Modern dads are around their kids much more than men were a generation or two ago. We see their struggles more and have opportunities to fix them, but should we? In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about supporting our kids without fighting all their battles. 

Why This Matters
One of the best ways we can support our kids is to stand beside them as they fight their own battles. 

Key Takeaways

·      Modern dads are more involved: Research shows dads now spend 3–4x more time with our kids than men did in the 1970s. 

·      But more involved can become “too” involved: More time gave rise to helicopter, lawn mower, bulldozer, and drone parents. 

·      Kids will always need support: It will change during every stage, but dads will always play a role in their kids’ lives. 

Action Steps for Dads

1. Know When To Step In

2. Step In vs. Step Back

3. Really Listen. 

4. Helping Them Process.

5. Be Their Biggest Fan.

6. Letting Them Struggle.

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 00:43 | Parenting Has Changed Drastically
00:43 – 02:12 | Helicopter, Lawnmower & Bulldozer Parents
02:12 – 03:38 | The Dawn of the “Drone Parent”
03:38 – 07:03 | Tracking, Tech, and Emotional Helicoptering
07:03 – 09:12 | Fixing vs. Helping: When Parents Do Too Much
09:12 – 12:27 | The Big Question: Support or Interfere?
12:27 – 16:40 | Knowing When to Step In: Safety, Severity & Seasons
16:40 – 23:03 | Helping Kids Process Challenges Without Taking Over
23:03 – 28:32 | Pro Move of the Week
This week, when you are tempted to jump in, pause and see if your kid can do it on their own. 

More Resources:

Episode 88 – Could Your Son Be Struggling in Silence?

Episode 95 – What Challenges is Generation Alpha Facing?

 3 Reasons Your Child Needs to Struggle

5 Areas Where Your Teen Needs to Struggle

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Have you ever messed up as a dad? Of course you have. We all have, and dad guilt is real. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how to handle our parenting mistakes in a way that keeps us close to our kids. 

Why This Matters
How we respond after making a mistake shapes our relationship with our kids.

Types of Dad Mess Ups

1. Accidental Fails: These are NOT heart issues; these are just mistakes. 

2. Emotional Mess Ups: These dismiss how your kids are feeling

3. Social Mess Ups: Things that embarrass your kids. 

4. Guidance Mess Ups: Giving bad advice to you’re your kids. 

5. Presence Mess Ups: Simply, not being there for your kids.  

What is dad guilt?

Dad guilty is typically defined as the feeling men have when they think they have fallen short of their desires or expectations as a parent.   

How To Get Over Dad Guilt?
Action Step 1: Have awareness.

Action Step 2: Own your mess up.

Action Step 3: Apologize.

Action Step 4: Forgive yourself.

Action Step 5: Plan for next time.

Important Episode Timestamps 

00:00 – 03:53 | The Broken Wrist Vacation Fail

03:53 – 05:12 | When Kids Hide Their Pain to “Be Easy”

05:12 – 06:33 | The Garage Door Face-Plant Story

06:33 – 09:22 | When Your Mistake Becomes a 4,000-Pound Reminder

09:22 – 11:25 | The Big Question: What Do I Do When I Mess Up as a Dad?

11:25 – 13:49 | Embarrassing Kids in Public: Social Fails

13:49 – 16:20 | Presence Fails: When You’re There but Not Really There

16:20 – 20:33 | Action Step #1: Show Awareness and Identify the Mess-Up

20:33 – 25:23 | Action Step #2: Own It and Apologize Well

25:23 – End | Action Step #3: Plan for Next Time and Don’t Repeat the Pattern

APD Pro Move:
When you mess up this week, say you’re sorry. Tell your child they did not deserve it and remind them that you love them. 

All Pro Dad Resources: 

Episode 106 – What Is A Passenger Parent and Am I One?

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Are you a passenger parent? Yes, that’s a real thing. If you’re deferring to mom all the time or around your kids but not really engaged with them, you could be a passenger parent—just along for the ride. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how to avoid falling into this trap and staying fully engaged with our family. 

Why This Matters

Our kids need us to be fully engaged dads, not part-time parents. 

What causes passenger parenting? Research says...

1.    Lack of Confidence

2.    Fear of Criticism

3.    Cultural Conditioning

4.    Overwhelm and Distraction

5.    No Shared Game Plan

Action Steps for Dads

1: Step in without being asked.

Take initiative on tasks like meals, bedtime, or school runs.

2: Take full responsibility for some things.

Own a specific area, like sports schedules or bath time, from start to finish.

3: Learn the details.

Know your kids’ routines, needs, and important dates so you can act without reminders.

4: Stay engaged. 

Put away distractions, focus on your kids and what’s happening in the moment.

5: Plan together.

Have regular check-ins with your wife to divide responsibilities and make adjustments.

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 02:21 | The Viral Mime Video and Dad Judgment

02:21 – 03:12 | What is Passenger Parenting?

03:12 – 04:01 | Five Signs You Might Be a Passenger Parent

04:01 – 05:21 | When Dad Checks Out Without Realizing It

05:21 – 07:17 | Why Moms Often Know More

07:17 – 08:20 | Solo Parenting Reveals the Gaps

08:20 – 09:14 | Three Questions Every Dad Should Ask Himself

09:14 – 13:07 | Don’t Wait Until Your Wife Hits a Breaking Point

13:07 – End | Developing Shared Leadership at Home

APD Pro Move:
Schedule a conversation with your wife and ask, “Do you see me as a passenger parent?”

All Pro Dad Resources:

Episode 92 – What’s the Best Part About Raising Boys?

Episode 97 – What’s the Best Part About Being a Girl Dad?

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Is your marriage in a rough season? Are you and your wife arguing more? Struggling to connect? You’re not the only one. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster to talk about difficulties in marriage, the fights that result, and how not to give up on the relationship.

Why This Matters

No marriage is perfect, but all marriages are worth fighting for. 

6 Ways to NOT Give Up on Your Marriage

1. Ask a better question.
Ask, “What am I doing to make this marriage work?”

2. Get help.
There’s no shame in going to counseling. 

3. Take divorce off the table.  
For most couples, their marriage can be fixed!

4. Take a vacation from your issues. 
Set aside time when you aren’t trying to figure out what is wrong and enjoy what is right. 

5. Surround your marriage  
Surround your marriage with people who are for your marriage and not just you. 

6. Be brave.  
Fight for the courage to do the hard, uncomfortable, and self-sacrificing things to save your family.

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 02:05 | Little Fights Add Up

02:05 – 04:17 | Small Annoyances Become Big Problems

04:17 – 05:53 | Is This Worth Fighting For?

05:53 – 07:43 | The Marriage Happiness U-Curve

07:43 – 09:35 | The Four Horsemen That Destroy Marriages

09:35 – 11:23 | Your Tone and Reactions Shape Conflict

11:23 – 14:59 | Ask a Better Question

14:59 – 20:15 | Don’t Wait to Get Help

20:15 – 23:26 | Take a Vacation From Your Issues

23:26 – End | Surround Yourself With Marriage-Builders

APD Pro Move:
Bravely, humbly, ask your wife, “What is one thing I can do to love and serve you this week?”  (Once she responds, simply say, "Thanks for letting me know." Then do it. If your wife says it’s too late, talk to an expert.)   

All Pro Dad Resources:

Episode 101 – How Does Having Kids Change Your Marriage?

Episode 91 – Is There a Secret to Balancing Marriage and Fatherhood?

How 4 Minutes 4 Times a Day Can Prote

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Is my child too spoiled? If you’re even asking, that means you’re spending a good amount of money on your kids. We get it. Youth sports, music lessons, and all those extracurriculars add up, but does that equal a spoiled kid? In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how much we’re spending on our children and if that’s even a bad thing. 

Why This Matters
Stewarding our money well is one way we love our families. 

Potential Problems of Overspending on Our Kids

1. Kids may get used to receiving all the time.

2. It demonstrates a lack of self-control by Dad. 

3. It contributes to kids’ anxious feelings. 

4. Parents may feel financial strain. 

5. The line between need and want gets blurred. 

What Can Dads Do?

Action Step 1: Take a hard look at your spending habits around your child. Is it excessive? 

Action Step 2: Take a hard look at what your spending habits around your kids is doing to you. Are you overextended and stressed out about money? 

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 01:19 | How Much Are We Really Spending on Our Kids?

01:19 – 03:51 | Am I Overspending or Just Feeding Them?

03:51 – 05:35 | Theme Parks, Passes, and Pricey Memories

05:35 – 09:03 | Did Our Parents Overspend? Not Even Close

09:03 – 10:37 | The Gas-Money Jar Strategy

10:37 – 13:48 | “This Isn’t Fair!” and the Car Lesson That Stuck

13:48 – 17:53 | Overspending Sets an Example—Good or Bad

17:53 – 21:20 | Needs vs. Wants: The Hockey Equipment Breakdown

21:20 – 25:57 | Am I Buying This for Them… or for Me?

25:57 – End | Pro Move: Identify 2-3 significant items or experiences you’ve provided for your child, and ask yourself: What lesson is it teaching them about money, patience, and value? If the answer isn’t clear, or feels negative, hit the brakes and reconsider. 

All Pro Dad Resources 

Episode 56: Dale Alexander: How Do We Teach Our Kids About Money?

Episode 57: Dale Alexander: What Should Ever Dad Know About Managing Money?

3 Ways to Think Differently About Your

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“She’s the most beautiful girl in town. That makes her the best, and don’t I deserve the best?” Remember that line from Gaston in Beauty and the Beast? It probably doesn’t register as disrespectful with kids, but it certainly is. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how to raise sons to respect women.

Why This Matters

·       Boys have mothers and sisters, who are worthy of respect.

·       Boys will date girls, who are worthy of respect.

·       Boys may one day have wives, who will be worthy of respect.

If you’re wondering what do to teach your sons about respecting women, you’re not alone. Start here:

1. Point out problematic phrases directed at women:

Objectifying, controlling, and sexualized language is not respectful. 

 2. Listen to girls/women:  

When a girl says “____,” respect her wishes. No means no.

3. Set a standard:

Model respect with the women you interact with. Show respect with your words, actions, and entertainment decisions. Your sons will see that. 

4. Follow the standard, not the crowd:
Remind kids that they don’t have to go along with what other boys accept, popularize, or glamorize about women.   

Important Episode Timestamps 

00:00 – 01:20 | Hidden Messages Are Everywhere
01:20 – 02:43 | Teaching Kids to See Value Beyond Looks
02:43 – 04:42 | Reducing People to Appearances
04:42 – 08:09 | Respect Starts at Home
08:09 – 09:47 | A Friend’s Dating Frustration
09:47 – 12:18 | Boys, Teasing, and Early Lessons in Respect
12:18 – 15:25 | Is Respect Instinctive or Taught?
15:25 – 17:33 | Setting Boundaries for Sons
17:33 – 20:21 | Listen When Women Speak
20:21 – End | Raising Sons Who Honor Future Wives

APD Pro Move:
Challenge your son(s) to talk to a girl he knows and ask her if she feels respected by boys. Encourage him to listen and respond kindly.

Listen Again:

Episode 99 – Should Dads Be Worried About the Manosphere?

4 Boy Stereotypes to Dispel For Your Son

5 Ways to

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We've all been there. Your kids are fighting AGAIN—this time over something even more frustrating than earlier today. The noise and sour feelings leave you wondering if there will ever be peace in your home. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about the understandable reasons kids fail to get along and pitch ideas to fix it.

Why This Matters
Kids who get along now are more likely to stay friends as adults. 

Kids Don’t Get Along Because…

·      They both want the same thing

·      They think it's not fair

·      They have different personalities

·      They're at different ages

·      They haven't learned how to share or solve problems

Practical Tips for Dads

1: Get proactive.

Model how to act during conflict, celebrate their strengths, make sure everyone gets “dad time,” talk about how to get along during calm moments, compliment them when they are getting along, and beware of how life events can impact behavior. 

2: Get involved.

Inject yourself when you need to, but stay calm, take breaks to avoid saying things you don’t mean, attack them problem (not them), and find solutions together. 

3: Know when it is time to seek help.

Sometimes, constant conflict requires professional help. Seek counsel if there is physical abuse in your home. 

Important Episode Timestamps
00:00 – 01:13 | Why Sibling Relationships Matter So Much

01:13 – 02:35 | When “Horseplay” Crosses the Line

02:35 – 03:09 | Every Family Deals With It

03:09 – 05:04 | Why Kids Don’t Get Along

05:04 – 07:15 | The Age Gap Struggle

07:15 – 08:46 | Rejection Hurts Most at Home

08:46 – 10:06 | Step 1: Model Healthy Conflict

10:06 – 12:04 | Step 2: Create “Me and Dad” Time

12:04 – 16:10 | Step 3: Teach Through Calm Moments

16:10 – End | Step 4: Know When to Get Help

APD Pro Move:
Create a family rule or motto for how you plan to treat each other.

All Pro Dad Resources

10 Ways to Curb Sibling Rivalry

How to Stop Backseat Bickering

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Ever tried to have a quiet conversation with your wife while a toddler was around? Good luck. We love kids, but they sure can get in the way sometimes. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about the threats parenting presents to marriage. 

Why This Matters

Marriages change after you have kids. Men must prioritize their relationship with their wives in order to weather the challenges that parenting presents. 

Common Threats to Marriage After Becoming a Dad

·      Exhaustion: Kids wear us out physically, emotionally, and mentally. That impacts your marriage. 

·      New areas of conflict: Arguments can get us thinking “me” not “we.”

·      Losing sight of each other: Don’t live like roommates. Set aside intentional time to connect with your wife. 

·      Mis-ordered priorities: Our wives’ needs should always come before kids’. 

·      Forgetting you’re a team: Work together with your wife to raise kids well. 

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 02:03 | Anniversary Plans Gone Wrong
02:03 – 05:15 | When Kids Interrupt Everything
05:15 – 07:02 | Life Before and After Kids
07:02 – 09:20 | The Big Question: What Threats Do Kids Bring to Marriage?
09:20 – 13:31 | Threat #1: Exhaustion
13:31 – 17:12 | The Power of Prioritizing Date Night
17:12 – 22:13 | Threat #2: New Arenas for Conflict
22:13 – 26:33 | Threat #3: Living Like Roommates
26:33 – 33:15 | Threat #4: Misordered Priorities
33:15 – End | Pro Move of the Week: Put your wife first this week. Plan a date. Schedule quiet time together. Remind her that she is your top priority.

All Pro Dad Resources:

Episode 70 – What Do Happily Married Couples Think About?

Episode 48 – How Do I Overcome Challenges in My Marriage?

5 Threats Parenting Presents to Marriage

5 Barriers to Fun in Your Marriage

9 Ways to

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“Money doesn’t grow on trees! Pull my finger!” Some dad phrases are goofy. But others? They can be quite hurtful, even if we don’t mean for them to be. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about common phrases we need to cut out.

Why This Matters
Words aren’t neutral with our kids. They are either helpful or hurtful.

Phrases That Make Kids Feel Small and Unheard

1. "Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about."
Instead, try: "It's okay to feel sad/frustrated/scared. Tell me what's going on." 

2. “What’s wrong with you?”
Instead, try: "That choice wasn't like you. Help me understand what happened. 

Phrases That Can Hurt Our Connection With Our Kids

3. "When I was your age…"
Instead, try: "You are growing up in a different world than I did.  Explain it to me like I’m a martian. 

4. “You are making me crazy.”
Instead, try: "I’m feeling really frustrated right now. I need a minute, and then we can talk about.” 

Phrases That Can Mess Up How Our Kids See Authority and Even God

5. "Because I said so."
Instead, try: "Focus on natural consequences and clear boundaries: "If you don't pick up your toys, they'll be put away for a week."

6. “I’m disappointed in you.”
Instead, try: "I'm disappointed with that choice you made, and I know you can do better."

Important Episode Timestamps 

00:00 – 02:36 | Dad Phrases We All Say
02:36 – 04:09 | Southern Sayings and Dad Humor
04:09 – 05:08 | The Big Question: What Should Dads Stop Saying?
05:08 – 08:52 | “Stop Crying or I’ll Give You Something to Cry About”
08:52 – 10:00 | “What’s Wrong with You?” and “What Were You Thinking?”
10:00 – 13:05 | “When I Was Your Age” and “You’re Making Me Crazy”
13:05 – 17:52 | “Because I Said So” and the Problem with Authority
17:52 – End | “I’m Disappointed in You” and the Weight of Words

APD Pro Move:
This week, before you correct, question, or even joke with your child, pause for just one second and ask yourself, 'Is what I'm about to say hurtful or helpful for my kid?

All Pro Dad Resources:

Episode 61 – What Prob

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If your son has a TikTok or Instagram account, he’s likely aware of the manosphere. Even if he’s off social media, his friends probably aren’t. The world of hyper masculine, misogynistic, anti-feminist content is becoming increasingly popular with young men, but why? In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about the dangerous content of the manosphere and how it’s resonating with boys and young men.

Why This Matters
There’s nothing beneficial about the manosphere, so we should learn how to help our family avoid its poison. 

What Do Most Boys Want?
Kids, especially boys, are asking themselves these questions:

1. “Who am I?”
Boys are looking for identity.

2. “Where do I belong?”
Boys want to fit in.

3. “How do I influence the world?”
Boys are looking to leave their mark. 

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 02:03 | What Is the Manosphere?
The hosts define key terms and unpack how online communities shape men’s beliefs about masculinity.

02:03 – 04:11 | The Good, the Bad, and the Confusing
The dads tackle the mixed messages the manosphere sends.

04:11 – 06:32 | When Men Feel Unseen
Many men turn to the manosphere when they feel misunderstood by culture.

06:32 – 09:15 | Influencers and Echo Chambers
Certain voices online gain power by amplifying anger and oversimplifying manhood.

09:15 – 12:05 | Real Strength vs. Online Posturing
Authentic masculinity is marked by service and humility.

12:05 – 15:12 | Why Young Men Are Vulnerable
Loneliness, fatherlessness, and social media pull teens into toxic content.

15:12 – 18:37 | Calling Dads to Engage
Fathers must teach boys what real manhood looks like.

18:37 – 22:43 | Modeling Healthy Masculinity
The dads share stories and practical ways to show strength through gentleness and integrity.

22:43 – End | Pro Move: “Ask your son who he is following on social media. Ask him if he’s heard of the manosphere, incels, and “red pills” and find out what he thinks about it.”

All Pro Dad Resources

5 Ways We Want Our Sons to Rethink Manhood

5 Destructive Messages We Send Our Sons

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