This episode is part 2 of a very special episode with Bradley Roth. Last week's episode was part 1, so tune in to the first half of this episode if you haven’t already, although we think that part 2 packs even more value than part 1. We wanted to break it up and make sure you hear the powerful insight that was dropped here. 

In this episode, Bradley and Alison dive further into the topic of personal relationships and the lack of role models out there that model what healthy relationships look like. So many of us have arguments with our partners and don’t even realize that we’re fighting for the same thing, but just asking in different ways. Strictly love and attraction isn’t going to be what makes a relationship last. It takes work to listen and understand where the other person is coming from. It can be so difficult to listen without jumping on the defense, but Alison shares strategies she has used for couples in therapy to listen to each other without an agenda, and realize they are fighting for the same issue. Another thing is that we can’t assume that our partner knows what we want and then become frustrated when we don’t get it. Open and clear communication is key but takes work to achieve. 

Alison shares about the power of semantics and how sometimes the one little word “why” can immediately put someone in defensive mode. She offers examples for reframing that won’t elicit that feeling in others. There is always a solution to any problem we have. If the problem keeps coming up, it means the solution hasn’t been found. Bradley shares a powerful series of quotes about what separates “most people” from “not most people.” Tune in to hear more! 

Key highlights:

• Why so many relationships are not working
• If you focus only on the problems, you are going to have more problems
• Don’t assume the other person knows exactly what you want - conflicts stay conflicts when they stay in our head 
• Ask questions so that you don't jump to conclusions
• The power of semantics: What the word “why” elicits in someone 
• The stress of financial insecurity 
• Operating out of a place of abundance when we feel scarce 
• All fear is future based
• Bradley’s closing advice: most people vs. not most people

Connect with Bradley Roth:

Instagram: @not.most.people | @bradley_roth

YouTube: Not Most People

Website: notmostpeople.net

Podcast: Not Most People podcast on Apple Podcasts

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE

Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

In this special episode (part 1 of 2) Alison is joined by Bradley Roth. Bradley is the leader of the Not Most People Alliance which is the ultimate community for those looking to live a life beyond average and become what most people are not: happy, healthy, wealthy, growing, and free. The goal is to wage a war on the epidemic of mediocrity and come together with like-minded people who are hungry for success. Bradley started his podcast “The Not Most People Podcast” with the goal of changing the way people think about success, life, and happiness. Bradley also helps high-performers improve their relationships both professionally, and on a personal level with their significant other. You are sure to gain tremendous value by tuning in to Bradley’s calm energy and great wisdom. 

In part 1 of this conversation with Bradley, he dives into his realization that he was not where he wanted to be in life and what propelled him on his journey to success. He used his awareness of the importance of relationship building for business success and always looking to lead with value. 

Bradley also emphasizes the importance of getting quiet with yourself to get out of the consumption cycle that so many people get stuck in. It is great to read books and listen to podcasts and learn from other people, but there comes a point where you notice a pattern and realize that you know what you need to do. The next step involves looking inward and making your consumption more selective so you can evolve.

Bradley and Alison dive into the topic of personal relationships, relying on other people for our happiness and learning how to get on the same page as your significant other even when it feels like you are at complete odds. Part 2 dives more in-depth into personal relationships and packs an even bigger punch than part 1 so make sure to tune in next week!

Key highlights:

• How Bradley builds professional relationships and leads with value
• Getting out of a consumption cycle
• The beauty of personal relationships and bringing the best out in each other
• Bradley talks about codependency and the problem of relying on other people for your happiness instead of doing the inner work on yourself 
• Alison’s therapy practice of learning to really listen to our partner without getting defensive

Connect with Bradley Roth:

Instagram: @not.most.people | @bradley_roth

YouTube: Not Most People

Website: notmostpeople.net

Podcast: Not Most People podcast on Apple Podcasts

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE

Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

With there being a lot of smoke and mirrors on social media, the power of vulnerability has become even more evident. Vulnerability connects us, and that is all we really want. We all want to be loved, understood, and to feel like we are not alone. Through sharing our experiences, we can turn our pain into purpose and let others know that we have a choice to make our pain temporary and take charge of our lives to reach our most confident, empowered, and free self. In this episode with Mind and Body Transformation Expert Amber Shaw, you will be empowered to learn to truly love who you see in the mirror.

