Alchemy This

What if CNN-type breaking news was delivered similarly by the town criers of the day in Medieval England. Ancient and modern day news styles fight for center stage… We eavesdrop in on a Residents Committee Meeting at a retirement home called “Leisure World.” Things get out of hand instantly, but it does allow the return of a favorite Alchemy This character, “Martin McCue…” It’s minutes before the event/match between not-yet-famous pro-wresters “The Tickler” and “Snakeman,” we’re privy to negotiations backstage between the wrestlers, a  promoter named The Colonel and a wannabe mobster regarding who’s gonna win, and who needs to lose…

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There’s a jumper, and all efforts to stop him seem to create one more insane problem after another; In this corporate office, new and historically unnecessary levels of employee-created chaos are realized; Neighbors have competing lemonade stands that lead to bizarre conflicts as well as an offer for protection from crooked cops. Featuring Brad Norman!

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On the floor of a FurryCon, strangers sniff out more than human contact and interaction, and international intrigue is the least of it. In an interrogation room, two cops try ye olde Good Cop/Bad Cop to get a confession out of a serial flasher, and it quickly gets complicated with too many details. In an attempt to put a dent in the meth business, a dealer switches to carrots with no ranch dressing. Yeah, no, it’s not an easy transition… 

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When a Health Inspector surprises a restaurant, the staff does their damnedest to keep the customers happy while explaining a multitude of infractions. A couple of ghosts show the newbie around; they haunt some teenagers playing with a ouija board. And a plug for the Alchemists performing LIVE on March 2nd at Westside Comedy Theater.

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From Listener Mail: Things go a little sideways when a man attempts to help and ultimately take control of an accident scene. A production office for a wrestling federation, wherein new names and characters are created and then cast. Getting an official sit down with the local Mafia don are as difficult as you might think… A plug for the members of Alchemy This performing LIVE on March 13th at Westside Comedy Theater.

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When the Gods from all known (and some not-so-much) history get together, all hell breaks loose… Ripped from the day’s headlines, Passengers on Empress of the Sea cruise ship spot a small boat in their path. Attempts are made in earnest to offer assistance, and fail most uniquely… Also ripped from news, A Law Passed In Canada to stop prosecuting those who fake witchcraft or conduct a séance for the sole purpose of financial gain, but here we wondered quite aloud what happened in the courtroom before the law was passed, and those accused had to defend themselves…

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We had some wonderful scene suggestions from fans this week: The alchemists are part of a cult, a cult that ends in a mass suicide pact. Once the deed is done, they get stuck in limbo and have to try and work out what unfinished business they have to take care of. In the meantime Satan & God try to persuade each of them to choose heaven or hell as their final resting place...A librarian has to field people's questions or their excuses for late fees...A crack shot team of art thieves break into a large art gallery. 

SPECIAL GUEST: Mark Gagliardi.

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Two or these three storylines were inspired by listener mail: An odd, yet familiar family of five driving on a cross-country, summer vacation pick up a hitchhiker, Scott, and he makes the trip a tad more memorable... Competitive cooking TV shows are taken to a weird and wonderful low point, thankfully, and then we go hilariously meta in the podcast world... Kevin loves that scene in every wild west movie that takes place in the town saloon. As our alchemists stretch this particular realm to its breaking point, things get goofy as hell, don’t ya know.

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From Your Listener Mail: If the superhero names Captain Critique, Soup-er Man, Keeper of the Rules, Pits & Palms or Daylights Savings Man don’t ring a bell, you’re not alone… The time to get to know them is now, and you’re welcome. The office of the Registrar fills up quickly with over-worked yet under-informed teachers, coaches without borders or rules, and one funding family who’s faces haunt the halls. NASA decides to open up the opportunity to be an astronauts and work on the International Space Station... Folks from all walks of life line up, and, oh-boy, are they all not qualified.

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In the first of three scenes, as a runaway train screams along the tracks, the crew do all they can to figure out how to save the passengers from harm’s way. Yeah, no, they don’t do all that well with the task at hand. Next up in scene two, we enter a courtroom, where a case is being argued to determine if, indeed, the famed author of “How to Murder Your Husband” has, in fact, murdered her husband. Surprisingly, all is not as it appears, and incompetence may just rule the day. Last up, we head to the new year’s eve party of a simple man, who’s family has turned up in record numbers. One needn’t wonder too long whether or not the reason for the historic party turnout coincides with the host having just won the country’s largest national lottery.

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