Ask Christopher West

How do I know if the girl I am dating is "The One"? I have experienced a lot of spiritual growth since entering into my marriage, but my husband is not. He is not interested in living as the Church calls us to live. Do you have any advice for this situation? How do I help my friend who has committed adultery and left his wife?

Christopher and Wendy share their advice on these situations, and share experiences of their marriage, parenting their young children, and Wendy's most memorable granola-related misfortune.

This week’s questions:

Q1: How do I know if the girl I'm dating is "The One"? Do you have any thoughts on the best way to propose?

Q2: How can I live TOB if my husband doesn't know the church teaching on marriage, doesn't care to learn and holds most of the popular prejudices against the church of our times. I want to clarify: when we married, I had the same views he has now. I came into the church because of our marriage crisis. We are doing a bit better, but not living up to what God wants for marriage and families. We lived a partying lifestyle and began our marriage in the common disordered way of today. Do you have any advice?

Q3: I have a dear friend who comitted adultery and left his wife. It's very sad because we share a lot in the faith, and have been friends for almost 10 years. How can I help?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Introductory information on the Theology of the Body

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

I've been married before; can I be a consecrated virgin? What does chastity look like for engaged couples? How do I help couples who are struggling with practicing NFP? Christopher and Wendy dive into these questions on this episode of Ask Christopher West!

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: I have been told that only virgins, meaning never had sexual relations, can be consecrated to God. So, am I just a hopeless cause since I have been married before, and annulled. I consecrated myself to God with Scripture I was given by a Rabbi, since I couldn’t get an appointment with a priest. Is it valid?

Q2: Could you please address what chastity ought to look like in an engaged couple? The commitment level is certainly increased, so it feels as though physical intimacy ought to follow. I realize a couple is not fully committed until "I do" but I still am curious how chastity rules might change as your relationship changes.

Q3: First of all, thank you both for your service and ministry! I love yall! Learning about TOB honestly changed the course of my life so thank you from the bottom of my heart! I am an NFP teacher and love the Church's teaching on marriage and sex; however, I know these teachings are difficult to grasp for many people. I know many couples who use NFP, who deeply struggle with it and are almost resentful because they feel its not fair due to long periods of abstinence or loss of libido for some women during the second half of her menstrual cycle, or etc. My question is how do I support and encourage these couples? What can I do to help others see the joy in living this out while understanding that it does require sacrificial love?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Chapter 4 of The Good News about Sex and Marriage

Original Netflix Series Cooked

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

This episode contains subject matter of an intimate marital nature.

How do I deal with post-graduation life outside the "Catholic bubble"? Do you have any advice for a couple struggling to bring the wife to climax during intercourse? Or for a couple in their later years, dealing with erectile dysfunction? Christopher and Wendy dive into these questions, sharing from their own experience.

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: I am graduating from a Catholic college, and preparing to go out into the world. What advice do you have for students who may be leaving the "Catholic bubble"?

Q2: My husband and I have had difficulty with bringing me to climax during sexual intercourse. How do I maintain an "other-centric" perspective on marital intimacy while dealing so closely with my own experience of the sexual act?

Q3: My husband and I have been married for 31 years. Recently, we have experienced erectile dysfunction, and have determined that we don't want to use a medication to address the issue. Do you have any advice on this situation?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Amoris Laetitia - Apostolic Exhortation by Pope Francis

Holy Sex by Greg and Lisa Popcak

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

What can TOB teach us about work? My wife wants to contracept, but I don’t. How would you recommend I handle this situation? Do you have any specific songs that speak to your love one another? Christopher and Wendy dive into their own stories to cast light on these questions. Also, does anybody see a duck?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: I was wondering if TOB can teach us something about work. Work, like sex, is an area of life where human beings often use one another. And yet many have experienced huge blessings by giving of themselves in a labor of love. How can TOB help someone stuck in a dead-end job? What can TOB teach us about work?

Q2: My wife wants to contracept, but I do not. I feel an increasing trust in God’s providence in regards to our sexuality, but my wife has threatened to leave our marriage over this issue. Do you have any thoughts?

Q3: Do you have any specific songs that speak to your love of one another?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Vademecum for Confessors Concerning Some Aspects of the Morality of Conjugal Life

I Choose You - Sara Bareilles

Army of Angels - The Script

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

As a couple in the perimenopausal stage of life, how should we handle issues surrounding NFP, irregular cycles, and prolonged periods of abstinence? As a husband, I feel that my wife is often only ever interested in sexual union from the physical side. How do I deal with this? How do I create space in my prayer time for me to hear the Lord speaking?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: My husband and I are entering into the perimenopausal stage of life. My cycles are very irregular, making practicing NFP difficult, and we have strong reason to avoid a pregnancy at this time. We are concerned about how practicing total abstinence will affect our marriage. Do you have any advice for this situation?

