanna  42:06

We have a campaaaaaaaaaaaaign!

Robert Smith  42:10

Wow. WOW. Oh yeah. All we had to do was shed any amount of human decency or consideration of human welfare.

Chris Hanna  42:21

I have a feeling its going to be like that for a lot of these. 

Sam McKinney  42:25

Yeah, Do you think this going to help is our careers or make them harder?

Star Wars Character  42:29

Princess Leia before your execution, I would like you to be my guest as ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now.  commence primary ignition. [EXPLOSION SFX]

Obiwan  42:53

Theres great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror then suddenly silenced. I feel something terrible has happened

Chris Hanna  43:03

first I think what we should do is we should thank our special guests Rob for being here 

Robert Smith  43:08

Oh, you guys. It was great. Please invite me back anytime.

Sam McKinney  43:13

We probably will.

Robert Smith  43:14

Okay, so next week? got it.

Chris Hanna  43:16

We also want you to bring back every single time you come back we want you to bring that ovum idea inside warmer other camp every single product. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing. We want to have that insight in

Robert Smith  43:28

Got it, can do! guys. I am all about youngian archetypes and bringing them into the work.Thanks for having me guys. I learned a lot.

Chris Hanna  43:38

We all did too

Sam McKinney  43:39

I think we’ve all grown.

Chris Hanna  43:42

Here is our final campaign for the Deathstar. Our insight is that dictators are narcissists, who you know are just misunderstood. And that’s why we’re going with the tagline make the galaxy yours. Our medium is going to be out of home contextual placements. And so we’ve got three billboards. The first First one is going to be on the DMZ line in between North Korea and South Korea. And it’ll read the only borders are your imagination. The second one is going to be in Tiananmen Square. And the line on that one, it’s going to say, don’t let anyone stand in your way. And our third and final one is not going to be a New York Times office in Russia because we found out with later research that there actually isn’t one. But that’s okay. We got a backup. It’s going to be the Associated Press broadcasting Center building in Moscow, and the line on that billboard is going to read in space, your truth is the only one that matters. make the galaxy yours, the Death Star.

John Fish  44:39

Now it’s your turn. Check out our results on adtempted.com. And let us know how we did on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Just follow @adtempted until next time, may the force be with you

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