Amber Shaw is the Founder of The Wellness Revolution, a Motivational Speaker, and Internationally Recognized Authority in the Health and Wellness Industry. She is a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach, Integrative Nutrition Health Coaching, Certified ISSA Group Fitness, and Certified ISSA Personal Trainer. In her 20s, Amber overcame an eating disorder but found getting herself continuing the vicious cycle of deprivation dieting into her 30s. Finding herself miserable in her own skin, Amber knew there had to be a better way. She gave up all the dieting and found true food freedom, and did extensive inner work to learn to truly love and accept herself. Now she has transformed the lives of thousands of women to rediscover their confidence and live a lifestyle that is effortless and sustainable.

In this episode, Amber gets real and honest about the painful journey that led her to where she is today, and her realization that things in life happen FOR us, and not TO us. From the outside, Amber’s life looked perfect. She had a great job and a picture-perfect family, but inside, she was miserable. By tapping into her intuition through just getting quiet with herself, she transformed her life and wants the same for you. Tune in to Amber’s story of healing and hope.

Key highlights:

• Amber’s backstory of getting to where she is now
• Our intuition is our direct line to a higher spirit 
• We have only one purpose: to know we are loveable 
• Getting to the root of our addictions and self-destructive behaviors 
• Doing inner work isn’t about becoming a different person, it is about having the tools to not go down a rabbit hole and to show up for life differently 
• As women we are so hard on ourselves and don't allow ourselves to celebrate our strength and how far we have come, so it is time to change that
• Pain can have tremendous power if we let it and we have a choice in how we respond to it
• Leaning into the idea of “Things happen FOR us not TO us”
• Amber’s words for someone in pain and her intention of sharing her story

Episode resources:
Book: The Universe Has Your Back by Gabby Bernstein 

Connect with Amber Shaw:
Instagram: @msambershaw
TikTok: @msambershaw
Website: ambershaw.com
Podcast: The Wellness Revolution Podcast with Amber Shaw

Connect with Alison:
Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
Website: LagerCounseling.com
YouTube: Alison Answers
Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

When we shift our mindset to view obstacles as opportunities, our whole world changes. Challenges and adversity will come our way, and while it is important to allow ourselves the time and place to feel all the feelings that come along with them, there comes a time to dust ourselves off and keep going. Dealing with loss, whether it’s a loved one, a business, or a dream can be so painful, but it also comes with gifts if we choose to let it. Today’s guest has experienced painful loss and depression but made a choice to commit to his personal growth and choose gratitude for this life each and every day.

Mark Ferrelli had an entrepreneurial spirit all his life and knew he was destined to create great things. After the loss of his mother and grandfather in a short time, and then losing everything in his business curing COVID, he became depressed and felt hopeless. After letting himself feel all the feelings that came along with those losses, he woke up one day and chose gratitude for each day that we get to be alive and have access to food and water that so many people around the world don’t experience. He felt called to create his brand “This New Day” to inspire others to realize the power of gratitude and that this life is too great to live in a victim mentality.

• How Mark got started with his first business and what he learned from that experience
• The importance of teaching communication skills to our children because it is becoming a lost art in today’s world
• The tragedies that struck Mark's life during COVID
• Things happen FOR you not TO you
• Why Mark started his business “This New Day”
• Gratitude is free and can change your life if you shift your perspective
• Pain can be a beautiful gift if we allow it
• It’s okay to have a bad day and feel like everything sucks, but there comes a time to pull yourself out of it
• The truth is the pathway to all freedom
• How 75 hard and podcasts saved Mark’s life
• Mark’s fitness tips that got him into the best shape of his life in his 40s
• Incremental steps are better for the long haul: small is the new big

This episode is a first for the podcast, as Alison sits down with another psychotherapist to discuss their aligned mission to help others live a life that is fulfilled and lights them up. Tanya Cole-Lesnick is a former graphic designer that found herself pursuing a career in therapy after her own experience with a therapist changed her life. She has been a psychotherapist, social worker, and coach since 1995 and she is on fire with her passion to help others see the amazing power of therapy and doing the work to get to know every aspect of our inner selves.

