Answers For Elders Radio Network

Family members may spot changes in how a senior loved one starts behaving. Some are natural for age progression, while others could mean that they might need medical care or assistance. Aging life care professional Lisa Mayfield, CEO and founder of Aging Wisdom, joins Suzanne to list some of the top signs of uncharacteristic behaviors to keep in kind when visiting senior loved ones.

1) Changes in mail management: You'll see mail start piling up on the table. "When your memory is changing, you can't look through mail and [tell junk mail from] the electric bill. So the mail just piles up. They may not be paying their bills, they may be behind in their credit card or their electricity."

2) Changes in appearance. "Maybe your mom was just meticulously dressed all the time. Always had her lipstick on. Her hair was perfect. And you're just starting to notice that she's wearing that same shirt each time you visit, it's starting to have stains on it. Maybe her hair just isn't quite as nice as it used to be."

3) Repeating stories. Mom becomes confused about appointments, and starts repeating questions she asked two minutes ago.

4) Forgetting to take medication. "You're noticing that they aren't taking their medications, their pill bottles haven't changed. You're just noticing confusion with medications."

5) Changes in initiative. "There's lack of initiative when people's memory is changing. People just end up not doing much. You'll find your dad sitting on his recliner hour after hour and he seems perfectly content, where he used to be out playing with the car, mowing the grass, or playing golf."

For more signs that your parent may need help, get the resource guide at https://agingwisdom.com/

Aging Life Care Association
Aging Wisdom website
More podcasts with Lisa Mayfield

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lisa Mayfield, CEO and founder of Aging Wisdom, joins Suzanne to talk about how aging life care professionals consult with individuals and families who are navigating changes in health and memory.

Lisa says, "The main thing we're doing with people that are planning ahead is teaching them the lay of the land. What does it look like if you stay at home, what's available? What do those resources look like? What does it cost? Where do you find those people? And then if you were to move, what's assisted living, what's memory care? What's a continuing care retirement community? Helping people understand here are all your options. Here's how they're different. Here's why you might pick one or the other. And then, most importantly, being able to strategize with people based on their own situation, which typically relates to their finances. What financial resources does this couple have for their future planning? And based on that, we can help them create plans that are realistic and sustainable financially."

Lisa adds, "I met with this couple 10 years ago, and they were 70 at the time. They had just retired and they were wanting to meet with me, asking: what should we be thinking about? At that point in time, the most important priority was getting their legal documents together, making sure they've done their power of attorney documents, and their advance directives. So they felt better. We made that connection. I heard from them five years later, and that point it was more, 'Okay, we know we want to stay home, but let's tour some retirement communities just so we see what they're like.' And so I identified a few and they toured, and they went on their way saying, 'We feel better. We've done some planning.' 

"I just heard from them recently, and they're now 80. The husband was just diagnosed with dementia. So this story is helpful, because they were planning, they've been planning for 10 years. They had this relationship with me. So when that sort of change had happened, they knew who to call. We had a relationship, they could connect. Now it was much more real: what do we do now with this diagnosis? ... And really the big question is, do they want to stay at home or do they want to think about moving?"

Aging Life Care Association
Aging Wisdom website
More podcasts with Lisa Mayfield

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Geriatric care managers are essential advocates for navigating the path for senior loved ones with medical or mobility challenges. A geriatric care manager or aging life care professional consults with individuals and families who are navigating changes in health and memory. People are doing this work across the country to help navigate the complicated, overwhelming, confusing system that is long term care choices and memory changes, and what do people do while amid these changes. Lisa Mayfield, CEO and founder of Aging Wisdom, joins Suzanne to talk about how these consultants advocate for loved ones during these crossroads and transitions.

Suzanne says, "When I was navigating that world as a daughter, way back when, I listened a lot to my mom about what she wanted. And although there was a little voice in the back of my head saying this is probably not the right fit, I didn't have the toolbox to be able to guide her. So what ended up happening, I ended up moving my mother four times. And that is heartbreaking, because had I made the right decision in advance, she would have not had to move. I didn't know what I didn't know, and had I hired somebody like you, I can imagine my world would have been so much easier for on me as well as on her."

