"The people that are most happily married have figured out a way to have enough security in their marriage to feel a sense of safety and trust, but allow it to continue growing. It’s a marriage that stops being validation based and allows growth within the context of the relationship. It’s willing to be honest enough with each other that the marriage stays alive and vital. Those are the most happily married people.

A lot of marriages do this split where the couple makes it predictable and safe, yet stay validation based and not bring up or deal with hard things. It feels predictable, but dead. This is when they're more vulnerable to looking for life outside of the marriage, because they're afraid of bringing life into the marriage." - Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife