Sarah and Mary recap the Lifetime movie, “Sorority Sister Killer,” and boy, it’s a fun one. Mary is very turned off by the sorority’s “house mom,” Lana, but also wonders if that wouldn’t be the perfect job for her and Sarah. Sarah is critical of the hazing process that the pledges go through, yet acknowledges that those girls were a touch less enthusiastic about the alcohol involvement than she’d be. The big lesson the co-hosts take away is that it’s imperative to wear flats when drinking on a rooftop. “90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?” is also briefly covered, because they’re generous (idiots) with their time.

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Sarah and Mary are as eager as the couples to FINALLY get to Decision Day and — along with the rest of the world — are none too thrilled with the extensive time spent on Chris and Paige. Sarah is incensed with Chris’s insincere act of chivalry when he gives Paige his jacket to warm her up only AFTER they are back inside and out of the cold. Mary can’t help but feel the emptiness and indifference in Jacob, sincerely wishing him a perfectly cooked sirloin in his near future to perk him up. The co-hosts experience a roller coaster range of emotions but, as always, end up laughing the most. 

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Sarah and Mary laugh their way through a recap of the Lifetime movie “Burning Little Lies” in this week’s episode. Sarah enjoys a good old fashioned, near-death cliff scene and determines she’d rather be courted by a murderer than wooed with the gift of a bird’s nest. Mary’s unable to get over the fact that a daughter planned her father’s funeral knowing that her sister would miss it, and also realizes she’s fine to never attend a chili cook-off. The co-hosts motor through a 90 Day Fiancé “Happily Ever After” recap because, thus far, the season is a bit of a snooze-fest — but they still manage to get many laughs out of it all. You’re welcome.

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With the help of past couples, Sarah and Mary discuss the dreaded and exciting Decision Day. Amani & Woody, Karen & Miles, and Jamie & Beth attempt to try to tell it like it is on this week’s fluffy filler episode. But thankfully, Sarah and Mary take the reins and cut the BS. The co-hosts also buzz through 90 Day Fiancé “Happily Ever After” and share their thoughts, some random nuggets of wisdom, and of course, a bunch of hearty laughs.

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Sarah and Mary attempt to break down the Lifetime movie, “How I Met Your Murderer.” They get through it, but not without some major word struggles, plot holes, and laughter induced tears. Mack (ugh), the main character, is a True Crime Podcaster and Sarah has as hard a time believing that as she does saying the phrase “true crime podcaster.” Mary isn’t clear why Mack spends the bulk of her free time hanging out at a school pool, particularly when she never takes a dip. Even though the movie is left open-ended, neither of the co-hosts is in a hot hurry for part two.

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Even though this feels like the longest MAFS season ever, Sarah and Mary are still hyped to talk to each other and sink their teeth into the various relationships. With only two days left until decision day, Sarah is concerned that Clara is sweeping her sexual frustration under the rug, and contrary to Ryan saying they’ve “both put everything into the relationship,” there’s one thing he hasn’t “put in“ — and that’s the problem. Mary is positive that Haley’s change of attitude this week has more to do with looking like an a-hole and less to do with caring even a tiny bit about Jacob’s feelings — but at least he got to enjoy a nice steak. Have a listen and some laughs.

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Sarah and Mary are giddy this week with the recap of Lifetime’s “Just What the Doctor Ordered” — the fifth movie in the “Stalked By My Doctor” series — starring the incomparable Eric Roberts — as well as a bonus recap of the Season 6 premiere of “90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After.” Sarah’s not surprised to find Dr. Beck still extremely passionate about all matters of the heart, including surgery as well as pretty 18-year-olds. Mary is pleased he hasn’t lost his flare for impersonating medical personnel and is very impressed with his stealthy, ninja ways when secretly occupying other people’s homes. The co-hosts are thrilled with the open-ended conclusion of the movie, pretty much guaranteeing a sixth “Stalked By My Doctor” movie — and it can’t come soon enough.

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Sarah and Mary are jazzed to dish their thoughts on this week’s MAFS episode which takes the group to Hilton Head, SC for a couple’s retreat. With one week left until decision day, Mary finds it mildly concerning that Haley and Jacob can’t even share a car ride — let alone a bed — and she’s not happy with Virginia’s strict two-cats-per-person bed policy. Sarah is glad that Jacob is getting enough protein by having eight eggs as a pre-dinner snack and wonders if Champagne Vinny would rather ride a horse on the beach every day rather than have Briana wake him up — ever. The co-hosts are confused as to how a “love letter” from Ryan could fill Clara’s void of the D, but love her choice in swimsuits. We know, we know; it sounds like Mare-bear called in from a submarine deep in an ocean lair — whoops, just to acknowledge, but lots to enjoy.

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Sarah and Mary do their best to make sense of the Lifetime movie, “Envy.”  They had a lot of laughs trying to dissect it and that’s really all that matters, right? Mary struggles with the constant use of the term “Daddy” and wonders if she’d be thrilled or offended if she was gifted with a Honda Fit. Sarah is thankful that Kandi Burress is part of the cast and sincerely wants to know what became of her character since Lifetime decided not to tell us her fate. Sarah and Mary are envious of Gabby’s closet and long for the time they lost trying to understand this movie.

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With less than two weeks until decision day, not a whole lot has changed with the individual couples. Although it was a Chris-free episode, we weren’t without a varsity ball-bag to be annoyed by — thanks for taking the reins, Haley!  Sarah can’t understand why Haley is so bent out of shape with Jacob’s choice in footwear and wonders if it’s exhausting to have pursed lips 24-hours a day. Mary would rather eat a yearbook than look at someone else's, and suspects that Erik may, in fact, be a robot. Sarah and Mary are both entertained by Briana’s vocal range but fear that once those two have kids, Champagne Vinny will never enjoy a solid night's sleep ever again.

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