Answers For Elders Radio Network

Courtesy of Era Living, Emily Jones, executive director of NEST – North East Seattle Together, joins Suzanne to talk about connections. NEST is a virtual community connecting members with each other and with resources to age successfully in the place they call home. It's a 501(c)(3) non-profit grassroots community founded in 2009. NEST makes it easier for people to connect in the ways that they want to connect, whether for social activities or a hand around the house.

Emily says, "NEST stands for North East Seattle Together. It's a grassroots organization that was founded in 2009 by a group of neighbors who were interested in staying where they lived, and they didn't want something like an achy lower back or arthritic hands to keep them from living in their homes. And so they realized that, through a neighbor network, they would be able to support each other. So if they needed weeds pulled, they could ask a neighbor to do it, or take the garbage out to the curb. There was a movement that began in the Boston area for virtual villages. And the idea was to create a network of neighbors who wanted to support each other through the transitions of aging. And so the movement came over here to the west coast, and we are the oldest virtual village in the Seattle area. There are six now in the greater Seattle area."

Emily adds, "NEST began a sponsorship program in 2015, and Era Living was one of our very first platinum sponsors. They have been loyal and incredible partners with us since then. And they've helped us in a whole variety of ways, from sponsoring programs and events, but also in ways that help us celebrate our members and our volunteers. Right now, we have a speaker series going on about creating connections. And this month's focus is on finding connections to the holidays. So they bring in speakers that are of interest to our members and the general community. And then we also actually are holding a fall prevention workshop at Aljoya Thornton Place of their locations as well. So we bring some of our activities to them and they help bring some activities and events to us as well and to our members."

Learn more:
* NEST: https://nestseattle.clubexpress.com
* Era Living's website: https://www.eraliving.com/

Hear more podcasts about Era Living at Answers for Elders, including conversations with other residents, at Answers for Elders: https://answersforelders.com/era-living/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flanna says, "A lot of people don't know really what home care services are, and sometimes they get kind of mixed up with home health. Home care services are non-medical services that we provide to people in their home, and we call them activities of daily living. So that's like hygiene dressing, taking a shower, moving around your home, maybe bed mobility, repositioning, things like that. And home health is actually services provided by a licensed practical or registered nurse that are medical in nature, like wound care care, they might come in and provide one type of task. And so the type of services we provide are the first ones I described, which are the home care services. So it really can range, and every client has different care needs.

"We provide supervision support for someone who is mobile, they can move around their home, they can still feed themselves, but we're there to do coaching, queuing, make sure they take their medication, help them with some hygiene, meal preparation, all the way – the full spectrum – to someone who might be quadriplegic, who really is on a caregiver to provide every single activity of daily living for them, helping them prepare and set up everything for meals, feeding them, and all of those supports.

"That's really the gamut of kind of home care is, and really intended to be an hourly service. So we can come in for one-hour visits all the way up to live-in support, what we call 24/7 care, where we're providing 24/7 awake care for clients. And so we provide the full range of service, which is really great for families because you could be the informal caregiver and take Saturday and Sunday off. The home care agency can provide two 12-hour shifts on Saturdays and Sundays, and really just give you the weekend back essentially. Or it could be just a morning routine, or evening routine, or even providing supports during the day while the informal caregiver's at work. So it runs the full kind of spectrum of care needs. And we also do medical escort, grocery shopping, activities like errands and the park. For private pay clients, they need to go to the casino, we'll take them. Lots of different things that people like to do, we can make sure that they still have integration in the community."

Learn more:
* Fedelta: https://fedeltahomecare.com/

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flanna Perkins, CEO of Fedelta Home Care in Seattle & Portland, Oregon, joins Suzanne to talk about caregivers getting extra assistance from home care, a wonderful way to improve the lives of both the caregiver and the senior.

Suzanne says, "A caregiver isn't supposed to be a sacrificial lamb. They are supposed to be an advocate, and I think that's a mind shift. It's an ability to understand that you're a facilitator, and it's still about your loved one's life. And I think that's one of the things that we forget. I know, I forgot that point while caregiving."

Flanna replies, "One thing I see a lot of times is that decision making leaves the client. If we stop trusting that our parent, for example, can make their own decisions and can live their own life. And there's this concept called 'dignity of risk.' And sometimes we don't give people that dignity to take their own risks. Your parent's health is declining, and you come in, and you really start dictating a lot of things. And to me that's when I see the relationship between the elderly person and their adult child take a turn for the worse. It's really important to allow the person who needs care, the ability to continue to make decisions for themselves, and have that independence. I think that by doing that, you end up having more trust with your parent, or whoever you care for, and understand what their wants and desires are.

"A lot of times we come in too late, very late in the process of the person's illness. And so now it's very difficult, because we're a stranger, and they don't know us, and we're coming in and providing a person that they don't know, and the person receiving care is scared and they're nervous. And so one of the big recommendations I have, and that's why I'm such a believer in respite care, is that when you start seeing that your loved one needs a little bit more care, needs a little bit more help, start home care a little bit sooner, with fewer hours. And [when you're] in a respite care-type situation, you'll then have things in a much better place when you need a little bit more care, and you can just kind of slowly increase care for that loved one, and it isn't such a whiplashing experience for them. So that's, that's one of my recommendations.

"When we come in and provide care, most times families are really relieved. It's really powerful. They just feel like they can just kind of like really go back to being the adult child."

Suzanne suggests, "Select a home care agency before you need them. Especially if someone's on Medicaid, they have to get approved. If you're aging in place at home, even if you don't need home care, get you yourself registered with one. Then if you have a fall, you need somebody, whatever it is, you don't have to go through a process. You can have somebody there that day. in many cases." Flanna agrees. "Every state has a lot of regulations around these services. It isn't just a matter of dispatching a caregiver into a home. There's a very kind of formal process that happens. When we see situations that are very stressful, [it's because] there's been a lot of delay in getting services started."

Learn more:
* Fedelta: https://fedeltahomecare.com/

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flanna Perkins, CEO of Fedelta Home Care in Seattle & Portland, Oregon, joins Suzanne to talk about caregivers getting extra assistance. Fedelta provides companionship care, respite care, post hospital care, daily living assistance, long-term care, end of life comfort & care, and personal care.

Flanna says, "There are two types of caregivers. There's what we would call the informal caregiver. Suzanne, you were the informal caregiver for your mother: you were providing care for her, it was unpaid, you were doing it because she was your mom, out of the kindness of your heart. And then there are the caregivers that our company hires, paid caregivers, people that come in and provide paid support for folks. And one thing that we see so often that happens is when people finally make it to us, a lot of times that informal caregiver is really burnt out, frustrated."

She adds, "And a lot of families feel guilt. They feel like they should be doing more for their loved one. They also feel like they shouldn't be asking for outside help at times, they should do it on their own. And really, when we come in, we're saying, 'Hey, where are the pain points for you? What are the places that are creating extra stress?' And we find those areas, and say, what if we just take these things off of your plate? We don't want to take everything away. That's not the goal for any professional that comes in, and provides care for additional assistance. But you know, it's pretty powerful when you get the full care team together to provide care. Kind of almost that kind of 'takes a village' concept, when you're providing care for a loved one. And a lot of times we don't really plan or understand what our end of life will look like or the end of life for our parents will look like. And it's really traumatizing. It's very hard, it's difficult, it's emotional. I mean, you know, even though I've worked in this field for my, pretty much my entire adult life, you know, we're all also experiencing it ourselves with our loved ones as well."

"This really amazing person answers all of our calls. Our home care supervisors are happy to come out, and we do phone screenings, and phone assessments for our clients. We can go to the home and provide a home visit. But most of the work we do, honestly, is in this space when we have an informal caregiver, and it's usually a son or a daughter, who is reaching a point in delivering care to their loved one that they just can't manage it independently any longer."

Learn more:
* Fedelta: https://fedeltahomecare.com/

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to talk more about her caregivers documentary. She describes where you can watch the movie, shares feedback she's gotten from various screenings, and updates us on the status of the film.

Kitty says, "We're finishing up the last of our film festivals this weekend. But because this is National Family Caregiver Month and this is our public roll out, we've got a lot of in-person screenings coming up. There's three in New Jersey later in the month. We have a one in Dallas at the very end of the month. We have one in Seattle at the very end of the month. Everybody should go to www.winewomenanddementia.com, see if it's playing in your area.

"This is not yet on the website, but it will be soon. I'm gonna have to pull the film back in December and really figure out 2024, but I wanted to make one big #thankful4caregivers weekend. So the film will be free Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, the weekend after Thanksgiving. And you can just log on to the link when I get it made, when I get it on the website, and view the film."

