Apocalypse Video

Captain’s Log, Stardate 1709.2

After a long hiatus, the Trek-Cast is back with the season one classic, Balance of Terror. I am excited for the submarine inspired action sequences, but can’t help but feel uneasy… I suspect that one of my crew is a Romulan spy - I can’t prove it, but what I can prove is that someone is stealing my hair plugs and selling them on the black market at outrageous prices.

I’m hoping to smoke this individual out on the episode and find out where their allegiances lie, by how they rate the dorky looking fashion of the Romulan crew…

I’m your host and captain, Dave, and joining me again as we brace for impact from the giant red ball of death are fellow Trekkies Lt. Mike and First Officer Jackie.

Topics of discussion in this episode include Trek at its best, aka: submarine style space combat; we’ll also call the fashion police on the Romulan crew’s attire; and finally, William Shatner shows his acting chops and proves that James T. Kirk is more than the Zap Brannigan parody he is known for.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know, but please, only logical answers will be accepted.

The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return with Journey to Babel.

Now that Jesusary is behind us, we’re free to watch the movies that the Wasteland really cares about: 70s cult flicks with goofy looking gangs and memorable one liners. God Bless.

I’m your host and War Chief, Dave, and joining me are fellow cinephiles and emissaries Mike, Ryan, Nick, and Cody.

Topics of discussion in this episode include a breakdown of the disappointing fight between the much hyped Baseball Furies and The Warriors; we wonder which of us is lame enough to be part of The Orphan gang; and finally, we get into the crazy behind the scenes happenings on The Warriors, including the crew getting peed on by angry New Yorkers.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] Which gang in The Warriors do you think you’d be part of? Me? I’m that guy who pays the turnstile for the rest of his gang buddies.

That’ll do it for this episode, folks. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to get our asses back to Sector 2, because we’re twenty seven miles behind enemy lines and we refuse to take off our Apocalypse Video polos!

Please…sit. And welcome to the Church of Apocalypse Video. I’m your host and pastor, Dave, and joining me are fellow disciples and former Splatterpunks, Mike, Jackie, and Ryan.

Today, we will be reading from the Book of Murphy. Chapter 19, Verse 93: RoboCop the Third.

Topics of discussion in this sermon include the kidified take on everyone’s favorite ultra-violent 80s action hero; we wonder if Lewis should have become a RoboCop; and finally, we ask “Do Japanese Androids Run on Cigarettes?”.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

And thus concludes Jesusary. All rise…and go out into the Wasteland better people. And don’t forget the teachings of our Lord and Savior, RoboCop, who told his disciples: “Stay out of trouble.”

Please…sit. And welcome to the Church of Apocalypse Video. I’m your host and pastor, Dave, and joining me are fellow disciples with New York accents, Mike and Ryan.

Today, we will be reading from the Book of Marty. Chapter 19, Verse 88: The Last Temptation of Christ.

Topics of discussion in this sermon include how Jesus basically walks around throwing glitter in the air as he runs through his greatest hits of miracles; we wonder why every woman at this time is named Mary; and finally, Jesus has his own Inner Light* episode as he learns one of the most important lesions in religion: always be sure to ask an angel for their I.D.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for this station of Apocalypse Video’s Jesusary. When we return, we will be concluding our observance of this most holy month with a page from the Book of Murphy: Chapter 19, Verse 93 - RoboCop the Third (aka: RoboCop 3).


*See Season 5, Episode 25 of Star Trek: The Next Generation (coming to a future Trek-Cast near you!)

Please…sit. And welcome to the Church of Apocalypse Video. I’m your host and pastor, Dave, and joining me are fellow mistaken Messiah’s Mike and Ryan.

Today, we will be reading from the Book of Python. Chapter 19, Verse 79: Life of Brian.

Topics of discussion in this sermon include how hype-trains can often kill a classic (especially comedies); we trace a ton of modern comedy tropes back to the Python’s; and finally, we wonder why the Python’s thought lisps and cross dressing were the zenith of comedy.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for the second station of Apocalypse Video’s Jesusary. When we return, we will be dropping the comedy and putting on our serious faces as Martin Scorsese regales us with the story of The Last Temptation of Christ.

We hope you all had a safe and relaxing holiday…because it’s time to put on your church clothes and listen to the sermon of Apocalypse Video, as we bend our knee to the angry letters of the religious community and start a whole new monthly promotion: Jesusary. A month filled with nothing but Jesus-related content, ranging from his brutal crucifixion, to that one time that Willem Dafoe played him and Harvey Keitel was his best friend, the Brooklyn-sounding Judas.

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me are fellow heathens and blasphemers, Mike and Ryan.

Topics of discussion in this episode include Ryan’s dismal AMC Passion experience; we all go “huh…?” as Jesus is depicted, apparently, as the inventor of the Chair; and finally, we take a look at the accolades The Passion of the Christ received - mainly how it performed in the most prestigious of award shows: the MTV Movie Awards.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for the first station of Apocalypse Video’s Jesusary. When we return, we will be visiting the second station of Jesus content with Monty Python’s Life of Brian. See you next Sunday.

Why, hello there. And welcome back to the exciting conclusion to the Apocalypse Video Jack Frost Christmas Special Trilogy. I’m your host, Dave Davey, and oooh boy, have I got a third act for you! It seems old Michael had accidently left a window open when the boys recorded the last Jack Frost episode–err, that is, the one with the killer mutant snowman. And ooooh, wouldn’t ya know it…he came down with the dreaded Captain Trips. With Mike gone and Nick unavailable, how the heck were Dave and Ryan gonna save the Christmas Special?!

Heh heh heh, don’t worry, listeners. After all, this is a Christmas Special, and Christmas specials always have a little secret ingredient…a happy ending.

Topics of discussion in this episode include a film with a ton of credited writers (which is always a good sign); Ryan reveals when he officially became a man and left childhood behind (...by walking out of Jack Frost and into a showing of Stepmom); and finally, we wonder exactly how popular snowman jazz can possibly be.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What was your favorite visage of Jack Frost? Was it the non moving mutant snowman from ‘97 or the black eyed, computer generated nightmare from ‘98? Let us know, we wanna hear from ya!

That’ll do it for the Apocalypse Video Jack Frost Christmas Special Trilogy. Thanks for joining us, folks. We hope you had a good Christmas! Until next time, I’ve been Dave Davey, and it’s time for me to sign off from my remote cottage in the frozen secluded wilderness of the northern wasteland. Happy New Year!

Nothing says Christmas like Road House!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we gather around the bandstand and throw beer bottles at the chicken wire are fellow cinephiles and Double Deuce regulars Mike, Ryan, and special guest: Cody.

Topics of discussion in this episode include how Road House is basically John Wick for bouncers; we lament the transformation of the Double Deuce from a divey road house to a glorified TGI Friday’s; and finally, we touch on the Jake Gyllenhaal remake and how it lost the spiritual and philosophical center that made the 1989 film such a classic (also, how it cast Connor McGregor in a lead role…BIG mistake).

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]

That’ll do it for this action packed interruption to our regular Christmas programming. We hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! And don’t forget the one who made all of this holiday cheer possible…Brad Wesley. After all, there wouldn’t be a JCPenney in the greater Jasper area without him!

Why, hello there and welcome back. What…? Did you really think that was the end of the Christmas special? Heck, no! We’re only up to Act II. And I hope you went to the bathroom between episodes, because this next part of the story may make you pee your pants a little…and believe me, I know a thing or two about peeing your pants.

I’m your narrator, Davey, and I’m gonna tell you about the time that Dave, Ryan, Mike and Nick watched the 1997 snowman slasher Jack Frost.

Topics of discussion in this episode include a 90’s video store staple that feels like an R-rated live-action Goosebumps; we pour one out for the troubled production of Jack Frost and it’s inability to conjure snow for it’s winter setting; and finally, we raise an eyebrow at the film’s suspicious wiki entries and wonder if the film’s director is rewriting history.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite holiday slashers? Are you a Jack Frost fan or are you one of them Gingerdead Man freaks? Let us know, we wanna hear from ya!

That’ll do it for Part 2 of our Jack Frost Christmas Special Trilogy. We’ll be back before ya know it with the 1998 box office blunder, Jack Frost. Cya then, folks!

Well, hi there! The name’s Davey - Dave Davey - and I’m gonna tell you the tale of the Apocalypse Video Christmas Special…that almost wasn’t. It seems that the store manager at Sector 2’s favorite video store got word that people were getting just plain fed up over all the themed episodes this year. And wouldn’t ya know it, he went and decided to cancel the year end Christmas Special! Thankfully, Mike, Ryan, and Nick put their brains together and came up with a plan to save the annual Christmas Special from the tyranny of that Grinch-like store manager, Dave.

So put in your earbuds and sit a spell, while I recount the magical tale of Apocalypse Video’s Jack Frost Christmas Special Trilogy.

Topics of discussion in this episode include the freakish and terrifying introduction of our titular hero; we debate the practicality of January Junction’s “Ice Money” system; and finally, Dave takes Pardon-Me Pete to task and accuses him of being a narcissistic con man.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite stop motion Christmas specials? Let us know, we wanna hear from ya!

That’ll do it for Part 1 of our impromptu Jack Frost Christmas Special Trilogy. We’ll be back in a jiffy with the 1997 slasher schlockfest , Jack Frost. Cya then, folks!