Apocalypse Video

Someone once wrote, “War is Hell”. Well, the same thing could be said for this latest run of my Apology Tour. We just watched a season 6 two-parter of M*A*S*H., a show that up until this point I had only seen the end credits of as a kid whenever I was waiting for something else to come on TV. It’s not that the show is bad, mind you, I just can’t shake the feeling that one of my co-hosts, a die hard M*A*S*H. fan, is giving me evil eyes whenever I don’t laugh along with the audience laugh track. We’ll see if I make it through this leg of the tour without getting beaten by my friends with the old “soap in a sock” routine.

Anyway, I’m your host, Dave, and joining me on this tour of duty are fellow TV-philes and brothers/sisters in arms, Mike and special guest: Janna.

Topics of discussion in this episode include as background on Klinger’s whole deal and his (more than likely) eventual turn to madness; Dave’s Hawkeye impression could use some serious work; and finally, we try to explain Alan Alda’s animal magnetism.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] 

That’ll do it for this episode, folks. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to get the hell out of here. I think I see the rest of my unit in the shadows creeping over to my bunk…and they’re carrying socks…

Hello, People of the Wasteland. My name is Dave, Store Manager of Apocalypse Video, and I would like to read you the following statement I have prepared:

“After the utter failure of our recent summer film fest, which featured the likes of Catwoman and Madame Web, I admit that my decision to create a whole summer of programming based purely on spite was ill conceived and wrong. I accept all responsibility for the pain and anguish that came along with everyone in the wasteland having to watch these terrible films in order to follow along with our corresponding podcast reviews. I hope that you will one day forgive me, and as a gesture of what I hope will lead to my eventual redemption, I would like to announce that this month’s programming will officially be known as “Dave’s Apology Tour”; a series of reviews based on movies and shows that people actually enjoy - and not things like the live action Aeon Flux.

And with that, I hope you enjoy the first entry in my Apology Tour, 1999’s box office smash: The Mummy.”

I’m your host who’s skating on thin ice, Dave, and joining me as we kick off a batch of watchable movies for a change are fellow cinephiles and crypt robbers Mike, Jackie, and Ryan.

Topics of discussion in this episode include the famed “Summer of ‘99” (aka: the year of dual wielding pistols and CG bugs entering people’s bodies); we talk about the decades long journey to bring The Mummy to screen, which included the likes of Joe Dante and Clive Barker; and finally, we talk about the Mummy’s place in a crowded summer dominated by The Matrix and Star Wars: Episode One - The Phantom Menace.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] 

That’ll do it for this episode, folks. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we gotta jump on our camels and ride off into the sunset.

In our world, knowing the future can’t save you from it.

On the final episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female, Dakota Johnson and Sony Pictures make a film so bad it threatens to end Cinema as we know it! So take off your shoes and prepare to party like it’s 2003; it's Madame Web!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we review what is perhaps the worst film we’ve ever watched for this podcast are fellow cinephiles and precogs Ryan, Mike, and Jackie.

Topics of discussion in this episode include the age old Hollywood tradition of churning out garbage strictly to hold onto an IP; Dakota Johnson can see the future, but apparently has difficulty opening a can of Pepsi; and finally, Sony Pictures sadly drives the final nail in the proverbial coffin of their live-action Spiderverse spinoffs with a film so bad, it can’t even be saved by an ending at a literal fireworks factory.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

And with that, Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V comes to an end. What else is there to say…sorry, folks. They can’t all be winners. But next year, we’re gonna pull out all the stops and only feature bangers. No more films by Pitof - we promise.

In the future, the odds of survival are 1000 to 1. That’s just the way she likes it.

On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol V: The Future is Super Female!, Lori Petty ditches her surf board and commandeers a tank to go one on one against the holographic head of Malcolm McDowell…it’s Tank Girl!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try our best to conserve water are fellow cinephiles Ryan and special guest, Janna.

Topics of discussion in this episode include how Tank Girl plays like a post-apocalyptic Little Rascals; we salute the ingenuity of Malcolm McDowell’s water bottle-water suckers; and finally, we wonder if the zaniness of Tank Girl was just a few years ahead of its time as we talk about the film and the comic’s legacy.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for this week’s episode, true believers. We’ll be back next week as Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol V: The Future is Super Female!! concludes with 2024’s Madame Web.

Adventure runs in the family.

On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol V: The Future is Super Female!, Helen Slater battles evil witches and horny truckers as she seeks the power source that will bring life back to her space hippie commune…IT’S SUPERGIRL!!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we chow down on some Popeye’s chicken are fellow cinephiles and Argo City space hippies Mike, Jackie, and Ryan.

