Apocalypse Video

Between the time when the bombs fell…and the rise of the sons of Pteranodon, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Co-Dee, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Apocalypse Video upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high podcasting!

I am your host and Chronicler, Dave, and joining me as we watch the film that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a household name in the world of Cinema are fellow Cimmerians and thieves Ryan, Mike, and special guest of honor: Co-Dee.

Topics of discussion in this episode include the newest exercise routine sweeping the wasteland: the Wheel of Pain workout; John Milius provides the perfect level of machismo needed to direct a film such as Conan the Barbarian; and finally, Ryan inadvertently creates a running gag that threatens the death of yours truly by Co-Dee’s hand.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!

So, did Co-Dee review another film for the Apocalypse Video podcast. And, having no further concern, he and his companions watched many more movies and talked about them endlessly. These stories shall also be told…

It’s time to bust out the oil and start lathering those jacked pecs, because Apocalypse Video is headed to the jungle for a special tribute screening of Predator in honor of the late, great Carl Weathers. Just be sure to also cover yourself in mud, as well. You’ll thank us later.

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we prepare for the ultimate hunt are fellow cinephiles and elite special forces commandos Mike, Jackie, Ryan, and special guests: Cody and The Fridge.

Topics of discussion in this episode include Predator being the most quotable film Arnold Schwarzenegger ever made; we speculate on what other covert missions Dutch and his team of expendables were up to pre-Predator; and finally, we ask the question that’s been on everyone’s minds since 1987; what do Predators do when they aren’t out hunting?

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!

That’ll do it for this week’s episode, folks. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a choppa to catch.

Captain’s Log, Stardate 3372.7. The Trek Cast remains trapped in the TOS era of Star Trek, and our next assignment is Season 2’s “Amok Time”. An episode filled with horny rage and awesome fight music. I have instructed my crew to behave themselves during the screening, and not to emulate the insubordinate behavior of Mr. Spock, lest they find themselves in the brig for illogical conduct.

I’m your host and captain, Dave, and joining me again as we travel through the final frontier of the Original Series of Trek are fellow Trekkies Lt. Mike and First Officer Jackie.

Topics of discussion in this episode include a breakdown of Pon Farr, aka: the Vulcan version of the Birds and the Bees; we get a peek into the bizarre and macabre world of the “Omegaverse”; and finally, we wonder if this whole episode was just an excuse for Gene Roddenberry to live out his sci-fi cuck fantasies.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know, but please, only logical answers will be accepted.

The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return with The Paradise Syndrome.

Let me just say this right now, folks: when someone tells you that hooking up smokestacks to your septic tank will result in a 95% reduction in airborne poo particles, they’re probably telling you a tall tale. Take us for example. We attach a pair of smokestacks, and before you know it we’re getting hit with lawsuits from people suffering acid burns and even death. But luckily, our old friend Immortan Hoof has provided us with a monster film that just so happens to tackle this very subject…

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we sit down for some Kaiju on Smog action are fellow cinephiles and bonfire-loving hippies Mike, Ryan, Jackie, and Nick “Immortan Hoof”.

Topics of discussion in this episode include Godzilla entering Fatality mode as he rids the Earth of Hedorah with Kano-like brutality; the 60’s are alive and well in Japan as we witness the psychedelic club scene in Tokyo; and finally, move over Mjolnir, because Godzilla has devised an even more outlandish form of propulsion: heat ray flying.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!

That’ll do it for this episode, folks. And don’t forget - stop the spread of pollution! If you see a mound of smog with red eyes, punch through it with your fists! Together we can stop smog from ruining our planet, one glowy goo orb at a time! (This message brought to you by the Apocalypse Video “Save the Planet” Foundation).

There are those who believe that podcasts here began out there, far across the universe, with tribes of neckbeard film fans who may have been the forefathers of the movie review podcast. Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man who even now podcast to survive, somewhere beyond Apocalypse Video…

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we begin yet another spin off pod series is my faithful companion and trusted advisor, “Nick” Immortan Hoof.

Topics of discussion in this episode include the surprising amount of carnage and dog murder in this otherwise cheesy 70s sci-fi show; Lt. Starbuck gives Troy Mclure a run for his money in the sleazy scumbag department; and finally, we learn the all important lesson of space casinos: if it’s run by bug-people and you haven’t lost one hand in five hours, odds are you’re about to be turned into bug food.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. What’s your favorite Battlestar episode? Hit us up and let us know!

The Apocalypse Video Battlestar Galactica Original Series podcast (aka: APV-BSG-OG-POD) will return with Lost Planet of the Gods.

Apocalypse Video Bond-Cast Mission Dossier:

The Target:
1971’s Diamonds are Forever

Your Contacts:
Apocalypse Video (M)anager - Dave
Agents - Mike and Jackie

Mission Objectives:

Additional Objectives:
Rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!

The Apocalypse Video Bond Cast will return with…Live and Let Die.

We get a lot of whacky customers in Apocalypse Video. Everyone from ptera people to lizard people come into our store not understanding what a movie is, to which we are forced to educate them on the lost art form that was once Cinema. But every once in a while we encounter a customer that is simply unable to distinguish the line between reality and fiction. A person so convinced that what they are watching is real that they are willing to put their own life and the lives of others at risk.

Such a person entered the store recently. And the object of their obsession…? The 1995 hit sci-fi adventure film Congo – or, as this person stubbornly believes, the 1995 documentary film Congo. Well, let’s just say that someone who enters the store wielding a giant laser isn’t someone we want to disappoint. If Congo is what she wants, Congo is what she’ll get.

I’m your host and leader of this expedition, Dave, and joining me as we venture deep into the jungle of Michael Crichton’s imagination (even though apparently he had almost nothing to do with the making of this movie) are fellow cinephiles and TraviCom cronies, Mike, Ryan, Cody, and special guest Herkemina Homolka.

Topics of discussion in this episode include Tim Curry eating as much scenery as humanly possible; Joe Don Baker teaches us that nothing is more important than family (unless there’s a big ass diamond involved); and finally, we can’t help but feel a little bad as Laura Linney mercilessly lasers the film’s primate villains to death.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!

And so concludes our expedition into the Congo. We’ll be back next week with an all new Bond Cast! Until then…put down my sesame cake!!!

There’s nothing quite like the bright lights of the big city - specifically, New York City. As they say, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere! So you can imagine my disappointment when I found out the Deluxe New York Virtual Getaway package I picked up was actually for Staten Island, New York and not New York City. Thankfully, our Hilton Star Trek Simulator does allow for movies to be shown in a panoramic setting…and there’s one movie in our collection that just so happens to feature a killer’s row of stars and the great city of Manhattan in all of it’s grimy, sleazy, pre-Giuliani glory.

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try to make it in the big city are fellow cinephiles and off-Broadway stars Ryan, Mike, and Jackie.

Topics of discussion in this episode include Kermit’s Don Draper turn; we witness Animal go full spider-mode as he attacks famed character actor Dabney Coleman; and finally, we’re shocked to discover that Jim Henson beat Brad Bird to the punch when it comes to rats running a kitchen.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!

That’ll do it for this episode. Now start spreading the newwwws!!!

Captain’s Log: Stardate 3141.9

After a freak accident thrust our Hilton Star Trek Experience Simulator into a temporal wake, we have found ourselves deposited in the TOS era of Star Trek. Our systems are damaged and our onboard C.H.A.D. computer tells me that it will take several months to fully restore the systems so that we may travel back to our own time - our own…Next Generation.

Though we can leave the simulator at any time - and we are not technically trapped back in time - we find ourselves annoyed with the customers in the store who repeatedly ask if movies like Madame Web or Wonka have hit the shelves yet. We keep telling them that these movies only exist in a parallel universe to ours, but…no one listens. For these reasons, Mike, Jackie, and myself choose to stay in the simulator in the hopes that the adventures of Kirk, Spock and McCoy will cure the doldrums of our miserable, nightmare lives….

I am your host and Captain, Dave, and joining me as we turn deflectors to maximum are fellow Trek fans Lt. Mike and First Officer Jackie.

Topics of discussion in this assignment include the bizarre love of dictators from the Enterprise crew; we collectively fan ourselves as Khan lays down a thirst trap; and finally, we ask just what the hell a Reorientation Center is supposed to be?

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know, but please, only logical answers will be accepted.

The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return as things get horny with Amok Time.

“Someone didn’t go to Yosemite…”

The year is 1998. After twenty years and five sequels, the Halloween franchise needed a shot in the arm if it was to compete with the likes of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Enter returning Halloween veteran Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Williamson, and the scariest element of all – Harvey Weinstein – to show us all that blood truly is thicker than water.

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me for this blood soaked family reunion are fellow horror fans and Hillcrest Academy dropouts, Nick “Immortan Hoof”, Mike, Jackie, and special guest: Janna.

Topics of discussion in this episode include the emerging trend of sweeping select entries in a franchise under the rug; we wonder why the producers felt the need to leave all of the rejected Michael Myers masks in the finished film; and finally, after a brief peek at the trivia, we learn that legally evil can-not die.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What did you think of Halloween H20? Worst film in the franchise? Or the best? Let us know, we want to hear from you.

The Apocalypse Video Halloween Retrospective will return, along with Jamie Lee Curtis (one last time…at least until the next reboot), with Halloween: Resurrection. See you then, and be sure not to lose your heads!