An Evolving Man Podcast

How do leaders behave when pressure rises?

In this episode, Piers Cross explores how stress reveals the underlying conditioning that shapes leadership behaviour.

Drawing on leadership research and psychology, the conversation looks at how many leaders unconsciously revert to learned survival strategies under pressure — particularly those who grew up in highly structured or emotionally restrictive environments.

When stress rises, leaders may shift into command-and-control behaviour, emotional suppression, or over-dominant communication. But research shows that emotional states are contagious. Anxiety, fear, and tension can spread through teams via subtle physiological signals.

This episode explores:

• how pressure reveals unconscious leadership patterns
 • the impact of childhood conditioning on leadership behaviour
 • why emotional suppression spreads stress through organisations
 • how emotional intelligence helps regulate pressure
 • practical strategies for developing calmer leadership

Drawing on insights from Daniel Goleman, Emma Seppälä, Nick Duffell, and Michael Bungay Stanier, this conversation explores how leaders can shift from reactive stress responses to emotionally intelligent leadership.

Website:
 https://compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast:
 An Evolving Man

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Piers Cross speaks with leadership coach and former professional footballer Matt Young about identity, emotional intelligence, and sustainable performance.

After eight years in elite sport, Matt’s career ended abruptly. Without football, he was forced to confront anxiety, self-doubt, and a deeper fear many high achievers recognise — not being good enough beneath the role. That painful period led him into the work he now does with executives, business owners, and performers.

Together, Piers and Matt explore why high performers often rely on pressure and identity to cope, how the inner critic drives overachievement, and why lasting leadership starts with internal awareness rather than external control.

The conversation also covers the drama triangle, emotional ownership, and the difference between mental toughness and emotional intelligence.

This episode is particularly relevant for leaders who appear strong outwardly but feel unsettled inwardly — and want a healthier way to lead.

Guest: Matt Young
https://www.mattyounglc.com/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this episode, Piers Cross explores the psychological impact of a child’s first night at boarding school and why it often becomes a lifelong emotional imprint.

Drawing on accounts from Richard Branson, Sebastian Faulks, and Peter Sykes, we examine what happens when children are separated from their families at a young age. Many remember intense fear, others remember nothing at all — a sign of dissociation.

Psychotherapist Joy Schaverien describes this moment as a “threshold experience.” It is not simple homesickness. It is a sudden loss of attachment figures, familiarity, identity, and safety.

This episode discusses:
 • separation and attachment
 • dissociation in childhood
 • why some memories are vivid and others blank
 • adult relationship difficulties
 • emotional disconnection in high achievers

Many adults who attended boarding school later become capable, resilient, and successful — yet struggle with intimacy, vulnerability, and feeling truly at home.

Understanding the beginning helps explain the adult patterns.

Website: https://compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast: An Evolving Man

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 In this episode, Piers Cross is joined by Jane Barclay, a humanistic psychology practitioner, UKCP-accredited, and a member of the BACP.

Jane shares her journey into counselling and trauma work — beginning with a major life move, a profound sense of disorientation, and what she later recognised as a traumatic reaction to separation. Her story moves into the heart of boarding school experience: early attachment rupture, lack of privacy, “settling in” as dissociation, and the survival strategies that can last for decades.

Together, Piers and Jane explore how trauma can speak through the body, why “it could have been worse” is such a seductive defence, and why healing often requires both trustworthy relationship and the repair of community. Jane also shares her late-blooming creativity — writing songs, developing a children’s musical, and using rhythm and story to support safeguarding, truth-telling, and the restoration of the heart.

Guest: Jane Barclay
Website: http://jbcounselling.co.uk/

Key themes:
Attachment and early separation • Boarding school trauma • Somatic trauma • Dissociation and the “carapace” • Trust and relational repair • Community as healing • Eldership • Creativity and rhythm as medicine

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Many leaders and high performers live as if they are unable to stop.

In this episode, Piers Cross explores the long-term psychological effects of boarding school timetabling and how it conditions the nervous system to equate busyness with safety.

Children raised in highly structured environments learn to stay constantly active. Stillness becomes uncomfortable — even threatening. As adults this often becomes overwork, productivity addiction, relationship difficulty, and eventually burnout.

Drawing on the work of psychotherapist Nick Duffell, performance science, and emotional intelligence leadership, Piers explains why former boarders — and many driven professionals — feel trapped in a cycle of constant doing.

This episode covers:
 • timetabling and psychological conditioning
 • why rest triggers anxiety
 • burnout in leaders and executives
 • the nervous system and safety
 • a simple visualisation exercise to retrain the body

The goal isn’t to stop achieving.

It’s to learn when to step off the train.

Website: https://compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast: An Evolving Man

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 What does boarding school shame do to a child’s nervous system — especially when it’s wrapped in privilege, silence, and “you should be grateful”? 