Topics of discussion in this episode include the ever expanding range of Kryptonian super powers, which somehow include the ability to create schoolgirl outfits out of thin air; we wonder how much the Salkind’s had to pay Peter O’Toole to embarrass himself in this tripe; and finally…we need to talk about Jimmy Olsen, because this thirty something creeper is getting way too fresh with Lois Lane’s kid sister.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for this week’s episode, true believers. We’ll be back next week as we travel to the post apocalyptic future of Tank Girl!

They were three small time girls, with big time dreams. Now, fate is giving the Pussycats the chance of a lifetime.

On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female!, a group of aspiring rock stars from Riverdale must foil the evil plans of Alan Cumming and Parker Posey as they use the power of subliminal advertising to sell a bunch of garbage to the youth of America. It’s…Josie and the Pussycats.

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we prepare to drop our totally awesome new album are fellow cinephiles and Josie fanboys, Mike and Ryan.

Topics of discussion in this episode include the bizarre legacy of Riverdale and its many inhabitants; we question whether or not critics in the year 2001 knew what satire was; and finally, we pour one out for the music industry of yore as we talk about the death of the music video generation.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for this week’s episode, true believers. We’ll be back next time as Helen Slater emerges from a pond in full costume to battle a magical Faye Dunaway in Supergirl.

This week we celebrate a milestone occasion, folks. Believe it or not, it’s been six whole years since we first started doing the Apocalypse Video podcast, and a lot’s happened in that time. We’ve had people come and go – heads chopped off; heads reattached; Kaiju attacks; you know, the usual.

So with such a long and storied history, how could we possibly celebrate six years in a fashion befitting of a show so spectacular?

The answer…Trivia. As in, MOVIE TRIVIA SHOWDOWN!!!

That’s right, we’re coming at ya LIVE from the newly opened Apocalypse Video Studios in Sector 2 with over ninety minutes of movie trivia action! Plus a handful of questions about the crazy shenanigans that have occurred on this show over the years.

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me today are our three contestants, chosen from the admittedly limited pool of employees at Apocalypse Video: Mike, Jackie, and Ryan!

Do our contestants have what it takes to win the showdown and prove their Apocalypse Video bonafides? Well, we’ll find out today!!!

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

Apocalypse Video will resume its regularly scheduled programming next week, as Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V returns with Josie and the Pussycats. See you then!

Before she can find peace she will wage war.

On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female!, Jennifer Garner comes back from the dead to battle tattooed freaks and super villains who use their laundry as a weapon – It’s Elektra!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as the fatigue of this less than stellar film fest is starting to set in are fellow cinephiles Mike and Ryan.

Topics of discussion in this episode include a climax that looks like it was choreographed by the Star Wars Kid; we equate Elektra to a Wal-Mart brand Batman Begins; and finally, we discuss the legacy of Jennifer Garner’s Elektra and how she ultimately ended up in a literal trash world for forgotten early 2000s superheroes.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for this week’s episode, true believers. We’ll be back next time as we jet over to Riverdale and jam with everyone’s favorite rockers, Josie and the Pussycats.

CATch Her in IMAX!

On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female!, Halle Berry plays Patience Phillips, a super hot nerd who is turned into a super hot Catwoman, as she battles a stone faced Sharon Stone who’s out to turn the women of America into face cream addicted monsters – from visionary director Pitof, it’s Catwoman!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we scrape the absolute bottom of the superhero barrel is fellow cinephile and Bast fanboy, Ryan.

Topics of discussion in this episode include a question as to whether free movie vouchers included in Batman DVDs count towards a film’s total box office gross; we wonder if the screenwriters used the Superhero Name Generator to come up with Catwoman’s alter ego: Patience Phillips; and finally, we wonder how bad the shelved Batgirl movie could have possibly been if this was considered releasable.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for this week’s episode, true believers. We’ll be back next time as we stay in the early 2000s era of superhero films with 2005’s forgotten snoozefest, Elektra.

See Barbarella do her thing!

On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female!, prepare to drop some acid and make love like it’s the year 4,000 — it’s Barbarella!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we take our sex pills and prepare to have our hair blown back are fellow cinephiles and primitives living in a state of neurotic irresponsibility, Mike and Ryan.

Topics of discussion in this episode include a future where all spaceship walls are covered in shag carpet; Barbarella bizarre production shows us a glimpse of what Star Wars might have looked like, had it not been saved in editing; and finally, we determine that Barbarella is basically The Wizard of Oz, if Dorothy had had sex with the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion, and the Scarecrow.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for this week’s episode, true believers. We’ll be back next time as we unleash our claws and meeeowwww with 2004’s box office bomb, Catwoman.