Lisa Mayfield says, "Once we're hired by the family to be their advocate, we're looking out for your best interest. Geriatric care managers are part of a professional association. We're certified, many are licensed and have master's degrees. We have a code of ethics, and so we don't take referral fees. So what that means is: when we're making recommendations to families, we're not getting anything back for making those referrals. We're not selling anything. And so we can really be an unbiased person to make recommendations, which I think is really important, that's hard to find in this industry as a neutral person to help you navigate."

Aging Life Care Association
Aging Wisdom website
More podcasts with Lisa Mayfield

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As you're listening, or watching on YouTube, sit up straight because we're going to talk about posture. Posture plays into overall health and our digestive system. It also lifts us up right, both emotionally and physically, there's so many things that posture plays into overall health. Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne to talk about how good posture can improve our health, particularly as we age.

Dr. Shawn says, "If you look at people over 70 you might see the effects. Maybe they're slouched over, they're significantly rounded over. It takes years to get that way. That's why it's so important  to start looking at your posture now. Spinal alignment – when you have good posture, then you're maintaining those natural curves of the spine. Sit up, have your hips square, put your feet on the ground. Maintaining spinal alignment is super, super important. If your spine is aligned, then your muscles are balanced. If you are somebody that sits on your couch, and you're leaning over all the time, and you've got one leg underneath you, and you do that all the time for years, it's going to have an effect on your structure. Keping your muscles balanced is super important because that's preventing pain, that's preventing injury. We want those muscles to be strong and working for you.

"So spinal alignment, muscle balance. The other big thing is breathing. The easiest way to explain that is if you are getting a little bit more rounded when you sit. What happens when you start getting more rounded is that is closing up your chest wall. All of those muscles are going to get tight. You're not getting good lung expansion. When you start to breathe in, you're not able to get full capacity and get good air exchange.

"As we get older as we start slouching more, we start seeing all of these muscles get tight, and then the muscles in the back get overly stretched. So they become weak. It's super important from a breathing standpoint that we're able to get good air exchange. I work with people that have COPD, that are on oxygen, or have other pulmonary issues. One of the first things I'm working on with them is posture to maximize airflow."

Learn more

• Dr. Shawn Weiss
• Senior Health and Wellness website
• More podcasts about physical wellness
• More podcasts with Dr. Shawn Weiss

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As we age, sometimes we forget about a very important aspect of our health: our oral health. Once we get in our fifties and sixties, some of us think, it is what it is. It's expensive; senior on fixed incomes put tooth care last. But as we age, our teeth need more attention. Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne to talk about how oral health factors into overall health.

Dr. Shawn says, "Your mouth has its own kind of ecosystem and it really does affect your overall health. It's kind of the start of the whole gut canal, and there's a lot of indicators for that. People might be grossed out by this, but your mouth has over 800 types of bacteria, viruses, parasites, things like that. Some of them are beneficial, and you want to eliminate the ones  that shouldn't be there.

"When you're looking at gut health, there's such a connection with gut health and oral health. Be mindful of that, outside of regular dentistry. When you get your teeth cleaned, you're trying to prevent gum disease and some people might have dentures as they get older, and you're trying to prevent tooth decay. But there's so much more to it. There's a lot of indicators that we can study in your mouth that are predictive of your overall health."

Learn more

• Dr. Shawn Weiss
• Senior Health and Wellness website
• More podcasts about physical wellness
• More podcasts with Dr. Shawn Weiss

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Practical takeaways from global studies aim to reduce our risk for developing Alzheimer's and dementia. Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne to talk more how to apply these recommendations to our everyday lives. One 20-week lifestyle plan was developed by the Lancet Commission on Dementia Prevention Intervention and Care. The plan has four components that focus on diet, exercise, stress management, and support groups.

There's a 30% lower risk of developing cognitive impairment by changing to whole foods, lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, legumes, seeds and nuts. Break down the diet to 14% total fat, 16%-18% protein, 63-68% complex carbohydrates. A Mediterranean diet checks all the boxes: a lot of fish, a lot of nuts. Hydration is also important.

30 minutes of walking per day, even broken into chunks, is the best overall exercise you can do. Strength and resistance training three times per week is essential, even if you're just lifting soup cans from the pantry. Other whole exercises, such as stretching, flexibility, meditation, in a home exercise program is recommended.