Regarding comments she's gotten, Kitty says, "One of the magical things for me about the film that I didn't expect is meeting the caregivers afterwards and being a part of their experience of seeing their journeys belong to the overall narrative of dementia, because we're not talked to very much. We're not asked very much what is happening. I didn't want people to thank me on this journey. What I wanted people to say was, how's your mom, and really mean it, and really want to hear. Like, 'oh, she's in memory care right now.' 'How's that going?' 'Ah, terrible.' You know, or, 'oh, she did this or this? What did you do?' And I was like, 'well, first I laughed hysterically, and then I cleaned the poop up.' Asking these questions and, and be interested, because there's a lot of interesting things that happen in dementia."

Learn more:
* Wine, Women, and Dementia: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/
* Kitty Norton: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/the-filmmakers

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to share three tips for caring for a loved one.

Kitty says, "Number one is community. And if people are disappearing on you in this dementia journey, on you and your dementia person, then go elsewhere, find them elsewhere. Get on the forums. Alzheimer's Association has a great forum, Alz Connect, our society in England has a great forum. A lot of support groups have gone permanently online now because of the pandemic. The daughterhood, they have support virtual support groups you can sign up for, see if you like the people in them, see if you see if it clicks with, just find people. Do not do this alone... My solution to not being able to join them for wine was to have a Zoom wine night. They might be together. We all might be on our laptops in our separate houses, and we just pour a glass of wine, and we'd still have our girls night out.

"Number two is creativity. This is a journey that you cannot sit in one solution for very long. So just be creative, don't say to yourself, 'I can't do this. My person won't go to day centers. That's never gonna be an option for us.' It may be an option later. They may be more progressed and it may be fine. In the meantime, figure out what you can do to get some of that time to yourself in a different way. You just have to be creative every day. Some of the most frustrating parts for me as a caregiver were real: We just solved that problem a month ago — a month ago we figured out a new way to get the meds in, and now that's not working. And I just wanna bash my head against a wall. Don't go there. Just open your mind up and think about how else to get it done. Everything, everything is an option in dementia.

"Number three is you're the expert. I think all of us start this journey thinking the people that we expect to have the answers, the medical community, are going to somehow be helpful. And while I think they're trying to catch up, they are not the expert. Do not put up with doctors who will not work with you, do not put up with doctors who are dismissive of you or your dementia person. Move on, go to someone else. When you have an issue, tell the doctors your solution is not going to work. Do you have another solution, or do I need to talk to someone else? And it takes a while to get there. We're pretty used to them being the authority. But eventually you're going to understand that you're the one who knows the most about your dementia person."

Learn more:
* Wine, Women, and Dementia: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/
* Kitty Norton: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/the-filmmakers

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to talk more about the origins of her caregivers documentary.

Kitty says, "I started a blog in 2018 and mom died in 2021. And during that time, we had kind of built this community around people who also were using humor to try and get through that, and acknowledging all the feels, not allowing the stigma and the guilt to be a part of the journey too much. You can't block it all together... Five people in particular in this journey became very, very important to me as virtual support. Everybody who followed the blog commented, all of that stuff, was important, but these five people, I had really connected with them.

"After mom died, I decided I wanted to go meet them and I just wanted to tell them in person how much they meant to me, and open a bottle of wine and just talk, because we had been so good at just emails and Zooms. So then I thought, well, if I'm gonna do that, maybe those conversations might be really helpful for other caregivers. Why not hire a film crew and see what we can do here. And we did a month-long trip around the country. But the very first person we did was Allison Schrier up in Seattle, because I'm based in Portland. I wanted to make sure, before we roamed around the country, that I had a film, and I came back, looked at the footage of Alison's formal interview without me. And then the wine chats that we did at night once I showed up, and I was like, for sure, this is a film. This is a film I wish I could have seen in 2016. I want to make this. So that's how the whole trip got started. I bought a beat up old RV, and I plastered mom's face all over it, and I grabbed my friend Bethy from L.A., and she's a screenwriter, so she doesn't have normal jobs like everybody else. And I was like, hey, you wanna go on a three-week trip with me around the country?"

Kitty shared what surprised her most about meeting most of them. "I was so nervous: What if we don't like each other in person? I've got an RV, I'm going to be parked in your driveway. I'm gonna be taking your electricity. What if we meet and at the end of the night you're like, "Ugh!" But that didn't happen, we all loved each other, and we just started talking... The crew would sometimes scold us like, "Don't, stop! You're talking about stuff we should have on camera, and we're not set up yet!" We just couldn't wait to start sharing in person the experiences that we had touched on virtually, it's so fantastic."

Learn more:
* Wine, Women, and Dementia: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/
* Kitty Norton: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/the-filmmakers

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kitty Norton, creator and producer of the caregivers documentary feature ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne.

