Anything But Vanilla Podcast

Real talk. Do you like downing Costco brand alcohol and getting into heated discussions with your best friend?!? Well, you’ve come to the right place because in this weeks episode Flaire is getting lit and bringing the fire that only Kirkland brand tequila can give. Tune in, turn on and drink up, as the twosome recap their highs and lows of the week during “Rose and Thorn” (stay for the Hanson talk, it’s good, we swear), discuss some news stories this week (talk to us anti-vaxxers) and answer the age-old question: how old is too old to be dressing “slutty” for Halloween? Chelsea Handler’s Netflix doc is discussed and both ladies are fans, although they do have some questions. Saving the worst for last, Fran brings you the hater of the week and shocker! White male privilege strikes again !

Kirkland Bella
1 part Kirkland brand tequila blanco
1/2 part lime juice
1/2 part agave nectar
4 parts champagne 
Shake over ice and enjoy!

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us @abvpodcast on insta and twitter 

Summer is gone, fall is officially here and a new season means big changes for the ladies! This week the duo are welcoming in their first guest, Rachel Smith. Rachel is a “boss bitch” who owns her own local PR firm, WordSmith Communications. In addition, Rachel is a hilarious online personality who shares her love of bagels, dating and life as a single woman in her 30s on her instagram, @rachelintheknow. Kick back, crack up and drink along with the ladies as episode 24 unfolds.

In this weeks episode the duo give their version of a “Litmus Test” to their cohost, recap their highs and lows of the week during “Rose and Thorn” (shocker they involve drinking, kids and sleep aaaaand some serviceman fantasies). News stories this week include a revamping of one of Sacramento’s ice cream establishment institutions, high school body shaming in Alaska and Sacramento’s keen ability to bottom out another national poll survey. Advice comes to us this week by way of a lady who wants to know how critical it is for family members to like your significant other. The threesome is a little divided, so weigh in to share your thoughts.  Saving the worst for last, Rachel brings you the hater of the week, the Emmys at large, for its disappointing list of winners. 

”Basic” Gin And Tonic
1 can Lime White Claw
2 bottles Fever Tree Tonic
2 cups gin, muddled in 10 limes
Lots of ice

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

It's raining, its pouring, technology is fucking up royally!!!! Pardon our lateness, but we had a bit of a mishap in recording this week, so we are a little, ahem, late, in posting this weeks episode. But it's okay, because you know we were really just very drunk and fucked everything all up. You can thank Claire's, "Hyped Up" version of the Barn's Tequila Sangria for this one. Sorry, not sorry, as the kids say these days. 

In this week episode, the gals review their best and worst of the week with 'Rose and Thorn" (Shocker they had a lot of roses). News is shared and ABV crew members can look forward to learning about California's challenge to the NCAA's policy on student athletes earning money (By the the way, is it NC Double A or, NC2A or, both? Weigh in please) as well as, Felicity Huffman's sentencing. Advice comes to us this week by way of a disillusioned millennial wanting to know if dream jobs exist. And let us tell you, as soon as this podcast is sponsored you are lookin’ at two hookers with their dream job! Saving the worst for last this week, Bill Maher is this weeks hater. Bring back fat shaming Bill? You are an ignorant piece of privileged garbage. 

”Hyped Up” Tequila Sangria   

Bottle of red wine

Blood Orange San Pellegrino

Lots o’ tequila 

Sparkling water

Lots of ice

You can read this weeks news articles here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wsj.com/amp/articles/california-takes-aim-at-ncaa-pay-ban-11568244553

And here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/09/14/us/felicity-huffman-prison-dublin/index.html

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

Who says summer is over after Labor Day? Not these drunks! Claire and Fran are slurping up the last bits of these summer days with a little slice of warm weather nostalgia... a, “juiced up”, Lime Rickey. Sit back, continue to get bronze and drink one of these refreshing cocktails along with the ladies as they take you on the journey of episode 22.