Through attending both individual and group therapy, Tanya found the life-changing effects of being vulnerable and connecting with other humans in our struggles. No matter the type of childhood or upbringing we experienced, we all learned and saved certain thoughts and beliefs that may not be serving us as adults, and we can walk around without even realizing that we are not aligned with our true and highest self. So often, we try to dismiss our true feelings, we talk negatively to ourselves and can default to people-pleasing tendencies that are not serving us. The key is to do the uncomfortable but necessary work of sitting with ourselves and learning who we truly are. 

In this episode, you will be inspired to take a deep look inside yourself and assess if you are living a life that is aligned with your values, wants, and needs. There is incredible power in getting real about what it is that’s important to you, and also sharing your struggles with others that deserve to hear them. There is magic in sharing and in vulnerability, and that is what you will get in this episode. Alison and Tanya are both on a mission to change the face of mental health and they have a powerful message for you today.

Key highlights:

• Tanya’s background and why she decided to get a degree in social work
• How to access and honor your truth and change the habits that don't serve you
• The power that a group therapy session can have on someone's lives
• The importance of vulnerability, discomfort, and honoring your feelings and needs
• Boundaries are important: Stop being “good” for everyone else
• Align your thoughts and feeling with who you want to be
• We have been conditioned in our childhood so we all have stuff that needs healing, so rather than judging and pushing it away, get curious and explore it
• When we are aligned with ourselves, we can let go of things that are not aligned with us and know we are better off
• What a therapist should be
• Tanya’s advice to someone struggling with low self-esteem
• If you are looking externally for fulfillment, you will not find it- The magic is inside you and on your journey
• How to connect with Tanya and join one of her group therapy settings

Connect with Tanya Cole-Lesnick:

Instagram: @tanyathetherapist

Website: tanyacole-lesnick.com

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Pain is the greatest gift we never wanted. Seeing pain through the lens of gratitude might seem counterintuitive, but if we choose to view our pain, tragedy, or adversity as a powerful teacher and gift, we can learn humility, gratitude, and how incredibly resilient we all are. The story in this episode is one of tragedy to triumph, and you will see how you can transform your life and reinvent yourself no matter what you have been through. Everyone is entitled to their feelings about their pain, so remember not to compare your pain or tragedy to what you will hear today. Instead, take it as an inspiring learning experience of how you can get out of tragedy and to the beauty on the other side.

Amberly Lago had her life turned upside down when she was hit by an SUV while riding her motorcycle. She required 34 surgeries to save her leg from amputation and then was diagnosed with an incurable disease caused by the accident. As result, she lost my business and self-confidence. How does someone pull themselves out of such a dark place? Amberly will tell you exactly how in this episode.

Amberly is authentic and raw in sharing her journey of reinventing herself after her accident, and how she felt the strength to start over at age 45. She shares the important lessons that her pain taught her, and why she is grateful for the things she has been through. As a motivational speaker, she teaches how to get out of your own head, overcome your inner critic, and realize how strong you truly are. Tune in to this incredible story of tragedy to triumph. 

Key highlights:

• It is hard to imagine that something good can come from a tragic event, but Amberly is grateful for everything she has gone through
• Pain teaches us humility, empathy, and gratitude
• Dealing with our inner critic
• How to switch your perspective when you are feeling inadequate
• Why we need to talk to ourselves instead of listening to yourselves
• Overcoming negative self-talk
• Amberly’s daily non-negotiables
• It is important to connect with others and share our pain with those that deserve to hear it

Quote from the episode:

“Pain shared is divided, and joy shared is multiplied.” - Amberly Lago

Episode resources:

Book mentioned: Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie

Connect with Amberly Lago:

Instagram: @amberlylagomotivation

Website: amberlylago.com

Text “GRIT” to 818-214-7378 to download a FREE playbook to strengthen your resilience

Podcast: True Grit and Grace

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Whether we are talking business, or life in general, putting genuine and real connections with people as a top priority above all else is the key to success. That doesn’t mean being a people pleaser and always saying “yes”, but it means operating out of a mentality of always being ethical and expressing gratitude for the people in your life. Knowing when to say "no" and set boundaries is important, so finding that balance between love for others and love for yourself is an important skill to have. In this episode, Alison sits down with Emily Frisella to discuss the wisdom she imparts in her book, “Relationships First.”

Emily Frisella is a multi-passionate entrepreneur, business coach, speaker, and author of three best-selling books. She started her first business at just 20 years old, and since then she has built successful businesses by prioritizing relationships and operating from her core values. Emily’s mission is to help women reach their potential and empower them to lead in their personal and professional lives through self-development, awareness, and learning to brand their passions and talents. Emily has a message that is especially important for young people to hear early on, and that is people who will criticize you have a problem with themselves, so always stay true to yourself. This is an episode you will want to share with people of all ages as Emily empowers you to love people fiercely while being authentically you.

Emily gets real and honest about how she manages to get everything done and how she has been able to reach the success she has accomplished. She shares how she manages stress and how she got comfortable saying no while continuing to operate from a place of gratitude and integrity. It is important to protect your peace and energy, so knowing how to audit the circle of those around you will help you keep a healthy balance of pouring into others while not neglecting to pour into yourself. Too many people are operating out of a mentality of transactional relationships and only caring what other people can offer them, but Emily encourages us all to be genuine in our relationships and the rest will fall into place.

Key highlights:

• Emily’s childhood growing up as a shy and very introverted child
• Lessons Emily learned growing up and her message for young people to not pay attention to those that criticize and learn to love yourself
• How people treat you is a “them” problem, not a “you” problem 
• Build a community that is for you and not against you 
• Gradually working people out of your life
• How Emily got comfortable saying "no"
• The trouble with social media and people not being honest
• How Emily manages stress
• People, passion, and profits: Treating people right will get you profits
• Time is love, and the power of handwritten letters

Episode resources:

Get a copy of Emily’s book: Relationships First 

Connect with Emily: 

Instagram: @emilyfrisella

Website: emilyfrisella.com

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

We can choose how we view the adversity and challenges in our life and see them as tools that shaped us into who we were meant to be. It is essential to work through the pain and suffering in our lives by reaching out for help and not burying or numbing the pain through various vices. Once we have done the proper work through our healing journey, we can come out on the other side with a sense of gratitude for the painful and sometimes tragic experiences we have gone through. Today’s guest is on a mission to end self-inflicted mental suffering because she knows what it is like to attempt to bury the pain and shame through addictions and negative behaviors that feed into prolonging our pain.

Monica Burke is an entrepreneur, real estate expert, and author of her new book, “Power On: Using What’s Meant to Destroy You to Create You.” Having grown up in a family of addicts and experiencing the tragic loss of her father when she was a child, Monica learned to take the building blocks of suffering, pain, abuse, grief, and abandonment to create life-changing and mindset-shifting habits. She believes that inside our deepest suffering lies our greatest strengths, and that is what you can expect from both this episode and her book.

In this episode, Monica strives to teach others to shortcut their pain and the learning curve to living a better life. She offers advice to learn to silence every voice except your own and search for the truth within yourself. She also teaches how to get the truth from others, and why it is so important to “ride the emotional wave” and know that decisions and actions don’t need to be immediate. No response is a response, and making decisions when emotions are high is not aligned with our highest self. Tune in to learn how to stop beating yourself up and use your pain to elevate you to your true potential.