Q2: My wife seems to have less interest in sex than me, generally, and when she is interested, she seems more interested in just the physical act than the spiritual/emotional dimension. I am worried this is harming my marriage. What should I do?

Q3: In prayer, I find myself doing a lot of talking. How should I so listen so that I can hear God speaking?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Catechism of the Catholic Church - 2342

Marriage Counseling Resources:

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

How do I live my single-ness while in the process of an annulment? If you had only 30 minutes to talk to an RCIA class on Theology of the Body, what would you say? My husband is suffering from a pornography addiction; what should I do? Christopher and Wendy dive into these questions (and Christopher raps) on today's episode.

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: I am a married woman going through the annulment process. I have been successful in remaining chaste, despite sometimes desiring otherwise. Do you have any advice for how best to live this time in my life?

Q2: If you had only 30 minutes to speak to an RCIA class on the Theology of the Body, what would you say?

Q3: My husband is suffering from heavy depression and a pornography addiction. What should I do to be a faithful wife in this difficult time?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Made for More Parish Event

The Good News About Sex and Marriage

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

As a newlywed, how can my spouse and I live out the TOB message in our parish community? What do we do when our first year of marriage doesn't feel like a "honeymoon year"? Where should unmarried couples draw the line at physical intimacy? Christopher and Wendy share some stories from their own marriage

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: As a newlywed, what are your thoughts on how my husband and I can best live out the TOB message in our parish community, beyond living it out in our own lives?

Q2: Even though we were well-prepared and devout Catholics, the first year of our marriage has been difficult. The fact that it should be a “honeymoon year” is very discouraging. It seems like we are having a harder time than most other couples we know. What is your advice?

Q3: In ACW3, you talked about how married couples can be intimate but abstain from sexual acts during periods of fertility. How should unmarried couples go about deciding where to draw the line with sexual intimacy?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

The Good News about Sex and Marriage (Christopher referenced Chapter 4 in this podcast)

Made for More Parish Event

The Couple to Couple League's Live the Love Blog

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

As a single person in my thirties, how do I cope with the desire to be married? As a happily married man, how do I ensure that my sexual desire for my wife is expressed in love and not lust? How can couples develop a deeper practice of marital prayer? Christopher and Wendy draw from their own experiences of marriage in this episode of Ask Christopher West. Also, Christopher quacks. Really.

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: What do you do if you are single and you've been single for years? I’m in my thirties and I want to get married, but God has not put that person in your life yet. How do I reconcile this ache and longing for communion?

Q2: As a happily married man, I often struggle with my own sexual desire for my wife and distinguishing whether this desire (and how I express it) is right or wrong. We're firmly planted in the Church's teachings concerning sexual ethics but even within those boundaries my experience has been one of guilt over whether I am truly being loving or lustful toward my wife. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!

Q3: Do you pray together as a couple? What does that look like for you? As a spiritual director (and celibate woman, consecrated with vows), I encourage spouses to have and develop marital prayer. Often times I get surprised with the response: “that’s awkward”! I am aware that one’s spiritual life is quite intimate, but I imagine it could deepen other levels of intimacy in marriage, including physical intimacy. Would you mind sharing this intimate topic with us, your beloved audience ;)

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

For more by Christopher West on Marriage, check out The Good News about Sex and Marriage.

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

A lot of people support the Sexual Revolution (and everything that comes with it) out of genuine compassion for their fellow man. How do we best address or dialogue with people in this position? What are some ways that married couples manage conflict within marriage? Christopher and Wendy share from their own experience to answer these questions.

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: I think a great many people who support the Sexual Revolution (contraception, abortion, etc) do so out of a genuine compassion for others. Often, as Christians, we have a tendency to view such people as "the enemy". What's the most effective way to engage with them that respects (or at least assumes) their genuine compassion?

Q2: Can you share some ways in which married couples can manage conflict within their marriages?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Catechism 678

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.

Do I have to be a "slave" to God? As a minister, how do I figure out the balance between work and life balance? What role does male/female complementarity play in parenting? Christopher and Wendy answer these questions in this week's episode of Ask Christopher West!

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute Director Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

This week’s questions:

Q1: Why do the saints and mystics put such an emphasis on being a “slave” to Jesus, while we know that God is not a slavedriver?

Q2: As a minister, how do I balance the demands of ministry and family?

Q3: How should the complementarity of man and woman fulfill God’s plan in the context of parenting?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Pope Francis Apostolic Exhortation: Gaudete et Exsultate

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Produced by Sounder and Key.