In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Jessica Boston — trauma-informed transformation coach and creator of The Homecoming Method (a somatic approach integrating subconscious reprogramming, nervous-system safety, and reparenting). 

Together we explore how shame forms in boarding school environments through: 

👉Constant scrutiny, punishment, and “not enough” 

👉Bullying, ostracism, and social exclusion (including a year of silence) 

👉Loss of privacy and chronic hypervigilance 

👉The deep guilt of speaking up: “Don’t tell. Don’t be ungrateful.” 

Jessica shares candidly about her own boarding school experience, how shame distorts perception (“others had it worse”), and why survival often looks like compliance, rebellion, or shutdown. 

We also explore the long tail: perfectionism, difficulty trusting yourself, decision paralysis, and the feeling of being “other” even in a room full of people. 

We end with practical pathways forward, including: 

👉 Recognising shame patterns and language 

👉 Re-educating the subconscious

👉 Shifting from external validation (ELOC) to inner authority (ILOC) 

👉 Rebuilding self-trust through embodiment and reparenting Jessica’s work: 

Website: https://www.jessicaboston.com/ Book: Homecoming Meditations (a guided, room-by-room approach to reconnecting with intuition, boundaries, compassion, and celebration) 

If you’re an ex-boarder — or you grew up in any high-shame environment — this conversation will likely land. 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

One year on from my wife, Michelle's death.

What are some reflections? 

What are 3 things that have really helped me?

Here is the interview with her: https://youtu.be/fKs1A_4xw7A

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Dr. Amy Albright, an expert in human potential who bridges neuroscience, health, business strategy, and spirituality with rare depth and academic rigour.

We go deep into a theme that affects so many leaders — especially those shaped by early separation, boarding school, adoption, or childhood trauma: safety.

Amy explains why safety is not a motivational slogan. It’s a measurable state in the nervous system. When safety is missing, we overthink, disconnect from emotion, struggle with intimacy and leadership, and often reach for relief through work, alcohol, or constant striving. When safety is restored, intuition returns, relationships improve, and performance becomes far more sustainable.

This is a powerful, practical conversation about rebuilding biological safety, restoring embodiment, and integrating science with the sacred without drifting into pseudoscience.

We discuss:

• Why safety is a continuum, not a single achievement
• The leadership cost of chronic fight/flight and emotional shutdown
• Trauma patterns behind addiction (including workaholism)
• Nature and water as nervous-system regulators
• Why meditation can feel hard after trauma (and what helps)
• Embodiment, intuition, and the intelligence of the body
• A larger frame: meaning, miracles, and living in a “friendly universe”

Find Dr. Amy’s work and resources at: holonexperience.com
(Free download mentioned in the episode is available there.)

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What happens to a child’s nervous system when safety is missing — not for a moment, but for years?

In this episode, Piers reflects on safety and boarding school, exploring how chronic fear, hypervigilance, and emotional suppression shape the adult nervous system long after school ends.

Drawing from lived experience, trauma psychology, and insights from neuroscientist Dr. Amy Albright, this conversation looks at:
 • Why many ex-boarders struggle to relax
 • How survival personalities form in unsafe environments
 • The link between safety, digestion, and emotional regulation
 • Why dissociation becomes a learned survival strategy
 • How healing begins by restoring safety in the body

The episode also offers simple, accessible practices to help calm the nervous system and reconnect with embodied safety — including memory, posture, breath, and imagination.

This is a compassionate, non-blaming exploration for anyone who grew up in boarding school and still feels guarded, tense, or disconnected.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Masati, CEO and founder of Exponential Intelligence Science (XI). After multiple near-death experiences, Masati devoted his life to understanding human potential beyond conventional performance psychology—exploring coherence, consciousness, and what creates real, measurable change.

We begin with Masati’s personal story: a life-threatening accident in his mid-20s, the profound “life relive” experience many describe as a life review, and what shifted in his perception when he returned. We then explore why many high performers—particularly those with childhood trauma—build success through a hidden internal equation: using achievement to stabilise an inner wound.

This is a wide-ranging conversation on leadership, trauma, identity, and presence—including a practical exercise to reconnect with the body and reduce overthinking.

Topics include:

• Near-death experiences and expanded perception
• Trauma, success, and the hidden cost of “proving yourself”
• Why performance doesn’t heal the original wound
• Coherence vs. mindset
• Spatial referencing as a daily stabilising practice
• Presence, happiness, and aligning with your highest potential

If you’re a leader, ex-boarder, or high performer exploring deeper healing and sustainable success, this one is for you.

#NearDeathExperience

#TraumaHealing

#HumanPotential

#Consciousness

#NervousSystem

#Leadership

#Meditation

#SomaticHealing

 For more information please visit: https://thexicode.com/ 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/