Key highlights:

• Monica’s background and childhood growing up around addiction, losing her father, and having a strict upbringing
• A story of a teacher that recognized Monica’s worth and changed her life
• Monica’s story of assault and absorbing the shame that came with it
• The core belief that kept her pushing through the pain
• Being an HSP: Highly Sensitive Person - and why she felt she needed to numb herself
• Making the conscious choice to view our situation differently
• How to quiet every voice but your own
• How to get to the truth from yourself and others
• Monica's mantra of accepting herself and others for who they are
• Releasing the idea that you need to get along with everyone 
• Being okay with being wrong
• Monica’s advice to “ride the emotional wave” and what that looks like

Connect with Monica Burke:

Facebook: Monica Burke

Instagram: @monica_burke_poweron

TikTok: @monicaburkepoweron

Get her new book: “Power On: Using What’s Meant to Destroy You to Create You”

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

We don’t seek success. What we seek is helping others and then success follows. The object of our life is not to pursue money or fame, but to provide value for others and always lead with good intentions. By following this mindset, success will be attracted to you. Today’s guest is a very inspiring example of what it looks like to lead with value and be able to build an empire out of helping other people. He has 0ver 59 million views on YouTube and over 9 million likes on TikTok.

Roger Wakefield is an expert plumber with over 40 years of experience, and he is now also a speaker, and trainer with the goal to help anyone with their plumbing in any way he can. He also teaches people about how to market on social media and is always seeking to provide value to others. 

In this episode, Roger shares his inspiring story of going from being on the brink of losing his business, to where he is now with a very successful business and influential online presence. He emphasizes the importance of trades-type jobs and the impact that we can all have on the world if we realize that bringing goodwill to others will lead us to a life of fulfillment and success.

Key highlights:

• Roger’s story of making a change in his life after getting the news that he was about to lose his business
• Roger doesn't believe we seek success but instead, we seek to help and success follows
• It’s not about the money, it's about doing the right thing 
• It’s easier to get where you want to go if you can get someone who has been there to teach you
• Changing the narrative about tradespeople
• If the whole world just tried to lead with value, we would all be in a better place
• Getting recognized for the value and help he has provided to people
• People need to hear your story 
• If you want to get out of your situation, “learn your way up.” 
• Roger’s 3 words of wisdom: Build, repair, profit

Quote from the episode:

“You can learn your way out of anything”

Connect with Roger Wakefield:

TikTok: @rogerwakefield

Website: rogerwakefield.com

YouTube: Roger Wakefield

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Having people in our corner that are rooting for us and want to see us succeed and be happy is essential. We are not meant to walk through life alone, so finding and nurturing relationships that we can count on to provide honesty and support is so important, and our guest today does that for so many women.

Shannel Venegas has always had a calling for leadership and has a passion for teaching people about both business and life improvement. Through intuitive coaching, she helps people shift their mindsets and live a more fulfilling life while propelling their businesses forward. Shannel is no-nonsense and will give you the truth, even if it may hurt to hear. Shannel wants to empower women everywhere to take control of their lives and anyone who has worked with her will say she has a gift of guiding others exactly where they need to be and helping them overcome anything blocking success.

In this episode, Shannel shares her personal story of triumph over her challenging circumstances and is honest and open about her personal struggles and what she has learned along her path. Through sharing about her divorce, she encourages people to recognize when a relationship is not serving them and to take it all as a learning experience and stay strong in knowing what they deserve. Shannel and Alison discuss trauma bonds and trauma responses and what that looks like in relationships. Tune in to be empowered and hear a story of triumph delivered with real raw authenticity. 

Key highlights:

• Introduction to Shannel and her backstory of being involved in the most deadly gang in the world
• Why Shannel is public about her mistakes
• How Shannel moved through the loneliness she felt in her life
• The theory that our love languages are what we didn’t receive as a child
• The effects of verbal abuse vs. physical
• What is a trauma bond?
• Shannel’s advice to someone in a relationship in which their needs are not being met
• What is a trauma response?

Connect with Shannel Venegas:

Facebook: Shannel Venegas

TikTok: @beautyandhustle

Website: beautyandhustle.com

Instagram: @beautyandhustle_

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac