Kids learn at a very early age that if they get angry and act out—or threaten to do so—the people around them will give in. In effect, they’ve learned how to blackmail their parents to give them what they want. A child who uses anger with an angle looks like they’re losing control. But in reality, they’re using anger to gain control of their parents and the situation. The anger gets them what they want, whether it’s a candy bar at the store or avoiding homework and chores at home.