Dr. Weiss says, "The last two things were: one, stress management and meditation, yoga, flexibility exercises, breathing strategies. And then the last one was the support groups, and they broke those support groups down into three times per week and they exercise together. They did stretch management techniques, they did straight support group talks, and lectures and education in those three times a week. At Senior Health and wellness.org, you can find some great information and other videos that I've done."

Learn more

• Lancet Commission 2020 report
• Shawn Weiss
• Senior Health and Wellness website
• More podcasts about physical wellness
• More podcasts with Dr. Shawn Weiss
• More podcasts about dementia

Get a free guide for cognitive impairment strategies.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne to talk about Alzheimer's and dementia studies with an eye towards prevention. She discusses the FINGER survey (Finnish Geriatric Intervention Study to Prevent Cognitive Impairment and Disability) and ongoing global studies that study 12 modifiable risk factors: hypertension, smoking, type-2 diabetes, obesity, social isolation, alcohol, lessened cognitive activity, lower education levels, hearing loss, head injuries, lifestyle (physical activity and exercise), and air pollution.

The Lancet Commission on Dementia Prevention Intervention and Care developed a 20-week lifestyle plan addressing the 12 risk factors. Broken down into four components, they involve 1) Modifying diet and nutrition; 2) Exercise routines; 3) Stress management; and 4) Support groups (having people interact on your team).

Learn more

• FINGER study
• Lancet Commission 2020 report
• Shawn Weiss
• Senior Health and Wellness website
• More podcasts about physical wellness
• More podcasts with Dr. Shawn Weiss
• More podcasts about dementia

Get a free guide for cognitive impairment strategies.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How can families be supportive during a senior loved one's downsizing to senior living, and when is it time for Mom to let professionals take over? Rebecca Bomann, CEO of SASH Services (Sell a Senior's Home), joins Suzanne to advise families during downsizing. Sometime families help, and sometimes they get in the way and make it more complicated than it needs to be. Her three tips: Let mom take ownership of the move; let professionals be the bad guy; and validate mom's emotional journey.

Let mom take ownership of the move. Rebecca says, "I really believe strongly that the more the senior gets to make their own decisions in the sale, the more it's done on their terms and on their timeline, even if it's not convenient for the family. They'll feel a sense of ownership, that I did this when I was ready, I did this My Way like Frank Sinatra says. I encourage families: let your parents decide, give them options to choose from, and respect the timeline they're on, because they will arrive at their timeline. Sometimes it's longer, sometimes it's shorter. Sometimes it takes a crisis, but just give them the autonomy and the agency to decide when they want to do it and how they want to do it. It's hard for family, especially when there's a lot going on. But it's so powerful for the senior to experience."

Let professionals be the bad guy. "When should family step back? Professionals come in, they're detached from the home emotionally. They're there to do their job, and they're experienced and trained in taking care of seniors, and they won't get as frustrated with mom or dad that they want to take, you know, 11 lamps to their new apartment. So let them be the bad guy. Let the downsizer and the mover and the placement advisor and the senior care professionals, let them be the person giving the guidance. So you can just be the son, you can just be the daughter, in a supportive and loving place, letting your parent have this journey on their terms."

Validate mom's emotional journey. "Another thing really is just validating and respecting the emotions that the parent is going through. There's going to be the denial and the grief that they're feeling about leaving the home, and the sadness about the memories. I would never say, 'you know, mom, at least you have a place to move to mom. At least you have money in the bank.' Just say, ' it's so understandable to be sad right now. And this is really hard, dad,' and just validate the place they're coming from, because they're still a person and they have agency. Validating their feelings and letting them have permission to grieve, and go through that emotional journey, makes it such a better landing on the other side."

• Hear more podcasts with Rebecca Bomann on Answers for Elders.
• SASH Services overview at AFE
• Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What are the obstacles to downsizing, and how can we get past them? Rebecca Bomann, CEO of SASH Services (Sell a Senior's Home), joins Suzanne to address obstacles people face as well as their solutions.

Rebecca says, "I've sat in hundreds and hundreds of living rooms over the years that I've been providing these services, and my clients articulate to me why they don't feel like they can move even though they really want to or need to.

"One of them, and this is kind of a misperception, is they have the physical limitation of not being able to sort and pack their whole home. Of the hundreds and hundreds of clients that we've assisted, only two of my clients actually did their own packing. Everyone else had a team of helpers, professionals downsizers, people to come in and help sort and pack. My dream is that someone can sit in their recliner with their favorite beverage, and they're just making decisions. 'I don't want that. I do want that,' and they have professionals help them with that process. No one should ever feel like they can't move because they have to physically do the work. Bring people in, you deserve that kind of help. There's a great network of what's called senior move managers around the country. Just go to their website, type in your zip code, and see who's near you. And that website is https://www.nasmm.org/, the National Association of Senior Move Managers. It's a great resource. 

"Another obstacle is they feel like they can't really get through it, because they don't have family living close by that can help them through the process. Families are scattered all over the country and the world these days, they very rarely all live on the same block, and they think, 'I'll never get through this. My family's all out of the state, or on the other side of the country.' And I always say, 'Bring in the professionals. You actually can have a very low-stress, very supported, very easy move because you've got a team of people helping you, whether your family can be there or not. And it's sometimes a blessing if your family can't help. Because they will sometimes come in with their emotions, their attachment to the home, competition between them, fighting over heirlooms, or they can only give you an hour a week for six months. Don't feel bad at all if your family can't help, it's probably a good thing. 

"One more obstacle is feeling like people have limited resources to pay for the sorting, and packing, and emptying out of their home. They think, 'Well, I don't have the $5,000, $7,000, or $9,000 to be able to pay all these people to come and help me. So I guess I'm stuck.' There's so many ways that this can be paid for. A lot of senior living communities actually provide assistance with this. They have incentives, they give financial credits, or they have their own moving services. The other thing that we've seen many time is that the selling of valuables in the home will actually pay for all of the labor and professionals to come and help you in the home. So if you've got lunch boxes from the 1960s in your attic, an amazing a collection of antique furniture, or World War II paraphernalia in the basement, collectors all over the country are looking for these things. They will pay good money. You can have an online auction with professionals who'll manage it for you. I've seen online auctions make $10,000, $13,000, $18,000 for a client. And then they have plenty of money to pay for their move and don't have to dip into other resources."

• Hear more podcasts with Rebecca Bomann on Answers for Elders.
• SASH Services overview at AFE
• National Association of Senior Move Managers
• Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rebecca Bomann, CEO of SASH Services (Sell a Senior's Home), joins Suzanne to talk about various options for downsizing and moving, including for those 55 and up, as well as the emotional journey of leaving the family home.

Rebecca says, "Happily, there's so many options out there for seniors who are looking to downsize from their home, more and more living options, a greater variety of pricing options for people, amenities, activities. They're allowing pets more in these communities. There's a lot of open doors and opportunities. So it doesn't feel like clients are looking at kind of a barren landscape of where to go. There's a rich buffet of opportunity and options where people can live.

"They allow guest stays at many of these. Instead of just doing one tour and feeling like you have to make a decision, people can go and stay for a weekend as a guest. Take it for a test drive. See what it's like in the dining room, meet new people in the hallway. If they don't like it, they can keep looking. It's a risk-free way to have a good sense of that community.

"The younger boomers and the folks that are just starting to search, they don't want all of the work of a giant home and property to take care of, and they're looking at a senior living community as a quality of life choice. We're gonna have less to take care of, more amenities, a heated pool, a clubhouse, people to talk to, social events, and we want to start this fun phase in our life. We don't want to put it off forever while we hang on to this big house that we don't need anymore. We don't need a big 3,000 square foot home."

Rebecca adds, "I feel like the emotional journey of leaving the family home is actually bigger than the physical part of listing it and selling it. I always say to my clients, 'The listing of your home at the end of this journey, and putting it on the market and selling it is about 10% of all that we're going to do here together. We have the sorting and downsizing of household items. Saying goodbye to things that folks are attached to, having family come and pick out the things that they want to take, doing an auction or an estate sale, saying goodbye to the home, and all of those feelings that people feel about the home. I feel like sometimes they're a little bit embarrassed to feel grief about leaving their home. And my personal belief is that it's just like a family member. After 30, 40, 50, even 60 years, it is as familiar and comfortable and home and warm as a family member. And so leaving that home is like losing a family member and there needs to be grief."

If you're in the state of Washington, call SASH Services at 888-400-7274 or visit https://www.sashservices.com/. Outside of Washington, check out the national association of senior move managers at NASMM.com.

• Hear more podcasts with Rebecca Bomann on Answers for Elders.
• SASH Services overview at AFE
• Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.