Kitty shared, "I am the eldest daughter of Gloria and Gary Norton. I have a younger sister. My family always had a very wry, self-deprecating sense of humor. It's always been my saving grace in really difficult situations. When my mother was first diagnosed with vascular dementia, that was back in 2010. And my dad had decided that he would be her primary caregiver and he was very adamant about that. And my father was also kind of very insular. So even though mom had a big family, he was concerned about sisters butting in, and sisters were starting to feel like they weren't allowed access to my mom. And it was an adjustment for everybody. 

"I was working as an assistant editor in network TV. And in 2016, my father died rather suddenly from pancreatic cancer, and it was diagnosis to death with three weeks. And my sister who lives on the Oregon Coast, both of us knew that mom couldn't live on her own. I had just been hired for the first season of "This is Us," the NBC show, but I had to call and tell them I have to move back home. I have to move back to Oregon and live with my mom. So we did. And it was incredibly tough, like you've said before. It's, you know, this is the hardest thing you'll ever do.

"But I was also struck with the amount of life there is to live in dementia. And it's a really, really different life than what you're used to. But there's still life, and my mom still needed to live her life. She wasn't dying anytime soon, and we still needed to leave live ours. So that's a lot of where our humor ended up saving my sister and I. We could get together afterwards after a really tough day. I'd just feel like I did this wrong, I did this wrong, I did this wrong, and then we could laugh about it. She could tease me about it."

Kitty adds, "You had to use dementia against itself. We gave her one of those cards that you open and sings once for Mother's Day, and I noticed that at meal time, we'd have it sitting up, and she'd look at it, and she'd open it, and it'd start singing. She'd just giggle, giggle, giggle and then se put it down. Five minutes later I'd pick it up, I'd put it in front of her. I'd give her a couple of minutes. She'd pick it up. She'd open it up it, sing. She'd giggle, giggle, giggle. It was like all new all the time."

Learn more:
* Wine, Women, and Dementia: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/
* Kitty Norton: https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/the-filmmakers

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of National Caregiver Month, Star Bradbury joins Suzanne to continue the discussion about her 2023 book, "Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years."

Millions of Americans are in an active caregiver role or will be in one in the future, yet few have a solid plan for the inevitable challenges of aging.

Whether your parents are in their 60s or their 90s, and whether they have years of health ahead of them or already need more support, Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years provides the framework and information you need to prepare for and handle with confidence the changes to come.

The responsibility of caring for an aging loved one is often daunting—and when trouble hits, the sudden barrage of questions you face can be overwhelming. Have your parents executed their Advance Directives? Do you know what to look for in a senior community (and how to ensure a spot is available when you need it)? If your parents want to stay in their home, what can you do to ensure their safety?

Certified aging life care specialist and CEO of Senior Living Strategies Star Bradbury draws on her 25 years of experience in senior living to bring you an up-to-date, comprehensive guide to navigating the tricky waters ahead—starting with putting a plan in place now that maximizes your parents’ independence while providing them with the support they need.

Learn more: 
* Star Bradbury: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BRT9M6VQ/about
* Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Successfully-Navigating-Parents-Senior-Years/dp/1637742479
* Google Books preview of the book: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Successfully_Navigating_Your_Parents_Sen/--VxEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of National Caregiver Month, Star Bradbury joins Suzanne to continue the discussion about her 2023 book, "Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years."

Millions of Americans are in an active caregiver role or will be in one in the future, yet few have a solid plan for the inevitable challenges of aging.

Whether your parents are in their 60s or their 90s, and whether they have years of health ahead of them or already need more support, Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years provides the framework and information you need to prepare for and handle with confidence the changes to come.

The responsibility of caring for an aging loved one is often daunting—and when trouble hits, the sudden barrage of questions you face can be overwhelming. Have your parents executed their Advance Directives? Do you know what to look for in a senior community (and how to ensure a spot is available when you need it)? If your parents want to stay in their home, what can you do to ensure their safety?

Certified aging life care specialist and CEO of Senior Living Strategies Star Bradbury draws on her 25 years of experience in senior living to bring you an up-to-date, comprehensive guide to navigating the tricky waters ahead—starting with putting a plan in place now that maximizes your parents’ independence while providing them with the support they need.

Learn more: 
* Star Bradbury: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BRT9M6VQ/about
* Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Successfully-Navigating-Parents-Senior-Years/dp/1637742479
* Google Books preview of the book: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Successfully_Navigating_Your_Parents_Sen/--VxEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.