This episode explains why you look confident on the outside but still do not feel “enough” at home. I show how a hidden worth wound drives chasing, fixing, people-pleasing, and fear of conflict. You will learn simple steps to calm your body, keep your truth, and build real safety with your wife without begging for approval.

What You’ll Learn:

How a hidden worth story runs your marriage

Why distance feels like “I’m not enough”

How over-giving and apologizing backfire

Why reassurance never lasts

What secure self-worth looks like in daily life

Six clear steps to start healing from the inside

Chapters / Timestamps:

0:00 Opening story: the hidden worth wound
2:48 Pattern reveal: “I am not enough unless approved”
6:05 1) The invisible worth story behind anxious habits
9:22 2) You look confident, but your patterns say otherwise
12:40 3) Why her distance triggers “I’m not enough”
16:03 4) Performing, proving, and over-functioning
19:35 5) Conflict exposes a worth wound, not just attachment
23:02 6) Why reassurance never works long-term
26:20 7) Being loved vs. feeling lovable
29:38 8) Apologizing, pleasing, and over-explaining as protection
33:05 9) What secure self-worth looks like in a husband
36:22 10) Six steps to reclaim worth from the inside
40:10 Closing: worth is returned, not earned

Key Points:

You are not broken. You learned to earn love.

Distance can feel like a worth loss. Name it and breathe.

Peacekeeping is not safety. Honest presence is safety.

Reassurance is a bandage. Identity work heals the root.

Secure men hold their ground with calm, not force.

Try These This Week:

Replace “I’m fine” with one clear feeling and one clear need.

Pause before you fix. Say, “I’m here. Keep going,” and stay present.

Give affection with no strings. Let closeness be free.

Before you apologize, ask, “Am I keeping connection or giving up myself?”

After hard moments, ask, “Did I keep my worth, or hand it away?”

Free 30-Minute Consultation:

Want help with this? Book a free 30-minute call. It is a simple chat about what is happening in your marriage and how coaching might help. No sales pitch. No pressure. We will see if it is a good fit and how I can help.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

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