In this weeks episode the duo review their highs and lows of the week during, “Rose and Thorn” which somehow, takes a turn into the hater of the week. Why, do you wonder? Because when Flaire (Fran and Claire, duh) is drinking, nothing is as it should be. News stories this week include the new Hard Rock Hotel opening in Marysville this October 2019 and a New York Times expose on college “essay mills” abroad. Have you ever paid someone to write a paper for you? Would you? Claire wouldn’t, but she is holier than thou, so... advice this week comes at us from an individual moving in with his/her partner. Does this person have a right to dump all her partners furniture? Fran is a yes, but she is selfish. Last but not least, some cheesey ass person wanted to know Flaire’s personal mantras, or words to live by. Let’s see if they are any good. 

“Juiced Up” Lime Rickey   

Simple Syrup (1/2 cup sugar to 1/2 cup water)

Juice of 4-6 limes

Club soda or lime sparkling water

Lots o’ vodka

Pebble ice if you have the means 

You can read this weeks news articles here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.sacbee.com/entertainment/casino/article234801132.html

And here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/09/09/learning/cheating-essay-lesson-plan.amp.html

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

Its so hard to say goodbye to summer....or is it? On Episode 21, Claire serves up a new and improved rendition of a Tequila Sunrise to help keep the poolside vibes going for our listeners who aren't quite ready to give up on summer like we are! Full drink recipe is listed below. At the top of the episode, the girls reveal the final results of the "tan-off" and all the bizarre competitive tactics that went along with it. As per usual, the gals recap the previous week by sharing their, “Rose and Thorn”, present local and national news highlights, including: a local news article about the new "dress code" at Bar West, a new Vegas hotel with an emphasis on wellness over gambling, and finally, a new scientific study proving autism is generally caused by genetics, not vaccines! This week, the girls give advice to a listener who wants to know if she should confront her roommate about her boyfriend's poor behavior. Shockingly, the advice is practical and spot on ;) For ABV Homework, Fran and Claire debate their thoughts on the new HBO show, "The Righteous Gemstone" and Fran reveals next week's ABV Homework, Dave Chappelle's new Netflix special, "Sticks and Stones". To save time, we skip hater of the week (well, really, it's Bar West) to hear Erica's final thoughts on her last ABV Episode as she officially signs off as a full-time cohost to pursue her vague dreams of being an entrepreneur of sorts in a land that is far, far away from our recording studio. Make sure to listen all the way to the end of the episode to hear a hilarious roasting of the gal’s friendship dynamics, best and worst moments on the pod, and a final tribute song as we bid adieu to our cohost threesome! 

All Aboard?! Hang on tight friends… it’s going to be a bumpy ride now that we have just two podcast hosts remaining, Claire and Fran! Stay tuned for chaos that ensues in the coming weeks with this dynamic duo and make sure to DM us your thoughts on Erica’s final episode!

Claire’s End of Summer Tequila Sunrise Ingredients:

2 cups - Freshly squeezed OJ

1 cup – Tequila

2 tbs – grenadine

Top off with club soda & ice

 Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

Hey ABV listeners! Did you think Fran’s White Claw creation was on fire last episode? Well, ya gurl nails another one this week, with “Tajine Dream #2” Full drink recipe is listed below. On Episode 20, the gals recap the previous week by sharing their, “Rose and Thorn”, present local and national news highlights, including: a 60 person brawl at Raging Waters (stay classy, Sacramento), The first reported JUUL related death and a depressing report about the lack of fundraising for the Amazon fires...spoiler alert: the world is racist!  This week, the girls give listener advice while engaging in a heated debate about how to navigate a friend experiencing emotional and physical abuse in a relationship. In another round of “ask me anything”, the girls discuss their meanest childhood memory and surprise surprise… it’s a little disturbing hilarious and a cautionary tale to all babysitters! (Dang, Erica!)  Finally, Claire shares her hater of the week after the girls attended a comedy show over the weekend. Thankfully, fellow podcaster and comedian, Jared Freid saved the day and put the haters in check! DM us your thoughts on this episode! 

Drink Ingredients:
1 cup frozen water melon
1/3 cup triple sec
1 cup tequila
5 lines juiced
Mint simple syrup (directions in previous episode notes)
Blend and enjoy!

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

Summer is winding down and the tan-off is only weeks away, which can only mean one thing...the ladies are finally jumping on the Whiteclaw wagon and living their best basic bitch summers. In episode 19, the gals share their highs and lows of the week during, “Rose and Thorn” and discuss only one news story this week because they are drunks who lose track of time and like to go off on tangents. Are you old and prone to terrible hangovers like the ladies of ABV? Well then, listen up! They got you covered in this weeks, ask us anything! 

Not So Basic Bitch Cocktail  

Mango Rum (can be any flavor or plain rum too)

Mango Whiteclaw (to taste)

Mango Purée (Dice one mango and blend with 2 tablespoons of water)

Ice

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

Oh lawwwwwwdy! This past week has us firing on all cylinders! The ladies are coming in fiery and fierce with this last weeks news of citizens boycotting businesses supporting trump (with a lower case T, because, that is the grammar he deserves). Wanna get fired up too? Proceed! 

In episode 18, the gals share their highs and lows of the week during  “Rose and Thorn”, discuss local and national news, including Natty Ice’s take on the hard seltzer drink game, give advice to a parent who is not enjoying a close friends child and completing Erica’s “ABV Homework”, Too Funny To Fail. Did y’all think it was as funny as we did? We hope so! . Finally, the hater of the week is revealed and shocker(!) it’s a renob. 

Claire’s Redemption Cocktail 
Cucumber Vodka (as much as you want)

Sparkling Lemon Water (just a splash or two)

San Pellegrino Limonata (to taste)

Ice

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

The trio is back and better than ever! Just kidding! Erica made a hood rat drink, the United States is royally fucked (thanks NRA!) and Claire is trying to back pedal on her “know-it-all” status. In episode 17, the threesome give their weeks in review by sharing their, “Rose and Thorn”, discuss the unbearable events of multiple domestic terrorist attacks on the United States and, of course, give advice to a gentlemen wanting to help his friend. Did you want to know the ladies of ABV’s vices?!?! No? Well guess what? We are telling you what they are in this weeks Ask Us Anything! Finally, the hater of the week is revealed and don’t let grandma Claire ruin the surprise for you.  

Erica’s Hood Rat Drink
Vodka (as much as you want)
Sparkling Lemon Water (just eyeball it)
Lemon Juice (squeeze that bitch)
Ice
Open a bottle of Vueve (thanks Heidi)

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

This week the ladies are feeling a little off kilter, as they are down to just two. With Erica out of town, Claire and Fran do their best to hold down the fort and get drunk with shooters (recipe below) that were unfortunately, disgusting. A word to the wise- drink at your discretion and don’t say we didn’t warn you. In episode 16, the twosome recap their previous week by sharing their, “Rose and Thorn”, present local and national news highlights, including, Sacramento’s 2019 inductee’s to their walk of fame and the winner of the first ever Fortnite World Cup. Listener advice is doled out regarding staying in a relationship that is built on a foundation of secrets and the duo recaps last weeks "ABV homework" assignment, by sharing their thoughts on Aziz Ansari’s Netflix stand up special. In true ABV fashion, the girls reveal their most embarrassing drunk moment for this weeks ask us anything and they are truly cringeworthy. Finally, this weeks hater is revealed and sadly, she wasn’t even their to defend herself.  Slide into the DM's or email us with your thoughts on the episode.

The Tyrion Lannister Shot
5 oz Vodka
2.5 oz St. Germain Elderflower Liqueur
2 oz Simple Syrup
2.5 oz Fresh Squeezed Lime Juice
Fresh Mint Leaves
 
Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast