I started the "Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast to explore the "messy middle," that place between the before and after photo. It can also be thought of as the gap between how we are feeling and how we think we should be feeling.

The middle doesn’t only exist during the year-end holidays, but as we’re closing in on that time of year, the gap between how we feel and how we want to feel can seem especially wide.

To deal with the stress and business of the holiday season, we must first acknowledge the stress within ourselves. Anxiety, depression, and burnout can result when we push for a sense of togetherness and not disappointing loved ones. Before we know it, joy gives way to the pulls of exhaustion and lonliness.

I know that it's easier said than done, but we need to get clear on what we want and how we want to feel if we're going to have a chance at getting through this season.

So, start with some questions:

• How am I feeling? How do I want to feel? 
• How do our holiday traditions make me feel?
• How many things am I doing because I want to be doing them? Or, because I feel I have to do them?
• Am I being too hard on myself by trying to please others and meet their expectations?
• What do I want my holiday season to feel like? How does it usually feel? 
• How willing am I to acknowledge what I truly want, knowing the discomfort that it might cause?

Remember that "practice makes permanent." Our holiday traditions have a way of continuing even when they no longer serve us. Maybe it’s time to make some space for a new approach or even a new tradition or two. We’ll revisit this theme in upcoming episodes, so give it some thought. 

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

 

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

 

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Ways to connect with me:  

• Website: danielleireland.com
• Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

 

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.